Why I Stand With Planned Parenthood

Time to get real, people. A departure from my usual stream of incessant babbling.

I have a million posts in my head I haven’t managed to put out yet, on a variety of subjects. Between my laziness and lack of a place to sit (see previous post), I get a lot of things started but never finish, or I feel like they aren’t ready to publish. Then, I remember how low the readership of this blog is, so the motivation to do anything is small. Also, sometimes the thought of some stellar thing I post gaining popularity both terrifies and exhilarates me. How awesome would it be for my brilliance to finally be recognized? But, how terrible would it be to be picked apart by millions of strangers? I’ve read the articles, I know how cruel people can be on things that go viral. For this reason, I usually don’t like to get into controversial issues because I don’t like arguing with people or, honestly, getting criticized. But, this issue is something I feel strongly about and I have finally focused and written down why.

I’ve had a hard time writing it. Trying to figure out how much to comment on recent events, what aspects of the story I should focus on, how much back story and fact checking I should do has been challenging. How do I tell my story without sounding condescending, overindulgent, whiny or worst of all, stupid? How much explanation do I need to give for my thoughts, feelings, opinions, and actions? Truthfully, none. I don’t owe anyone an explanation! It’s my life and my blog. But, I come from a conservative area, with lots of conservative friends that I don’t want to alienate or offend. And now, I live in an even more conservative country that is, in so ways, even more backward, and it’s scary to put yourself out there.

I also don’t like to get very political, mainly because I am woefully ignorant and uninterested in what is happening in Washington DC. I’m actually quite self-absorbed and have little interest in things that don’t involve me or my loved ones directly. This is probably a terrible way to live, but it keeps me from drowning in the world’s sorrows. I tend to get too involved in whatever is currently happening in my life; relationships, arguments, decisions, TV shows, whatever. It’s too stressful to put all that anxiety into the rest of the world’s problems as well.

But, I finally decided I have to tell MY story, with my thoughts and opinions and only briefly address the recent controversies surrounding PP. I have always had this need to constantly explain myself to people and talk as much as possible (people that have read this blog before are well aware). Now, living in a country where my language is a minority, it’s harder to find outlets to do that, so here I am on my blog letting it all out. I am using my blog because I think it's pretty un-helpful to change profile pictures, and I need WAY more than 140 characters to express myself. I also often feel the need to apologize for my opinions, but this is my blog and I want to tell my story and that is what I’m going to do, with all its uncomfortable, yet surprisingly uninteresting, details.

The short version:

Planned Parenthood was there when I needed it. And no, I didn’t have an abortion.

The long version:

Planned Parenthood impacted my life in a very real way, and I want people to understand that PP helps all kinds of people, in all kinds of situations, including people you probably know.

I graduated from college in 2007, and held three different full time jobs in the five years following. None of them offered me benefits, or any kind of health care plan.  The only doctor care (outside of “family planning”) I had from 2007 until I moved to Korea in 2012 was at a “doc in the box” when I got strep throat, and when I gave myself swimmer’s ear. I knew I had strep throat, but couldn’t get the medicine to cure it without a prescription, which requires a doctor and a five minute throat swab that changes color if you have strep. The visit cost over $100 and a day’s worth of pay, since I was an hourly worker. Regular health care didn’t really seem like an option for me during those five years.

Luckily, during those years, I went without any major medical emergencies or concerns. While living in South Carolina, I, for whatever reason, never thought about PP as place to go when I needed reproductive care. I had been taking “the pill” since high school, long before I ever needed it for actually “controlling birth,” if you know what I mean (I hadn’t had sex yet). I had a hormone imbalance and would only get my period once every couple of months. As convenient as it was not to have, it was also a little worrisome. A Virgin Mary situation was just as terrifying as actually being pregnant, so I got put on the pill to get myself regular. So, like many others, I was using the pill for health reasons and not because I was having tons of pre-marital sex. But guess what, even if I was, that’s my own damn business and no one has the right to tell me I can’t do that. (This is where interpretation of facts becomes a problem. Some people confuse the word “sin” with “illegal” and it causes controversy.) Eventually, many years later, I did start having sex responsibly, and the pill was a nice safety net for condoms, as well as continuing to be a healthy way to keep me regular.

Once I was kicked off my parent’s health care plan after graduation, I tried just not taking the pill for a few months. I had broken up with my boyfriend and since birth control with no insurance was absurdly expensive, I decided condoms were enough for the infrequent sexual encounters I was having. But, my periods became irregular again, so I had to look into other options. Obviously for health reasons, but also because the Virgin Mary theory wasn’t plausible anymore, and the absolute last thing I wanted in life was a baby. So, I started going to the public health clinic in Mount Pleasant and was able to get free birth control that way, because I didn’t make enough money to get real insurance. To do this, you have to answer a lot of questions and fill out a lot of paperwork proving you need it. The details are hazy, because it was a long time ago, but I remember it being a fairly easy process, though fairly time consuming and impersonal because the people that work there have A LOT of other responsibilities and patients demanding their attention. As someone with a car, no children to care for and a flexible work schedule, it was fairly easy for me to make these visits. I imagine this is not the case for all, if not most people going to the free health clinic.

At this point in my life, I did occasionally use the pill to its full potential. It was never on a regular basis (I had a dry spell that lasted a year), and it was always with condoms (remember, young people, the pill doesn’t prevent STIs!) But, I wanted to stay regular and at least keep that part of my body healthy. If I only wanted to not get pregnant, I would have just used condoms because they are a lot cheaper and you don’t have to remember to take them every day, or go back every month for a refill.

I was receiving Medicare (NOT Medicaid) in SC for “family planning” while I lived there. They are very specific about the wording and the amount of free things you can receive while on this sort of government assistance, so any other health issue not involving my reproductive parts were not covered and therefore went unchecked for a number of years. In 2009, I got jobs in Italy and Greece for the summer and didn’t have birth control, or a period (or any sex) for those 3 months. When I came home from that, I went back to the free health clinic for the few months I was home before I decided to move to Los Angeles.

When I moved to California, I had to figure out a new plan, because I obviously couldn’t keep using South Carolina’s family planning services on the other side of the country. I had gotten a full time job, again with no health benefits, but I still had that pesky hormone imbalance and wasn’t having regular periods. I also assumed (or maybe read somewhere) that going on and off the pill frequently wasn’t the smartest idea. Like a lot of people, I assumed Planned Parenthood was mainly for abortions and had never really thought of it as something I needed. I believe a friend suggested I use it for birth control, so I decided to give it a try. I went to the one on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, which is NOT a low-income area (I recently read a comment on fb that said this is where ALL PPs are located) and is in fact, one of the wealthiest areas in the country. So for people that only believe PP is for poor people making bad decisions, you’re very wrong. 

My first appointment, and every appointment after was a wonderful experience, as much as gynecologist visits can be. No one likes the cold duck lips, or telling total strangers their complete sordid history, but I never felt judged, uncomfortable or unsafe while I was there. My only complaint is that The Wendy Williams show was always on TV in the lounge, and she is crazy annoying. The staff there was always completely professional, helpful and nice. I got a pap smear, a check-up, birth control and a bag full of condoms, all for free. I actually tried to turn down the bag of condoms (my first year in LA was another year long dry spell), but they insisted. While the unused bag was a depressing reminder of my pathetic love life, they did come in handy for my luckier friends.

On my second visit to PP, my pap smear came back irregular, so I had to go back for a follow up. I was on the other side of the country, with no sort of family support within a thousand miles, hardly any savings and was understandably FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Once again, the doctors, nurses and staff were incredibly nice and comforting. I distinctly remember feeling safe and cared for, and had all my questions answered and concerns addressed. To my relief, it turned out there was nothing wrong and was told irregularities commonly show up on pap smears and there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. Had things not been ok, I have no doubt PP would have helped me through the next steps, however scary and expensive they may have been. (When I moved to Korea, health care again became a regular part of my life, and nothing else has popped up, so I’m assuming the doctor was correct in telling me I’d be fine.) She did recommend an HPV vaccination, just to be safe and I got one, I believe, for a very nominal fee.

Planned Parenthood was the only form of health care I received during the rest of my time in LA (about 2 years total), and was the most thorough and engaging doctor’s visit I had for the first five years of my post college graduate life.  I thankfully did not have any other major health issues, strep throat or otherwise. I had huge bag full of condoms, free birth control and a clean bill of reproductive health. I really cannot say enough good things about my Planned Parenthood experience. For a lot of young women in my demographic, reproductive health is essential, if not the only health related issues they face. For me personally, not getting pregnant was a priority, but so was having a normal, healthy menstrual cycle. It’s different for every woman, and once again, it’s really not anyone’s damn business why they do or don’t need the pill, or any other method of birth control.

When I moved back to South Carolina, I wanted to go to the PP there, since it involved a lot less paperwork and hassle than the free health clinic. Unlike PP, the clinic required an appointment, paperwork, waiting and documentation. I remember going there early in the day because I was worried it would be crowded, like the one in LA usually was. (Side not: it’s not called Planned Parenthood in Charleston, but is listed on the PP website. It also doesn’t offer abortion services.) But, I walked in to an empty waiting room and was told that instead of transferring the records from California, I needed to see the doctor and have him or her write a prescription for pills because I was a new patient. I was also told everything would cost about $200, and as an unemployed person who had just moved across the country, this seemed like an exorbitant amount of money. Especially for something I had been receiving for FREE at the SAME company months before. Turns out, the PPs in the red state of SC don’t receive any government funding and is therefore rendered pretty damn useless to any one that actually needs it. Fortunately, I didn’t have children, I had the resources to find other options and I know if I had asked, my parents would have helped me get what I needed. Not everyone has these basic luxuries and it infuriates me their access to healthcare is limited because the conservatives running that state have decided it’s not important for underprivileged people to get healthcare for WHATEVER reason they want. If they want to have tons of sex with strangers, fine. If they are married and want to limit the amount of kids they’re having, fine. If they are single and want to make sure everything is covered if they decide to partake in some adult activities, FINE. Or maybe they are a god-fearing virgin that just wants to make sure all their private bits are functioning normally every year, FUCKING FINE.  There are probably a ton of reasons I have never even considered or heard of because I couldn’t possibly know about all the challenges and hardships people face every day. I would imagine that most politicians (and rich conservatives) don’t either.

I moved to Korea shortly after that, and have experienced the best and most convenient health care of my life in this country for the past four years (that is for another post), so I honestly don’t know what things are like now, with Obamacare. I know most people in my home state complain about it constantly, but I sincerely hope it has made things easier for people like me, and especially for people not as fortunate as myself.

So THAT, my friends, is why I support Planned Parenthood and will continue to do so. I cannot stress enough that this is my OWN personal experience. I am an inherently privileged person, in nearly all aspects of my life, including reproductive health. I have never been faced with major health obstacles, or decisions. My journey, while not always convenient or affordable, has been fairly smooth and straightforward. I’ve never experienced abuse, the consequences or effects of it, or the fear that comes with having limited or no options for my health. I really cannot imagine what it is like to be in such circumstances. Now, I still live in Korea, which has its own set of feminist issues, but at least has easy and affordable health care. Even without insurance, I recently saw a doctor, afterhours and got prescription medication for less than $50 and in under 30 minutes. I realize this healthcare plan is not necessarily a reality for the US, but I would like to think it can at least make some progress, especially for women’s health issues. Here, you can walk into a pharmacy and get birth control over the counter for about $5. Pregnancy and abortions are an entirely different and unfortunate story, but birth control is fairly easy.

My hope is, if you managed to read this whole thing, that, if you didn’t already know, Planned Parenthood does a lot of great things for people of every race, age and socioeconomic status that need it for a number of different reasons, all of which are personal and not for a politician (man OR woman) to decide. It does A LOT more than provide abortions to promiscuous women making bad decisions (as so often portrayed in the media.) In fact, abortions make up a very small percentage of the services they provide. Also, there is a law that prohibits using money from the federal government towards abortions and most abortions, even at PP, actually still cost quite a bit of money. Even if you do decide to go there for an abortion, they discuss all the options that come with a pregnancy: abortion, adoption and parenting. A woman can decide on any one of those and they will help her with all of them, with no judgement. I personally have never been faced with the choice of having an abortion. The stress and emotional turmoil that comes with making that decision shouldn’t be furthered by a lack of safe and affordable options. Furthermore, defunding PP is not going to stop abortions. Surely people realize that defunding will just mean cutting off the only source of healthcare for a lot of people that need it. PP also provides cancer screenings, family planning, safe sex education and basic reproductive health care for both men and women. People of all ages and genders go to PP to become educated, to get help and to stay healthy.

If anything, please stop and think about why you want Planned Parenthoods to be shut down. If you already agree with me, fantastic! You can use these ideas, or your even better ones, to help educate the haters. If it’s based solely on the idea that people believe abortions are murder, please educate yourself further on who PP services, how it provides help and hope to people that need it, and how it shutting down would affect a community less fortunate than the one you live in. It’s quite difficult to have a discussion with people that believe abortion is murder. I personally don’t believe that, science and the law agree with me, but I am not really here to convince people to change their religious beliefs. There really isn’t a middle ground when two people can’t agree on what is fact and what isn’t. In my personal experiences, it’s difficult to argue with someone that leans very far one way, on any scale, about any situation. People completely immersed in one set of beliefs have their own set of vocabulary and ideas they see as facts and if you don’t also believe their “facts,” it’s impossible to find common ground. The internet further complicates things, because people have access to studies, facts and figures supporting whatever they want to believe, because someone else also probably believes it and literally anyone can get on the web and claim whatever they want as “facts.” Information can be skewed, statistics can be stacked, studies can be fluffed, and nothing is real. Also, people can hide behind their keyboard and can say whatever incredibly cruel, unethical and untrue hurtful things they want. People believe what they want to believe, and I’ve found it’s rare to convince them otherwise, myself included. No one wants to be proved wrong. It means the entire time before, you were being an idiot and no one likes that feeling.

But, I also hope for all people to have access to the affordable, safe and convenient health care services that Planned Parenthood offers. I make a small (unemployment limits my spending) monthly contribution to PP, because I am in a more financially secure place in my life. I also have easy access to health care (for all my bits) and I no longer have to worry about how I’m going to keep my cycle healthy and regular. I do worry that when I eventually move back to America, PP will no longer be an option for me, or anyone else. If I can’t find a job right away, or something comes up before my insurance plan begins. Those worries are for another time, but I sincerely hope people realize how vital PP is to a lot of people, for so many reasons…none of which are any of your business.

Dream big people!