I am not quite sure why they observe Lunar New Year in Korea, but I am not complaining because I got a 5 day vacation. Most people refer to it as Chinese New Year, but obviously we are not in China, and are still celebrating. It's kind of nice here, because we still get vacation for Buddhist holidays, even though it's not a predominantly Buddhist country. In fact, most of the Koreans I know are Christian (and a bit on the crazy side of Christian, if you know what I'm saying). Also, Koreans are not really a celebratory people (from my observations) and don't treat it with the same reverence and enthusiasm as other countries I've been to and seen/heard about. For example, when I went to Vietnam and Hong Kong, they were still celebrating a month later and have all kinds of fun events happening. In Korea, you eat, you bow, you clean graves and that is pretty much the extent of it. In past years, the holiday has only been 3 or 4 days, but thanks to the calendar gods, we got 5 days this year. And not that I'm in any place to judge, but Korean holidays seem pretty boring and tame compared to literally, everywhere else. My theory is that everyone here is so focused on working EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY (seriously, the work ethic here is borderline insanity), that they are either busy working or too tired from working all the damn time to do anything fun. Maybe it's just the people I've been hanging out (SY and his family), but most of the time seems to spent being stuck in traffic and/or complaining about the traffic.
Again, maybe I'm not hanging out with the right people, but I've never really seen any type of BIG fun other Asian countries seem to be having, especially during Lunar New Year. Even regular New Years in the Phillipines was a million times more exciting than here, EVEN with a free PSY concert involved. They do have a cool parade here for Buddha's birthday in May, but I was discussing the oddity with a friend the other day and we both came to the same conclusion. Yes, they have the parade and it is cool to see, but we don't personally know any actual Koreans that participate in the festivities. We have both been here a few years, have Korean fiancees, and have been to the parade and seen all the people participating. But we both wonder, who are these people?! How can we be friends with them? No Korean I know and/or interact with on a regular basis goes to or has any interest in being part of said parade. This realization lead to another realization, which is that I am exposed to such a small slice of Korean life and it's kind of unfortunate. Working in an English language environment limits my interactions with real Korean culture. Even having Korean in-laws really only allows me to participate in their life and their traditions, which are certainly not representative of all Koreans' lifestyle. I feel like most of the people I interact with are kind are on the boring side. Maybe it's because I myself am also boring? How did this happen?! I used to be so fun! I have no idea, but whatever, here I am. It's exhausting trying to make new friends, but not sharing a language makes things decidedly more difficult. Yes, I could learn Korean and go around trying to befriend more authentic Koreans but learning a language is also exhausting and Korean people, like many tight-knit ethnic groups, are not overtly friendly. Of course, this is just my opinion. I come from the "friendliest city" in America, so I am used to smiling at everyone, talking to complete strangers at any and all times, and having people offer to help me at the first sign of distress. I would assume that most big cities are not as open. Oh man, I could go on forever about this, but I'll move on to what this post is really about-my very singular experience this Lunar New Year.
The holiday passed pretty uneventfully, but I did have my first bowing to the elders experience, and it was a bit disappointing. Mainly because you are apparently supposed to receive money after bowing, but all I got was used make-up and an absurd amount of eye cream. I knew from my preschoolers that they bow to their grandparents, but beyond that I wasn't really aware of Korean traditions for the Lunar New Year. However, after speaking with multiple people, I have come to the conclusion that I was slighted and my new Korean family took advantage of my ignorance. SY claims that only young people receive money after bowing, but he's full of nonsense. First off, I'm young! At 30 I'm basically a spring chicken and secondly, I have 4 reputable resources that claim otherwise. In fact, we had to give away a good chunk of change! Both his parents and his pastor (to my chagrin) got money from us.
SY's mom is well-meaning, and I have heard Korean mother-in-law (well, general in-laws I guess) horror stories, so I consider myself lucky. However, she made some comments recently that did not sit well. She offered to buy us a "running machine" (treadmill), citing she was "worried" about my "health." Which is code for you're fat and need to lose weight. It's a whole freaking thing, but basically most Koreans believe that skinny equals healthy and fat equals unhealthy. Being fat also usually means you are ugly and overall unfavorable, but I have a small face, so I can get away with it, up to a point. Whatever, I could go on forever about this country's weight-ism (is this a word?), but let's move on. And yes, America has it's hang-ups about weight and generally thin is beautiful, but at least in that country, there are clothes available for people that aren't a size 4 or under and there is a MUCH higher cut off before you are considered too fat to be socially acceptable.
OMG ANYWAY. In addition to being a little mouthy, his mom is very....practical and obviously doesn't see the need to waste money on gifts that aren't useful or help you lose weight. She does, however, like to find random unwanted items in her house and pass them on to me. I have no idea where she gets all this stuff, but after doing a little more investigating on this trip to the house, I've realized they are basically hoarders. Like for real, there is SO much stuff in their apartment. I don't know what they're waiting for, but they are well prepared for an apocalypse, zombie or otherwise. In past visits, we got bagfuls of mini L'Occataine toiletries and my favorite, the polly pocket toaster oven. His mom is also a big fan of giving me used make-up, so I have a collection of half-used lipsticks. She also gave me her shoes because once I complimented them. I appreciate the thought and definitely know she is just trying to be nice, but it gets to be bit much. Especially since we don't wear the same size shoe, so as much as I like hers, I can't even wear them.
WOO-don't get me wrong-his parents are generous and wonderful and I love them a lot. They are just so...Korean in their gift-giving ways, and to me, it's hilarious, baffling, annoying and appreciated all at the same time. Koreans love being helpful and generous, almost to a ridiculousness. I've talked about Korean gift-giving before and I think it's just going to be a cultural difference I'm just going to have to accept, even if I never understand or am comfortable with. Normally, I am all for free things. I am the queen of handouts and generally can't say no to anything offered to me. But Koreans definitely take re-gifting and handouts to the next level. It is generosity to the uncomfortable degree. His dad asked if I liked soju, now I have a 3 gallon jug of, basically, Korean moonshine. His pastor asked if I liked gim (dried seaweed), now I have enough to last me the year.
His mom asked if I liked lotion (of course?) and now I have 4 bottles of lotion that smells like a grandma and 4 tubes of eye cream. I am FOREVER getting eye cream from Koreans. Seriously, I currently have at least 5 tubes/jars of it and I have never once bought it for myself. I know I always look tired, but I don't think any cream is going to help the dark circles. We also got two HUGE packages of beef and a box full of apples from some of his students. These things will actually get used, but they do take up quite a bit of space in our tiny fridge.
So, in addition to coming home with used make-up and tennis shoes, SY's mom also always sent us home with an absurd amount of food. Our fridge is literally packed to the brim. Sadly, it's full of Korean food that I don't like and smells bad. I am trying to think positive, but I get a little frustrated sometimes because SY doesn't appreciate my culinary genius and would rather eat kimchi, boring rice and instant noodles. He actually does eat a lot of my food, but I am grumpy and often feel like he only claims it's delicious so I don't get angry. It's a testament to what a good person he is, but I'm the opposite and need to be showered with praise and enthusiasm to feel like life is worth living.
Oh my, so this just go so whiny so fast. Again, these are my experiences and in no way an affront on Korea. I am going to have to write about all the lovely things I get to experience living in this country some day. But, I think that any person that has lived in another country for an extended period of time can understand my frustrations. I try to make SY feel better sometimes by telling him that honestly, if I lived anywhere for five years, I would probably be just as frustrated with the cultural differences. Probably doesn't help, but his time will come after we move to America. Just you wait, my pretty!
Dream big, people!
