Ok Then

Lots of stuff going on! Kind of. I guess...since we last talked anyways. Currently, I am sitting at my mom's house wishing their stupid ass dog Stormy would shut the hell up. My stepbrother recently moved back home as well and brought his ugly ass dog Cid (for the Citadel) with him and it is also a boxer. Those dogs are slowly moving down my list of dogs I like. The bottom of the list is slobbery dogs, but these two are getting close. I've always disliked Stormy, but she has really been irritating me since I got home. First off, she is older and bigger than Cid and should probably be able to law down the law. Furthermore, it's her house and her pillow and if she doesn't want Cid on it, she should be able to make that clear. Yeah, well, she doesn't and instead she whines because Cid sleeps on her pillow and I kind of want to punch her in the face. But I don't, chill out.

Whoa. So Stormy has finally shut up and now I'm watching a documentary called "Jesus Camp" and it is blowing my mind. Basically it is about Evangelical Christians, what they believe and this bible camp they go to in the summer. And this stuff is straight up crazy. I thought I knew about people and their Jesus-talk, but clearly I had no idea. At the moment, the leader of the camp is praying over the seats and all the electrical equipment so that it doesn't go out so their message can get out to everyone. She also gave a shout out to Satan, telling him she knows how he likes to come in and mess things up by cutting the power, but Jesus is not going to let that happen this time. Then she started speaking in tongues and that's where I lost her. My Tongue is really rusty and she was speaking really fast, so I missed a lot of it. This was the same lady that said Christians are getting fat and lazy and told the kids it was their job to teach people about God. Kind of funny she mentioned being fat because she is about 100 pounds overweight.

Before they got to the camp, they were talking to some moms. The first mom home-taught her kid (he had a really intense rat tail) that creationism was the ONLY feasible and logical explanation for how humans came about. This same kid also told us he was saved at age 5 because he realized life was no fun without Jesus. Quite the insightful 5 year old. I think he probably would have a little fun if he got to go to real school and make some friends, but his mom and I are obviously not on the same page. We might not even be on the same planet. The second household had a mom that made the kids say the pledge of allegiance (it was a little different than the one I was taught...it started "I pledge allegiance to the Christian nation...) and put their hand on the Bible and say some oath before they ate. And then another girl went and tried to save someone in the bowling alley and the dad told her, "way to be obedient." I would have told her, don't talk to strangers and if you do it again, you're getting a whooping.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!!! Oh lady, you just messed up. The fat lady just said that Harry Potter would have been put to death had he lived in the Old Testament because warlocks are enemies of God. Oh my. Bitch, back up off Harry Potter. And get your facts straight crazy lady. Harry Potter is a wizard.

Whoa. This lady really is crazy. Now she is making the kids cry and speak in tongues and yelling at them and washing them with Nestle water because they are hypocrites. It is seriously weirding me out. These kids are so young! They are so brain-washed...it hurts me. Earlier the crazy lady was talking about how people in Palestine are brain-washing their kids and teaching them to take up the fight for Islam by killing other people. She didn't specify, so I'm assuming she means every Islamic person is doing this to their kids. So, she thinks we should do the same thing, only she has "the truth" so that makes it ok. I am very concerned for these children. She is now telling them the punishment for sin is DEATH.

Oh no. The bowling alley girl just hated on Catholic churches saying God doesn't like churches where the people just sit there. I'm not offended, I just want to know how she knows that.

Ahhhh!!! Now they are declaring war on the nation! I am so confused! Now they are blessing a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. Now they are being lectured on abortion. And crying because 50 million of their friends were killed before they got a chance to live. Now they are handing out plastic fetuses (where do you even get those??) and taping up mouths with red duct tape that says LIFE. Not sure what purpose that serves.

What I would love to do is watch this with someone that is hardcore about church and see what they think about it. I also think it's interesting that the South is considered the Bible belt, when this nonsense is going on in Missouri. Quit hatin on the South people, cause the crazies are everywhere.

Um, ok. So this post was supposed to be about how fun my Halloween was and how I took the train home to Charleston...that's right, the train, they still exist. And how I got complimented on my eyes in both the Tampa and Jacksonville train station. Which I thought was weird because I can't think of any other time that has happened and now it's happened twice, both in train stations. Hm. And then I went to North Carolina to hang out with some family and that was really fun/interesting/hectic/slightly stressful. But this Jesus Camp nonsense just blew my mind instead and we'll just have to get to that stuff later. But here is a picture of my awesome Halloween costume in case all my babbling bored you:

I know, awesome, right? Adios people. Less weird stuff next time, I promise.