Goodbye to You

Such a pity to say, goodbye to yoo-uuu. Thank you Scandal, for summing up perfectly my thoughts on people that suck. The song is really more about an ex lover, but I've found it fits for a lot of situations.

Someone once told me that being a "cut them loose and don't look back" (there's a better idiom for it, but I can't remember what it is) kind of person is a Leo thing. And I was all, YEAH! I'm totally a Leo! But now, maybe I'm not? I don't know, it's all very confusing.

Anywho. Today I was thinking about how upset I get when people let me down. And how it's my tendency to give them a whole bunch of chances and once they fail me enough times (there's no magic number), I just cut them out completely. It goes in stages, because I kind of keep wanting to give them chances. I start off with one last attempt, and send out a final call. And then, if that goes unanswered, I stop calling/messaging/carrier pigeoning/emailing, whatever other means of communication I've tried to to contact them by. Then I hide them on my news feed because I don't care what is going on in their lives. I also stop pursuing conversation about that person in real people world (ie-not facebook). Like when I talk to mutual friends and they're like, oh I talked to so and so the other day, I'm like, ok. You know, instead of saying, oh yeah? How are they doing? I haven't heard from them in a while. Those sort of niceties would be in stage one. Stage three is harsh and less socially appropriate. I do, however, try to refrain from shit talking (key word: try) because usually the mutual friend is not on the same page. In fact, no one is ever on the same page as me because I am a crazy person. You may think you are, but trust me, you aren't. Because I keep my horrible thoughts to myself. Anyone that has ever listened to me complain (everyone I've ever talked to) probably thinks otherwise, but I keep a lot in. It's for the best.

So moving on. After ignoring them and being disinterested in their current happenings, I delete them out of my phone. Then, for the big finale, I get drunk and defriend (unfriend?) them on facebook. A person is truly disliked in my world if they are defriended on facebook. I know, has a lamer sentence ever been written? But what the fuck ever, it's 2011, a movie about facebook is WINNING AWARDS (I'm still baffled on the fact that it was even made) and I'm a passive aggressive bitch. And watch out, because if my distaste for someone goes past just mild disappointment and has moved into full blown dislike (hate is such a strong word), I will de-tag and/or delete all photographic evidence of them. I will, literally, cut someone out of my life. I pretend they don't exist so they can't hurt my feelings anymore. And they'll probably never notice because they didn't care in the first place.

So there you go. Chances are, if you're reading this, you are not one of those people, so don't worry. And obviously, there are varying degrees on what it takes for me to start down this path of dislike with someone. It takes a lot of times of being ignored, actually and like, never EVER hearing from someone. I don't want to make people feel bad, but I also don't like being the only person that is putting effort into a relationship..of any sort, romantical or otherwise. Actually, the biggest thing is that I really don't like feeling stupid or like I'm being annoying. When people don't respond to me, I get all self-conscious and get to thinking they don't really like me and I'm bothering them or there has to be some reason why they won't answer me. Once or twice, whatever, but once it becomes the norm, I have to cut them loose. The sad part is knowing they gave up on me. Because if any of the said people ever tried to re-establish contact, I would answer in a second. They wouldn't even have to apologize, they would just have to say hello.

Wow. Sorry I got all melodramatic. It was just on my mind today. Also, I watched a wedding on TV and listened to country music, which always makes me a little too thoughtful for my own good. Also, I wanted to let it out. Writing is another passive aggressive way to get over being angry with people. I'm frustrated because I can't make people do what I want. Not in a bossy, make me dinner kind of way, but a CALL ME. PLEASE LIKE ME kind of way. Desperate, I know. Whatever, I've got Julio and we'll be down by the schoolyard.

Dream big people! And don't worry about me, I keep in touch with lots of awesome people and they always make up for the suck people. Most of them are just really far away and not available for hanging out. And hugs. Jeez, stopping now. I am getting pathetic. Dream big! Yay!