Have a little fun today!

I had A LOT of fun today because I went to the ELLEN SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it was fantastic. I'm going to be honest with y'all though, I was a little upset. We didn't get into the actual audience because we got there too late (and some of you probably weren't crossing your fingers hard enough..jk) and the Riff Raff room was a little disappointing. I was literally crossing my fingers the entire time we were in line (I probably looked like such an idiot) but it just wasn't in the cards for me today. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time and loved it a lot, but Riff Raffers don't get no love! No shout out or a peek inside or anything! Well that's not true I guess because we got a shirt. But some of the other Raffers were SO LAME! Some sat the entire time and someo of them weren't even smiling! I couldn't stop smiling! There was one lady, though, who was both fabulous and very strange. She was busting some moves pretty hard. Others weren't really though....a lot of people just sat there. And the worst part was they had these big screens up where you could watch the show and they showed the "real" audience dancing before it started and some people were being soooooooo LAME. Seriously, some people were just standing there, not dancing at all! I wanted to ask the staff if they could go pull the lame-os and replace them with awesome people (ie: Blakely and I) who would appreciate the experience better. However, I didn't ask so we stayed put. Blakely and I both got up on the furniture (we had permission!) and were totally breaking it down, so we had a blast. One of the staff guys was a dancing fool too and it was hilarious. We also had a congo line, which I am normally against, but something just came over me! It was good times. However, I'm not going to lie, when Ellen came out and was up on the big screen, I teared up a little. I KNOW-sooo pathetic, but I really really REALLY wanted to be in that audience. BUT-the good news is we got re-booked for guaranteed seats in May and I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but I think it's going to be a REALLY good show.

Our show was good too. We got a sneak preview of the finale of a show (I don't know if I'm legally allowed to say anything about yet...seriously, we had to sign something) that I don't normally watch and it was a little painful. But, it was still cool to get to see it before everyone else. The guests were Lindsey Vonn, who is super pretty and gave everyone (including the Riff Raffers!) a free t-shirt that Blakely and I wore on our afternoon walk. Yes, we were matching and trying to make people think we were Olympic athletes. Lauren Graham was also there and she is really funny and really terrible at Pictionary. There was also a woman who Ellen discovered on YouTube and was PHENOMENAL. She was unbelievable! And super cute. And Ellen talked to the audience at the very end and it was special. On commercial breaks the screens didn't show us what was going on onstage, but I think there were some dance contests or something with the audience members, I don't know. I bought a shirt that is extremely comfy and Blakely won a shirt for dancing like a go-go girl.

Anyways, the whole thing was super fun and it just makes me love Ellen even more. And makes me want to be her international ambassador EVEN MORE. So what I think I'm going to do is start a letter/email writing campaign. I am going to get people from all over the world (and US) to send in something on my behalf saying that I would make a good Ellen diplomat. If you're interested, let me know. And if you know people in other countries that would do it too, let me know! I don't know if this will work, but I'm going to at least try. Should be interesting.

So that was Ellen. Oh yeah! Since we were Riff Raffers, we were the first people to leave and get out of the parking garage and we saw her driving! She was turning right and we were turning left and were like, right behind her! And we were trying to wave at her and then we noticed some security people in the car behind her (next to us) looking sternly at us. Then he rolled down his window so we stopped immediately. I mean, we were just trying to get a wave! Calm down. The security guy was ridiculously hot too, so that just made it more embarrassing. Oh well.

Also, I got to drive to work today and it was soooo great. It took HALF the time on the bus, wasn't sketchy and annoying and there were no funny smells involved. I REALLY wish I had a car. And a non-broken computer. But that is for another day.

Well, I've got two months to get my letter writing campaign up and running. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks to everyone that has been so supportive and interested in my Ellen experience, y'all are awesome.

Dream big people! :)

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Sooo, this weekend pretty much sucked hardcore. Among other stupid things, I broke my new makeup and my computer, church made me horribly sad and I realized a lot of people suck. And I HATE when I realize people suck! You know, you're going along...thinking things are fine and then there is that moment where you're like, awwww man, this person sucks. And what are you gonna do? Oh well. Keep looking for non-sucky people I guess. And ugggh, I'm so depressed about my computer. Daaaaammmmnnnnnnn it.

BUT-things got better today. Blakely and I went to the beach and it was sooo beautiful and so fun. Sadly, I did not take my camera or I would show you. Then we had a super fabulous dinner involving yummy guacamole. However, my dumb self drank WAY to much soda. And by that, I mean a glass. And now I am super crazy wired because soda makes me a crazy person. I'm having trouble typing this. So I'll wrap it up.

ELLEN IS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited, I seriously can't even stand IT! AHHHHHH!!!!! Ok, I'm going to pick out an outfit, make a playlist and cross everything possible that we actually get in the audience and then she notices me and offers me a job.

DREAM HUGE PEOPLE!

Green Eyed Monster

I am so insane with jealousy right now, I can't even stand it. I usually don't get jealous of people because my life is pretty great and I enjoy it. However. One of the girls at school got to meet my future boy toy, Taylor Lautner. CAN YOU EVEN STAND IT? I can't, I really can't. Jealousy is literally coursing through my veins right now and I can't deal. And she got to take a PICTURE. Which means she got to stand REALLY close to him. Apparently he was just wandering around the Third Street Promenade the other night because he was "bored." I walk down the Promendae EVERY DAY! Where has he been? I can help with the boredom! He can come keep me company at work! I'll quit my job, we'll go do fun things all day every day. Holy crap, seriously. I don't even want to talk about this anymore.

In other news, the bus has been creeping me out lately and things were really strange today. First off, it has been unusually not-crowded. It freaks me out a little. It went from being super crowded with barely enough room for people to stand to not even having every seat filled. The other day I rode the whole way with no one sitting next to me. Which is great, don't get me wrong...it just makes me wonder what is going on. Is there some sort of bus riders strike no one told me about? Also, today there was some sort of weird smell. It was like a combination of poop and Chinese food. Or rather, a Chinese restaurant. I really didn't enjoy it. Good thing I was super happy because I chose to listen to 80s music the whole way there and was dancing a little in my seat. I was also crazy with excitement because it's Friday and that means ELLEN IS IN THREE SHORT DAYS! I don't know how I'm going to get through this weekend! Oh yeah, and it was really weird because I got on the bus today and the driver was like, "haha, you're not wearing pants today." Ummmm. Not sure how I feel about that comment. It's true, yes. I was wearing a dress. But did you really need to mention it? Probably not.

Hopefully the bus ride home will be less eventful. I am getting my hair cut after work today...fingers crossed we don't have another Italian haircut situation going on. I'm hoping not since we at least will be speaking the same language. Also, sad times for me, I just locked myself out of the bathroom by leaving the key in there. Crap. Oh well.

Dream big people!

So soon, so soon, so SOON!

Seriously people, Ellen is just a few short days away and I am kind of freaking out a little bit. One, I am really nervous I won't get in the audience. I will, of course, still be totally ecstatic in the Riff Raff Room...but I can't lie, it would break my heart just a little bit.

Two, I also only a have a few days to do a lot of things:

1. Figure out my outfit. I might be on TV! I gotsa look good!

2. Figure out how to get Ellen to notice me. And then be so impressed with my awesomeness that she hires me. That is essentially what I want..a job with Ellen. Not prizes, or money. A job. So I can laugh, dance and help people for a living. And be her international ambassador. Ugh, I'd be so awesome at that. I made a list as to why I would make a fantastic employee for Ellen:

a. We have similar haircuts
b. We both love animals (proof: Booger, Bella & Notte, Jack & Diane)
c. Laughing is my favorite
d. I LOVE dancing. That might actually be my favorite. I could teach her some new moves! I bet she doesn't know to shag...South Carolina style!
e. I have international friends and could help with her world domination dream.
f. It would make my mom really happy (and Liz totally jealous)
g. I have excellent references (as long as she doesn't call the Greek people!)
h. I have interesting stories
i. I would do just about anything and go just about anywhere
j. I am awesome. She is awesome. We would get along great!
k. My life career goal involves helping people, she could me help you.
l. She could give Jeannie a promotion!

There are loads of other reasons, but I won't continue.

3. Figure out how to impress her without coming off as creepy. Could be a challenge. I'm not a creepy person (in general) but I feel like I might come off that way. I'm not really "obsessed" with Ellen, it would just make me so crazy happy to work for her. I mean, I am not going there to collect her hair or anything.

4. Work on my dancing skillllzzz. They are already pretty sweet, so they don't need much help, but again, I might be on TV. I've gotta be top notch.

5. Figure out to calm the F down because I am literally so excited I sort of can't function!

WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, keep those fingers crossed and

DREAM BIG PEOPLE!

Crack is Whack

So lots of weird things have been happening lately. Nothing very exciting, or interesting really. Just kind of weird.

First off, I have to mention that I got a phone call from [the] Ellen [show] today and I was informed the taping has been moved from 4:30 to 2:30, pushing check-in time up to 12:00. Which is not good because I am not supposed to leave work until 11 and that is cutting it a little too close for comfort. Oooh, it just makes me really sad in general. BUT, I am not giving up hope! Everyone cross your fingers for me that I'll be let into the actual audience and not just in the Riff Raff Room because it would seriously MAKE MY LIFE. Seriously. We need someone that can go check in early and save our spot in line. If you know anyone in LA that's free for line standing and Ellen watching on Monday, holla! For real, we have an extra ticket!

Ok, so weird things. Yesterday I was walking to work and this crazy man first shouted something about being possessed by the devil (someone else was, i think...not him) and then he laid down in the middle of the street for a few seconds. And then got up and looked at me like, what? I had on sunglasses and headphones so I just pretended I didn't see his fool self. Then today a woman got on the bus with like, 50 blankets wrapped around her and was holding a statue of the Virgin Mary with a few blankets wrapped around her as well. Then, after she had been on the bus for a while, she dropped down on one knee. I was behind her, so I couldn't see what she was doing, but I'm assuming she was praying. Not a bad idea on a LA bus, really. And last but not least, today I was walking home and I saw a wreck happen. It wasn't bad or anything, just really loud. No one was hurt and the cars weren't even badly damaged. It was just loud and scared me. It was raining here today so of course, people were going all ape-shit and driving all whack like they do when it rains here. It doesn't very often, so people just really don't know what to do with themselves. It's funny...and sad.

In other news, I have been tripping over sidewalk cracks a lot lately. It's kind of embarrassing. It's happened 4 times this week. I need new shoes maybe? I don't know. Oh, and I saw a movie last night, Un Prophoete (it's foreign, I'm cultured) and it was really good. Craaazzzyyy long, but good. And I decided that mustaches are the most horrible thing that men can do to their faces. Take note, men, and shave the stache. And if you're a man, and you're reading this, and you have a stache...stop reading because we should not be associated with each other. Thank you.

Ok, remember, fingers crossed for me and my Ellen experience! SO excited! Also, cross your fingers I win the lottery while you're at it because I need a car and a new computer real bad. But, if you're only going to do it for one or other other, do it for Ellen. If you have to choose.

Dream big people!

Yikes

I don't know how I haven't commented on this already because I have been thinking about it for quite some time now.



The new 'We Are The World' video. At first, I was really pumped about it. Like, really pumped. I thought it was such a cool idea that they were going to re-do it. For the most part, I am all for covers and remakes because I think it's interesting to put a new spin on things and sometimes (rarely) the new version is even better than the old. For example, in my humble opinion, I think Rufus Wainwright's version of 'Hallelujah' is better than Leonard Cohen's original. [Seriously, that's just me, no one freak out...Cohen's version is still awesome]. ANYWAYS-I was excited about this new version. However, after seeing it for the first time I was severely let down. And a little disgusted. I mean, they started off with Justin Beiber. He wasn't even around for the original! Whatever, technically, I wasn't either, but I at least had been conceived. I guess he's ok (who am I kidding, I freaking love 'One Time') but maybe shouldn't have started the whole thing off. Anyways, I watched it again and decided maybe it wasn't so terrible. The original is still a thousand times better, duh. But, this new one is decent. I read somewhere that Lionel Ritchie didn't use the original people because he wanted to make it relevant to 2010. And I'm sorry, but Lionel, I don't really think you are relevant to 2010. At least not musically. 'All Night Long' was quite some time ago my friend. There were a few rando's thrown in there too, I think. Also, Wyclef Jean's part makes my ears bleed a little. I personally think it would have been pretty awesome to have the original people do it again. Most of them are still alive and most of them are still kicking it in the music scene. The Boss? He's still out on tour!

My final thought is this: Good idea. Maybe a little too many artists thrown in there. The original definitely trumps. I LOVE the Haitian kid dancing towards the end. And good call throwing Vince Vaughn in there as the random, non musical person looking dorky in the back (ie-Dan Akroyd). Lastly, I think everyone should have been wearing silver MJ gloves as a tribute.

Let's do the time warp again!

So it's Saturday night and Blakely and I are sitting around after a long day of shopping and I say:

"Have you ever seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

Apparently I said this out of nowhere because Blakely nor I can recall why I brought this up in the first place. Anywho, to make a long story short we find out there is a theater in LA that plays the RHPS every Saturday night at midnight and since I had never seen it (and I had been craving movie theater popcorn for a week), we decide to go.

Oh my goodness.

It was seriously one of the craziest/most fun/most bizarre/entertaining/most disturbing/interesting things I have ever experienced in my life. And I say experienced, not just watched. Because they did not just show the movie (which is pretty bizarre-o on its own), but there were props, costumes, actors, music, etc. I had heard about this kind of thing before, that it was a cult classic and people squirted water guns, threw toast, etc, but this place took it to a whole new level.

First, we have to get in a line. It's midnight on a Saturday and we have to get in an extremely long line down the sidewalk for a movie that has been playing every single Saturday night for the past 35 years. And we have some interesting company in the line. There are people dressed up in all sorts of crazy get ups. Lots of fishnet hose, intense cleavage, boys in drag and one boy in some shiny gold undies. And nothing else. Poor guy, it was like 40 outside. He seemed to be in good spirits though. Especially after a girl walking around with lipstick drew all over him. I won't repeat what she wrote, but it was ....interesting. Blakely and I got V's on our faces because we were RHPS virgins. We are also offered a range of merchandise to purchase, from penis key chains, to boobie lighters, to a prop kit to use while watching. Before we got to go in, we got a pep talk from "security" telling us to go home if we were easily offended by vulgarity, nudity or profanity. We were also told not to take pictures of the girl undressing and that we could bring our own food in, we just couldn't throw it. We could only throw the things they gave us. Oh, and it was Mardi Gras night and we could show our boobs once inside if we wanted some beads.

So we go in and basically what ensues is total insanity. First we have like an emcee doing a warm up, telling us the rules and making really lame jokes. We also had to go through a "virgin initiation" which was basically all the people with Vs going to the front and pledging allegiance to RHPS. There were also a select few that were chosen to stay on stage and let's just say I was really happy I was not one of them. If you know what I'm saying. Finally the movie starts and while the movie is going on, people are wandering around yelling things at the screen while other people in costume are acting out the actual movie while it's playing. It was really quite distracting and I still don't really have any idea what actually went on in the movie.

Pretty much, I totally loved/was completely weirded out by this whole experience. The whole thing was actually really really funny and I left thinking, only in LA. Seriously. I mean, I don't think you could find enough freaks in all of South Carolina to put in such a thing, much less keep it going every single Saturday. It's like a convention of every weird person you went to high school with. Personally, I'm just happy they have found their niche. Not everyone does. And on top of them, there were plenty of "virgins" there as well. Only in LA.

No, I did not show my goods to get those. They started throwing them out to the audience. Get your mind out of the gutter.

There You Ho Again

Well well well. I am going to try and thing of positive things to say today. Might be tough because I am crazy grouchy at the moment. I don't really have much to complain about, it's just been a clusterfuck of stupid nonsense. No worries, nothing of any significance, I am just grouchy. I think I need something really yummy for lunch. There are so many choices around my work though, I can't ever decide! Seriously, that the caliber of problems I have been having lately. I just need to shut up.

In other news, Ellen is in TEN days! We are almost in single digits! My stupid countdown has apparently quit working..so F you blogger app or whatever you're called. I don't know why you can't just WORK, dammit. Either way, I'm still going to Ellen in 10 days and it's going to be SO AWESOME.

Here are some other random thoughts I've had lately:

1. I got some new music lately (Vampire Weekend...such cuties!) and it has been rocking my face off on my bus rides. The only problem is I can't get up and dance. And yes, I know technically I could, but really? Who would do that? Crazy people and I'm not in that category, thank you.

2. I can't believe all the press over Tiger and his "apology." First of all, he doesn't owe anyone except his poor wife and kids an apology. There were golf fans on TV this morning, one saying she had forgiven him and the other saying he hadn't. And both of them are total idiots. This is what happens when stupid people put other stupid people up on pedastals just because they are exceptionally good at something. Why hasn't America gotten used to athletes and other people with big talent and small brains failing them? Being famous does not make you smart, interesting, or role-model worthy. I have so many thoughts about this but I can't articulate them properly right now. Maybe I never will and will consequently do the right thing by not giving this ho bag any more attention because he doesn't really need it. Good plan. Tiger, I am done with you and your ho (Ludacris says hoe I say ho...tomato, tomato) ways. Everyone knows you can't turn a ho into a house[husband], ho's don't act right! Great song.

3. I also can't believe that in today's crazy world of super fast communication, I am still managing to have trouble understanding people. I mean really, we have emails, text messages, facebook messages, voice mail, cell phones, smoke signals, g chat, blogging, snail mail, phone calls, Morse code, twitter, etc, etc, etc and somehow I still can't get my message across to some people. Blows my mind. I think the problem comes in when you're not totally honest with people. But, I was thinking about this yesterday and I don't really think honesty is always the best policy. Most of the time, yes. But usually, in my case anyways, my honesty would make me look like a crazy person. Or rather, if I said everything I thought/wanted to say...I would look totally insane. And rude. And kind of slutty. And awkward. But mainly crazy. Completely crazy.

Ok. Right. So I am veering way off from positive. So to end things with a smile, Pandora is awesome. It's Friday! It's almost lunch time (where to go, where to GO???). Ellen is in 10 days! And, I have awesome friends. Good talk.

Dream big people!

...but got elected TWICE??

HAPPY PRESIDENT'S DAY EVERYONE! This goober holiday will always hold a special place in my heart thanks to some super awesome homemade t-shirts, an explosion of Dr. Bob soda, and some really great friends at PC.


Here's a fun fact: Grover Cleveland (aka Uncle Jumbo) was the only president to be elected to two terms non-consecutively. Fascinating, no?

Hope everyone enjoys appreciating presidents today. I didn't find Mr. Lautner last night, sadly. But I am not giving up hope. I know he is around here somewhere, so I'll keep...

dreaming big people!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Or as a friend likes to call, Happy Singles Awareness Day! I celebrated last night in "We-Ho" (West Hollywood) with a whole lot of beautiful gay men. Good for dancing and eye candy, no good for finding a Valentine. Hoping things will be different tonight when I go out in regular Hollywood!

And I would like to give a special V-day shout-out to my super awesome BFF, Whitney who is one of the coolest, most fantastic people I know and I hope she has a really great Valentine's day because she totally deserves it. And I love her a lot. Hooray Whitney!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic day full of love! And conversation hearts! Even though I have some beef with them because the ones I bought recently taste different and less delicious than before, so I don't know what is going on. I might have to switch Valentine's candy....

Dream big people! Love to all :)

All Aboard...

....the craaazzzzzyyyyy [bus] (Ozzy style). That is what I was on today on the way home! It was total insanity. I got on later than usual...but earlier than I have before. So it was this weird in-between time that I will never ever be doing again. First, I get on and there are two loud ass girls eating their McDonald's dinner listening to a boom box, breaking all kinds of rules. And they were talking all loud like everyone wanted to hear their business. Oh, whoa whoa, I almost forgot. That was really second because FIRST there was a CLOWN at my bus stop who got on with me. And when I say clown, I mean straight up clown. Face paint, big shoes, wig, red nose, the whole deal..and he looked Asian. Then I got on the bus and oddly enough, he fit in better than I did. The bus driver had very similar make up to the clown and there was a guy with pig-tail dreads.

Just when I was thinking that was strange, more people started getting on and it turned into a party bus. People were connecting, catching up with old friends, laughing, having a good ole time. I missed a lot of it because I was blasting my music so I could drown everyone out (thank GOODNESS for ipods) but I would catch bits and pieces when a song stopped. Two men in front of me were having a Jesus talk...one was witnessing, the other was listening intently. Then a homeless man joined in the convo and was telling them how he died on the operating table exactly 8 years today. It was declared a miracle by the witnesser. The other man agreed. Then Bon Jovi came on and I stopped listening. On the next lull I hear an extremely loud man lamenting about how he got on the wrong bus, but then he made a friend with a man selling Harry Potter books and I think it cheered him up a bit. At one point, a woman with two teeth got on yelling "Fuck me? Oh no, fuck you muthafucka," whilst drinking orange Arizona iced tea out of an extra big can. I suspect she had mixed it with something. I paused my ipod for a bit while she ranted because it was entertaining. She then made a friend and then started crying because she "lost her grandmamma yesterday." This lady looked about 50 so I was impressed she still had a grandmamma (until recently I guess). Then the Jesus guy gets off, but first he gives the other man what looked like a movie ticket to his church and the other guy (who was very white) was all, "Thanks brah (or however you spell the slang version of bro)" to the Jesus guy (who was very black). It made me cringe a little. He was trying so hard! I don't think Jesus guy minded though, he seemed pretty pleased with his new friend. There was also a guy in a wheelchair selling all sorts of trinkets who made friends with the miracle man, who was also selling trinkets, only his were in a garbage bag.

In short, the bus ride home was like a crazy people meet and greet. No one told me. The clown got off on my stop and I thought about being his friend...just to see what his deal was. But I was hungry and decided talking to Asian clowns in the El Salvadorian ghetto during rush hour traffic is probably not the smartest of ideas. So here I am at home, with no new friends. Sad times for me. Maybe tomorrow.

Dream BIG people. Adios

Big Fail, LA

So I have now been to three grocery stores and cannot find any pizza crust. WHAT IS GOING ON LA???? All I want is an already made pizza crust, ready to be topped and cooked in the oven...not something you have to roll out yourself and not something that is already topped. Why can't you offer this to me? I mean, you have everything else that I could ever want to eat, including "southern delicacies" like red velvet cake, fried chicken, and even sweet tea (only at McDonalds)! Not to mention a whole host of exotic and slightly scary looking foods I wouldn't ever want to eat. And you can offer it to me at all hours of the night and you mean to tell me I can't get a freakin pizza crust?? WHAT GIVES?

Sigh. It really wouldn't bother me all that much if I hadn't already bought all the toppings.

Speaking of fail, LA also fails in the public transportation company department. Seriously, the metro system is completely retarded here and it's website is the biggest pile of crap I have ever encountered. I would think with a huge ass city like LA it would have its self together. Nay.

Whatever. My foot hurt crazy bad again last night and it's really starting to upset me. In other news, I got a physical today and good news-I don't have HIV! Not that I ever thought I did...but the nurse asked if I wanted the test at no extra charge and I thought, why the hell not? I've been listening to a lot of RENT lately. You can never be too careful. Bad news-she couldn't do anything about my foot. It kept me up last night and I was sooo tired today at work. So I got some McDonald's coffee...which was good and bad. Good because it was super cheap. Bad because they didn't' have the fun flavors like they normally do (it was a food court McDonalds) and also bad because there were lots of crazy homeless men hanging around and they were annoying. The guy in front of me asked the cashier if she knew who Barack Obama was. I didn't hear her answer. There are lots of crazy people here that talk to themselves. Today I heard this guy behind me talking in this crazy gangster voice and was all, yeah girl, I'd like to take you to breakfast. You know what's up. And I was like, whaaa? And then I turned around and realized he was on the phone. And I was both relieved and disappointed. Because on one hand, that is rude and awkward. On the other hand, I secretly like getting hit on, even if it is by creepsters. It is so rare I get hit on...it's a nice little confidence booster...even if it is a person who looks like they haven't showered in three months.

Well now I'm just rambling. And looking pretty pathetic, at that. So I'll stop. Ellen is getting closer every second!!!!

Dream big people!

That's what she said

Whaaaat UP people. I am in a strangely good mood right now. I say strangely because my stomach has been acting all kinds of crazy the last two days and my foot (where I broke it) has really been hurting me lately. Currently, I am in desperate need of some Tums and perhaps a cast. The stomach issues may because of the excessive amount of dairy products I have been eating lately. I really just can't help myself though. Cheese is so good. I realized yesterday when I got home I bought five different varieties. I am not kidding. And my foot is probably mad at me because I wore heels out Friday night and then went on a pretty extensive hike on Sunday. Now it is revolting by hurting and waking me up at night. Dammit. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it! I guess no more hikes :( And no more heels :( :(. We'll see how long that lasts.

Anyways, for some good news. I got my ELLEN tickets in the mail today!!!!!!!!! EXCITING!!!! I was a little disappointed to find out you are not allowed to wear t-shirts because that threw my plan off a little bit. I'm not giving it away totally, but it involved making a shirt and getting noticed. So that's out. No worries, on to plan B. You are also not supposed to wear tennis shoes. Which I think is a little hypocritical because Ellen wears tennis shoes all the time. And if she's not wearing tennis shoes, she's wearing ugly shoes. Sorry Ellen, I love and you're my favorite ever...but you have bad taste in shoes. But you also have a hugely successful TV, so who gives a crap what I think?

OH! And I spotted my first celebrity today!!!! It was...Meredith from The Office! Exciting! She was at the grocery store tonight. Blakely and I stopped by to get some food stuffs and I walked around the corner and there she was, just standing in line. And I was like, I know that woman. I seriously thought for a second she was someone I knew from home and I almost went up to her. And then I realized who she was and started laughing because I am such a tard. Blakely was behind me and she was making this weird face and I thought it was because she saw her too, and it was making me laugh more. Turns out, she was making a "WTF is up with this ridiculously long line at Ralphs" face and I just looked immature and crazy for giggling over seeing Meredith from The Office. Good thing I didn't talk to her though, because I don't actually know her name. Which is sad. But true.

HAHA! I just looked her up on the Internet...her name is Kate Flannery and she has a twin sister. So maybe I saw the twin and not really her. Haha, I guess we'll never know! Man, I think that's funny.

Anyways. Other than the possible Meredith from The Office, I haven't seen any other famous people. That I know of. Still got my eyes peeled for Taylor. I think he recently turned 18!

In other news, things are good. Don't have any particularly interesting bus stories. There were some seriously smelly people on there today...they had that homeless people funk and it was a little rough. And this really cute boy that I see all the time on my bus sat next to me. There was no conversation or even eye contact involved, but I think it's a step in the right direction. I thought about saying something about the smell, but that would have been a little rude since the smelly people were only a few seats away from me. They totally would have heard me. And they both had crazy eyes, so I didn't want to upset them.

Also, I had a really good weekend. I went dancing in Hollywood and downtown LA and just felt super cool the whole time. I wasn't feeling so cool when I was crazy hungover on Saturday morning, but I rallied, don't worry. Blakely and I hiked on Sunday and it was sooo pretty. And then we watched "Lady and the Tramp" and it was awesome. Blakely had never seen it! I'm glad I could help her change her life for the better.

Ok, well that's it for me. I'm going to take some Tylenol PM tonight...show that foot who's boss.

Dream big people! Only 18 days till ELLEN!!!!! :)

Grandmas are awesome

My Grandma, especially! She is doing better and feeling good. Hooray!

These Grandmas are also awesome:


I don't really know what is going on...something about Tim Tebow getting an ad during the Superbowl for anti-abortion. Either way, these ladies are rocking my face off. You tell em! Women's rights, right on Grannies! I'm with you!

A corndog is just a hotdog wrapped in a delicious sweater

Yessss....best advertisement EVER. And I'm pretty sure it was a for a gas station corndog and that makes it 1000 times even more fabulous. Another good one is a bench that says "We Cater to Dental Chickens!" that is advertising for a dentist's office. It really took me a good minute or so to figure out what they were talking about. And if you haven't caught on yet, it means they are a dentist for little kids who are afraid of the dentist. Not sure who told them that tag line was a good idea, but whatever.

Good news! Germaine is getting better! They moved her to the neurology ICU and things starting looking up. I have been told it was thanks to the power of prayer, but I personally inclined to believe that is because very smart people who knew what they were doing started taking care of her. Or maybe it was all the facebook posts and profile picture changes. I guess we'll never know. I am really happy though! Thanks to anyone who sent good thoughts (or prayers) her way. :)

No fun bus stories today. I take a bus hiatus on the weekends, which is lovely. I'll be back there first thing tomorrow morning though! Last night was super fun...we went to an art opening at a museum, where there was an open bar (yes please!) and I walked around looking at some interesting art, in total disbelief that it was really worth as much as people said it was. I seriously do not understand "art" sometimes. Especially because some of these "pieces" were literally just interesting looking sticks. I mean, the artist didn't even make them! All she did was gather them up and put them on a shelf. Voila, art! Anyways, after that we went to a Korean bar, where my friends and I were the only white people. Then we went to In and Out burger (my first time!) where I was surprised to learn there are only like, 5 items on their menu. And lastly we went to the Mexican version of Waffle House and we were once again, the only white people. We had to peace out early though cause shit was about to go down. There was a very angry man who had hot sauce thrown all in his face and was yelling things about being El Salvadorian and how we all should know how "we do." I didn't want to find out what that meant.

So that's my weekend. The post will say it was posted last week..but don't be fooled. It is M0nday morning and I'm crazy hungry. I kind of want a corndog...

Dream big people!

Do your boobs hang low?

Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

Thoughts for Germaine please. She is not doing so well in the hospital right now. And she's awesome (as you can see from the picture) and doesn't deserve all the pain she's in. Get well Germaine! I love you and am singing "Do Your Boobs Hang Low" over here in Cali for you (to the tune of "Do Your Ears Hang Low")....I know it's your favorite.

The wheels on the bus...

La la la, I'm still in LA and the weather is improving and everything is just rocking my face off. Well...my job is slightly frustrating sometimes. Hopefully everything will start working itself out, though, once I get into a system and don't have a million questions about everything. I like it though. And I love staying with my friend, we have the best time!

The only thing that is slightly annoying is the bus riding. And that is really only slightly. I don't like paying for it. But I think I would like paying for a car even less, so I deal. Also, the bus seats are really uncomfortable and people on the bus just kind of make me hate people. They can be so rude and ridiculous! I feel like I could write a blog everyday about the dumb stuff that happens on the bus. Maybe I will. I'll start now.

The bus is such a weird little place. Everyone is in their own little world, for the most part. I am...I put in my headphones and don't make eye contact with anyone. I try to get some reading done. It makes my head hurt after a while though, so I don't get very far. Some people get some sleep on the way to or from work. Some people like to try and start really awkward conversations with you and it gets uncomfortable. High school kids like to talk really loudly about stupid high school things and/or listen to their music REALLY loud. Yesterday a guy next to me (probably in his 30s) was blaring "Dancing Queen" and it was making me laugh. And some people like to use their bus time to chat on the phone, which is fine. Except when you are talking so loudly that the entire bus can hear your business, even someone with headphones in with volume turned up really loud. IE:me. Yesterday this stupid guy in front of me was just chatting it up with a friend and he was doing a lot of cussing and movie quoting. It was really lame. This morning some stupid girl had her bag in a sit and she was all reluctant to let this old woman sit down. She was all, uhhh, but my bag is there. Really? You really think someone is going to stand up and let you keep a seat for your bag? Rude.

This afternoon was the worst though. I didn't see the car pull up, but apparently this car pulled in front of the bus, stopped really quickly in the bus lane and then the passenger got out and got on the bus. Here is how the conversation went down.
Bus Driver (She is very angry and has very long bright orange fake nails with sparkles): ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WHY WOULD YOU PULL IN FRONT OF THE BUS AND THEN STOP ON A DIME LIKE IT AIN'T NO THING?
Bus Rider (She seems very out of it, is wearing a Greenpeace t-shirt and a bandanna type thing on her head that says something about peace and happiness): You're right. I'm sorry.
Bus Driver: AND YOU STOPPED IN THE BUS LANE, WHERE YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE. THAT WAS JUST STUPID.
Bus Rider: I know. I'm not from here. I'm sorry.
Bus Driver: IT DON'T MATTER WHERE YOU FROM, THAT WAS JUST STUPID. IT'S NOT ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE FROM....
Bus Rider: nodding head furiously, You're right. I wasn't driving, I'm...
Bus Driver: waving fake nails around, PEOPLE DON'T HAVE ANY SENSE. NO COMMON SENSE AT ALL. MOVE ON.
Bus Rider: (this is my favorite part) God bless you.
Bus Driver: sputtering, obviously taken aback by this fool (as was I), GOD BLESS YOU FOR DRIVING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON! HUFF HUFF.
Bus Rider: Doesn't seem the least bit fazed...walks to the back.
Bus Driver: after a few minutes....YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR DRIVER AND TELL THEM TO LEARN TO DRIVE! God bless you...please.

I don't know what the rider thought about that because she was behind me and I had turned my music up REALLY loud at this point. Ugh, I was so uncomfortable! I hate listening to people argue and it's especially awkward on the bus because you have an audience and things can get volatile if you're not careful. Plus I was like, um, did she just say "god bless you?" Doodoo! Some people. I was in a really good mood though because I watched some Ellen before I left school (we have a TV there) and it made me SO happy because I'll be there in a month! I'm so excited, I really just can't even stand it. It almost hurt to watch, I wanted to be there RIGHT NOW!

I guess we'll see what tomorrow's bus rides bring! Stay tuned! I have to check on my chicken pot pie...that's right, I'm COOKING! Crazy!

Dream BIG people :)

OH HAPPY DAY

Today is a FANTASTIC day! I got a phone call while I was at work today and it was someone from the Ellen show saying that I GOT TICKETS FOR A SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is seriously so great people. I could not be happier right now. Moving to LA was a good decision on my part. Good job self. The show is March 1 and I don't have any details right now because I didn't actually talk to the woman, but I will be calling her every hour tomorrow until this is officially confirmed.

In other news, I gave my first tour of Santa Monica today to the new students. It was kind of a struggle since I didn't really know where everything was. Also, it was extremely loud and bright and the poor kid from France didn't understand a damn thing I said. But on the bright side, it stopped raining! Hooray!

Dreams really do come true, so dream BIG people!

:)

Are.You.For.Real.

I just got off the bus and there was a woman sitting next to me CLIPPING HER NAILS.

No joke.

I was so disgusted. The sound was killing me AND one of them jumped over onto me. It was horrible. And no one was even around to laugh with me. So I looked like a crazy person laughing by myself into the window. So that made two crazies sitting in the same row on the bus.

Ooooh. LA. You are some kind of crazy. Oh, and it hailed today. WHAT? Where are you sunny California? Please make an appearance soon or I'm going to have to move to the equator.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

So when I got to LA the weather was gorgeous! I was bragging to everyone at home about how lovely and warm it was. And now it has been raining for the past four days and isn't scheduled to stop for another 3. So that's awesome. SIKE. And of course, it doesn't normally rain like this (story of my life), only since I got here. But, it's not the worst thing in the world I guess. I can deal with rain. I've lived through hurricanes. And, it'll get me more prepared for Amsterdam! Where it rains more than not and snows too. If Amsterdam happens. Anyways, it's gotten chilly as well, so that sucks in the morning but it's totally going to be worth it when the weather is awesome in the spring and summer. Can't wait.

Anywho-the job is going really well! I actually like it a lot and am looking forward to what is to come. It's in the slow season right now, but it'll pick up soon and it'll be FUN, I just know it. Oh yeah, I guess I never explained the job. I'm the housing and admissions coordinator (I know, fancy title, right?) at a language school that teaches English to kids from all over the world. I get to meet lots of cool interesting people with fun accents and it's a block from the beach! Woo hooo! It's pretty far from where I live, but I honestly don't mind the bus ride. I mean, it's not my favorite thing in the world, but I can definitely deal for now.

In other news, LA is just really fun in general. I have lots of fun friends here and there are so many random things to see and do. I tried to get up close and personal with the Hollywood sign, but it was too foggy to really see. I can't wait for the weather to get nice so I can truly enjoy the sunny Cali weather. I have not spotted any celebrities yet, but I don't really care. Until I cross paths with Taylor Lautner, no one else really matters. I also have to wait until he turns 18, so I think I've got some time. Oh, and today I ate some Greek yogurt and my stomach freaked out on me. I think it was made because it thought it was back in Greece, being forced to eat all kinds of odd things it doesn't really enjoy. But don't worry, it's back to normal now and we're getting along just fine. It otherwise enjoys LA.

That's all for now. Dream big people!

Employed!

Hey hey hey! So I got a job! Yay, go me! I have a fancy title and everything! More about it later though because we don't currently have the internet at the house and I'm on a time budget. So, more later. Hooray paychecks!

Dream BIG people!

Hollywood...Whas your dream?

Everybody's got a dream. Quick! Name that movie.

That is what I say every time I hear someone say Hollywood. It's from Pretty Woman, right at the very end when that crazy man is wandering around talking to himself. Which a lot of people do here actually, so it's pretty realistic. There are LOTS of crazy people here.

Sooo anyways...I'm in LA! Hooray! After my stay at the Comfort Inn, I managed to make it back to the airport at 5 in the morning (it was a little rough) and got to LA with no problems. In fact, it was pretty fantastic when I got here because it was SEVENTY degrees. 70. Glorious. I am so in love. When I was in Atlanta, waiting on the shuttle, it was TWENTY degrees. 20. That was horrible. But, now that is literally, all behind me and I am enjoying this fabulous California weather.

Saturday when I got here, I got a little driving tour of the city, ate a delicious Brazilian brunch and moved into my new, tiny, awesome room. My friend in LA is being beyond gracious and wonderful and made me a little space in her apartment that is super cute. A little cramped, but cute and comfy and really generous of her. She lives in kind of the Hispanic ghetto, down the street from the Korean ghetto, but the house her apartment is in is really nice. And it's on the historic registry, so that's cool too.

Today we went on one of those super touristy double decker bus tours of the city and it was SO fun. We did the "Hop On/Hop Off" option and started off at the big famous Chinese theater and rode around on that thing for like, five hours. And we were on an Ellen bus, which made the whole thing even better. Oh yeah! And, when we walked up from the parking garage, they were playing MY JAM! It was so awesome. Heaven on Earth was the first thing greeting me in Hollywood (whas your dream?) and I totally think it was a sign. Hollywood loves me and is ready for me. I'm excited. Anywho, we rode all over the place, through Beverly Hills, the beach, etc. We hopped off at the Santa Monica pier, which is pretty sketch and gross, had some ice cream and quickly hopped back on because it was very "Jersey Shore" esque and grossing me out. Sadly, we didn't get to go through downtown because the bus stopped running at a certain time. It was some really good times though.

Our Ellen bus!! YAY Ellen!

Pretty ocean/Nasty pier

All in all, LA is good so far. I think I'm going to like it here. More to come as the job search continues.

Dream big people!

We at the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn

Only not the Holiday Inn, the Comfort Inn. Which is where I currently am residing as I missed my connecting flight to LA by 10 minutes. My first flight from Jacksonville was delayed an hour and I just missed the connecting one. And apparently there are NO flights from Atlanta to LA before 7:25 tomorrow morning. Which is just very depressing because I have to be back at the airport at 5. AM. Sooo early :( But, at least they put me in a hotel because I was told at first I wouldn't get a voucher and I was trying to convince myself hanging out in the airport terminal wouldn't be so bad. I was telling myself it would be interesting and I would meet cool people. But, I guess I'll never know. And I hope I never do, honestly.

The only reason I really wanted to get to LA earlier was because I had a job interview at 10 tomorrow morning. So I'm hoping and crossing my fingers really hard that he will let me reschedule. It would be a really cool job.

I kinda like this hotel business. It's funny because I always pack an extra set of clothes and some overnight stuff just in case I ever got this situation. And I never have before so when I was packing, I only did it half ass this time and look where I am. OF COURSE! But, it's ok because I got the essentials...clean undies and socks, a toothbrush, deodorant, and even a new shirt for tomorrow. And I got a little excited at first because I thought I packed Pinky in my carry on, but it turns out I stuck her in my luggage at the last minute. Poor Pinky, she has to stay at the airport and I'm all cozy here at the Comfort Inn.

And oddly enough, even though EVERY SINGLE TIME I fly, I have some sort of drama/ridiculous situation and nothing goes as planned, I still really love flying. I love the whole process, even though it is all a huge pain in the ass. It's a love/hate relationship I guess. I think I just really love it because it means I'm going somewhere and a new adventure is waiting for me. Like tomorrow, off to LA, where Taylor Lautner is going to meet his soul mate (me), as soon as he is legal.

Night night from the ATL. Dream BIG people!

Happy New Year!

I know I'm a little behind on the well wishes, but I wanted to tell everyone anyways. Hope everyone has a super fantastic 2010. 2009 was an interesting combination of rocking and sucking...so I'm hoping this year will be more rocking and less sucking. Fingers crossed.

Anyways, my New Years Eve was pretty nice...it's always a good time when I can get together with my college friends and this time was no exception. I'm hanging out in Florida now and I'm a little upset because it is FREEZING here. Literally, there was a freeze warning last night. And of course, my friends heat in her house is broken so I'm cold all the time. No good. But, I head out of here and to LA on Friday and hopefully the heat there will not be broken. I am super nervous/excited about the big move right now. I don't really know what to say about it just yet, I literally have no idea what to expect. So I'll just have to keep you posted. Until then...

dream big people....it's a new year :)

I wanted more of a sassy walk off

So yesterday I had written a positive spin on my post, talking about how much I had learned from TV...but apparently that part got erased. So I just wanted to post today (for all two of my readers) and say that things are better. I watched a lot of housewife TV yesterday and it made me realize some things.

1. I am really looking forward to being old and awesome like the Golden Girls. I am hoping to be more platinum when I'm old (get it, rich!) but just as cool. Those ladies are fabulous and wear the best clothes and I can't wait to be just like them! And I get to live in Miami, which will be great because it stays nice and warm there.

2. TLC's What Not To Wear is another fabulous show. Makes me realize I could be waaay worse off. I know I'm not especially fashionable, but I am definitely not struggling like some of those people. And one woman I saw was just downright hateful, rude and extremely unappreciative. Who wouldn't appreciate FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of free clothes!?! Apparently not this heinous bitch. In short, I'm glad I'm not horrible like her. It also makes me miss Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That show was fantastic.

3. There is another show but refuse to watch about little girls in beauty pageants, but I see the commercials all the time. That's where the sassy walk off line is from...one of the moms is mad at her little girl because there is too much skipping in her walk. It's really ridiculous. Then the host person is talking about how little girl pageants is his PASSION. Which is kind of creepy. How do you get passionate about something like that? Those girls are so sad and weird looking. But, whatever, to each his own I guess.

And on a side note, my brother is a lot cooler than I give him credit for. Sometimes. Like yesterday.

Now I need to finish packing. As soon as I finish watching The O.C. It's sooo dramatic, I love it! I'm really close to being finished (with packing) and am hoping to de-stress enough to be excited. I wonder how many "last nights" I'm going to have....

Dream big people.

jacky and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Is it even legal for me to take the title of that book and just change one word? I hope so. Just to cover my back, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" is by Judith Viorst, is fantastic and in no way my own orginal combination of words.

It is just how my day went. It just really sucked a lot. A highlight was lunch with a friend at one of my favorite sushi restuarants, but I had trouble enjoying it because I was so upset. Money issues have been dragging me down lately and I hate that, but I guess that's what happens when you go unemployed for months at a time. I did have other highlights I guess. My brother turned out to be a lot cooler than I had been thinking lately and I watched like, four episodes of Golden Girls and it really did make my life better. GG therapy...you should try it. Then I watched some What Not to Wear and that made me happy too. Man, I did a lot of TV watching today. Shame. I guess sometimes you need it. I'm just stressing about the big move and questioning if it really is a good idea. Part of me thinks it's totally ridiculous and stupid, but another part of me knows that I really need to leave Charleston and should at least give LA a try. I'm just going to get back to packing and look forward to tomorrow not sucking so bad.

Dream big people.

Merry Christmas To All...

....And To All, A Good Night :)

Making a list, checking it twice

I don't really feel like writing, so I'm just going to make a list of my random thoughts lately. Do with them what you will.

1. Sixteen candles is a super fabulous movie. "No, he's not retarded..." CLASSIC.

2. I am getting really excited about being famous in LA. Also really pumped to peace out of Charleston for a while.

3. I haaaattteeeee cold weather. Hate it.

4. I am really bitter right now. I wish I weren't, cause I feel I should be festive and jolly, but I'm not. I'm feeling more Grinch like.

5. My brother is super lame. Even if he did give me a the great new tag line I've been looking for.

6. Jon Stewart is fantastic. As is Stephen Colbert.

7. I am interested in knowing when I am going to finally learn my lesson when it comes to boys. Apparently not today.

8. People can get crazy when it comes to ham. This woman today was seriously stressing out. It took her 45 minutes to pick out a ham, no joke. It was ridiculous, I had to walk away. Also, I need to work on not shutting down when people piss me off. Two women came in today and one said "She doesn't find that amusing" in reference to me. I'll let you fill in the blanks, but obviously I was a little less than friendly. And I'm sorry, but when you demand that I open five hams without a please in there, I don't take kindly to it.

9. Conservative people are also crazy. But it's funny.

10. The Big Bang Theory is hilarious. I wish my computer didn't suck, I would watch episodes on line.

11. The "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" commercial with the Latin flavor is beyond amazing. Kudos to their marketing director.



12. I need to make a new life to-do list. It's flying by and I am not really prepared.

13. Oh my gosh, Tiger Woods, GO AWAY.

14. I CANNOT understand why Ray has the Christmas lights going off at 2:00 AM. Who is out admiring our lights at 2 in the morning? WHHHHOOOO????? Besides me, last night, when I was out driving Cody's dumb ass around.

15. I miss my right Converse shoe. Every time I see the left one I get a little sad I can't wear them...and a little depressed I can't afford to buy myself another pair.

That's it for now. Time for bed, I'm back on grandma schedule. I kind of like it. Night fools.

Dream big people.

Just a suggestion

Well dammit.

Things were going well, I was having a pretty fantastic week and then I got home today and everything went all to hell. But, I think things will be better tomorrow. Anyways, when I got home today I had some mail waiting on me and one was a super lovely bill for $200 for a doctor's appointment a few weeks ago. It was for blood work I had done that was a total waste of time and I'm just really pissed about the whole thing. The entire doctor experience just made me angry. Then I went upstairs and Under the Tuscan Sun was on and it made me sad. So here I am, pissed and sad and I should just go to bed. I'm headed that way soon, don't worry.

However, prior to this silly evening, things were going really well. I had some interesting experiences this past week that put a smile on my face. And last night we got second at trivia, which would make me a second place winner for two weeks in a row now. That basically makes me a genius. Only not really because I was not the only person playing and didn't really have that much to offer in the way of answers. But who's keeping track?

I also started working at the ham store this week and it's actually really entertaining and kind of fun. Plus I get free sandwiches and they are soooo good. The Santa gig is getting kind of old. It's super easy, but my manager annoys the shit out of me and being in the cold for hours at a time is not all that fun. The kids are fun, but that's where the fun ends. Only a few more days though, I think I can deal. Plus it's the holidays and it's almost Christmas so it's ok.

Well, I have more interesting things to say but the movie just keeps making me sadder, so I'm going to stop. Things will be better tomorrow.

Night night.

The party don't start till I walk in....

Don't ask me why, but I am so in love with that "Tik Tok" song. You know, "wake up in the morning feelin like P Diddy...." etc. I get really happy every time I hear it. I imagine that is what life is going to be like in LA. I'll brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, smack boys that are too drunk, and so on. It's going to be great.

But for now, life is not as interesting. The jobs are going ok, nothing exciting. I am, surprise, not a fantastic salesperson, but I am getting good at taking pictures and running the register. And at the Santa job the other day a little girl asked me if Santa was my dad. It was pretty funny.

On Monday I went on a little road trip to PC to ask for recommendations and get transcripts, which turned out to be a lovely little visit. I got to see old professors and friends I haven't seen in a while and it was really nice. It was only slightly cumbersome to keep explaining my life over the last couple of months over and over again. Everyone had different questions and comments though, so it was fine I guess. I also stopped by my high school on the way home and the secretary asked if I was a senior. Haha, just when I was thinking I maybe looked age appropriate. NOPE! Good times.

Currently, I am in the process of applying to grad school...in Amsterdam. So it's pretty challenging/frustrating/confusing/expensive. I am trying to focus on the end product though and how it would be so freaking AWESOME to go to school in Amsterdam, so I keep on pushing through. I only have a few things left, so I'm hoping to get it done soon. Cross your fingers for me!

Oh, and I got a new phone yesterday. I really just wanted a newer model of the one I already had but apparently they don't make those anymore. The phone store guy was straight up making fun of me and how old my phone was. Whatever phone store guy! I totally love my old phone! In fact, I might just take the SIM card out of the new one and go back to it. It's small, fits in my pocket and does everything I want it too. The new one is bigger, doesn't do everything I want and does way more than I would ever want or need. I'm going to give it a fair chance and test run it for a few days, but it's not looking good. It doesn't do basic stuff, like allow me to block numbers, use my own music for a ring tone, and convert money for me. Old phone did all that and we got along just fine, thank you. I don't know why I'm so resistant to the newer phone models. I think it's kind of because whenever I see people that are constantly on their phones and think they are all super awesome, I think they are pretty lame and I don't want to be like that. Old phone keeps me grounded. And we went through a lot together, it's like an old friend.

So that's that. Back to writing a motivation statement.

Working Machine

I am back to my old ways of multiple jobs. Which isn't a bad thing, because I like being busy. However, it does mean more encounters with the public, which is not my favorite thing in the world. But, we are going to think positive because it does mean I get three paychecks and though they are small, it's still real money. Three months of no job has taken it's toll on my bank account and I would like to see more happening on the deposit side of my account. It is currently dominated by the withdrawal side and it's really just kind of depressing. I also can't control my spending. I try to just avoid going in stores but sometimes it can't be helped. Today I went to Michaels and had a freaking field day. There are so many cute things in there and I bought all this ridiculously cute stuff to make Christmas cards with. Then I kept seeing things I could make/buy for gifts and I just couldn't not buy them. So really, I'm being totally selfless because I'm buying gifts. Ok, that's kind of a stretch because I bought myself something too, but I like to put a positive spin on things.

And although I'm pretty sure it's wishful thinking, I would like to think that after this year, my time at really stupid jobs are over. I do not like being trained by ridiculous people that think I am an idiot just because I am taking a part time job. I can read and I also know how to count change. Tonight my new boss literally read my contract aloud to me and then asked at least four times if I knew how to make change in my head JUST in case I hit the button on the cash register too soon and the amount I am supposed to give as change goes away. And then he asked if my mind was blown after he explained how to make a transaction AND issue a refund in the span of 10 minutes. I mean, it was A LOT to process, but somehow my mind stayed intact. UGH. People. I need to dust off that resume and get it looking nice and impressive for LA.

In other news, today I shot a handgun, a shotgun and a rifle. At targets, not people. Pretty sure I wasn't anywhere close to hitting the targets, but it was still pretty exciting. I also tried to have a nice discussion about food with my dad and brother and they just were not having it. Apparently they are not as into discussing where they like to eat as much as I am. I need Katrina for that. Also, we didn't really agree on what's good and what's not. They have bad taste, I don't. It was difficult.

I'm back to my old woman ways of going to bed early and not being interested in leaving the house. I think it's the cold weather. I HATE COLD WEATHER. I am seriously going to look into moving somewhere near the equator permanently. Who's with me? And don't tease me because I really want to do it.

In the meantime, I am roadtripping to PC next week and I'm really pumped. You should be too.

Adios amigos.

Hi December!

I only wrote four posts in November and that makes me a little sad. So I'm getting December off to a good start and am going to try and do better this month. Not making any promises.

I'm currently watching the Biggest Loser and have some thoughts. First off, I'm kind of ashamed that I got sucked into this nonsense. Reality TV makes me so sad, but my family was all about it in Florida and I got all involved. And it's not that I really even like this show, there is way to much crying and too many dramatic pauses. Also, Jillian whatsherface sucks. More on her later. But I do like to see how much these people change. It's crazy how much better they look! I mean, I know that sounds awful, but they do! They just ran a marathon and that is crazy awesome. I am doing good to run a mile, so running 26.2 is completely unreal to me. Especially these people that were hugely overweight just a few short weeks ago. Go them. It makes me feel pretty lazy. I wish it inspired me to go run, but it actually does the opposite. It makes me grateful I am not hugely fat and then I go eat some ice cream. So that's not good. I mean, I see how great they look after losing weight, so seeing that I'm already crazy hot, if I lost some weight, imagine how fabulous I would look. It could potentially blow your mind. Also, I don't think it's fair that they put the men and women against each other...it's a lot easier for men to lose weight (or so I've heard) and it's ridiculous to pit them against each other. Lastly, Jillian is just a little much for me and I don't like her. Especially after reading an interview with her (it was at the doctor's office, there were no other options) and she said walking is for losers...or something along those lines. I am so happy for you, Jillian, that you get to stay fit for a living and have the money to exercise all the time and eat organic food, but not everyone has that luxury. So shut your ugly skinny face. I like Bob and his cool shoes, interesting voice and sweet tats.

Moving on. I think I got another job today. We'll see. As far as the elf gig, it's going ok so far. I'm happy it's only a seasonal job, but it's really not bad. It gets chilly for sure, but everyone I work with is nice and it's fun to watch how different kids react to Santa. Most of them are really cute, but we have a few that freak out and it's pretty funny. We have lots of rich yuppy Mt. Pleasant parents, but most people are nice. And last week we had pet night and that was really fun. We had probably 20 dogs come get their picture with Santa and most of them were sooo cute! Some were slobbery and I didn't like that...and one scratched my face, but for the most part it was fun.

Anyways, if anyone needs to check if they are on the naughty or nice list this year, let me know and I'll hook you up. Me and Santa are pretty tight. Santa is a borderline creepster, but overall a pretty nice guy.

Side note: I bought my ticket to LA! It's official, I'm going. Makes me a little nervous, but I think it's going to be a good thing.

And last but not least, a shout out to my buddy Katy B, who's message made me smile real big tonight. Thanks Katy! :)

Ciao people.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's been awhile. So sorry friends, but seriously, there hasn't been much to blog on. And, I'm tired and cranky most of the time, so you don't want to listen to me anyways. BUT-today is Thanksgiving and I'm going to be cheerful. And short, subsequently.

Mainly I just wanted to reiterate how much I love Jimmy Fallon. I love him. I can't wait to be famous so I can go on his show and we will have the BEST time EVER and it will be fabulous. He is so freaking funny! Also, I've noticed he isn't wearing a wedding ring. I'm just saying. That probably means nothing and is like, the new, cool thing in Hollywood. Whatever.

Oh yeah-I made a bombass apple pie for Thanksgiving. ALL by myself! My mom stood there and told me what to do, but the actions were all me. And it was pretty freaking tasty, I have to admit. I'm pretty much a baker now.

Let's see. I start my elf job on Saturday! I mean, I'm not really an elf, more of a "helper," but I think it's funnier to say elf. Even though we are very drab elves and have to wear all black. For some good news, we don't have to wear turtlenecks. Rejoice! I hate turtlenecks. They look stupid on everyone and my neck doesn't like to be suffocated.

I watched "Angles and Demons" tonight and it made me sad because it's all in Rome and I miss it. Then I read online that it was all filmed in a studio in LA and that gave me hope because I'm going to LA. So maybe I'll wander into a recreated Rome somewhere and it'll be just as good. Probably not, but I'll keep dreaming.

I'm sure you have all heard that Oprah's show is going off the air in 2011. Don't be sad people, because that means there will be an open slot for THE JACKY SHOW! Only my show will be better than Oprah's because there will be NO depressing and intense shows like she sometimes has. There will just be more awesomeness because it will be me, so it's a win-win for everyone. Ciao Oprah, Ciao Jacky! haha, get it? It means hello and goodbye!

I need to go to bed. Ciao!

Beat It

That is what I wanted to say to the stupid ass drunk girls at The Elbow Room while watching Who's Bad. They were freakin ridiculous! I don't normally like getting into altercations with complete strangers, but I was ready to rumble with these bitches. Their concert etiquette was nonexistent and it was really annoying. In my opinion, shoving your way to the front and then just standing there is not acceptable. Also, if you leave your spot and someone else moves into it, I'm sorry, it's lost forever. Especially if you had a prime one right at the front. We paid the same price to stand and you don't get to reclaim your spot if you leave. If you leave, don't look back. That's what I always say. And before I move to something positive, if you do happen to get a good spot at the front, don't just stand there! JUST DANCE. If you're not going to, make way for someone that knows how to behave at a concert. Thank you.

On the other hand, the concert was AMAZING. So so sooo SO good! Other than the idiot girls, I loved every minute of it. Who's Bad is a Michael Jackson cover band and they do such a good job. Oh, and I forgot my MJ hat and that was sad. I didn't even remember that until just now, so really, not that big of a deal. Last night, I was so happy and dancing like a complete fool and life was really good. Sigh. I really just can't even describe it. It was so fabulous. And the whole experience was made even better because I got to go with my friend Sarah who is one of the only people I know that can appreciate a Michael Jackson cover band like I can...and like it needs to be. I'm only sad because they are not playing anywhere near me anytime soon. I'm also sad because the super cute trumpet player from the band was standing around after the show and I really wanted to talk to him. I wanted to ask his favorite MJ song and then we would talk and he'd be so impressed with me, he would ask if I wanted a job hanging out with the band and upping their cool factor and I would get to travel around jamming out to MJ every night and it would be so unbelievably awesome. Instead, I just said excuse me and gave him a high-five and left. SO LAME. That sucked. Damn, he was so cute too.

In other news, I got a part-time job. I am....wait for it.....here it comes....Santa's helper! Seriously. I will be helping take pictures with Santa Clause. I think it's going to be awesome. I also think it's going to be completly ridiculous. But my whole life is ridiculous, so it'll fit right in. I kind of want to get another part time job because I'll have time, but not having a car is kind of problem. We'll see.

Also, no one comments anymore and it's making me depressed. I need some feedback people! Make it happen.

K, bye. (said in the pothole voice from the Geico commercial)




PS-this video does not even begin to do them justice. I think they should consider re-doing it.

Wishful Thinking

If Go West is the king of wishful thinking, I am most definitely the queen. But I have been a Queen my whole life (NOT a princess!) so this is rather fitting, if you ask me. I have little dreams and big ones. I'm going to discuss both because it's midnight and I'm bored, not tired and putting off doing anything productive.

I decided today as I was walking I want to be famous. Not crazy famous where people want pieces of my hair or some crazy shit like that, but famous enough that I'll get something named after me somewhere. In addition to the jg scholarship of awesomeness at PC, of course. I'm thinking that renaming 526 the jg highway of awesomeness would be sufficient. Or a stretch of beach. Or something, whatever really. I mean, this might be kind of difficult since I don't really have any talent of any sort, but those are just minor details. Once I get good and famous and rich, I'm going to drop out of the public eye and travel around doing volunteer work because that is what I would really do with my life if I could make a living out of it. But I don't think I can, so I'll get rich and famous first, enjoy it for a bit, buy a beach house, give money to cool places like YCG, not be heard from for a few years and then have a major comeback so everyone will be happy to see me and then I'll have a talk show. I'm going to fill the hole Ellen leaves when she gets too old for her show. It's going to be a good life and I'm pretty pumped about it. Or even if I get to have 15 minutes of fame and be like, in a commercial or something, I would be pretty happy.

With that being said, I am moving to LA in January! I KNOW, pretty exciting, right? Getting famous will just be a side project though, because I have to find a real job first. My funds are getting low and that needs to be fixed. And if the famous thing doesn't work out, I'm going to leave the country again. Got some options in the works, so we'll see what pans out.

As for my little dreams, they are really more of a Christmas list. I need some new Rainbows...mine have a hole in them. The factory store is in LA, so maybe they are cheaper out there. I also want a really cool pair of tennis shoes. I really wanted to buy some while I was in Europe, but I kept cheaping out at the last second, so I never got any. I want some crazy ones with lots of colors and interesting shoelaces. If you see any on sale, let me know. I could stand some new clothes as well, but most of all, I want a new computer. I want one of those little mini ones. It would be better for traveling and in general, I'm all about mini things. I can't resist them and this is really something I just can't live without. Just like travel size lotion. I must have them. Plus, my current computer is struggling and I think it needs to be retired. It's lived a good life and deserves to relax.

So that's my story. The next year or so should be an interesting one. I'll keep you posted. :)

Ok Then

Lots of stuff going on! Kind of. I guess...since we last talked anyways. Currently, I am sitting at my mom's house wishing their stupid ass dog Stormy would shut the hell up. My stepbrother recently moved back home as well and brought his ugly ass dog Cid (for the Citadel) with him and it is also a boxer. Those dogs are slowly moving down my list of dogs I like. The bottom of the list is slobbery dogs, but these two are getting close. I've always disliked Stormy, but she has really been irritating me since I got home. First off, she is older and bigger than Cid and should probably be able to law down the law. Furthermore, it's her house and her pillow and if she doesn't want Cid on it, she should be able to make that clear. Yeah, well, she doesn't and instead she whines because Cid sleeps on her pillow and I kind of want to punch her in the face. But I don't, chill out.

Whoa. So Stormy has finally shut up and now I'm watching a documentary called "Jesus Camp" and it is blowing my mind. Basically it is about Evangelical Christians, what they believe and this bible camp they go to in the summer. And this stuff is straight up crazy. I thought I knew about people and their Jesus-talk, but clearly I had no idea. At the moment, the leader of the camp is praying over the seats and all the electrical equipment so that it doesn't go out so their message can get out to everyone. She also gave a shout out to Satan, telling him she knows how he likes to come in and mess things up by cutting the power, but Jesus is not going to let that happen this time. Then she started speaking in tongues and that's where I lost her. My Tongue is really rusty and she was speaking really fast, so I missed a lot of it. This was the same lady that said Christians are getting fat and lazy and told the kids it was their job to teach people about God. Kind of funny she mentioned being fat because she is about 100 pounds overweight.

Before they got to the camp, they were talking to some moms. The first mom home-taught her kid (he had a really intense rat tail) that creationism was the ONLY feasible and logical explanation for how humans came about. This same kid also told us he was saved at age 5 because he realized life was no fun without Jesus. Quite the insightful 5 year old. I think he probably would have a little fun if he got to go to real school and make some friends, but his mom and I are obviously not on the same page. We might not even be on the same planet. The second household had a mom that made the kids say the pledge of allegiance (it was a little different than the one I was taught...it started "I pledge allegiance to the Christian nation...) and put their hand on the Bible and say some oath before they ate. And then another girl went and tried to save someone in the bowling alley and the dad told her, "way to be obedient." I would have told her, don't talk to strangers and if you do it again, you're getting a whooping.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!!! Oh lady, you just messed up. The fat lady just said that Harry Potter would have been put to death had he lived in the Old Testament because warlocks are enemies of God. Oh my. Bitch, back up off Harry Potter. And get your facts straight crazy lady. Harry Potter is a wizard.

Whoa. This lady really is crazy. Now she is making the kids cry and speak in tongues and yelling at them and washing them with Nestle water because they are hypocrites. It is seriously weirding me out. These kids are so young! They are so brain-washed...it hurts me. Earlier the crazy lady was talking about how people in Palestine are brain-washing their kids and teaching them to take up the fight for Islam by killing other people. She didn't specify, so I'm assuming she means every Islamic person is doing this to their kids. So, she thinks we should do the same thing, only she has "the truth" so that makes it ok. I am very concerned for these children. She is now telling them the punishment for sin is DEATH.

Oh no. The bowling alley girl just hated on Catholic churches saying God doesn't like churches where the people just sit there. I'm not offended, I just want to know how she knows that.

Ahhhh!!! Now they are declaring war on the nation! I am so confused! Now they are blessing a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. Now they are being lectured on abortion. And crying because 50 million of their friends were killed before they got a chance to live. Now they are handing out plastic fetuses (where do you even get those??) and taping up mouths with red duct tape that says LIFE. Not sure what purpose that serves.

What I would love to do is watch this with someone that is hardcore about church and see what they think about it. I also think it's interesting that the South is considered the Bible belt, when this nonsense is going on in Missouri. Quit hatin on the South people, cause the crazies are everywhere.

Um, ok. So this post was supposed to be about how fun my Halloween was and how I took the train home to Charleston...that's right, the train, they still exist. And how I got complimented on my eyes in both the Tampa and Jacksonville train station. Which I thought was weird because I can't think of any other time that has happened and now it's happened twice, both in train stations. Hm. And then I went to North Carolina to hang out with some family and that was really fun/interesting/hectic/slightly stressful. But this Jesus Camp nonsense just blew my mind instead and we'll just have to get to that stuff later. But here is a picture of my awesome Halloween costume in case all my babbling bored you:

I know, awesome, right? Adios people. Less weird stuff next time, I promise.