Zumba with Judas

So I just got around to watching Lady Gaga on Ellen last week (I'm behind, I know) but it seriously is cracking me up! First of all, Lady Gaga is beyond ridiculous. I have a whole arsenal of opinions on Lady Gaga, but watching her on Ellen makes me want to like her. BUT- she takes herself so damn seriously, I can't deal with it. She seems nice, and kind of funny, but she's my age and I just have a hard time believing that she is really and truly that ridiculous. Ok, whatever, I'll stop. But seriously. Anyway, her dance on Ellen reminds me so much of Zumba and it's just very funny. Especially since she had on some sort of pleather disco grandma outfit.

Ok, enough talk about LG. I really love Zumba. It's totally awesome and you should try if it you like having fun and being awesome.

MY VACATION STARTS TOMORROW!!!! I have lots of scattered thoughts. Let's go....

First, I never talked about the Royal Wedding. OMG-I fucking LOVED it. I didn't think I would be so into it and I wasn't all that excited, but Friday night, after Six Flags, I came home and literally watched like, 3 hours of news dedicated only to the wedding. I know what you're thinking. But I don't care. I was so enthralled and cried like, half the time. I just think Kate is SO pretty and the whole thing was just perfect. I mean, come on! The story is literally every girl's dream. Ok, excluding lesbians, losers and non-dreamers. But seriously! She's a commoner, they meet at school, fall in love, and now she's a PRINCESS. It really can happen! I'm just saying, Prince Harry is still available. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Next up: Osama. He's dead. People have lots of opinions about it. Facebook got a little out of control but things seem to be back to normal now. I would just like to say, that people with their "I don't rejoice in the death of the wicked" and all that mess...are just a little bit on the presumptuous side for me. But thanks for sharing anyway. On the other side of that, some people are a little over zealous and just as ridiculous. I think it's great people have closure about 9/11. I also like when big things happen and people come together, like at Ground Zero. But then I'm sad when they talk to idiot college kids, that were like, 5 when 9/11 happened and they're like, "This is so awesome! It's like, a total party down here!" Jesus, these were seriously the only people you could find to give an opinion on this really important historic moment? But also, I was just as dumb in college so moving on.

Random list:

-My 99 cents store shaving cream RULES. I bought it like, literally, the first week I was here (January 2010) and it is STILL GOING STRONG. For real! Best 99 cents I have ever spent. Still making my legs silky smooth, 16 months later.

-I do not think the New York Times Best Seller List is indicative of quality writing. I don't have too much regard for what the rest of America thinks is good. That is for another post.

-I love when Ellen helps people and gives them cars and stuff. It makes me want to help people. I can't give away cars but I was really nice to this really annoying woman on the phone today so I think that's a step in the right direction.

-I lost 12.4 pounds so far! But, I have also developed a recent obsession with Twizzler Nibs (that's their real name) and am worried this, along with the upcoming vacation, is going to set me back a few pounds. So, feel free to send inspiring messages over the next few days. Things like, Don't be a fatty!, Stop! Put those Nibs down!, Eat some veggies fool!, Do you really want to eat that? Probably not!, You have 28 pounds to go, go on a walk! Or, whatever you think will help.

-I think it's time for a career change in the near future. Like, maybe September. I am feeling the need to do something productive and meaningful. We'll see how that goes. I'll keep you posted.

This is enough. Sorry for the nonsense. Vacation starts tomorrow! I have to call back the Santa Monica police (long story, I'm not in trouble, no worries), then I'm going to the beach, then Chelsea Lately, then packing FOR MIAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream big people! (I wish I knew how to say that in Cuban)