27 February 2009

The Pizza

So I'm ridiculous. In case you haven't caught on to that already, I am. And I'm going to explain why in this post.

First off, it's really quite amazing that I am feeling as fantastic as I am right now. Last week (just Friday, really) was a nightmare. Really. I'm pretending it didn't really happen...it was just a bad dream. So moving right along, I am feeling good today. I joined a gym, have I mentioned that? I think I did...maybe on my other blog, I don't remember. Anyways, so the gym is in the same shopping center as a pizza place called La Pizzeria. The pizza. Super creative, right? Anyways, I'm at the gym and this lady is talking about how good their pizza is because it's run by a family from Italy. The conversation moves on and we discuss how great the Twilight and Harry Potter books (both = awesome...though HP is better). Anywho, I leave and the sign catches my eye. I think, man, I really miss Italy. Also, I have been craving pizza lately. I ate at Brixx last week and had a piece of someone else's pizza (I had a salad) and it was REALLY good. That leads to the following train of thought: that family is from Italy...maybe they'll speak Italian with me!...I bet their pizza is as good as Brixx...don't do it fool, you just worked out!...but they're Italian!...ok, go, you can have it for lunch tomorrow. So in I go and I see a now hiring sign. And my ridiculous self asks the fabulous Italian woman running the cash register if they still need waitresses. WHAT was I thinking?! I know it would be taking on a little much, but in all honesty, I think I would really like it. I realized today how much I thrive on social interaction. And I get very little of that at the pee farm. First off, the people in there are not really people I want to be interacting with. Secondly, even if they are decent, I only interact with them for like, five minutes. Whoa tangent. Anyways, she just took my name and number and really didn't seem very interested in speaking Italian with me...so I just ordered a much too expensive pizza and waited. I also noticed all the cute boys that were working there. And while I was waiting, the people were making the pizza were speaking Italian and literally, my heart was hurting. I could feel it. I want to work there! The pizza was good! (Even though they left off my feta...but that's ok because my name was typed in as "jakee." Oh god, I miss Italy so bad).

That was a long paragraph, so I started a new one, even though I'm really on the same train of thought. I think part of the reason my heart was hurting was today I got the travel bug really bad. I FINALLY finished my TEFL course (95, bitches!) and I got an email about being a summer camp counselor overseas. And I literally almost screamed in happiness. I completely forgot about that option! And I am seriously GIDDY about the prospect of going to camp overseas. Camp is one of my most favorite things ever in life and going to camp overseas would, literally, be a dream come true. So yeah, keep your fingers crossed for me.

In addition to realizing how much I crave social interaction, I also re-affirmed how much happier I am when I have things to do. This past week I've had something to do every day and I am one happy lady today. And I am especially excited about the weeks to come because I am going to have LOTS of stuff to do! Hooray! Soccer starts again next week (JC and I are coaching again), I am taking an IMPROV class (I know, so fun right?), and I am starting some new volunteering program soon. Oh yeah, and I might have a part-time job at La Pizzeria. Which will subsequently lead to me going out with the hot boys that work there and/or the hot boys that will surely come in to eat. Oh yeah, and there is my new gym where I will be getting a new hot bod (to attract the hot boys) and there are always my crazy ass puppies. I think this set is my fave. They are cuddlers and I LOVE me some cuddling pups. Jack and Diane came on Pandora this afternoon and I could not stop smiling.

MAN. This post is long and random. But just a few more things. I have been seeing a lot of Jesus commercials on TV these days. What's up with that? They kind of creep me out. But my favorite was one I heard the other day that was a man screaming about how you need Jesus and how THERE IS NEVER A RECESSION IN THE LORD'S KINGDOM.

And I'll end on that. Thank you and goodnight. Grazie e buonosera.

Ok, wait. One more thing. What the FUCK is going on with Grey's Anatomy? I haven't been watching, but I just saw the end of it (it was a 30 Rock re-run) and apparently Denny is REAL?! What the hell?! I swear he died! I know he did! I watched it senior year and then had to go to class crying because it was such a depressing episode. Then I stopped watching after that because it stressed me out and gave me anxiety. So I'm confused. But now I'm watching Dance Crew and it's making me happy...they dancers are wearing hot pink pants. I want some. Speaking of dancing (sorry, this just keeps getting longer), 1. I REALLY want to go dancing 2. My hero, Belinda Carlisle is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. I don't watch, but I will at least make sure to find out if she goes on or not. You should too.

Ok for real. Basta. (That means enough).

See, completely ridiculous?

26 February 2009

Really?

Well, this is depressing. There was a list of "fallacies" about men and relationships today on vsb.com and this was one of them:

4. fallacy: “men love funny women”


truth: men love women with a sense of humor and the ability to “get” and appreciate jokes…not necessarily make them. “funny” women with a endless staccato of jokes, witty insults, and clever comebacks usually remind men of other men, regardless of how attractive they are.


summary: although we love liz lemon, we think shes drier than eraser dust

And that makes me depressed. Because I am funny. Or so I've been told. I mean, I would use funny in a list of adjectives should you ask me to describe myself. And now this. Maybe this explains all that unrequited love I was talking about some posts back. But seriously, really? Why is this so? Obviously, I don't think (at least I'm desperately hoping) this is the opinion of every guy in the whole world, but it kind of makes sense. Look at female comedians, most of them are lesbians or are single. I'm not really aspiring to be a female comedian, but Ellen and Tina Fey (aka Liz Lemon) are two awesome ladies, in my opinion. And I would definitely not mind following their career path. I wonder if they mean Liz Lemon the character though, because she has more problems than just being funny. Drier than eraser dust? Ouch. She is a little crazy though. But Tina Fey is married...to a man...so maybe there is hope for me. Or maybe I'm not really funny, I just think I am and the reason I get no love lies elsewhere. Or maybe I'm just going to have start being un-funny and the guys will come running.

Anyways, just wanted to share really quick. This just made me go, boo. Sad. I thought the other things on the list sounded pretty true, so this one is probably right. Although I'm not necessarily sure if I decide whether or not I'm going to sleep with someone in the first sixty seconds of meeting them. That thought really doesn't cross my mind at all. Maybe subconsciously. Who knows. And as for #6, I think that is DEAD ON. Guys (most of them) are afraid to break girls hearts. We cry and carry on and blah blah, it's a mess. It's tough. It's kind of nice, in a way, that boys are so concerned. But in the end, the girl still gets hurt and no one really wins. I don't know if there is a way to win, really.

Ok, well I'm going to give not being funny a try. This is probably going to be easy since I'm always in a bad mood and who's funny when they're in a bad mood? Not this girl. Also, I rarely talk to boys on any type of romantic level, so this should not be a problem. I will keep you updated.

PS-I will still be coveting Ellen and Tina Fey's jobs. I would still like to be on TV, even if it means I'm sad and lonely because men don't like me. I would make enough money to pay them to like me.

24 February 2009

Little Ditty...

'bout JACK AND DIANE....
AH!!!I know...so so cute. I had to look up how to spell ditty.

This is Diane. She kind of looks like a chihuahua. I definitely had to look up how to spell chihuahua. What a ridiculous word.
And here's Jack. He is very manly, even though he is afraid of the cat at my dad's house. Don't tell anyone.
So anyways, they are, of course, super cute. But, like all puppies they are CRAZY! And so annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death. But I do NOT love them peeing ALL over my floor. Honestly, I don't mind the poop as much because I can just pick it up and be done..but the pee lingers. And, it's harder to find, so sometimes I step in it without realizing it was there. I know, SICK. And, poop doesn't make the floor sticky. It just smells worse. And I realize I have a ton of pictures of dogs in my bed. Does that make me weird? I don't know, but these puppies LOVE to cuddle and I, for one, am not going to stop them. These are also harder to get pics of because they are super hyper and always running around like crazy pups. Which they are.

So yeah...there you go. Anyone want to adopt them? How can you resist really? Everyone asks me how I could possibly give them back after a few weeks. And straight up, I cry every time. However, I can't lie, I am always SO ready. They are so cute but super annoying. The worst is in the morning because they don't like to sleep past 5:30 or so. Even on the weekend! I know, why don't they want to sleep in? Silly puppies. And it's cold and so early, I usually just let them out of the cage and of course they pee on the floor. I'm so lazy But I dont' want them to wake up my roommates with their whining. But I'm beginning to be less concerned with my roomies because they both suck. So yeah. But that is for a whole new post.

Well then, nothing else too exciting going on. I feel like there was something else, but I can't think of it. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

Little ditty...bout Jack and Diane...two American puppies, peeing as much as they can.

Like my new version? I know, I should be a song writer.




PS-notice the new bedspread? Yeah, they peed all over my other two, and I had to borrow one. That is how much I love them.

21 February 2009

Crazy

Sometimes I really think I'm crazy. I just gave back the other puppies. And I just got through saying, man, I was REALLY ready to give them back because they were driving me crazy! And then the shelter called and asked if I would like to take some more puppies. And what did my crazy ass say? YES PLEASE! And now, here I sit, with them running around, growling at each other, pooping on the floor, whining like little monsters, and annoying the shit out of me. Oh god, they are so cute though! Jack and Diane. I know, more great names. I don't know, they just come to me. It's a gift I guess. Pictures will come as soon as I remember what I did with my USB thingy. We did have a mini-puppy crisis last night though. It was not good. I decided I would cut their nails myself since they were crazy long and I didn't think it would be that hard. And it really wasn't...until I got to the LAST on and Jack moved and I cut too far. Dogs have veins in their nails, so if you cut too far, it bleeds. A lot. And it takes a long time to make it stop. And so I was freaking out because he had been bleeding for almost 30 minutes and I make a rash decision to drive all the way out to North Charleston to the 24 hour emergency shelter. I'm pretty sure there is one closer..in fact, I know there is now because my dad told me. Where was he last night you ask? I don't know, he didn't answer any of my THREE phone calls. Anyways, I get my neighbor to ride out there with me (it's like, 20 minutes away) and of COURSE when we get there, he stops bleeding. Of course! I wait to make sure it's stopped for good and then I come on home. What a fun little trip. And by fun, I mean completely unnecessary and annoying. But really, I'm just glad my buddy Jack is ok. He is doing fine and currently eating one of my shoes. Awesome. Oh, and you are supposed to use super glue to clot the nail. Just in case you ever cut a dog's nails too short. You never know.

So yeah, after my ridiculous night, I had a equally ridiculous day at work that involved driving back and forth downtown three times and doing a DNA test on a baby that was not even 24 hours old. So so fun. But I joined a gym this week and I actually went this afternoon. On a Friday. Who would ever thought. Also, soccer starts next week and I'm kind of excited. Apparently the kids are too, so that's always a good thing.

Well, more puppy news to come I'm sure. Right now they are knawing on my comforter, which I'm sure is very tasty.

14 February 2009

Unrequited Love is such a Bitch


HAHAHA! I love it! And unrequited love is THE story of my life, so I think this cake...cookie? was made especially for me. Seriously, it is beyond ridiculous the things boys have put me through. But somehow, I'm still standing. And I'm ok with it. And I definitely don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for those boys. Ya heard?

So yeah, basically I am not bitter about Valentine's Day. I have had two realllly awkward Valentine's (they came at the beginning of relationships...or should I say relationSHITS...bahahah, thanks Dane Cook) and zero good ones and I am doing just fine without having a Valentine this year. The only thing I was kind of sad about was not being able to buy a cute card at Target. I know, I am so selfless...it's ridiculous. But for real, they have such cute stuff! And I am a sucker for cute stuff...I want to buy it for someone else. But in all honesty, boys don't really appreciate cute stuff, so maybe it's best I don't waste my money on things that go unappreciated. And I know Valentine's is a big, stupid, commercial holiday that was created by card companies and as a single woman, I am supposed to be angry and bitter and cry my lonely self to sleep. However, I see it more as an excuse to tell people you love that you love them. They forget sometimes. True story: I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day the other day and in my pathetic self, the thought that no one cared about me literally crossed my mind (I tend to get overdramatic when I'm hungry and people are mean to me at work...and that was the day I had to give the puppies back). But then I got home and I had gotten two Valentine's Day cards in the mail and it was a lovely reminder that people do, in fact, love me. :)

OH yeah! I saw the Vagina Monologues at the College of Charleston last night. I had mixed feelings. First off, let me just say that I think Vday is one of the greatest organizations ever and I want so badly to work for them. There are so many things that, as a woman, blow my mind. I don't think things are completely equal for us ladies here in the United States, but the atrocities that women suffer in other countries is absolutely appalling. Especially in times of war. Every year they have a spotlight monologue and this year it was for the women of the Congo. And it is absolute insanity what these poor women have to suffer through. I am so so SO grateful to be a woman here in the US, in this day and age. What women are capabale of doing and what they have already done is so amazing. And how women, under the most horrific of circumstances, perserve and manage to make a life for themselves and their families is so incredible. Men underestimate and underappreciate women so very much...it's very disheartening.

Hm, I am kind of rambling. I am having trouble articulating the passion that comes with this cause. But it's big. Humonguous really. Eve Ensler is awesome.

Anyways, as for the actual performance...I have never actually seen it from the audience since I've always been in it. So it was a new perspective. I did enjoy it though, it's so entertaining and it's so fun to watch people that have never seen it react. However, my selfish side came out a little. The Vag Mons have such a special place in my heart from PC and it's hard to seperate MY Vag Mons from other people's. And My Angry Vagina is MY monologue and obviously, I was a pretty harsh critic on the girl that did it. She did a good job though.

Ok, she talked a little too fast and had really bad hair. There. I said what I really feel. I don't really know how I did since I never saw myself, but in my head, I was awesome.

I could probably go on about Vday for ever and ever. So I'll stop myself before I get out of control. In closing, tell people you love that you love them. Tell a women she's awesome. Go see the Vag Mons if you haven't yet. Enlighten yourself. And have a very Happy Valentine's Day.

12 February 2009

Ciao ciao Bella e Notte

I had to give the puppies back today. :( It was bittersweet. I was super tired of them waking me up at 5 in the morning, peeing all over my damn floor and especially tired of them fighting and in general, being really loud when I wanted them to be quiet. But they were SO dang cute! I will miss them. But, the vet said I did a "fabulous" job with them. So go me. Because I thought I wasn't doing anything right. Apparently I am practically the puppy whisperer. And, oh my gosh, they got so freaking big! They are seriously going to be HUGE ass dogs. One of my friends might adopt Bella, so that would be awesome. We'll see. I hope she always remembers who her REAL mom is though (me). Now, let's honor them with a slide show. Please enjoy. And sorry some of the pics are sideways. I forgot to fix them before I downloaded them and now I don't feel like re-doing it. Also, there are 145 pics...so prepare yourself.


Also, here are some videos of them being super cute. I don't know if you can stand it.



The water was freezing!!!



And yes, that is me making those freaky noises. Sorry if I creep you out. I kind of creep myself out.

So anyways, I think a puppy break will be good for me...but I hope I get some new ones soon. They make life so much better...and cuter! And, everyone loves me more too! It's great! I wanted to take them to bars and stuff to attract guys, but I thought that might just be a little too much. So I'll just try the beach when it gets warmer.

One last thing. I know it's on the slideshow, but you might not have made it that far (it's like, #104)...but this is my favorite from the other day: Ok favorite two...




Isn't the beach the most fabulous place ever? Yes, I think so too.

10 February 2009

Dance Dance

So I thought this was super awesome. Only the first two minutes or so. I don't know why it's so long...but you can keep watching because it's ellen and she's awesome and my favorite. But, I was really just talking about the dancers.



How freaking cool are they?! I am so in love with coordinated dances. Hello, that is why I'm obsessed with cheesy ass dance movies like Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and Step Up, Step Up 2 and Stomp the Yard. First off, learning the main dance in DDHN is one of my life goals. All I need is a super cheesy Cuban (any Latino would work I think..as long as he can dance and has a cute accent) and I am set. And I realllly want to go to go a club and see a dance off like in Step Up. Do things like that really happen? God, that would be so awesome. And I also really really REALLY want to go to a step show! I know I would be the lamest, most gooberest, whitest person there but I would not even give a shit. I think step is so freaking awesome and wish so so bad I could do it. I also really want to go to a Drumline-esq show. I know those exist, but I just don't know when or where. If you hear of anything, let me know. Corey was supposed to take me to a step and/or drum show (b/c he lives in Atlanta and is black, so of course I figured he would know where to go) but he sucks and is all talk and no action...and we don't speak anymore...so that is not happening. How sad. I don't think Charleston has that kind of stuff going on. But I wouldn't really know...out of the very few friends I have down here, a very small percentage of them are black. Am I supposed to say black? I don't know. I think it's ok though, so I'm sticking with it. African-American is too long to type every time. Again, I would ask someone, but my go-to person is gone.

So anyways, if any of you lovely people hear of a throw down somewhere, hook me up because a dance off would make.my.life.

Peace up. C town down.

05 February 2009

Color Me Crazy

Isn't that a fabulous saying? Yes, I thought so too.

So. I was browsing through CNN.com this morning. And came across this story:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/04/freezing.death.folo/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
And now I'm confused. And probably going to hell for having this opinion. But I don't really care at the moment because this day has sucked ass so far (it's 10:00 in the morning) and why not just add fuel to the fire? I wish I could figure out how to put the whole article on here..bu I don't feel like getting that fancy right now..so just click on the link and read it.

Ok. So here are my thoughts:

It's terrible that this man died. It's terrible when most people die (I say most because sometimes terrible people need to die...like Hitler), and I'm sure this man was a very nice, lovely person who did not deserve to suffer at the hands of hypothermia.

However. He did not pay his electricity bill. He owed $1,000. I'm pretty sure it's a standard policy if you don't pay your bills, your electricity gets cut off. Same with water, cable, etc. So I don't understand why people are blaming the electricity company for his death and calling it "unforgivable." It's not like they just randomly cut off his heat because they didn't like him and were like, screw you old man. He wasn't discriminated against or treated unfairly...he was treated like everyone else that doesn't pay their bills. And he clearly had enough money to pay since he is allegedly leaving the local hospital $600,000. Surely he could have dipped into his savings to pay his bills. And people's electricity gets cut off all the time. Are all deaths and/or ailments related to cold going to be the fault of companies for not giving people that don't pay power? (Is that a double negative? Hm)

There are some other random things as well. His nephews and neighbors are appalled and shocked that this happened. The man was NINETY-THREE years old. Number one, why is he living by himself and number two, they are now all of the sudden so concerned about him..why was no one checking on him when it was freezing ass cold outside? And furthermore, surely his poor man noticed it was getting a little chilly in his house. He could have called the company or left for somewhere warmer...a neighbor's house..the grocery store..Starbucks..whatever. The nephew is saying the company should have treated this guy differently, they should have noticed he was 93, made note of his previous payment history and made direct contact with him to see what was up. Where on your electic bill does it say your age? And isn't that how most deliquient bill payers start off...they were paying their bills and then they weren't? What would have made his stand out? I think the nephew should have been a little more observant and checked on his uncle. Maybe he was mad because he knew he wasn't getting any of his money. The article says the company stopped the practice of cutting off power to people that don't pay. Because that makes sense. People don't pay their bills..but they still get power. Well, I don't really feel like paying for my groceries, but I should be able to eat. So when I die of starvation, will someone please sue a grocery store in my honor for not giving me free food?

I read a comment from someone that said to protest this man's death, he was not going to pay his bill either. And when they call him to say something, he is going to make sure they know what "jackasses" they are. Good plan dude. And I bet that guy is going to be super pleased when his bill starts going up to cover the cost of people getting free electricity.

Don't get me wrong. I think it's awful that this happened. But is it really the electricity company's fault? I think not. Like most things, it is a combination of unfortunate circumstances and people are just looking for someone to blame.

In general, the news is ridiculous. Other really important headlines on CNN.com included a Korean woman that failed her driving test 771 times and how Donald Trump thinks we are in a depression. Both very important stories. I also love how Columbia police are now lauching an investigation to see whether or not Michael Phelps inhaled when he was hitting that bong. OMG-WHO CARES!?! Phelps is up on a pedestal because people put him there...give him a break! How are they even going to find that out? Even a drug test can't pin point exactly when and where he smoked. I would know. And since the Richland County police obviously don't have anything better to do with their time, maybe they can come down here and investigate an arson case. Because the Charleston police aren't interested in doing it.

Well, I guess that is enough ranting for today. I think I am ging to stick the Onion for my news from now on.

But I am le tired.



I am ALWAYS le tired. Have I talked about this before? I think I have. I'm too tired to remember. It's really very annoying. I would like some energy. When I'm not tired, I am much happier. I think happy thoughts and feel like I can accomplish things. When I'm tired, all I want to do is get in my bed. Which accomplishes nothing other than getting some use out of my sheets. They were pretty cheap sheets, so I'm sure I've gotten my money's worth by now.

Alright, well moving on. I BAKED last weekend. That's right, me. Baking. It was pretty fabulous. Actually, it was the end product that was so fabulous. I made mille-feuille, which is a french dessert that I once had in Italy. So maybe it's Italian as well. I didn't get details. I just remember that it was SO TASTY. One of the tastiest things I have ever tasted. My roommates and I were at some rando restaurant in Italy and we randomly picked this dessert and I've been dreaming about it ever since. One of my roommates asked the owner to write down the name of the name of it...I was embarrassed for her at the time, but now I'm really glad she did. I was pretty terrible at remembering the names of places and food when I was in Italy. Probably because everything was in Italian and that was just a little too much for me to handle. Restaurants were referred to by a nickname or adjective that went along with the experience. The balls restaurant (that referred to dessert balls..not actual balls), the waiters with tight pants restaurant, the crazy man restaurant...you get the idea. Anyways, I made the dessert and it turned out to be really good. Not as good as the original..but nothing ever is, right? Oh, and by made, I mean helped a lot while my friend did most of the work and told me what to do. Still...I bought all the ingredients.

So that's my baking story. Nothing else really exciting is happening in these parts. Besides the puppies. They are so fabulous. And annoying at the same time. Lots of pooping in the house going on. Not cool. I am going to put up their photo montage if I can remember how. It might have to be later.

01 February 2009

Oh My

This made me laugh so hard.



More later. I BAKED last night. I need to share.

29 January 2009

All God's Creatures Flush

That is what a 70 year old woman taking a drug test told me today. "All god's creatures flush." I'm sorry, but that is retarded. Only humans flush, seeing as no other creatures use toilets. You are an idiot. And yes, I realize the woman was 70 and I am an awful person for even saying that but whatever, she was extremely rude to me prior to taking the test. And I don't care who you are, that is a stupid thing to say.

Moving on, the topic of this post is not stupid 70 woman. It is about stupid BOYS. Seriously, they are so stupid. I don't know how many boys are reading this, if any, but you might want to stop. Actually, it would be in your best interest to read on. You might learn something.

This was inspired because of a conversation I had with a friend the other night. I have tons of conversations about how stupid boys are with lots of my (girl) friends...and sometimes my brother...but this particular conversation stood out because I realized that I, thankfully, was not the only person that had gone through some nonsense. I knew this already, but it was nice to be reminded. I forget sometimes.

So anyways, there are some things that boys do that are just so totally stupid and ridiculous and I just don't understand it. And they say girls are sooo difficult and confusing, but I just don't see it. I don't feel that I am difficult or confusing. I am pretty straightforward when it comes to dating. That hasn't really worked out well for me, so maybe I should become difficult and confusing. Whatever, this isn't about me. This is about boys. Here are my completely random thoughts....

1. Text messaging and facebook are NOT appropriate forms of communication when romance is (potentially) involved and/or when romance is ending. Texting and facebook are both beautiful, fabulous, convenient things. They are not, however, substitutions for actual communication. Doing things in person is ALWAYS the best way to go. Obviously, if you can't be with someone physically, a phone call is your next option. Then an email, then a facebook message, then a text message and last but not least, a wall post. Now, all of the above are good for day to day, casual conversation. A hey, how is your day going? Or, hey I miss you, thought you should know. Or maybe even a hey, I saw that TV show you always talk about last night and you're right, it's hysterical. Here is what it is NOT good for: Asking a person out on a date. Discussing the date and/or encounter you just had with that person. Having an entire conversation about something that would be better discussed over the phone. And last, but certainly not least, BREAKING SOMEONES HEART. It's embarrassing, disrespectful and straight up tacky. If a girl has shown you respect by putting some effort into a relationship, show some respect to her and man up and break up with her in person. If you're long distance, skype that shit or at least pick up the phone. UGH. It baffles me that 1. I have to even say that 2. Boys would EVER think that was ok and 3. That it, embarrassingly enough, has happened to me. So so tacky.

2. Once you've had a serious relationship (or relations) with someone, it is damn near impossible to be friends with them. I'm sorry, but why on earth do boys think this is even possible? I know why, because they are selfish and they want to break a girls heart, but not feel bad about it. And if they are "friends" then they think they haven't really done anything wrong and all is well. I mean, haven't you seen enough movies to know that girls are more emotional than boys and it's hard enough to pick yourself up after a break up, much less have to pretend you still like the heart breaker and are interested in hearing about their next girl. NO. It doesn't work that way! I don't really believe in "mutual" break ups (probably because they don't exist) because one of the people in the broken relationship didn't want it to break. One of the persons is all for fixing it and/or thought nothing was wrong in the first place. So to ask them to just go on like nothing happened and be friends with the breaker is ludicrous. ABSALUDICROUS.

3. When you say stuff "I love you" you had better be ready to deal with the responsibilities of those words. You don't say stuff like that to people and then write them off very soon afterwards. You need to think really hard about what you're saying, make sure you mean it, and then be ready to prove it.

4. Just because you think a girl looks pretty, doesn't mean she knows it. It's always nice to hear. Again, surely you have seen a romantic comedy or two. Take some notes. And if you don't like romantic movies, I know you have seen a sitcom. They deal with this kind of stuff all the time.

5. There are a MILLION fun, interesting things to do in [insert where you live]. Don't be lame and just go to dinner and a movie all the time. Boring is lame.

6. Just because you buy a girl a drink or dance with her does not mean she has to go home with you. You are not entitled to anything. Doesn't matter how hard she's grinding on you at the club.

There were other things I had in mind when I started this post...but I got distracted by the puppies (they have started pooping in the house. NOT COOL.) and forgot them. So maybe there will be a part two to this.

I think the biggest thing I hate about boys is how they are the crazy ones, but somehow, at the end of it all, they turn it around and make us look the crazy people. And by us, I mean my friend and I. I'm sure it has happened to lots of people but it's basically this:
Boy meets girl (or reunites with them, whatever)
Boy throws himself at girl. Girl resists. Boy tries harder. Girl gives in a little. Boy continues on his ridiculous path and says things like, "I think I am falling in love with you." Girl scoffs, surely not. Boy continues. Girl finally gives in and decides to try and have a somewhat meaningful relationship.
Boy retreats. Boy acts like girl is crazy for wanting to be in a relationship and claims he doesn't understand where she even got that idea from. Boy breaks girl's heart. Boy moves on to next girl.
Game over.
See the problem?

With that being said, I am perfectly happy being single right now. Thank you and goodnight.

26 January 2009

Five Things

I just finished reading "Five Things I Can't Live Without." It was a chick lit book and it wasn't all that fabulous, but it wasn't all that bad either. As always, I figured out a way to link the character back to my life, which made me both sad and hopeful. But anyways, the main character quits her job and decides to become a free-lance writer that re-writes people's online dating profiles. I think that would be kind of interesting. I also think that it must be so hard for the people that contact her. I mean, it's bad enough you are using an online dating service (I know they are not that terrible, but I don't know, for me, it just kind of represents rock bottom. Which I am very close too, so I can't really talk), but to have to hire someone because their profile sucks...double whammy. I would think. Maybe not though, online dating seems to be the norm in some places. ANYWAYS-one of the questions on the profiles is what are five things you can't live without? (Am I supposed to end the previous sentence with a question mark or a period?) I wish I could give examples of ones in the book, but I already took it back to the library and I don't remember many except that one guy was super into plants and one girl's was like, satin sheets, scented candles, other random sexy things and her dog. She was kind of a slut. And satin sheets are terrible. So I decided I would come up with the five things I couldn't live without...hypothetically. I decided to not be literal and leave out things like food, water, air, money, good health, a house, etc. No bare necessity kind of things. Especially no ants or prickly pears.

So here they are...in no particular order:

1. Music. I love music. I relate songs to nearly everything in my life. I have soundtracks and playlists for different times of my life, places, people, events, moods, etc. I miss playing the viola and creating music, and wish I had the time and money to learn to play the drums, guitar, piano and cello. Music can move me to tears, make my heart burst with happiness and long for something unknown all at the same time. When I think about my (potentially nonexistant) wedding, all I really focus on are what songs will be played at the reception. That, and how I'm going to have fireworks. Everything else falls to the wayside. Music is paired with dancing and there are few things better than dancing. Concerts are one of the few. If a first date were to be a concert, I might consider giving it up one the first date. Right now I'm listening to the Brandenburg Concerto and it makes me smile remembering playing it in orchestra junior year and how I could really only hit about half the notes (I wasn't very good).

2. The beach. Nothing calms me down or fills me with peace like sitting on the beach. Anytime of the year, I can walk onto the beach, take a deep breath and my stress and worry is long forgotten. I love the smell, the sand, the sound of the water and just the basic beauty that comes with a beach scene. I love going during the day in the summer and basking in the sunlight. Just basking. Not drinking or playing frisbee or bocci or throwing a football. Just basking and enjoying myself. Sometimes reading and maybe a walk...but mainly basking. I love going at night and watching the waves in the moonlight. The beach at night can make me cry for no good reason at all. I love it all. I was born a beach girl and will always be a beach girl. Sorry mountains, but our relationship will always be on a short term basis.

3. My laptop. I know, so superficial right? But it really is my lifeline. It houses all my music and connects me to the world. I said goodbye to my desktop senior year and havne't looked back once. I use it pretty much every day and, after serious thought, have decided it would be one of the things I would grab if my house were to ever catch on fire. It has a lot of memories.

4. My family. I don't even have enough words for how important and fabulous my family is. We are quite a strange family, with lots of quirks and abnormalities, but it works and I am so lucky to have them.

5. Books. I LOVE reading. I wish it was my job to read all day every day...while listening to music on the beach. And then I could go home and write critiques about them on my laptop. Add in a family dinner every now and then and life would be so grand. I like books because they have the ability to keep me connected to and learn about the world, while also taking me somewhere far far away from the real world. I've talked many a time about how connected I get with books and characters. It is one of my goals to have a big, ridiculous library when I settle down somewhere. I've started a mini-one already and am really quite proud.

So there you have it. The people in the book didn't go into quite so much detail, but it's my blog and I'll do it all day. What are your five things?

Oh yeah, and I've fallen down on providing song recommendations. So today's are some of my fave classical pieces:
Brandenburg Concerti by Bach (No. 3)
Egmont Overture by Beethoven
The October Sky theme
The Piano Song from Legends of the Fall
Pachelbels Canon in D

23 January 2009

Of Course

So I've been feeling a little uninspired lately. Which is weird because I'm pretty sure the rest of the country has just been bursting with inspiration lately. I don't know, I'm just not feeling it. I'm really not a very political person, nor do I really enjoying discussing deep things via blog. Basically, I was not really on board with the Obama fever that swept the nation this week. Oh man, I am going to get myself in SO much trouble for this, but I really think people are getting just a little bit out of control. GASP! I know, I clearly am going to straight to American hell. But hear me out. I think this is a VERY exciting time and I am super excited about the potential of Obama. And I think it's great that we have an African-American president. I do not, however, think Obama is going to save the entire world in four years. Nor is he going to salvage American culture (and we need some help). And you know what, I'm just going to stop there in fear of Obama fans hunting me down. But just so we're straight, Obama is great, I'm excited about his presidency. But, I think people need to realize he is not the answer to every one's problems. I guess I am just kind of nervous that people are going to be disappointed. And it makes me sad that his race is constantly being mentioned. And, I think articles like this: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/01/michelle_obama_under_fire_for.html are RIDICULOUS. People like that are why racism is never going away. Seriously, why are people so lame? Moving on, I don't feel like getting myself worked up. Also, Bella just pooped on the carpet so I need to take care of that.

Moving on...the carpet is clean. My blog is getting added to the Skirt! magazine list of blog setters. I'm kind of nervous. Mainly because most people write about important things while I mainly write about myself. It's not anything new though, as you can see in past posts. If you don't like it, stop reading. Anyways, we get a theme every month so hopefully that will inspire me to write amazingly profound and wise things. We also have to post 3-4 times a week (whoa!), so that might force me into writing about important things. We'll see. The point of my blog though is to make people laugh and think about random things. It's also a way for me to talk about whatever I want without actually having someone to listen to me.

I also think I've been kind of uninspired because there is so much negativity surrounding me these days. Nothing is being done with the arson investigation and that is SUPER frustrating. It's actually making me pretty angry. Also, one of my step brothers friends just hung himself and that just makes me so sad. One, because it is just depressing that someone is so far gone that they think killing themselves is the only thing left to do. And two, the conversations that the topic sparked just made me sad. And this weather is KILLING me. I cannot stand cold weather and it is just bringing me down. As much as I love those silly puppies, I am don't love cleaning up pee and poop constantly. And lastly, my stomach has been acting all kinds of crazy lately and it is beginning to get old.

So there you have it. I'm negative and grouchy these days. I'm hoping positivity is going to kick back in soon. I like being happy. I think those days are just around the corner, so prepare yourselves.

The Office is on! So that's a start to the trail that leads to Happyville.

21 January 2009

And They Call It Bella Notte

New foster puppies!!! And they are so so SO cute....I'll prove it:


I told you so! I know, you can hardly stand it. Me either. And I thought you couldn't get any cuter than Booger. Turns out, TWO puppies means TWICE the cuteness. And they snore! Jeez, the cuteness never ends.

This is Bella...

And this is Notte...
How great are those names? So great. Let me explain for those that the greatness is lost on. First off, they go together and that works because there are two. Also, the names are Italian and anything Italian automatically equals greatness. Except Mussolini...and Burlesconi...and maybe the mafia...but pretty much everything else works. Anyways, Bella means beautiful, which fits her, you saw her! And Notte means night, which is also so fitting because she is black! And the kicker to it all, it's the song from Lady and the Tramp, which is one of my very favorite Disney movies. There you go. The names are great. Thank you.

These puppies are pretty different from Booger. She was a little more fiesty, Bella and Notte are pretty chill. And they don't bite as much..which is good. Booger was a biting machine and it was kind of annoying, especially when she was trying to eat my toes while I was getting ready for work. However, these puppies are a little on the whiny side and are BIG time pee-ers. Seriously, they pee ALL the time. When I take them out, they will pee two or three times in the span of ten minutes. And then I'll bring them inside and they'll pee on the carpet five minutes later. It's peeing insanity. I'm hoping they will grow out of that. Either way, I'm cool with it because then they give me puppy kisses and I can no longer be upset that I have to Febreze the carpet for the third time that day. Also, they have puppy nightmares, which is both cute and disturbing. I want to just love all over them and make sure they can sleep peacefully.

In other news, I am super tired all the time. It's getting ridiculous. It's a different tired these days though. Instead of being exhausted all day at work, I'm fine at work and then I get home and just want to get in bed. Maybe it's the cold? It was mildly SNOWING today. Horrible. It didn't stick and I don't really know if it actually counts as snowing since it was really pathetic, but still...that means it's super cold and I do not like that at all.

Oh yeah, remind me to talk about the new President in my next post. I have stuff to say about the whole ordeal, but now I'm tired and want to go to bed. At 10:00. I'll leave you with my inspiration....


Ciao ciao!

12 January 2009

Heaven on Earth

So, after an extremely uneventful weekend, I was rifling through some old computer files. I do that sometimes when I am feeling bored or nostalgic. Or, when I should be doing something else on my computer. Like now, when I should be working on my TEFL course. Anyways, so I came across this old video from my study abroad days and thought I would share. Lucky yall because it hasn't been shared ever before. Mainly because no one ever wanted to see it.



So there you go. This was literally one of the very best days of my life. I was in Greece for Spring Break with five of my study abroad friends. We rented a car and were cruising around Santorini, enjoying the beautiful weather and being awesome. The radio was kind of struggling because it was mainly people babbling in Greek or strange Greek music. But, we were flipping through the stations and my very favorite song came on! What are the freaking chances people!??! I mean, seriously, it was complete craziness. And then, to make it even MORE crazy, Laura's (the girl filming) favorite song came on after that! Which was Good Vibrations...I think. I know it was some crazy dance song like that.

I can't really explain my attachment to this song. It doesn't make any sense, even to me. But when Belinda starts up, it seriously just make me so incredibly happy. I can't stop smiling, no matter what I'm doing. And driving around in Greece, listening to a Greek radio station really just made my life. In fact, just watching the video today made me ridiculously happy even though my life kind of sucks right now. So all is well. My camera unfortunately died before we could get to the arm pump part (which is the best part), so that was kind of sad. But I'm glad I at least got some of it on camera. I'm sure you are too.

I heard the song another time in a German bar while I was in Italy. It was St. Patrick's Day and I was with some of the people I volunteered with at the soup kitchen and none of them spoke English very well. So the song came on and I got super pumped, but they didn't really understand why and I couldn't really explain it. So I just kind of looked like a fool, but whatever. One of the guys could speak English ok though, and he understood that I was trying to say that my favorite song was playing. He did not, however, understand why that was my favorite song. Very few people do understand. Actually, I have yet to meet anyone that appreciates the song like I do. His favorite song was "I'll Be Watching You" by The Police. Don't ask how I remember that.

Um, so I found the real music video for you. And holy shit, it is so incredibly awesome. No idea why I had never seen it before, but it just made the song 100 million times better for me. Please enjoy... What is going on with those creepy globe holding kids?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQahvFdQVu8

And then I found her singing it live and that is pretty awesome as well:

I am totally digging her outfit. As well as the back-up singers and the guitar playing that is rocking out hardcore.

There was also a video of Ashley Tisdale doing a remix, but I am not justifying that shit with a link. She needs to be punched in the face.

Right, so now that I've dedicated an entire post to ONE song, I think I'll call it a night. And the sad part is, I have more to say about it.

09 January 2009

Potty Mouth

People, I am freaking tired. And whiny. And irritated. SO irritated. Someone fucking BROKE INTO the new office. Seriously. What. The. Fuck. Leave us alone already! We don't think the two (the fire AND the robbery) are related, but seriously, this is getting annoying. It was especially annoying because whoever the robber was busted out the glass in the door and the stupid glass people didn't come to replace it until the end of the day. So, it just stayed open all day and it was fucking freezing all day long. And it sucked a lot because I got dressed this morning, looked at my jacket, debated on whether or not to take, and decided no. Bad decision. Ugh, it sucked so bad. And instead of being slow like we thought it was going to be, there were NON STOP people. And they were pretty much all pre-employment collections from this one company. Which is fine, I mean, whatever. But seriously, HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN THEY CONCEIVABLY HIRE? I'm guessing not 80, which they have sent our way in the last two days. Oh yeah, the robber was pretty stupid as well. He (or she..but a woman would have been smarter) stole a cheap ass Wal-Mart computer, an old ass laptop and....here's some delicious irony for you, the not yet set up security system. Awesome, right? Yes. So anyways, the whole day was just super annoying with super annoying people. There is one woman that comes all the time and I just want to bitch slap her and tell her to shut the fuck up. But I can't. And this stupid ass lady came in right at 5, which is annoying by itself, but then she doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say. I hate people like that. Here was our conversation:
...
Stupid lady: [right at 5, when we are supposed to be closed] Do I need to write down my prescription medicines on this paper? [She is talking about the sign-in sheet...like we would have people write personal shit like that on the damn sign in sheet, for everyone to see. Stupid.]
Me: [after an extremely long ass day] No ma'am. We don't need any of that information.
Stupid lady: Are you sure? Because I take some medicine that might show up in the test.
Me: No ma'am. If there are any questions about your medications, a medical review officer at the lab will get in touch with you. We don't take any of that information here. We are actually not even supposed to know that kind of information because we are not doctors.
Stupid lady: Well, I take some amphetamines for....
Me: [cutting her off] No ma'am, we don't need to know.
Stupid lady: babbles on some more her medications that I don't need to know about
Me: walks off

DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH? What part of WE DON'T NEED THAT INFORMATION did she not understand? But here's the best part, she goes back to Frank (don't EVEN get me started FRANK) and she is telling him about all her stupid medicines and is asking if he needs to know. What the HELL people. And the part that kills me the most is that every time I get mad about these horribly ridiculous, stupid, RUDE ASS people, my dad is just like, you need to chill out. NO I DON'T! I need a NEW JOB!

AAAAAGHGRRRFUCKSHITDAMNGGGRRRRRRRRRDDAAAAMMMMMNNNN.

Now, I know this post would lead you to believe that I am a very angry person. But I'm not. I'm just super tired and needed to vent. Thanks for listening. Here is something funny:

http://www.offuhuge.com/media/197962/justin_timberlake_snl_beyonce_single_ladies_video/


That shit is so funny.

Also, you know that commercial about Buzz trivia or something and he's like, turns out no one knows where a widow's peak is? Seriously? Who doesn't know that? Every time I see that, I'm like, damn! I wish I was there and I would have been the only one to know and everyone would be like, jacky, you are sooo smart! And I would be all like, oh, stop. But I would secretly love it because god knows I love being the center of attention.





06 January 2009

Well Then

My New Years Eve was super super fun. It was so nice to be with my friends. We were complete fools at the club, like always. But it was fabulous, even though I'm pretty sure the deejay thought we were morons. He did, however, play a few seconds of my very favorite song and it made me extremely happy. Sadly, I was on my way to the bathroom at the time and had to have a mini-celebration by myself before I could get back to everyone to scream in happiness. Here we are, looking fly and fun:
My straw looks like it is poking me in the boob. Naughty straw!

And then I took a picture of me and Katrina's super hot shoes.
1. Because they were so damn hot and 2. because pictures of shoes seem to be all the rage on blogger these days. I wanted to join the party. I meant to do one of my sooty shoes at the fire, but forgot. I'll do it again if I ever remember. But my shoes are boring, so I might not.

Anyways, don't really know what is going to be happening in the next couple of weeks with the pee farm, but I'll keep you posted...hahaha! Pun intended. Especially if anything pops up about the person that started the fire. I want to know and cuss the fucker out. It really just burns me up. hahaha! I know, so punny.

Ok, for real. I'll stop. Song of the post: "Something Happened on the Way to Heaven" by Phil Collins.

31 December 2008

Grammar Police



So, I saw this at a bar last night. And I wanted to share. Also, I went to the bathroom in this same bar and there were a pair of boxer briefs and a pregnancy test wrapper in the trash can next to the toilet. Oh my.

Oh yeah, I found out my man Rob smokes. So we might not fall in love as planned. He is going to have to stop that first. If anyone sees him, tell him to quit. Thanks.

JACKSONVILLE TOMORROW!!! SO PUMPED :)

Happy New Year friends!

29 December 2008

Buon Natale!

That is Merry Christmas in Italian! Merry Christmas people!

I know it's late, but I was kind of busy reading the Twilight Saga, getting drunk, and driving all over the damn place these last few days. But, I hope everyone's holiday was fabulous and that Santa was good to you. He was not so fabulous to me, but it's cool...I got a few cool things. And it was awesome to have a 4 1/2 day weekend, so I'm good. But here are some pics of my super fabulous decor:


The lovely stockings, that I made. Thank you Dollar Tree

The front of the house. See the tree in the window!

My beautiful tree with it's beautiful colored lights. We had some light discrepancies in the house, but I won out. It's my house. There were also lights in the back, but the picture didn't turn out right.

So anyways, I did finish the Twilight Saga. All four of them. In three days. Wow, impressed? I know, it's more sad than anything. But like I've said before, I get really involved with whatever I'm reading and I have to finish right away. So that is what I did. So I'm not really obsessed anymore. The obsession goes away once I'm done with whatever it is I'm reading or watching. Which is good. I don't want to be one of those crazies that truly believes my future husband could potentially be a vampire and/or a wizard. Or one of those that dresses up to read the book, red contacts and all. But, I did enjoy the rest of the books...even though the main girl was pissing me off a little. But, then I remembered that she's not real, so I got over it. I did however, decide that I'm kind of in love with the guy that plays the main character in the movie, Robert Pattinson. He is easy to look at, has an English accent and seems like a nice person. I saw him on Ellen. I think we would make an excellent couple and I just need to figure out how to introduce myself. Maybe I'll go visit my friend Blakely in LA and I'll spot him and he'll spot me, and then we'll chat and then he'll see how great I am and then he'll ask me out, but I'll play hard to get, but he'll keep trying and I'll eventually give in and we'll fall in love and then I'll get to make a cameo in the next movie. Yes, I think that is what is going to happen. We both have a strong facial structure. I think we would look great together. And Kristen Stewart doesn't seem very nice, so it would be a nice change for him. And apparently he plays piano, which is great. I love piano music! We could play together, I know that viola is around here somewhere. And surely he knows 'Heart and Soul,' it's a classic. I'm pretty awesome at the melody. This is just getting better and better...for him, of course.

Back to reality, I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm so sad because my co-worker Karla is really gone and she is not coming back :( But, she is going to be a nurse in California and save lives, so I guess that is ok. But I miss her!

We are so cute.

The weather here has been INSANELY nice. It was 75 on Christmas day! Seriously, it was great. I never want it to get cold. If it does, however, I will be prepared since I got two sweaters, two pairs of gloves, and a scarf for Christmas. I will be ready for cold weather, but I would rather it stay warm. Makes me so glad I live in Charleston.


Jealous?
I took those today, DECEMBER 28h while sitting on the beach and reading. Nothing could be finer. Especially since I had just come from hanging out with my fun friends in Columbia the night before. I am lucky that I have such great friends and wish I got to see them more often. I also wish I had taken some pictures while I was with them. Silly me. I get to see more great friends on New Years and I cannot freaking WAIT! Gotta get through 2 1/2 days of work first...boo.

I have lots of other things I could ramble about, but I think I'm going to finish my 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' dvd instead. Song of the post: "I Still Ain't Over You" by Augustana.

Ciao friends.

24 December 2008

Obsessed

Just a quickie to tell you about my new obsessions. And by obsessions, I mean, I cannot get enough of this crap. It's kind of extreme.

First up, Eric Hutchinson. The song "Rock and Roll" is so beyond fabulous, I can't even stand it. It seriously is like, happiness in a song. I get ridiculously happy listening to it. And even more happy when I can dance to it. I bought his CD today and it might be the best purchase I've ever made. I rarely buy CDs, but the few I've bought recently have worked out really well for me, so I thought I'd give it another try. Here is the video for you to enjoy....Feel free to dance and smile excessively.
">
I mean, he looks like such a goober, but he's still super cute. I'd totally do him. Haha...um, for real.

Next obsession...Twilight. Like, seriously, it's bad. I started reading it today at work and I'm pretty sure I'll be done with it by tonight. I've always had this freakish ability to read extremely fast, but I'm kind of out of control with this. And I was totally one of those haters when the movie came out and was like, what is with these crazy asses? But now I understand. I also need one of those crazy asses to go see it with me...which might be a problem. Fingers crossed. And yes, I've already bought the second one and am saving up for the third.

Not an obsession, but I've decided I really like Pink...the artist. She just rocks my face off and this video is so funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bNDr1A6dTU
And, I know all about dealing with tools, so I can totally relate to this song. I love it. And Pink is just like, a total badass, like myself. So it's nice to have company.

CHRISTMAS IS SO SOON! As soon as I finish reading Twilight, I am going to take pictures of my fabulous Christmas lights so I can share them with you, dear readers. Get excited!

That is really all I wanted to share. I felt like I should get my new obsessions out there since I'm so pleased with them. I was also excited about them because they got my mind off other, less important things that have been sneaking back in lately. Hooray for distractions!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Love to all :)