All Aboard...

....the craaazzzzzyyyyy [bus] (Ozzy style). That is what I was on today on the way home! It was total insanity. I got on later than usual...but earlier than I have before. So it was this weird in-between time that I will never ever be doing again. First, I get on and there are two loud ass girls eating their McDonald's dinner listening to a boom box, breaking all kinds of rules. And they were talking all loud like everyone wanted to hear their business. Oh, whoa whoa, I almost forgot. That was really second because FIRST there was a CLOWN at my bus stop who got on with me. And when I say clown, I mean straight up clown. Face paint, big shoes, wig, red nose, the whole deal..and he looked Asian. Then I got on the bus and oddly enough, he fit in better than I did. The bus driver had very similar make up to the clown and there was a guy with pig-tail dreads.

Just when I was thinking that was strange, more people started getting on and it turned into a party bus. People were connecting, catching up with old friends, laughing, having a good ole time. I missed a lot of it because I was blasting my music so I could drown everyone out (thank GOODNESS for ipods) but I would catch bits and pieces when a song stopped. Two men in front of me were having a Jesus talk...one was witnessing, the other was listening intently. Then a homeless man joined in the convo and was telling them how he died on the operating table exactly 8 years today. It was declared a miracle by the witnesser. The other man agreed. Then Bon Jovi came on and I stopped listening. On the next lull I hear an extremely loud man lamenting about how he got on the wrong bus, but then he made a friend with a man selling Harry Potter books and I think it cheered him up a bit. At one point, a woman with two teeth got on yelling "Fuck me? Oh no, fuck you muthafucka," whilst drinking orange Arizona iced tea out of an extra big can. I suspect she had mixed it with something. I paused my ipod for a bit while she ranted because it was entertaining. She then made a friend and then started crying because she "lost her grandmamma yesterday." This lady looked about 50 so I was impressed she still had a grandmamma (until recently I guess). Then the Jesus guy gets off, but first he gives the other man what looked like a movie ticket to his church and the other guy (who was very white) was all, "Thanks brah (or however you spell the slang version of bro)" to the Jesus guy (who was very black). It made me cringe a little. He was trying so hard! I don't think Jesus guy minded though, he seemed pretty pleased with his new friend. There was also a guy in a wheelchair selling all sorts of trinkets who made friends with the miracle man, who was also selling trinkets, only his were in a garbage bag.

In short, the bus ride home was like a crazy people meet and greet. No one told me. The clown got off on my stop and I thought about being his friend...just to see what his deal was. But I was hungry and decided talking to Asian clowns in the El Salvadorian ghetto during rush hour traffic is probably not the smartest of ideas. So here I am at home, with no new friends. Sad times for me. Maybe tomorrow.

Dream BIG people. Adios