If it's meant to be, we'll meet again

Y'all. Mine and Ellen's relationship is going to be JUST like Justin Bieber's and Usher's. It is going to be magical and awesome. Just like theirs, we met once, nothing came of it but we WILL meet again and good things will happen. Then, in just a few short years, there will be a documentary about my life which will also be awesome. And millions of teenage girls will flock to the theater to see it. It won't be in 3D, but it will be bad ass. Haven't decided on a name yet. I'm not ruling out Usher being involved.

Anyway. So I'm watching the Grammy's. And here is what is blowing my mind:

Lady Gaga is a year younger than me. And Justin Bieber is 8 (EIGHT) years younger than me.

I mean, damn. Way to make me feel like a loser.

Actually, that's kind of a lie. It doesn't really make me feel like a loser, it's actually just very strange to me. Mainly because Lady Gaga is so freaking weird. Don't get me wrong, she is really talented. But, wtf is going on with her? I just think it's so bizarre that she and I are pretty much the same age but are not really living in the same...um, universe? I just was thinking, does she have friends? By friends, I mean, people like me that she talks to and asks their opinion on things. I mean, can you imagine if you had this kind of weird friend and then she ended up being Lady Gaga? And what if you actually kept in touch with you? Like, what would you do if you got a text that was like, hey...I'm thinking of wearing a meat dress this weekend. What do you think? Too much? (she probably appreciates proper English in texts, like I do..no u crap). Then you get a picture text and you're like, ummmm. I don't know about this. And then, later, you see her on the red carpet and you're all, seriously??? I TOLD her the meat dress was ridiculous! And you and your other friends (they were in on it as well) are like, she never listens! The wax dress was waaay more flattering. And then she texts you again and is like, Grammys: Egg. Thoughts? And you're all, whattteevvverrr LG, why do you even ask me anymore?

And then there's the Biebs, who y'all know I love but he is 16! And performing at the Grammys! That's nuts! I was most definitely not doing anything as cool at 16. In fact, I will probably go my entire life without ever performing at the Grammys. Sad, but true. Not unless lip syncing cover bands become acceptable one day. If that ever happens, this girl has got a career.

In general, I think most musicians are a little on the weird side. I just don't really get it. You can sing and you have talent, you don't really need to be a total weirdo on top of that. I guess having musical genius either entitles or encourages you to be a basket case in terms of how you dress and present yourself. Not that I would know. I have no talent. I have a real person job and if I were to show up at that job with a monocle, in an egg, wearing a cape or had cupcakes for boobs, I would probably get fired. Obviously, weird musicians are not in the same position as me. I just think famous people are SO far removed from the real world that they think it's ok and acceptable to be totally ridiculous.

In general, I tend to have more respect for people that get by on their talent and don't need an outfit or pyrotechnics to shock and awe. But, I guess you have to do something to get by in this crazy world we live in. For instance, Adele. She has an awesome voice and rocks in basic black. No fuss, no nonsense and she is amazing. I am super stoked about her new album coming out, anyone else?

Oh man, I have laughed so many times watching these Grammys. I'm going to stop now before I get to sucked in and start commenting on everything. Because there is just too much to comment on. But I will say this. An award that has Katy Perry and Mumford and Sons in the same category makes me question the validity of these awards. Seriously people.

[Sorry you didn't win, Biebster. Chin up. You're still super cute.]

Dream big people!