Now I'm a Music Critic

OH MY.

So many things have been happening in the past few weeks, I really don't even know where to start. I am currently working on writing out the whole saga that has been the last few months of my ridiculous life. I have been waiting on certain things to get resolved, and rather than put out information that may have to be retracted later, I just keep waiting for everything to resolve. This may or may not ever actually happen, but as of right now, I am just waiting on one last detail to fall into place and then I will release my summer memoir: "Summer, 2015: Shit Happens, Jacky Should Not Make Plans." Until then, I'll just talk about some insignificant things that have been on my mind lately.

I keep falling behind on posting things on here. I have so many posts in my mind, and things I want to say, but I've been rather unmotivated the last few weeks. It's ultimately all my own fault, but since I like placing blame, I'm going to say the lack of wifi and a place to sit in my apartment. (When I say apartment, I mean my one room hole of sadness I currently share with SY.) I really enjoy sitting at a desk and typing, and there is no room for a desk in my hole of sadness (HOS). In fact, there's not even room for a chair! We sit on the bed, the floor or the toilet and none of those places have the back support I require for blog writing. Apologies to anyone that has been patiently waiting for an update.

So, I am currently taking advantage of the chairs, and wifi, at a Caffebene (Korean coffee shop) near my place. I am also enjoying the FABULOUS fall weather and am, per usual, the only person sitting outside that isn't smoking and definitely the only person in the sun not wearing 17 layers of protective clothing. I am soaking up all the vitamin D while I can because Korean winter IS COMING and it is going to suck so bad. Korea is ready, as they have already turned off the AC ("aircon") in most public places, including the airport. Seriously, when the calendar says it's fall, regardless of what the weather is doing, the AC comes to a halt in most places in Korea. It's still pretty warm, so it's quite uncomfortable, but Koreans don't care. I actually think they like to make things as uncomfortable as possible. It's a point of national pride, suffering through uncomfortable circumstance; self-imposed or otherwise. I think that's why SY never takes medicine when he is sick. He likes to prove he can continue functioning, even though he's miserable and sneezing all over the place. I'm the opposite, I want all the drugs and I will use even the smallest ache as an excuse to lay in  bed all day.

And laying in bed all day has been a big part of my life the last few weeks. Honestly, I actually don't love doing that for too long. It makes me depressed to feel so unproductive and lazy. But it's a vicious cycle, because the longer I do it, the less motivated I am to do anything else. A sense of hopelessness sets in and leaving the HOS becomes more difficult. Some guilt also comes with it, because how lucky am I that this is even an option? So lucky. But, the worst part is, especially recently, is the regret that has come with my funk since most of my problems were caused by own stupidity. I am not usually one for regret. I am all about moving on, looking forward, leaving the past behind and all that jazz, but I have been increasingly discouraged by my poor decision making skills.  Some examples: 1. My clothes are not fitting. I'm gaining weight and I have to squeeze into my clothes and it SUCKS. Why is this happening? Because I rarely exercise and don't make healthy food choices. All my fault. I know, I know...be body positive, love the body you have and blah blah, but I don't have the money or really, even the shopping options here in Korea, for a new wardrobe so I'd really just love for my current wardrobe to fit.

Number two, and even more embarrassing: I had double ear infections in both my ears recently. It was horribly painful, and I don't remember the last time I was so miserable. How did I get these ear infections? By my own stupidity. I'll try to explain. It started in college. I had a very real and disturbing addiction to q-tips (previously discussed here). I don't know how it started, or what my fucking problem was, but I gave myself swimmers ear and it was the WORST. I learned my lesson for a short time, but like most addicts, I relapsed and was back on 2 or 3 tips a day. I don't know, I guess I just really hate ear wax. Anyway, I managed my addiction over the past few years, with no more major incidents. Q-tips and I learned to co-exist peacefully. Then I went to Japan, the country of my ancestors, and people that just get me because they go a step beyond tips and have actual ear scrapper thingys (I don't know the technical term). Knowing it was the worst idea ever, but unable to resist, I purchased a Hello Kitty ear scraper and quickly became even more addicted to my the little pink ear wax remover, with matching bell and charm attached (because, Japan, duh). My line of thought was kind of like, well, Japanese people live forever and are all skinny and healthy, so this can't possibly be that bad for you. Plus, they are literally my people, so I figured I was safe to do whatever they did. That all may be true, but they probably have more restraint with this tool than I do. Perhaps I only inherited a fourth of the will power they have (get it??), but I was going to town getting all that ear wax out of my ear canal. DO NOT DO THIS. Ear wax is there for a reason, it does good things for your body and there is a reason you are not supposed to stick ANYTHING in your ear, pink or otherwise! Not having a schedule, or fucking anything to keep me motivated and on task, I was spending even more time digging around in there on a daily basis. This caught up to me in a BAD way and I legitimately can't think of anything more painful in recent memory. Oh my god, it was the fucking worst. I was so miserable and the doctor here sucked all the fluid out of my ears with this little machine thing and I legit thought I was going to pass out. They are all better now, but the point of all this is that I caused ALL of this pain and misery on account of my OWN FOOLISH DECISIONS. Jacky! Get your shit together, my god.

Since I have returned to Korea, however, I am feeling a little more optimistic about life and have actually left the HOS every day since I got home. I am trying to make wiser, more informed life decisions and am hoping to get myself on the path of redemption. For starters, I threw away my ear scrapper thingy and put myself on a strict q-tip diet. One every few days, on the very outside of my ear will hopefully keep double ear infections at bay. I also went on nice little walks both days, and had a salad for lunch. The weight loss path is long, and daunting, but baby steps are the only way I ever accomplish anything in my life, so here we go.

In addition to getting my ear wax game together, I have also found some fantastic music lately. I sometimes forget how motivating and encouraging a really good playlist can be. If I ever sound whiny or pathetic to you, be like, Jacky, have you listened to some good music lately? Stop whining and put on some Van Morrison (he's my favorite). So to end this babbling mess of a post, I am going to share some of my recent musical discoveries with you, in hopes you can also find some encouragement in these awesome jams. Maybe you already know all these songs, but this is my blog and I love sharing new music with people. I'll stick to my top 5 at the moment. I'm about to go all music critic on yall. Get ready.

1. "Downtown" by Mackelmore. I cannot say enough good things about this song. I am full on obsessed. It is so catchy, well-written, and just epic. I don't even really like rap, but the old-school hip hop vibe in here is beyond fantastic. And the guy singing the chorus could not be more on point if he tried. The song is hilarious, the video is fantastic and it makes me want to go out and buy an $800 moped right NOW. It also makes me want to be in a parade real bad.


2. "Heartbeat" by Mat Kearney makes me want to get involved with a flash mob somewhere. Do people still do those? They should. To this wonderfully upbeat and happy place song. The video was filmed by the LA "River" which also makes me happy because living in LA was a good, good time of my life.


3. "I Feel You" by the Wonder Girls. KPOP, yall. You need to get into it if you haven't yet. Buzzfeed just did a few videos about it and while they were all completely ridiculous, it makes me happy to see Korean culture infiltrating America. Kpop has some GOOD jams, and this one is real catchy, and perfect for hairbrush lip syncing. Not actual singing because most of it is in Korean.


4. "We'll Meet Again" by Johnny Cash. I watched Stephen Colbert's new late night show while I was at home, which made me think about his last episode of "The Colbert Report," which made me look up the song that he sings at the end, which lead me to this Johnny Cash version of it. It's a fun song to sing along to, and seems especially fitting for me, as I left home again recently, for an indefinite amount of time. Vera Lynn was the original singer, and She and Him also does a really good cover.


5. "Fools Gold" by Fitz and the Tantrums. I was watching SNL reruns on VH1 and this commercial for Live at Daryll's House (which seems like an awesome jam session) kept coming on and after some intense online research, I figured out this band was singing one of the songs I really liked in it. It was actually a different song, "Moneygrabber," but I listened to some of their other stuff on YouTube and I like this song even more. Enjoy!


Ok, that's all for now! My battery is about to die out here on the Caffebene porch, so I'm going to pack it up and get some Korean bbq, yuuummmm. I'll try to be more consistent with posting, promise!

Dream big, people!