Break Time

"Well I'm on my way, I don't know where I'm going, I'm on my way."

I've decided this is my new life motto. Thank you Simon and Garfunkle. I've also decided the rest of January and all of February and most of March is going to be worry free. I am not going to stress about my life, my job, where my life is going, how much it's going to cost, how I'm going to get there and who's going with me. I am going to focus, instead, on what I'll be eating on my visit home and how awesome it's going to be. If you hear/read of me stressing, please tell me to take a chill pill. I probably won't listen, but try anyway.

"You're just too good to be true."

Another new motto. And yes, I'm talking about myself. Someone wise told me I was gorgeous and hilarious and I believe them. Now, if only I can get guys* to think this, we will be in business.

It's Friday! Hooray! I have some questions. What does this mean: o_O. Also this: #fb. Anyone?

And as a fun Cali story, there was what is believed to be a bomb threat going on across the street this morning. There was a bomb robot in the alley, digging through the dumpster and they blocked the entire street off. It was a little scary, but nothing happened. And it made for some interesting people watching. Not surprisingly, about 50% of people completely ignored the police tape and just cruised right under it and acted all indignant when the police yelled at them. My goober co worker thought maybe they shut down the block for a marathon when this man came running down the street. Unless it was an old, fat, and barefoot one person marathon that only spanned a block, she was wrong. She was. No other shoeless people came running, old or otherwise.

Last but not least, another W-2 form showed up in my mail yesterday and I got SUPER stressed because I ALREADY filed my taxes! I was all stressed out and it was late, so I couldn't call anyone and I thought for sure I was going to get audited, even though I don't even know what that means, but it sounds scary and I was tossing and turning all night. Then I found out today it's not that big of a deal and I'll be fine. It's still annoying though because I'm not sure why my boss didn't inform me that a second W-2 was on it's way, but it's also not that surprising. The not informing part...not the W-2 itself. That was a huge surprise.

Ok, hooray weekend! Hope yalls is great!

Dream big people!

*guys that are normal, nice, decent looking, have a job and a whole list of ridiculous standards I have set for people I want to date.

Let your poor heart break a little

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLEN!!!




I am kind of starting look like a stalker creepster, so I'll stop pretending Ellen and I are actually friends. I will say that I would have loved nothing more than to have been a part of this birthday dance routine.

Moving on.

I booked my tickets for a trip home! Hooray! I stopped debating and just got shit done. I'm sure I will continue to agonize and fret over the whole business but for now, I'm just going to look forward to family, sweet tea, friends, airport adventures and Chick-Fil-A. Bank account be damned!

Oh, and I just found this:





This song has been my anthem as of late and this is a perfect little find. I love the internet sometimes. I also love bedazzled ukuleles.


Friends, I am tired of being grouchy. It's not becoming and it's tiresome. Any thoughts on how to shake the funk? I have my own theories, but don't know if it's going to work out. We'll see. Also, I'm being melodramatic and starting to annoy myself.

Anyway, if you're in Charleston Feb 17-21, let me know. Chances are, I'd love to see you.

Dream big people!

Expensive Pleasures

Time for another installment of.....

Is jacky crazy?

Because I'm beginning to think maybe I am. Sometimes I think it's everyone else and other times I think it's me. Feel free to weigh in.

Oh yeah, "Expensive Pleasures" is the English translation of a Russian student's magazine. I find it hilarious.

So I went to this super random thing last night that involves a show and other details I'm (seriously) not legally allowed to talk about. Point is, I met people. Some of these people were very strange, in my opinion. And, like it always does, the fact that I don't have a car in LA (gasp!) was brought up and discussed at length. How do you survive?!?!?! Seriously? Survive? I'm sorry, but yeah it sucks A LOT not having a car, but it is nowhere close to being on the list of necessities for SURVIVAL. Get a grip people. Also, a lot of the people were "actors" which is basically code for unemployed douche bag so that's always annoying. Everyone was trying to outshine the other person, which I understand because that is I guess the only way you get anywhere in this redic town, but it gets old real quick.

The other thing that is almost guaranteed to come up when I meet new people is THE SOUTH. This crazy, mystical place that people have either: 1. Never been but heard things.... 2. Have briefly been for a weekend, pit stop, visit to their grandparents (in any state east of the Mississippi and below Pennsylvania, it's all the same) or 3. went to college there, but are originally from somewhere far superior. Needless to say, it's getting old having to dispel rumors that the South is sooooo different. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are differences for sure. But it's not a different planet over there. People are always, oh, it's so racist there, everyone is so racist, there is racism everywhere, blah blah blah. Obviously, I am not denying there is racism in the South or anywhere else in the US, but I would like to have some more specifics about where, how and when all this racism is happening. Have they experienced it personally? Have they witnessed it? Am I missing something? Am I crazy? I'm not part of a minority race so maybe I don't see it. I have an entire argument for the whole thing, but don't feel like now or here is the time for it. But feel free to discuss sometime.

Last but not least, am I crazy for wanting to leave LA? All these foreign kids are making me think I am. They are pretty convinced LA is the best and most fabulous place you could possibly be and I am out of my mind for thinking otherwise. I definitely can appreciate all LA has to offer and think it's a REALLY fun place to be. But there are a lot of things I am getting really tired of here. And I don't really think I would want to establish roots here. It is just a very stressful place to be and it was recently voted America's Rudest City. I'm not sure who voted and what it was based on, but I kind of feel the same way about that as I do about the South. There are FOR SURE rude ass people here, but guess what! There are rude ass people EVERYWHERE. Maybe because there are just so many more people here, the concentration of rude people gets overwhelming. I have met a lot of super nice people here. But, I will say that, in general, strangers I encounter are not all that friendly. A lot of people here are not interested in being "friendly" unless you can further their career somehow. Unless they want to learn English, I am of no use to them. I could go on forever. Point is, am I completely nuts for not being happy living in everyone else's dream world? Should I leave while it's good or wait because it might get even better?? So many options, no clue what to do with myself.

Oh wait, one more thing! Do I want to spend almost $400 on a short trip home? Damn you flying! You are, indeed, an expensive pleasure.

Please people, give me your thoughts. My own are of no use anymore.

Dream big people!

Lovers, Haters and Scientists

I just got an email inviting me to see a new show about a new game show for lovers, haters and scientists! Seriously, who thinks of this shit?

So things are kind of looking up. Last week was a REALLY stupid week but it was peppered with some good things too. And now it's a new week and things are looking up! Also, my grandma sent me some money, a friend might come visit, and guess who already filed her taxes?

THIS GIRL!

Because I am a badass like that! Refund is on it's way, hell yes!

So that's that. Nothing else going on. Still debating over the vacation, but think I just need to head in a whole new direction since things are not going as planned. Also, I got really mad at the Italian boy so boo on him. No longer set on visiting him. His loss, obviously. Even boys that don't know English very well still know how to say very stupid things.

I'm considering a trip home in February. I think I need a break from LA. It's been rather annoying lately, even with it's fantastic weather and I think a break would do us some good. Since we're in a relationship....and all. Whatever, I just need to leave and chill for a few days. Every other time I've gone anywhere it's a whirlwind of traveling, weddings, doing stuff and I think a some chill time would be a good thing. Still debating because it's a lot of money and that is annoying.

Here's to hoping this week is better than last!

Dream big people!

A Moment

I just need a moment.

Sometimes, I get really sad. And really angry. I'm both right now and I don't know what to do with myself. I am SO frustrated with work and the crap that comes with it. I just don't understand why it's so damn difficult! It could be so great and fun and people just have to ruin it. I'm frustrated with my whole stupid life and how I really thought things were headed in the right direction and now everything is REALLY STUPID. I was soooo excited about my awesome vacation plans and things were finally coming together and now it's all stupid. While we're at it, boys are dumb, it sucks being fat, my quiche got thrown away, my computer is slow, my bank account is dropping, I hate when I lose my cool, I need a haircut, Sarah Palin is a moron, being interesting gets you nowhere, and ELLEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU GIVEN ME A JOB YET????

ARRRRRGGGHHHHH. Shitdamnmotherfuckerfuckityfuckityfuckfuck.

Whine whine whinnity whinnerton whiney whineeeee WHINE. Call the waaaaaambulamce.

Nevermind, I don't have health insurance.

Thank goodness for hilarious TV. Jeez, I never thought I would say that, but laughter is the best medicine, right?

Dance parties are a good medicine too. Time for positive thoughts. Please send them west for me. Thank you and I promise I'll be in better spirits soon. I just won't post until I have something nice to say.

Dream big people!

PS-Don't worry too much. All is not lost. I still have awesome friends. And apparently lots of readers in Denmark. Even though I don't think I've ever even met someone from Denmark....

Questions

Some things I would like to know, watching TLC edition:

1. Am I the only person that doesn't wash their sheets once a week? I don't want to cough up the $2.25 it would cost every week nor do I think my sheets get that dirty in one week.

2. Why are some of the people on What Not to Wear sooooo frumpy and ridiculous? And why aren't they SO EXCITED to get FIVE THOUSAND dollars to spend on clothes??? I mean, have they never seen the show before? Everyone always looks a million times better when it's finished. And why are Stacy and Clinton always surprised when they are so difficult? It definitely puts my life into perspective a bit though.

3. Does anyone else think those Duggars people, with their 19 kids, are completely weird? Who watches that nonsense?

4. How does Oprah have SO much power? It kind of blows my mind a little bit, in a scary way.

5. 49 months seems like a lot of months to have a car payment. Is this normal?

6. Don't even get me STARTED on those fucking cleaning commercials. As always, the mom is the only person doing any damn cleaning. Moving the fuck on.

7. Jackie O is pretty cool. I think I'd like to be kind of like her. I'd have to class it up. A lot.

8. These cooking shows are out of control. I don't understand why they have to make everything so damn stressful! It makes me uncomfortable! Probably why I don't watch that mess.

9. I think it's really mean when brands call out other brands in commercials.

10. Holy crap, there are a lot of wedding related commercials. Damn you Valentine's Day!

11. OH MY GOSH, these people with "strange" addictions BLOW MY MIND. I literally can't handle them. I have to mute the commercials.

12. Toddlers and Tiaras!?!?! Christ, my mind was just blown again. TLC, I can't deal with you. What Not to Wear is the only thing I can stomach. And even that is tough sometimes in the first half.

13. Man, a crescendo of dramatic music gets me every time! Aw, I love the reveal! People are always so happy for them.

14. Wow, that cake boss dude is super obnoxious.

15. Trash bag commercials are a little overly dramatic these days. And toilet paper commercials. Like, does anyone really get that upset about these things? I know I don't.

16. Done with TLC, on to Tosh.0. SO DAMN FUNNY. Bye friends, ready to get out of my horrible mood.

Dream big people!

Ramblings

I was, once again, super awesome this weekend and pretty much did nothing. It was 80 degrees here on Saturday. EIGHTY. I guess I can kind of understand now why people think LA is awesome. 80 degrees in January is pretty bad ass. It would be more bad ass if I had a car and some people to do some cool shit with, like go to the beach, hike, not sit at home, etc. I did go to the beach on Sunday, but it's kind of sad when you're by yourself, amongst all the crazies. The beach here is SO different from home. It's novelty is starting to wear off.

Whatever. Enough complaining. There was some good that came out of sitting at home. I watched the HBO special of Bette Midler's Vegas show and it was fucking awesome. That woman is awesome and I hope am I as much of a "fucking goddess" as she is when I'm 65. I probably won't be because I can't sing and I'm guessing I won't ever be able to. But maybe I'll discover some other kind of talent and that will get me through.

I also watched some SNL and it has been KILLING it lately. When Jim Carrey hosted, it was beyond hilarious! I have always been a huge Jim Carrey fan and this just made me enjoy him even more. The psychic impersonator...genius! My favorite, by far, was Cameron the red winged blackbird from Arkansas. I love his accent.

OH MY GOSH-I cannot escape No Strings Attached, the movie. Seriously, it is everywhere and it's driving me insane. It looks beyond horrible and it will not stop throwing itself in my face. I am boycotting ever seeing it, not only because it looks terrible and predictable, but also because the advertisments are out of control. Fail. Furthermore, it was first an *NSYNC album, which is awesome because apparently Justin Timberlake has a movie coming out soon with basically the same premise. JT obvi wins because No Strings Attached, THE ALBUM was fantastic (It Makes Me Ill will forever be my jam), I went to the concert and rocked my face off AND I have yet to see a commercial for his movie so....yeah. I don't hate it already. Still probably won't see it, but I will jam out to It's Gonna Be Me and I Thought She Knew, and reminisce about when MTV had music videos on it and not crap shows glorifying teen pregnancy and drunk orange morons.

Last but not least, that bi-polar has kicked back in and I'm questioning whether or not this Europe vacation is a good idea. I mean, I really want to go. And I *think* I will have the money for it...eventually. I don't really have it right now, but I'll get my tax returns soon and I should have some other money coming in if things pan out like they are supposed to in the next few months. But, I'm concerned. It could potentially cost A LOT of money. Should I do it? Is it worth it? Is the Italian kid going to think I'm completely out of my mind and the whole thing is going to just be a disappointment? What if Austin's baby doesn't like me and cries the whole time I'm there? Oh god, so many things could go wrong. I don't know what to do with myself :( I need a life coach! The age old conundrum, go with your heart or your head? I think I'm too young to be listening to my head. What do you think? I'll listen to anyone that agrees with me.

Dream big people!

Ohhh yeah, I forgot to share this other thing from last week. It is my second favorite Ellen show, with Ryan Gosling. And it's funny because I was actually supposed to go to this show but didn't because of work. I won't elaborate, it's too painful. Luckily, this picture makes me laugh every time. Enjoy! And watch the clip online if you didn't see the show. You can thank me later.

Ridere

These come from real conversations I've had with a super cute Italian kid I know. I am sharing out of total love and I am NOT making fun because god only knows what my Italian comes out sounding like. If I had to guess, it would be....really terrible. And equally as amusing. Maybe he has a blog about the stupid shit I say in Italian. I'll never know.

I thought Americans were asshole
but
i understand
if false
no true
are a good people

I thought that was very nice of him. And you're welcome, Americans, for changing his perception of YOU ALL.

Sad when a people cry

This was him distinguishing the difference between sad and tired.

But if I go to USA to live, I make a homeless?

He was expressing concern over what he would do, in the event he were to move to the USA.

end sleep
in inglishhhh
help
...........

He needed the word for "wake up." Also, his spelling isn't great. Don't hate. My favorite is the dramatic pause in extended ellipse at the end.

no
because i so sad
this is real

He wanted to emphasis that he was very upset and missing the US. He tells me, literally, every time we talk. I believe him.

say bye bye fever

He had been sick earlier in the week and I asked if he was still sick. I was happy to find out he was not.

But this night I go to dancing

I asked about his plans for the evening.

the all people love martin?

I told him about our day off for MLK. I'm not really sure what he was asking.

Jacquy you ever smile

He says "ever" for "always." And he obviously is delusional if thinks I always smile. And he spells my name differently and more crazy every time we talk. Ever.

but no problem I love OBAMA hahahahaha

We were discussing Mussolini. He's a fan, but it's alllll good because [see above].

You hungry?
With me?

He meant angry.

ok
when you eat a chewing gum and speack
ahahahah is the same
ahahahhah is funny
ok this
when the american speach the same when a paople eat and speach with a chewing gum
understand ahahahahhahahahahahhahaha

No idea what was going on here. But he thought it was really funny. Also, the "ch" in Italian is pronounced like our k and they don't have the letter k in their alphabet so that is why he writes speach and thinch.

So there you go. Is this mean? I hope not. I cannot explain to you how happy these conversations make me. They are the highlight of my day and the reason I get up in the morning. Just kidding, that is very dramatic. But seriously, he makes me really happy and I wanted to share. Let me know if you think it's mean. I'll take it down. God, I hope I get to see this kid in person soon. Sadly, I won't have a record to share with you but maybe I could GET VIDEO! Oh man, getting carried away.

Dream big people! Gento grande sogno! (That is the Google translate for it...it's probably wrong.)

Any Merry Little Thought

Hey! Another thing going around facebook. Man, I'm boring. Sorry. I'm out of material. Nothing exciting going on except the really nice weather and the prospect of vacation. Also, I like talking about and sharing my music. It makes me happy. So this one was to hit shuffle on your iPod (or whatever off brand MP3 player you have) and share the first 25 songs that play. I know, who really cares? I may have lost some of you already, but here was the first 25 on my iTouch, which has a limited number of songs because it can only hold about 1,000. I had to pick and choose what went on, so it's slightly less random than my actual iPod. I'll do both for you people, so you don't feel like you're missing out. I'm a giver.

1. Madonna-Hung Up
2. Fuel-Shimmer
3. Hootie & the Blowfish-Let Me Be Your Man
4. Fiction Plan-Everything Will Never Be OK
5. The Chords-Sh-Boom
6. Will Hoge-Ms. Williams
7. Green Day-Basket Case
8. The Police-Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
9. Garth Brooks-The Dance
10. Queen-Somebody to Love
11. Ben E. King-Stand By Me
12. Black Eyed Peas-Meet Me Halfway
13. Sister Act soundtrack-Oh Maria
14. The Temptations-Can't Get Next to You
15. Akon & DJ Khaled-We Takin Over
16. Lionel Richie-You Are My Destiny
17. Justin Timberlake-Cry Me a River
18. Kelly Clarkson-I Do Not Hook Up
19. Michael Jackson-Dirty Diana
20. Firehouse-Don't Treat Me Bad
21. Rick Springfield-You Better Love Somebody
22. Righteous Brothers-Unchained Melody
23. Marc Cohn-Walking in Memphis
24. Britney Spears-Do Something
25. Taio Cruz-Break Your Heart

And now my actual iPod, which has over 4,000 songs on it and includes A LOT more random shit. Should be interesting. Here we gooooo


1. Augusto Cego-Nha Fidjo
2. Cobra Starship-Good Girls Go Bad
3. Travis Tritt-Tell Me I Was Dreaming
4. John Mayer-Back To You
5. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes-Rocket Man
6. Blues Traveler-Runaround
7. R.E.M.-What's the Frequency Kenneth?
8. Dave Barnes-Grace's Amazing Hands
9. Sara Evans-Born to Fly
10. She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain-LSF camp CD
11. Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars-Billionare
12. Willie Nelson-On the Road Again
13. The Fray-Never Say Never
14. Bruce Springsteen-Born in the USA
15. Jack Johnson-Bubble Toes
16. Elvis-Love Me Tender
17. Dr. Dre-Xxplosive
18. Jimmy Eat World-A Praise Chorus
19. Regina Spektor-Better
20. Bob Marley-Buffalo Soldier
21. John Mellencamp-Another Sunny Day
22. Outkast-Gasoline Dreams
23. Jimmy Buffett-Brown Eyed Girl
24. Peter Pan Soundtrack-You Can Fly! You Can Fly! You Can Fly!
25. The Beatles-All You Need is Love

Well, this was fun! I actually really like the shuffle option, gets me to listen to lots of random songs I forgot about. However, the iPod cannot be trusted. I can't put it on shuffle and let others listen and/or just put it in the speaker and walk away. Obviously, really crazy nonsense can pop up and it's always slightly embarrassing when you are riding in the car/put your iPod in the speakers at a party and The Hello Song from your Italy camp starts blasting. It's awesome for me, but no one else appreciates it. It can be fun sometimes though. Who doesn't love a random throw back jam from Rick Springfield? Or a good Putomayo instrumental? Sadly, some people are not down with the awesomeness that is Sister Act Soundtrack, both 1 and 2 and things can get uncomfortable. Which is too bad because Joyful, Joyful is the shit.

Also, if you can name what song the title lyric comes from, you will win a prize. Email me with your answer and you'll get something cool. Hint: It's one of the 50 songs listed. :)

Dream big people!

PS-Yes, this is what I did Friday night. Being excited about the prospect of maybe possibly going on vacation has worn me out.

It's Like an Angel Sighing

Pandora, thanks for being awesome right now and playing "Like A Prayer" and thusly, inspiring the title of this post. (Whoa, now it's playing a song by Rob Pattinson and it's very slow and depressing. He sings? Whatev. Still Team Taylor)

First, THANK YOU to my new followers :) I love yall. Blogger says I have 6, but then I click on the list and only 5 people show up. But, it's ok. Thank you to my invisible follower as well. You people will be rewarded....when I'm awesome and famous. You will get a shout out for being amazing.

Anyway. Friends, I'm getting concerned for my health. I don't like how coffee can make me a new, better person. I have always kind of prided myself on not being a coffee drinker and LA is kind of changing the game. I realize that pretty much everyone drinks coffee and this is not a big deal, but I don't like the idea of caffeine being able to change my mood so easily. I think it's actually more that I don't like that I'm a horrible grouchy bitch for most of the day. This comes from a combination of different things. Really annoying emails at work, people asking me stupid questions, my coworkers being completely ridiculous and just in general, having to be at work. I don't usually perk up until the afternoon. Like now. And now I'm in a great mood! It's a different combination of good things but it all started with an afternoon pick me up macchiato. Starbucks is the devil.

I've been trying to do some life planning and it's not really going all that well. It's a lot of, this depends on that and if this happens, I'll do this and blah blah, etc etc. I get torn between my free spirit side saying, sccreewwww itttt, I'll do what I want, and my responsible, big girl side saying, save your money! Plan for the future! Be sensible! I change my mind every day. Seriously. Sometimes every hour. It's a tough road to walk. Also, I got super pumped about my brilliant plan and it seems no one else thought it was brilliant. A little, hopeful part of me really thought people would be all about it. Turns out, no one really cares and very few were interested in investing $1 in my vacation plans. Selfish bitches! Just kidding. It would probably work better if I were more direct, but I don't want to get pushy, so I'm keeping quiet. For now.

But, the thought of an awesome European vacay still lingers in my mind. I REALLY want this to happen. Really really really really really REALLYYY. It's complete wishful thinking, but sometimes, that is how you make things happen. So we'll see. Cross your fingers for me. Or, send me $1.

Also, after work, I went to the beach and it was fantastic. I'll share. Yall know how much I love a good sunset picture:

Dream big people!

A Brilliant Plan

People.

A brilliant plan has just entered my brain. I should be sleeping. I'm tired and I have to go to work tomorrow. I have spent the entire afternoon/evening/last few months trying to plan my life. Life planning is hard. It makes my head hurt and it's frustrating. For one part of my life plan, I realllyyyyyy want to go to England and see my precious little second cousin, Isaac. I have a two week vacation I can take and that is what I want to do with it. I maybe want to take a little side trip to Italy, but it's mainly about the baby, I SWEAR! Anyway, I looked up a bunch of flights and options and sadly, most things are jusssttt out of my budget. Those websites are tricky though...fly to London for just $450!!! Awesome! Oh wait, then add $200 taxes and fees. Damn. Anyway. The trip is maybe do-able, I would just have to eat Ramen for lunch and dinner for the rest of the year.

So, to facebook I went. Hey fb friends, do you know any sites that have cheap flights? Maybe someone has an inside scoop, I thought to myself.

AND THEN.

I realized that if every one of my facebook friends gave me $1, just one teensy tiny little dollar, I would have enough money for the flight and a little left over for that possible side trip. HOW INSANE/AWESOME is that???!!! I know, it is quite possibly the most genius thing I have ever thought of.

However.

There are a few glitches.

1. Most of my fb friends don't live anywhere near me and therefore, cannot just give me $1 cash.

1a. I would also look ridiculous trying to purchase a plane ticket with singles

2. I don't really know how I would go about collecting these dollars.

3. I am not sure if this is completely legal. It seems almost too good to be true.

4. I HATTEEEE asking people for money. Hate it.

4a. On the other hand, $1 is not that much. And, whenever people I know ask me for money for good causes, I almost always give it to them.

4b. Does this count as a good cause? I do believe this vacation has the potential to be the best thing that ever happened to me (save Ellen), so people could feel good about that. Right? It wouldn't be tax deductible, but I would send you a nice thank you card. Better yet, a thank you POSTCARD from my awesome trip. Worth it!

5. It might not work and that would be sad.

What say you, blog world? Think this is possible? Would you give me a $1? Do you know how I could collect them? Thoughts are welcome.

Now I must sleep. My mind is out of control with possibilities and I need a fresh start tomorrow to get my shit together.

If there was ever a time, it has come to...

DREAM BIG PEOPLE!!!!!

(one dollar at a time...)

PS-Also, maybe Ellen will catch wind of my goal and she'll think it's awesome and she'll ask me to be on the show and then we'll prank someone at Starbucks and then she'll scare me and then she'll give me a joooobbbbbb! Deep breath. Getting a little carried away. But, this might just be the magic of 1.11.11 working in my favor.

A Message to Marketing Execs:

I'm getting sick and tired of everything being geared towards couples. Seriously, commercials, I can deal with you during the holidays because there are other holiday things that cancel you out and make you tolerable. Now, however, it's lowly January and all I have to look forward to is Martin Luther King Jr day and the one Christmas Tree Cake I have left. There are no Christmas lights, Christmas music, Christmas food, ornaments, etc (see Christmas favorites) and I really don't need a Red Lobster commercial reminding me that I'm sad and lonely and have no one special to share a special meal with. Not that I would EVER go to Red Lobster for a meal, let alone a date, but still. I've noticed there are very few commercials that are geared toward the single 20 something. Which is too bad because....that's what I am. So yeah, get on that marketing execs. Make me want to go out to dinner, even as a party of one. Make your food look that good that I'll go out and eat it by myself. Or, maybe, the guy I went out with this weekend would be willing to go. He was, after all, willing to still call me "even though I looked a little big at the club." I swear on all that is holy he seriously said this to me. He told himself, "she's got a really pretty face, you should give her a call." This is right after he thought he gave me a compliment by saying I was a lot smaller than he remembered. So awesome. Dating is so dumb. I will not be seeing him again.

Anyway, for some good news! My room is looking super cute these days. I'm actually quite pleased with it. It has come a looong way since it's early days and now I want to share:

Just noticed my picture is crooked...I'll fix that. The things on the other side of the mirror are postcards. My collection out here is pretty sad....I didn't bring any of my cool ones from home. So send me some! I love getting postcards.

I really enjoy my bookshelf. Please notice the Ellen water bottle. Yes, I still have my Christmas stocking. I didn't get it until after Christmas, so I'm leaving it up until I get sick of it. Also, that is my stupid computer on my desk that I recently thought had come back to life, but it was apparently a one time deal. I tried burning a CD on it and it's been frozen for the past two days. Stupid thing.

My new Ikea additions! First, a REAL bed! Hooray! Sorry, I didn't feel like making it for the photo shoot. My cute new light, that I hung from the ceiling myself (don't look any closer at the hook it's hanging on...I got fed up and didn't screw it in correctly, so it's a little caddywompus looking, but it does the job), and my tree! I don't know how much longer the tree is going to make it though. I just recently looked at it's instructions and it requires a "water bath" every couple of days. I don't really know how to administer a water bath so I just filled up the sink with water and stuck it in there for a while over the weekend. That was the first "bath" its had in the month I've had it, so we'll see how it goes. It also doesn't get that much sun because I always forget to open my super cute curtains when I leave in the morning. Sorry tree, I'll try to do better.

These pictures don't really do the room justice, so you should just come see it for yourself sometime. I love visitors! We could go to dinner! Or just send a postcard. Either would make me happy.

Dream big people!

A Miracle!

Ok, a miracle may be a slight exaggeration, but I am pretty proud of myself and my green thumb. I have revived this plant, back from the dead. It was literally standing at death's doorstop and I snatched it back with my gardening skillzzzz. Impressed? I thought so. Here's my secret: I put it in the sun and watered it every now and then. I know! I truly have a gift.

In other news, life has improved! It's amazing what sushi and friends will do. Especially when the come bearing gifts:

CHRISTMAS TREE CAKES!!!! YAY!! They DO exist in California! Apparently they had to come from some far off city, but either way, they are now in my possession and I am SO happy! :) They are the chocolate kind, which I'd never had before but they are just as tasty as the vanilla ones. In fact, I had two for breakfast. Good thing I have another box!! LA is apparently Team Hostess and not Team Little Debbie, but that is just another reason why LA is 100% the most ridiculous place I have ever been.

So now it's well into Saturday afternoon and I have not left my bed and that makes me real happy. I need to get my shit together, clean my room and make some life decisions, but I think I'm just going to hang out with Pinky and look up pretend vacations I'm going to take.

Dream big people!

Cause my life is great and you ain't nothing but a ho

Oooh, what a great line. It makes me smile every time.

I have been HELLA grouchy this week. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I apologize to anyone that had to interact with me. Sorry people that emailed me with stupid questions at work, probably could have been a little nicer with my response. And sorry to the people I was severely judging on the bus. Even though, really, you should have gotten up for that old woman in the walker. Sorry Italian boy for being a total crazy person and making zero sense when I was talking to you. It's probably for the best you don't understand most English.

Anyway. Glad I got those apologies out of the way. Just saw a commercial for pet diet food. Seriously? Are there pets making New Years resolutions to lose weight now? Is this just Hollywood or am I going crazy? Along that same vein, losing weight is hard as shit and it's really annoying. Also, now I'm watching Two and Half Men and wondering, how does Charlie get so many women wearing those push down socks? That confuses me.

Now I'm watching Private Practice and everyone is being SUPER bitchy. Even the men. Ahhh, I'm so bitchy too! I am thinking nothing but horrible thoughts. Just to put this last one out there, I did some facebook stalking today and people are SO WEIRD. Oh one more, shipping stuff overseas is expensive and it's really annoying.

Stopping now. Getting sushi tomorrow and I just know life is going to improve. Can't wait!

Dream big people! And tell me who you are!

A Recommendation

I just read "The Help," and it was one of the best books I have read in a long time. I have always been a huge fan of anything having to do with the 50s and 60s. Well, the idea of the era I guess, not really everything that was going on during that time (segregation, the housewife idea, etc, etc) but the history nerd in me loves the greatest generation. Can't explain it, but WWII has always been my favorite era of history.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Back to the book. It was fantastic. It made me both proud and appalled to be a Southerner and slightly embarrassed to be a white person. It really took me through a range of emotions, like good books are supposed to do.

I just saw a commercial for Police Women of Cincinnati, which I will most likely never ever watch, but it reminds me how far we've come since the days of the book and that is awesome.

I had other stuff to say as well, but now it's Wednesday and I am unbelievably grouchy for some reason. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think a nap would solve most of my problems. Maybe some popcorn too. My brain has also shut down and I'm having problems making intelligent sentences.

Also, show yourself readers! I know people are reading this, the stats tell me. And from super random places too...Slovenia? Who out there is from Slovenia? Follow me! Or leave a comment. I want to know your thoughts. Unless they're mean. Then keep them to yourself, thank you.

Almost time to go home. I need to go to the gym, but holy crap, I hate walking there. Even when it's really nice outside, like today. WHAT is wrong with me??

Dream big people!

It's 2011, bitches!

It's a new year people! I rang it in like a fucking rock star, and it was awesome. I hope everyone's got off to a fantastic start, like mine.

From what I remember anyway. Some of the evening is a bit fuzzy, but I know that it started and ended awesome, so I'm assuming the in between was awesome as well. I know it involved being in the deejay booth, dancing my ass off, falling on my ass multiple times (I have a bruise), wearing an Italian deejay's sunglasses, posing on a red carpet patch, receiving multiple NYE kisses and not once falling asleep in the club. It was a successful evening! The only bad part was my regret at not buying a street hot dog on the walk home. I passed by two before I decided I realllllllyyy wanted one, didn't see another stand and was not allowed to turn back. I was most upset. But no worries, I got one the next evening, so my hot dog appetite has been quenched.

I also apparently made a lot of new friends at the club, based on some photos I have and text messages I have received. Word on the street is I'm a pretty friendly little drunk. This is not the first time I've made a lasting impression on my new friends. This is making me sound like an alcoholic, so I'm going to stop. It doesn't happen a lot, I swear! Just a few times...lately. Whatever, I gotta do whatever it takes to be the life of the party.

ANYWAY. Taking this post in a new direction. I was wandering around Santa Monica today, going to the library, CVS, etc and I was like, jeez, there are so many fucking weird ass people here. Weird people are annoying. And then. I realized I was carrying this around:

So I don't really have a lot of room to talk, now do I? Doesn't matter that it was a gift, or that I don't have another bag that so perfectly fits my lunch and other work things...I am still 25, carrying this around town. I should probably stop judging people.

Also, I was watching Ellen and my desire for her to give me a job has been renewed. Who has a brilliant plan on how to make this happen. Anyone? Let me know and when it happens, I'll hook you up with tickets. I don't forget the little people.

Anyone make a New Years resolution? I stopped making them because they are always the same and they never actually happen, so I figured I would just stop lying to myself. But more power to anyone that did...and good luck! Hope your 2011 is awesome, friends. :)

Dream big people!

Rose and Thorn: 2010 edition

I cannot believe a new year starts tomorrow, I really can't. In just a few short hours it will be 2011. This year has flown by and it's blowing my mind. And to sum it all up, one last rose and thorn for you, my beautiful readers.

Rose: Um, DUH, getting to meet ELLENNN!!!!! Man, it continues to put a smile on my face just thinking about it. I try to work it into every conversation, especially when I meet someone new. Damn, it was just so far beyond great, I can't even stand it. It's not just a rose, it is a greenhouse where they mass produce roses. It might be the rose for the rest of my life. Perhaps only my wedding will surpass it. That is not guaranteed, so just check back with me every September 22nd until we have an answer.

Thorn: Though many good things have since come of it, the Italian mishap was one of the worst days of the year. Most upsetting, don't care to go into further details thank you very much.

Bud: SO many things to look forward to in 2011! I am positive it is going to be even BETTER than 2010, which is saying a lot because 2010 kicked some serious ass.

I was going to do an entire list of highlights and lowlights, but I ran out of time/was too lazy. Maybe later, when I have recovered from what I know is going to be an AMAZING New Years Eve partttyyyyy tonight!

Happy New Years friends! Felice Anno Nuovo! Here's to 2011 where I will continue to...

....DREAM BIG PEOPLE! :)