Fantabulous February!

Fantabulous February is Ellen's thing. My thing is: FUCK IT FEBRUARY! It's not suitable for day time TV, but guess what friends, I am not on day time TV (for now), so I'll do it all day! So here's what's going on during F it February: I am stepping up my Ellen game. I really want her to give me a job. She doesn't even have to put me on the show or tell anyone. Also, I'm trying reallllly hard not to whine about work. I am also doing all sorts of stupid shit when it comes to guys but I'm all, fuuuckkkk it! Looking like a moron is nothing new in my book, so I might as well just do what I want and stop caring about how boy retarded I am. Being cautious wasn't working, so I'll just go in the complete opposite direction. There's other stuff, but I don't remember it all right now. Even my brain is like, awww fuck it! Good job brain! There's going to be a lot of drinking going on in F.I.F. Pretty excited about it. (Don't worry, I'm drinking responsibly. As always.)

Um, people. GLEE is back. And it is out. of. control. I was going to live blog it but then I forgot and now I don't know if I can stand to watch it again. I'll just kind of half-ass it from where I am. It's awesome, but like, whhhhaaattt the hell is going on?! SOOO dramatic! Ohh wait-GAME CHANGER. Bills, Bills, Bills? You trifling....Holy crap, there needs to be way more fabulous 90s music. Such a great message to send to high schoolers. Ladies, is your hs sweetie not paying your bills for you?! Dump his sorry ass! Find a real man that can! Also, high school football is apparently the most dramatic thing EVERRRRR. Oh, sometimes I miss high school. Lastly, Sue Slyvester is insane. Seriously, she is getting to be beyond unbelievable. Can no one reel her in? Mama cannon has fibromyalgia? Lawd.

Ohhh man, I am loving all this inspirational talk. Does this really work? Probably. I mean, I get pumped just listening to good music, if I got an inspirational speech, god only knows what I'd be capable of. Yeah, look at that bully kid! He just got inspired and now he's out there dancing for his life! You still suck, bully kid, but good job. Annnd, fuck you DVR for not recording the last part. DVR, YOU are not part of Fuck It February. It's my thing. Back off!

Bah, ok, now I have to go watch the end online. It's 2011! How is my DVR not smart enough to record the entire show? Nonsense!

Dream big people! Dream of a world where DVRs have a brain and don't ruin your life by cutting the show short.