All Was Well

I re-read the last Harry Potter last week and now I want to talk about it. So here are my thoughts on Harry Potter:

It is so good.

That's it.

No, just kidding. There's more. Every time I read any of the books (I've read them all at least twice, some three or four times), I am just amazed at the world JK Rowling created and how absorbed in the whole thing I become. I know I am not the only person upset Hogwarts is not a real place AND slighty sad to be a lowly Muggle. A filthy Mudblood, if you will. I am honestly (still) kind of upset the series is over. Yes, thank you, I know it has been three years since the last book was published. The re-read just made the pain all fresh and real again.

I started the re-read on the way home from San Francisco in the car and even though I was completely exhausted and had to get up for work the next day, I just had to finish it that night. Luckily, I read super fast so I was able to do it. Of course, I was crying by the end of it. Basically from when (spoiler alert) Ron finally kisses Hermoine (I was jealous) up until the very end, the tears were flowing. It's honestly because I am so involved with the characters. I wasn't already upset and/or PMSing. I was just really moved by the whole thing. I LOVE when Neville shows up and and is all bad ass, taking charge and kills the snake. I swooned when Ron insisted on rescuing the house-elves. I cheered when Ron punches Draco in the face. My heart literally ached when Snape's story is finally revealed. The whole damn thing, I just can't even stand it. Oh god, and then the kid is named Albus Severus.

People. I just can't say enough good things. Every time I read it, I get lost in the wizarding world and wish the gang would go to Magic College and then onto Wizard Grad School so their stories would never end. Obviously the last story would be nearly impossible to top but I would be ok with just reading about the everyday lives of Harry and friends.

I'm both REALLY looking forward to and dreading the release of the final movie (July 15 2011) because it is going to be epic, but it also means it's all going to be over. July 16 will be a sad sad day. Good thing my birthday will be there to cheer me up 12 days later.

Anyway, I basically just wanted to put it out there that I really love Harry Potter and say great job JK! I'm sure all the hundreds of awards you've won may have clued you in on what a fabulous job you did, but this girl just wanted to spread the HP love.

Yes, I'm a nerd. Don't care. I have a Quiddich shirt floating around here somewhere and will be having a Harry Potter marathon July 14th if anyone wants to join me.

Dream big people!

Uncomfortable Silence

It literally never gets old.

Owls are hilarious

New hilarious website:

http://hungoverowls.tumblr.com/

Read. Enjoy. Thank me later. Dream big people.

I'll Be Home for Christmas

Actually, sad times, no I'm not. I guess that is where the "If only in my dreams" line comes in.

But don't fret, I went to a friends house in Sonoma (near San Francisco) and had a really great Christmas. We had dinner at her family's for Christmas Eve...there were 40 people at one table. Total insanity. And then a 40 person White Elephant. I ended up with a bottle of wine. Not bad. Christmas day we had a super fantastic breakfast...less people but still crazy and fun. Then we opened presents. I got a stocking and even a few gifts! It was so great. That Santa is so smart! He knew where I was going to be AND knew to leave me some things I wanted.

Now I'm at her boyfriend's family's house and though it is a tad bit strange infringing on someone else's family Christmas traditions, everyone has been so super nice to me and it is just really lovely. I can't thank them enough (I started with a potted plant) and am so glad there are such nice people in the world.

There has been lots of crazy stuff going on and I have eaten so much good. I am now in a food coma and must go to bed. But I hope everyone had a very safe and happy holiday! Buon Natale! Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noel! Vrolijk Kerstfeest!

Merry Christmas to all and to all, a good night.

Dream big people :)

Feliz Navidad

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas!

And so does the attendant at the parking garage that sings this song over and over with no regard to the tune or the rest of the words. But it's cool because she's festive and I appreciate that. Even if she is making me pay $9 for parking.

I am le tired today. I went into a baking frenzy last night and got all worked up and couldn't sleep. I enjoyed myself for sure, but am regretting it today. I think it's also boredom that is dragging me down. Work is soooo slow. Nothing interesting going on. I burned myself out on making Christmas cards, so I'm over that. But, I will share the ones I did make last week since I finally got them to upload. Enjoy!

Dream big people!

Little Saint Nick

Oh, what a fantastic Hanson Christmas song. Don't lie, you know you love it. The entire Hanson Christmas album. You think it's fabulous. I know you do.

Anyway. So some Christmas depression has hit. Not that "Christmas Shoes" song depressing (jeez, saddest thing ever) but pretty dang sad. Remember when I was all mad at LA because I couldn't find a bunch of different grocery items? Well, it has happened again only in a MAJOR way. I cannot find Christmas Tree Cakes ANYWHERE! And by ANYWHERE! I mean, the four different grocery stores I have looked. Seriously, LA, what the hell is going on here? It has already been raining for FIVE straight days, I don't really need this. I also have been waiting to get these delicious treats! I have been pretending that I was holding out on Christmas goodies until the week of Christmas so I wasn't going to buy them until now. Now, my stomach and I will most obviously tell you that I did not keep up with that but I have really and truly been waiting all month to buy these suckers! Little Debbie is my home girl but she is nowhere to be found!

Truly. I am very sad about this. If anyone has a tip on where they are in LA, let me know! And it needs to be in like, a three mile vicinity of where I live or work. Actually, make it a 10 mile radius. I will take a bus for Debbie and her cakes. That is how serious about these things. I am willing to take an unnecessary bus trip. This is serious business.

For some positive news, I have gotten some amazing Christmas cards and they just make me so happy. Thanks friends! Y'all are amazing. Also, work Christmas party on Thursday and the day off Friday! Hooray!

Dream big people!

Oh, and a fun ESL story. I have been helping a student at school and he had to make up questions using pre-existing answers. The answer was: "No, I don't." His question: "Do you eat frogs for dinner?" And another, answer: "No, they aren't." His question: "Are cows blue in the USA?" ahahahah, so silly! Ridiculous English is the best!

Deck The Halls

At last! Christmas decoration photos. I know you people have just been dying and the wait is finally over!

Mmmk, just a tad bit overdramatic, you say? Well then, enjoy if you want, it's whatever.

How cute is our little tree? SO cute! The star had to be tied to the ceiling..otherwise it would be flapping all over the place. That was not my doing, but the genius idea of my roommate.

Happy Holidays folks!

Dream big people :)

Go Tell it on the Mountain

That is as close to a Christmas miracle song I could come up with. A Christmas miracle has indeed happened as I am writing this on my OLD computer! I thought it was dead and gone y'all, but it has risen from the dead and is blessing me with it's humongous screen and iTunes library. This day has sucked otherwise so I'm pretty pleased about the re-birth of the Gateway.

In other news, I have also recently become a professional baker. Well, semi-pro I guess. I have been cooking up a Christmas storm and I don't want to brag or anything, but I'm pretty awesome. The key is simplicity. Everything I make has like, 5 ingredients tops and basically consists of me mixing them together and putting it the oven. Or some variation of that. Sometimes I microwave it and sometimes I put the mixture in the fridge. Just depends. Anyway, I'm still always impressed with myself when I throw things together because it usually ends up being tasty. So go me. Feel free to invite yourself over for a meal or a snack because I like it better when I can cook for other people. For one thing, it's depressing to cook for just one person. And for another, I love getting compliments. So come on over!

That's it really. Posting every day is making me a bit boring I'm afraid. Sorry about that. Don't fret, Christmas is almost here and this will all be over. I actually wish I could just fast forward through Christmas and end up at New Years. Not sure how I'm going to handle this Christmas, not being at home for the first time in 25 years and I would love if it just would hurry up and be over with. Between the Christmas commercials for jewelry, new cars and baking with the family, I'm ready for TV to stop rubbing my loneliness in my face, thank you very much.

Ok, it's not quite that dramatic. I'm actually ok with life right now. I just watched a lot of TV today and was constantly reminded that I will probably not be receiving any jewelry, cars, kisses, toys or surprise visitors this year. THANKS A LOT SANTA! Oh well, let us not forget the miracle of the Gateway. Since it was raining, I also watched a bunch of movies today. Here is a quick re-cap of them for you:

Top Gun: Tom Cruise was super hot. All the pilots were. I need to pilot land or wherever they were...somewhere in Cali, right?
Jerry Maguire: Tom Cruise was still super hot. The love story seemed pretty implausible to me..was I the only one that thought this?
Dear John: Only worth watching to squeal with delight over the places I recognized. It was filmed in Charleston and Sullivan's, so I got to squeal a lot. Other than that, it was quite depressing and not really what I needed today.
Going the Distance (last night): Actually quite entertaining. Loved the supporting cast the most. Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is so hilarious, as is Jason Sudeikis. The whole movie was funny and I give it two thumbs up.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Gives me hope that I just might get married one day, even if my love life is in the garbage right now. Also reminds me that I'm still mad I didn't get to go to that Greek wedding last year. Boo.

Trying to decide what to watch next. Another Tom Cruise movie? I just might do it.

Dream big people!

All I Want for Christmas is You

Which is too damn bad apparently because no one is interested in having me for Christmas. This is not anything new but it always sucks when unrequited love rears it's ugly head and reminds me of just how little game I have. LAME! Also, the one I really want is way too far away. Shitdamn.

Moving on. Hollywood beat me up last night! It was raining and I fell and twisted my poor little foot. I also acquired a few other random bruises, who knows from where. It was a fun evening, just a little on the painful side.

Well, I can't really think of anything else to say.I think I killed off one too many brain cells last night and now I don't really know what to do with myself. So until I can think of something positive to share, I'm out.

Dream big people!

Silent Night

This night isn't exactly silent, but it's a short little post. So it's closs. I had this whole plan to show you all my awesome Christmas decorations I have around my house and the office. But then I tried to upload them and it didn't work and now I am frustrated and am leaving to go out soon. (Yes, Dad, I'm going drinking...again!) So I was all, screw that. But don't fret, I'll be uploading the rest of them soon and all you beautiful people will be able to see my beautiful decorations. For now, you will just have to admire one of my cards I made for the troops. You're welcome!

Oh man, he is just the cutest thing! I was kind of sad to send him off. I hope whatever service member gets him hangs him up on his/her wall to admire all year round. I'm not vain or anything.

Ok, more to come!

Dream big people!

O Holy Night

...of baking!

OH my goodness, I did a lot of baking/card making tonight. I honestly got a little sick of it. I think it's because I have zero patience and I don't like when I can't finish projects in a timely manner. I had a lot of cards to make, things to bake, packages to put together, etc and it took me a few days. I was hoping it would take an hour. ish. But whatever, it's done for the most part.

I always go way overboard with Christmas cards and gifts. I just have so many people I want to do stuff for but it is SO expensive to mail things! And now, without a car, it is quite the pain to gather the materials to send things AND figure out how to get them all the to post office. BUT I'm going to get it all done, dammit! Some people may getting gifts after Christmas, but they WILL be getting them. I don't want to hear any whining about it either!

The other problem with baking is that I want to eat everything I make! I ate pretty much only cookies for dinner which is a really terrible idea for a lot of reasons. Among other things, I then don't have as many to send to people. It also gives me heartburn and will probably make me gain 5-10 pounds. I'm pretty sure I'm going to gain at least 15 pounds by the end of December. Christmas food is just so delicious and everyone likes to give me candy/sweets as presents! I'm not complaining, but I would probably be better off with SlimFast or a subscription to Weight Watchers. Getting free cupcakes for National Cupcake Day yesterday didn't help things either. Especially when there is a "Yummy Cupcakes" across the street from my school. And let me tell you, they are not lying when they call themselves yummy. Fabulously Delicious Cupcakes would also be a good name.

Ok people, off to a sugar induced coma/bed. Looking forward to the weekend!

Dream big people!

I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas

Only a hippopotamus will doooo...

Specifically, only this insanely cute little baby Pygmy hippo will do:

Can you even fucking stand how cute this thing is? I can't, I really can't. I found this amazing website: http://www.zooborns.com/ that posts pictures of ridiculously cute animals born at zoos recently. I look and I am literally overcome with cuteness and longing to touch/hold/pet/squeeze/love the shit out of these animals. I get really upset that I'm looking at them on a computer screen, and not in real life and am thus, unable to do any of the aforementioned activities. It's really kind of a downer at work.

But I just found an upper:

Movie trailer for a movie named after one of the best songs ever made. The movie itself looks kind of silly, but I have a feeling it's soundtrack will be enough to make me happy. Reminds me so much of college. Can't wait!

Ok, well feel free to send me that pygmy hippo for Christmas. It's getting so close! I can't believe how time has flown.

Dream big people!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

I'm so sad because...

1. I just had to say bye to my dad and sister and

2. I realized we did not even listen to our Christmas jam by NSYNC! Super sad times indeed.

However, we did have a super great time, so it was not a total loss. Even if we did had to pass by the scary La Brea elephants multiple times. Seriously, what is going on with those things? I hate them more and more each time I see them.

Anyways, yay for family! We had such a good time! Good food, (mostly) good shows, awesome apartment, GREAT weather, and I got to driiiivvveeee! So fun! Really just can't say enough good things about the whole weekend. :)

And nooowww, it hit me that Christmas is in TEN days! I need to get my shit together, quick! I have Christmas cards to mail, packages to send, goodies to bake, all sorts of things! Plus I need to get home and put together my fantastic new Ikea lamp, unpack and catch up Ellen! So much to do, so little time! So people may be getting their Christmas goodies after Christmas...sorry! It'll be more like a New Years present. Possibly later in January present. I had a strong cup of coffee this morning so my mind is racing! I am giving myself a tiny bit of anxiety because I feel like I have to do so much stuff! In actuality, none of this stuff is super urgent or importance, I just put pressure on myself to get it done.

So, in order to make myself chill out a little, I'm going to stop blogging and get back to Christmas cards. Whilst listening to NSYNC Christmas.

Dream big people! :)

Frosty the Snowman

...was a jolly happy soul! He was also made out of WHITE snow, and Jay Leno has WHITE hair, and Jay Leno is who we went to see tonight, so that is how this post all ties together. I'm so very clever.

So yes, The Tonight Show was very entertaining and so much fun with the fam. It was nice and quick, which was a lovely change from the Lets Make a Deal marathon of Sunday. There was a lot of unnecessary walking involved, but we had like, VIP tickets and did not have to wait in the audience holding area with all the common people. The band was also super awesome and fun to jam out to while sitting in the audience. We had REALLY good seats so that was great as well. We were front row! It was amazing. I high-fived Leno!

No, not really. But some other people did! And some people got to take their picture with him, with a polariod. Jay seemed really nice, he came out and talked to people, even this really annoying girl. The guests were Marky Mark (I was really hoping the band was going to play Good Vibrations, but they did not), Olivia Wilde and Good Charlotte. A great time, overall.

I dragged my family around Ikea for a good two hours (I could probably spend all day in there, easy) and then we had really good sushi as a last meal. I could probably eat sushi everyday, for at least one meal. The other meals I would have to change it up because there is just too much good food out there.

Ok, enough about that.

Dream big people!

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

No, not really. But I wish someone had run me over with a reindeer today. Holy crap, I was at a taping for Let's Make a Deal for SIX hours. It was ridiculous and after about 3 hours, it got to be pretty un-fun. At the end of it all, I was tired, hungry, crazy thirsty, and had NOT made a deal with Mr. Wayne Brady. I was not a happy Mrs. Claus. Which is what I was dressed as. AND the damn show won't even air until like, April! I'll let you know when you can look for me though. We were sitting right in the line of the camera.

But it's all over now. I sadly did not win a car (apparently it helps to be in the armed forces for that) but I did have a yummy sandwich for dinner, so all is well. My family is still here. We are having a great time and I get to drive! It's a win-win!

Dream big people!

Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

And he looks like this crazy guy:

hahaha!!! I wish Santa wore red leather pants! This guy was SO amusing! I couldn't stop laughing at him. And his coat had flashing lights in it!!!! He was the creator or owner or something of this completely ridiculous party I went to and I really needed photographic evidence of him. I also wanted everyone to admire my super awesome Santa outfit I made myself. And by that, I mean I sewed on the white trim. It took a long ass time and I stabbed myself multiple times. Please admire.

Also coming to town today: My dad and sister! Yay!!!! Need to go pull myself together for their visit.

Dream big people! :)

This Christmas

...I went to the post office. And some silly things happened.

First off, there was a crazy long line. And I thought, why in the world are there so few postal workers right now? It's Christmas and this is ridiculous. But I kept those thoughts to myself. However, the man in front of me apparently REALLY wanted to know what the deal was so he asked the postal worker wandering around helping people. "I have a very important question. Is it illegal to have more people working right now?"

Then I had a question for him. It was very important. "Is it necessary for you to be a total douche? And why do you smell so bad?" Since I only asked it in my head, I never found out the answer. But really, people, did he really think the poor woman would have an answer for him? I get the feeling a lot of really angry people come into the post office, and even more so at Christmas. I just don't really like being witness to it, is basically what I'm trying to say here.

There was also an old man wearing a cowboy hat and boots on with a snowman bell as a zipper pull on his jacket. He was cute until he started yelling "NEXT" really loudly once someone finished their postal transaction.

There was also a dodo brain wandering around asking everyone in line if forever stamps were still valid. Yes, fool! That is why they are forever stamps! Someone get this man a brain.

Just when I was about to lose faith in the post office-going public, the woman behind me taps me on the shoulder and tells me I have beautiful long eyelashes. How nice was that?! Made me smile. And proud to tell her they were all natural (she asked). Then she talked me into going in the stamps only line, even though my letter had to be weighed (it was my cards for the troops) and the stamps only line does not weigh things. I didn't want to go because I was afraid there would be a riot if I had to get back in line (she said she would hold my spot if I was refused service), but the stamps only woman took pity on me.

Then I left and that is the end of my post office adventure. Thank you for reading.

Dream big people!

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

That's actually a lie, because I hate snow and would hate a white Christmas, but it is currently playing on my Pandora "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" play list. So there you go.

It's quite nice here in Santa Monica, actually. And it supposed to get into the 70s for the weekend! Hooray! I finally would rather be here than back in Charleston, where it's rumored to be freezing this week.

I don't really have anything interesting to say today, but I want to try and post every day this month with a different Christmas song. I guess I can share that last night I was playing Apples to Apples and I mistakenly gave credit to Ernest Hemingway for writing The Great Gatsby. Sorry F. Scott! Damn, I felt like an idiot! And yes, it's still bothering me today. I'm blaming it on the two glasses of Arbor Mist Raspberry Champagne and because the covers are sometimes similar. I did, however, rock Charades so I can revel in that for a bit. And then I got to sleep in a real bed!! Always a plus.

Getting excited about: Family this weekend! Hooray!

Not getting excited about: Work office field trip. Awkward.

Dream big people!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

...and make someone else's a little merrier too!

I know it's SUPER last minute, but I just thought of this and acted on it today. BUT, if you have a spare few minutes and/or couple of dollars, send a Christmas card to the troops!





Do it!!! I'm making mine at work today! Make sure you follow these guidlines:

Do...
-Include your heartfelt sentiments and sign all cards
-Entitle cards with generic terms such as “Dear Service Member, Family or Veteran”
-Limit cards to 15 per person or 50 for school class or business group
-Bundle groups of cards in single, large envelopes

Don’t...
-Send letters, care packages or monetary gifts
-Include personal information such as home or email addresses
-Use glitter – excessive amounts can aggravate health issues of wounded recipients
-Include inserts of any kind as they must be removed in the screening process


And pop it in the mail by Friday!

Holiday Mail for Heroes
PO Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD
20791-5456

If you do, you're awesome! Let me know if you do!

Dream big people :)

PS-if you're reading this, say hi! I know I have random readers out there...I'd like to hear from you!!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

ELLEN! I haven't been watching the Days of Giveaways (haven't had time, not because I don't LOVE Ellen with all my heart) but apparently this year she is into pulling people's heartstrings and YANKING them because she's just kidding with these sob stories! Tricky, tricky Ellen! I was all involved in this poor army wife and then bam! Guess I should have been watching before. Also, sorry if that makes zero sense to anyone that also hasn't been watching. And shame on you, you should be watchng Ellen! She will make your day better, guaranteed.

Ok anyway, today was so great because I slept in a BED in my ROOM! Woooohooo! That's right people, I am the proud owner of a nneeewwww beeeedddd!!! (In the Price Is Right voice). So that is very exciting and I wanted to share. Now I just need some new pillows because the old ones are struggling.

In other news, my family is coming this weekend! Hooraaayyy! Now I'm going to get sushi. And remember when I went to Disney? That was awesome. Life is good.

Dream big people! :)

What Christmas Means to Me

STILL in the holiday spirit people! Hopefully I can keep this up until Christmas is actually here. I just had a sneezing fit at work, which obviously means I am allergic to work and should go home immediately. Since that is not happening, I'll just write about more things that make me happy.

I love all (most) things Christmas. Such as the following:


LIGHTS! Literally, every time I see my tree and window with the lights on, I smile. I love them so much. Seeing them from the outside is so fun. Colored lights are the best and I don't care if you think they are tacky. Your face is tacky.

Candy canes! Cherry Cordial M&Ms! Peppermint bark! Candy Cane Oreos! Christmas candy in general! I wish I could live off Christmas tree cakes. Those might be the best things ever created. I have never really been into gingerbread houses, but I think I might this year. Just for something new. Gotta keep things fresh.


Music! Except when Jessica Simpson sings it. Other than that, I love pretty much all of it. Hymns and traditional carols included. I actually like going to Christmas mass just because I get to sing all the Christmas church songs. I wish I could sing well JUST so I could put out a Christmas album with all my favorites. It would have like, 50 tracks on it. It would probably have to be a box set. People would totally buy it and I would perform on a float at the Macy's Day Parade. And pretty much anywhere and everywhere people asked me too. And probably holiday parties when I got drunk from eggnog and start making people uncomfortable.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. Eggnog! So tasty. And Hot Chocolate. But only made with milk. Making it with water is weak sauce.

Christmas trees! They smell good, are fun to decorate and light up a room! Literally!


Presents! I love sending them and just wish shipping was not so expensive. Feel free to send me some.

Christmas movies! Love Actually is my favorite with Elf, The Santa Clause (whoa, I LITERALLY just got that title), and those stop animation films coming in second.

Cards! Love getting them, love sending them. Kind of the same as presents, but not as great.

Food! We have some baking traditions in my family. Sadly, I don't know if I'll have them this year since I'm not going to home for Christmas and don't have anyone to bake for here. But maybe I will anyway and share them with students or something. We'll see.

Holiday parties! You get to wear festive clothing, eat Christmas goodies and there's mistletoe! The combination of mistletoe and spiked eggnog is probably the only way I'm getting any Christmas love, so someone invite me to a party please. I have never been to a tacky Christmas sweater party, but I'm down for whatever.

That's it for now. I think I covered it all. Looking forward to the next couple of weeks. Send me your address if you want a Christmas card. :)

Dream big people!

Joy to the World!

Y'all.

Disneyland was so insane. Insanely amazing. Seriously, it was just the best day ever and I was SO happy. Disney really IS the "Happiest Place on Earth!" Ok, that is might be stretching it a little much, but it seriously was so fantastic.

Christmas time is an awesome time to go because it has the best combination of all things fabulous. In addition to having the already awesome basics of Disney like rollercoasters, castles, princesses, churros and people decked out in all kinds of Disney nonsense, there were Christmas lights up, Christmas music was playing, people singing carols, spreading cheer, etc. It was unbelievably awesome. Mickey had on the best Christmas sweater ever and it was just really really great.

I am incredibly simple minded right now. I think I'm in a little Disney depression. Yesterday I was on a Disney high and today I have to come down and it's been rough. But I wanted to share some photos and let everyone know how thankful and lucky I am. Thank you, Disney "Give a Day, Get a Day!"

I love the pretty lights. Hope you do too!

Fireworks! Best part! There are not words to describe the joy. Can you even STAND that the fireworks are in the shape of Mickey ears? I can't! I love it so much.

Dream big people!

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Grinch is a perfect way to describe...someone in my life. I will call him He Who Must Not Be Named Because I Don't Want to Get in Trouble. Wink wink. But yeah, he sucks a lot. He is making a large chunk of my week day unpleasant. Which is too bad because I actually enjoy everything else.

But other than Mr. HWMNBNBIDWTGIT, things are fantastic! I love Christmas decorations so fucking much, I can't even handle it. My broke ass self is even willing to spend money I should most definitely not be spending on decor just so I can see it and smile every day, even while at work. I went to Target last night and lost my shit. It is a holiday heaven there! So much cute stuff, so many candy options! I had to exercise some self control and put back a few things. I'm adding an unlimited Target budget to my Christmas Wish List. There was a super cute skirt I wanted as well. I would look great in it, so someone should definitely buy it for me. :)

I will take pictures of the decorations at some point. I know you are dying to see them! Better yet, come visit! Our house is looking super awesome, let me just tell you. We have a tree and my roommate went nuts and even wrapping-papered the door! It's awesome. But then she went and got holiday M&Ms and I can't stop eating them. She got Cordial Cherry flavored ones, which I had never even heard of, but I highly recommend them. They are fanfuckingtastic! So tasty. I bought holiday Life Savers and resisted the urge to buy everything else on the shelves.

Oh, and last night I went to the second season premiere showing of this show called the "The Sing Off" and it was actually really good! You should watch it. NBC on Monday night. It's an all acapella singing competition and the groups are REALLY good.

After the show there was a question and answer session with a member of the group that won last year, a producer (or writer or something), a judge (Shawn from Boyz II Men), and the host (Nick Lachey from 98 Degrees). It was an interesting discussion and then they opened it up to the crowd and people once again proved how incredibly awkward and ridiculous they are and I wanted to die. The first woman was going on and on about how much she appreciated them bringing back "old school" and blah blah. She was super annoying and rambled uncomfortably for like, 3 minutes. She didn't even ask a question! She just babbled on about old school and Jesus and some other things. I stopped listening, I couldn't take it. The next guy started out just as bad but he at least asked a question. THEN. This crazygonuts girl got the mic and she lost her shit over Nick Lachey. I was so embarrassed for her, I wanted to crawl under the seats. She seemed unfazed, though, and continued to express her admiration for him (and music shows in general) and then asked what was their favorite moment of their career or some completely unrelated nonsense like that. It was painful. I also asked a question and made myself look kind of silly. But whatever, there is no way I was as dumb as crazy pants.

Overall, it was an interesting evening. Very strange crowd, but there was free food so I am not complaining. Swag would have been nice, but let's not push it.

DISNEY TOMORROW! Can't even fucking stand it. Hope you have a great weekend!

Dream big people!

My Grown Up Christmas List

From now, until when I choose, (probably Christmas Day), my posts are going to have holiday themed titles. The post may not necessarily be holiday themed and the title might not even match the rest of the post, but by damn, they will be festive titles! I'm very excited about this. Get ready, because you may have an avalanche of posts coming your way. A snowball of posts, if you will. But you might not. I might get too excited/busy with the festivities to post all the time. We'll see I guess.

I'll be busy this weekend because I'm going to DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soooo SO SO SOOOO excited! I finally get to use my free pass and the Christmas lights will be up and there's going to be a parade and FIREWORKS!!!!! MY FAVORITE!!!! I kind of can't even stand it. There will be a post with a hundred million pictures after the trip. (note: it will probably be only about 4-5 because putting pictures on this thing is a huge pain.)

But this is not what this post is about. This post is about what I want for Christmas. I am giving you, loyal readers (and Santa), plenty of time to buy and ship these items. I know, I'm generous. Tis the season of giving gifts....to me. This truly is a wish list, with a large price range for every budget. So pick and choose as you please. Maybe talk amongst yourselves so you don't overlap. Here we go:

1. iTunes gift cards. Preferably in very large increments, but I'll take anything.

2. A car :)

3. Plane tickets. Please email for dates and locations

4. A bed

5. Books

6. Disney DVDs. I already have 'Lady and the Tramp' so anything other than that

7. Cute clothes/shoes/accessories/purses (and/or gift cards to stores so I can buy them for myself)

8. World Peace

9. A boy toy

10. A hippopotamus (just kidding, I just like that song)

11. All the Harry Potter books and movies

12. A new day planner. I loved my 2010 one so much, I want to find the exact same one for 2011. It has Venice on the front! (Italy, not CA)

13. A job with Ellen

14.. My two front teeth (just kidding, I already have those)

15. For someone else to pay for my bus pass

That's all I can think of for right now. I'll update as other things pop in my head. Let me know if you need my address. I will not be coming home for Christmas, so everything will need to be sent to California. Thanks for understanding.

Dream big people!

You're Welcome

I LOVE this Panda!

He's all, "I throw my hands in the air sometimes, singing heyyy oooohhh!"

For your reading pleasure

I'm just going to assume that everyone loved the Glee live blogging. I didn't get any feedback, but I am not phased. I imagine people reading it, simply screaming with laughter! Then I imagined them checking in last week and crying with disappointment because I didn't do it last week. So this week, people will check in and SHRIEK with delight because GUESS WHAT? I'm doing it again!!! You're welcome! Watch with me, won't you?

And away we go!

Scalpers? To sectionals? Yeah right.

Mr. Shue, it's time to move on from red haired lady (I forgot her name). Her hair isn't looking as good anyways.

SHUT UP RACHEL. Can't stand her.

Sweet moves. You did not just say that. Good plan!

Amen, Quinn.

Walked the walk. Again, with the cheesy lingo.

Oh Rachel. You poor selfish goober. Sorry you had to hear that in front of everyone.

Kurt! Looking so snazzy. Are you allowed to transfer schools in the middle of the school year? Probably not. Now you have to take care of this bird. Fun.

New guy. You need to keep quiet.

Really? Counseling? This is insane. Sing about it? How does this woman have a job?

Super hot. Finnnn, you moron. But, you're off the hook now! Yay! No more Rachel.

Love Brittany. Damn cricket.

I want a magic comb! Oh my gosh, he has a comb in his pocket! Hooray Artie!

[commercials: eating Nutella like it's my job. Holy shit, it's so good.]

He's not coming back. Harsh. He's not dead people!

Am badass ador. ME TOO!

YES PUCK! Way to tell that ugly loser what's up. But really, is the football team really the best place for recruits?

YES RACHEL! YES SHUESTER! Shut her stupid ass down! Put that tape back on and never ever take it off unless you are singing.

There are porta (porter) potties at schools?

Yesss, Puck loves the fatty. Did he not shower after the potty incident?

Ok, Santana. You are just being bitchy now. But you still suck Rachel.

Seriously. I don't think Puck showered. Yucky.

[Cute kid! I'm 4. Who cares? But you are precious.]
[Another cute one! What kind of demographic do they think are reaching?]
[I literally cannot handle rom-coms. I'm not emotionally stable enough to watch other people fall in love. I will lose my shit.]
[Black Swan looks creeptastic. I'll pass, thanks]
[BIG LOTS! I want to go to there. I bet they have awesome Christmas decorations!]
[Mmm, Carl's Jr. I wish they delivered. For free.]

Not really. It's shark week. Artie is MY FAVORITE. Asian girl, I forgot your name, but your cheerleader outfit is very silly.

Rachel, you are beyond melodramatic. SHUT YOUR FACE. I wish you would die and then we could see your funeral. I wish I was watching the recorded version right now so I could fast forward. Never got into Evita. Sorry Madonna.

Kurt's version is not making this better for me. Sorry everyone.

I love how those high school boys are just riveted by this singing. Yeah right. Jesus, is she crying? DRY IT UP.

Hahaha, the hands! Thank you other kid (forgot your name too) for nixing that. Blaine?

Would they really let him sing for this long? I would have been like, ok, thank you, I think we've seen enough.

Aw, poor Kurt. And now he gets cut down a few notches. Boo and he thought he was going to be in like Flynn at this new school.

AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, counselor lady! Ouch. Salt on the wound.

Rachel, where is your mouth tape? Put it back on.

[I wonder if an iPad will really make me better at life like the commercial suggests.]
[WAL-MARTTT!!! I miss you. It was nice to see you this weekend, but I wish you were closer]
[Conan, you are hilarious. I love you gossiping in the river]
[Get a Voretx, people will come help you do shit.]
[American Idol, please go away. And take Jennifer Lopez with you. Ellen is gone, I have no love for you]

Aw, they're friends now. The two most annoying people in the group. It's fitting.

OH MY GOD. THEY ARE SINGING "IN THE LIVING YEARS". I AM IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW. THIS IS THE BEST GLEE MOMENT OF ALL TIME. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. These old people are a million times cooler than New Directions. Please make a spin-off show.

Oh, you did NOT just cut them short. Fuckers.

Well, ok, I love this song too. But not as much. How come they get to sing their whole song? Haters on the old people! Ageist! It's a sham.

What is Kurt's problem? His lover is singing. Rejoice and be glad. And you get to be in the front! Maybe that guy wanted the solo for himself! Drama!

Standing O. Precious.

[Verizon, you are being just a tad dramatic about this new phone]
[Bathroom break!]
[Still don't understand 'Your Second Shot.' Is Canon paying for me to go re-take a photo? Because my camera died when I went on a gondola ride on Venice and I would love to re-take some of those photos. Canon? You listening?]
[Romantic Christmas commercials also make me lose my shit]

Why is Rachel having all her drama all up in every one's business? Shut up loser.

Uh, Mr. S. That was the worst pep talk ever. EVER.

Like, being adult. Hahahaha.

Motocross practice? You have to practice for that?

Arttiieee, you are the best ever. And Brittany is PERFECT as his girlfriend. Best couple ever!

Shut up blond kid.

Ohhh snap. Dirty Dancing? In the Living Years is still the best. If they do the little Patrick Swayze walk, I might like it a little more.

Boo, they didn't. Ok, stop this solo nonsense. More dancing please.

Hmm, less Santana singing and more dancing. That is what I'm talking about!

Man, I wish I could dance. I miss dancing. I miss shagging. No one shags in the club. They should. Life would be a lot better.

What happened to the other schools that were there last year? Is it normal there are only 3 schools? I have no idea how these things work.

Wonder who's gonnaa wiiinnnn.

Why are there is only one judge this year? Good speech. You should fill out an organ donor card!It's important!

It's a tie! Not all that surprised.

Poor Will. He's not that great, but unrequited love is the worst.

Rachel, Finn is the only good thing about you. Don't be an idiot. Finn, you are an idiot. But whatever. You're not real so it doesn't matter.

Yay! Drop her.

"You said you'd never break up with me!" Lamest desperate plea ever. I'm sad she just yelled that in the hallway.

Asian kiss?

Finn, do not cry.

Tina! That's her name.

Oh yes, we just had this prepared. Summon the ukulele players, let's jam!

Good song! I wanna be in Glee club! I could be fat random girl number two.

Well, that's all folks. Thanks for joining me. I don't care if you like it or not, I'll do what I want.

Dream big people! :)

Silver Lining

Man oh man, I hate being cold. HATE it. I hate a lot of things. Well, hate is a strong word (says my mom), but really, I STRONGLY dislike a good many things. Being cold is very high up on the list. I know I should stop whining and be thankful for all the great things in my life, but it's my blog and I'll do what I want AND I'll do it all day, thank you very much.


So it's like 57 degrees right now in LA. But it's windy, so it feels more like -36 degrees, which is completely unacceptable. Cold also makes me embarrassingly lazy. My room, well bed really, is the only warm place and I just don't like to leave it. Now, I can do a lot of things from my bed, like read, talk on the phone, use Skype, post on my blog, facebook stalk and think about what else I should be doing with my life. Unfortunately, I cannot do the following: take showers, go to the bathroom, cook dinner, work out, grocery shop, or go to work. This is all very depressing because it means I have to leave the warmth of my bed, venture out into the freezing world and get shit done. However, this morning my co-worker justified me spending all this time in bed, so I might not leave for another month or so. I've had a cold now for about a week and she said the best way to get better was to rest. I want to get better, so rest it is! I already knew this, but it's always nice to hear someone else verify it.

That is my silver lining. Being cold means I have a cold, which means I have an excuse to stay nice and warm in my bed as much as possible. It also means...CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! And Christmas candy! And Christmas MUSIC! And decorations! And presents!!! Yaaayyy! I love the holidays so much. I put lights up in my house, then I ran out onto the street and admired them for a good 5 minutes. Then I got cold and ran back inside, where I sat in the dark so I could fully appreciate the lights. My next goal is to get a tree and decorate the hell out of it. I'm sad because I have SO much Christmas stuff at home, but didn't bring any of it here with me. I *strongly dislike* having to but more of what I already have, just not with me. Ya heard?

And for some more silver lining, I am getting really excited about the life plans I have been forming. I think 2011 is going to be hella good. 2010 has been pretty freaking awesome, so I'm hoping to build on that goodness and go forth and prosper. It'll take some planning, but I can do that from my cozy bed nest! It's also going to take some cash money, but I'm working on that plan as well. Donations are, as always, welcome with open arms.

Also, my dad and sister are coming to visit next week! Hoooraaaayyyy!!

Now, if everyone would just SHUT THE HELL UP about saying "Merry Christmas" vs saying "Happy Holidays," and it would stop being cold, everything in my world would be fine and dandy.

Dream big people!

Icky

I'm not feeling well. Frowny face. And when I don't feel well, I turn into quite the whiny pathetic mess. I feel the entire world is out to get me and I just cannnn'tttttt understaaaaannndddddd WHY anyone would want to bring me down in my time of need.

Examples:

1. The weather. It's sooo cold. It's 52 degrees right now! In November? WHY LA?

Now. I know this isn't that bad. There is snow on the ground in other parts of the country. However, at home, in Charleston, it's like 75. Not fair. Also, I'm sick and have to walk everywhere AND my house has no heat. Someone call the WAAAAmbulance! Make it pick me up and take me somewhere warm!

2. I ate an apple for breakfast. The apple was MUSHY! Uggghhhh, I HATE mushy apples! Albertsons, why would you sell me a mushy apple when you know I'm sick?? And I thought you were the better grocery store. I have been forsaken.

3. Pandora. OMG, you are playing Coldplay which is waaayy to melodramatic and whiny for me to be listening to right now and I already used up all my skips! FUCK! I'm SICK Pandora! Are you trying to run me in the ground???? (Update: It followed that with RENT and the Outfield, so I'll get over it. But you are on thin ice Pandora) (Another update: is currently playing "Part of Your World." ALL is forgiven. Carry on)

4. The Internet. Why must you throw all these things I don't want to see in my face? Get Jake and his rom-com off my screen, I can't handle seeing him with other women. It's too painful and I'm not strong enough in my sick state.

5. Office building. I am sick. And I want to be warm. Is this so much to ask office? Can't you warm the fuck up? The heat is one but I don't feel it. Booooo, hisssss!

6. Emergen-C. Why are you so disgusting? I am just trying to get some extra Vitamin C and you insist on making the experience as unpleasant as possible. Can't you just taste like cream soda or something else delicious? Sigh.

Ok, enough whining for now.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! I won't be with my family :( :( :( But a friend invited me to her family's dinner so I won't be lonely. Hooray friends! And I'm making apple pie which always makes me happy.

Dream big people!

A Day in the Life

Soooo, I have been inspired from all the fun stuff over at http://www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/, and have created a Paint interpertaion of one day in my life as well. I don't know if this is legal, stealing ideas like this, but I'm giving credit and hopefully no lawyers are reading this. If you are, please just tell me before you sue me and I'll take it down.

This day happened a couple weeks ago. It's also kind of a mash up of days. And may not make any sense. I tried to be as realistic as possible. Enjoy!

Hooray coffee! (sometimes)

Uninspired

Ooooooohhhhh, my goodness gracious.This weekend was ridiculously boring. It was kind of nice to not have anything to do, but it was also kind of lame. I got some shit done...laundry, shopping, TV watching. Nothing exciting. It was really just kind of blah. I don't like being blah. I also don't like being angry and I spent a lot of time this weekend being angry about stupid people that don't respond to my questions. Is it really so hard to shoot a yes, no, maybe so back to me? No, it's not. I am well aware of how much time it takes to send a text/fb message/email so basically people suck. And if you say you are going to do something and then you don't, that sucks too.

On the other hand, I do know some awesome people so life is not a total waste. Jello shots also help things and my fridge is currently stocked full of them for my next drunken adventure.

Friday nights drunken adventure was kind of a bust. I took a whole bunch of jello shots, but nothing interesting came of that. I hate that. Getting drunk with uninteresting results is one of my least favorite things ever. Seems like such a waste. And now I'm hungover and it was all for nothing. I did get some free jewelry, so that's a plus. The two weren't related, but it was the same evening. The girl I was on Ellen with sells jewelry and she has been asking me for a long time to host a party. So I finally did. There was a pretty poor turn out because most everyone I know in LA kind of sucks a little bit (except for my co workers, they are awesome) but it was still fun. It also gave me an excuse to buy extremely delicious cupcakes so I was pleased.

In other news:

I am pissed I can't download free music anymore. I'm poor, iTunes and the musicians who's music I would like to download are not. Cut me some slack. And $1.29 is ridiculous for one song. Let me know when it goes on clearance. Apple irritates me.

Boys are dumb. This is nothing new. I was just reminded this weekend.

I am also upset there is no Wal-Mart nearby. WHERE am I supposed to buy cheap ass Christmas decorations? The 99 cents store failed me horribly and now I'm sad. I need Christmas lights and I just cannot pay over $5 for them, I'm sorry.

Ross is awesome. (The store. I only know one person named Ross and he is not awesome. Super hot, but not awesome.)

That's it really. Sorry this post sucks. I am going to see Harry Potter tomorrow (hopefully) and not ONLY am I BEYOND thrilled, but I am also CERTAIN it is going to get my creative juices flowing one again. Stand by.

Dream big people!

My life, in cartoon form

Sometimes, this is how I feel. Sad. I try really hard and I want people to like me and call me and do fun stuff with me. But they don't and it sucks.

BUT SOMETIMES! I feel like this:

Because sometimes, people are awesome, food is tasty and life is good.

Today is a weird combination of the two. Hoping for some more magic sparkles though. Am I bipolar? I hope not.

Also, I found these new websites and they are totally hilarious:

www.catalogliving.net and www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com (<--that is where the second picture came from. The first is from A Simple Apology....not sure if I'm allowed to share stuff, but I put the source, so it's legit. Right? Hope so)

Go forth and laugh.

Dream big people!

LIVE! From LA!

Would be better if it were LIVE! FROM NEW YORK! But I'm not in New York, so here we go.

But for real! I'm trying something new. It's called live blogging. I've heard of it but I haven't really learned the logistics, so I don't know if I'm doing it right. So my version is, I'm watching Glee and making remarks about it here, for your reading pleasure. It will literally be stream of consciousness typed out while I'm watching. You are welcome!

[Afterthought: this might not make any sense unless you've seen the show and/or are watching while reading. Sorry. But it was fun for me! Also, there are commercial comments as well...they are in parantheses]

Herrreeee we go!

Whoa, what, the ex wife is back? Nooo. I don't like her.

Monkey flu? That doesn't sound fun.

Ohhh, SICK!!

Best I just got sneezed on face ever! Aw, Shuesters face isn't as good.

Perks of being a high school teacher? I think not. There are none.

Aw, cute kids! Yay! The whole episode should be like that! Too bad these kids can't really act. It could have been really funny.

These two can NOT get back together. Crazy lady, STEP BACK. I don't even like Shuester that much, but I hate her. Baby talk makes me want to vomit. Bitch, don't even act like you are so great because you remember his favorite movie.

SHUT UP Rachel! Wow, I hate her sometimes! I apparently hate a lot of people.

Gay date for Kurt! Yay! "We know how lonely you've been." Ouch. I mean, they are in high school. Soo lonely. Please. Talk to me in five years.

Tater tots sound gross when they're being poured.

And yet some more hatred...sorry Gwyneth (sp?), don't like you either. You and your website is annoying.

Umm, are we serious? Conjunction junction in high school? Who are those back up singers?

You smell homeless. HAHAHAHAHA. Kurt, I love you.

Oooo, love Artie too. He thinks he's gangster. Oh, what the hell?

Holly Holiday? For reals?

Wait, Brittany might be my favorite. Field trip to Taco Bell? YES PLEASE. Medical grade marijuana? Lady, you are a teacher! Set an example.

Kurt, 80s music is fantastic. You shut your face.

Ok, really don't like when old people try to be hip. Also, Forget You is just NOT as fantastic as Fuck You. Nice try. Oooh no, you did not just do the robot.

Liking Gwyneth less and less. Not sure how that is happening. Never thought I would be on the same page as Rachel cause she is annoying as shit.

Cee-Los whiny WHHYYYS are way better.

Let's go get some Tacos! Lame. Only redeemed because Taco Bell is actually awesome.

(Vampire Weekend in a commercial! Yay! Still pissed I missed that concert.)

Athletes foot medicine comes in spray form?

Seriously, how would anyone let Sue be principal?

Beastie for the win!

Do people EVER go to class at this school?

This is clearly a dream sequence. Is Mr. Shue wearing Air Force Ones?

Walking on a piano can't be good for it. Oh, I think they are just white Chucks.

The more Asian kid dancing, the better.

I'm kind of confused now. What is going on. This is not making me laugh.

Therrrreee we go. It's a dream.

You can't understand Rachel! Hooray!

Hoarders and Red Wine doesn't sound that fun. To me.

Kurt, you better check yourself! Dissing Mercedes is not cool. Oh, and now the tots are gone. M is NOT going to be pleased. Throwing them away is so completely wasteful.

Sue just called her Ja-kay. Like the lady from Sister Sister! Yes. Not sure how you really spell that.

Richard Nixon...not sure he had the people's best interest in mind.

A toilet brush? Family of gummy bears. Awesome.

(Love and Other Drugs looks kind of lame. But I do like Oliver Platt...The Big C is so good! And Jake is soo fine. I am so bitter about him and Taylor. I refuse to believe it's real.)

(Adoraboots are super ugly.)

(Sorry American Idol, you are not going to convince me to watch you with this sappy music. My dreams are not coming true with you because I can't sing. Lame.)

(TrueMoo...good name.)

(I wonder if the LA Bank of America commercial airs everywhere or if there are different ones for all over the US. Anyone? Thoughts on this? Have you seen the LA BofA commercial?)

Miss Holiday, you cannot tell people they suck! Even if they do!

Righteous? For real? I reallllly don't like her. Un-pop that collar right now.

There are good 80s bands other than Journey, Mr. Shue.

That is a stupid catch phrase.

NOOOOOO. GET BACK DEVIL WOMAN! Shuester, NO! Do not talk about yourself in third person as a BABY. Jesus, can't handle it. DON'T take your shirt off!

Shit.

Ew, she just kissed Menthol rub. NOOOOO. Stop kissing! Ugh, I hope she gets sick and dies.

Anthony is cute! Are high school kids on Google search? Scary.

Um, yeah right. Tots revolution?

How come sometimes they eat outside and sometimes in the cafeteria?

YESSSSS! Chicago! Still hate you Gwen. But awesome robe. Even though you look like a slut. You are a TEACHER! What in the world? She's got some pretty loose morals for a high school substitute teacher.

When did they have time to learn all this? In the past hour? Doesn't she have class to teach? Doesn't Rachel have class to go to? I wonder if she is all crazy about her grades too. Maybe she would be if she ever WENT TO CLASS!

And now they have guns. Those would not be allowed. Who is their lighting guy? Glee, you are completely unbelievable. I know, it's a TV show.

The hair jokes never get old. Just kidding. They do. But his hair is pretty silly.

Noooo! Figgins got fired? Sadness.

I don't think you can arbitrarily fire teachers like that. Don't they have contracts or something?
Who cares?

(Tron looks dumb.)

(Why would a giant have a job at a grocery store? He needs to be outside.)

(I love those Puffs commercials.)

Double date! Precious. hahaha. Oh wait. Where is her date?

You want some tots? Umm, yeah, let me just whip some up at this Italian restaurant I work at. Sooo glad I'm not a waitress anymore. Dear Jesus, please don't even make me be a waitress again.

These kids feel special? Get a grip.

I tweet them about it. Stupid. So glad I'm not working in a high school.

Bitch!

Uh oh, M just got schooled. Please school H too! Yes! Berets ARE out. Tracksuits are IN!

("Total Shock" says girl engaged to Prince William. "Yeah right" says girl that should have been engaged to Prince William.)

Expensive beer...totally legit reason to drop in on people. Stop crying loser.

Cameo is totally scary. She has humongous nostrils. Sadly, a student punching a teacher is not the most unbelievable part of this show.

SHUE, you are making horrible lady choices. Don't flirt with her!

Porn star or drag queen? YES. Well, H just scored a point with me for calling Teri (Terry?) a bitch.

Sorry, Teri, you gotsa go. Don't come back. EVER. Somehow I don't think he's going to regret it. Unless she stuffs tater tots up his tail pipe.

Lacar!

Actually, I don't think they have tots in jail. I don't know though. Maybe.

Gooo get em M! Snag that Anthony.

Eesh, that jock kid is scary. I don't know how to spell his name.

Surprise! Shue gets his job back. TOTALLY didn't see that one coming. (Sike)

The under flaps of my breasts, ohhhhh my god.

The Mr. Shue love is a little excessive. Brittany for the win!

Craigslist shout out, holla! Reminder: check Missed Connections for true love.

Gin and juiicccce.

Ok, I do like bi polar rants. One point for crazy H. Only one though.

Oh yeah, no problem, we'll just cover the stage in water. Maintenance won't mind. Rain coming down in the back? Sure thing. Wasting water! This is the episode of wastefulness.

Why are the teachers singing with them? They aren't allowed to do that at sectionals. And they are like, the stars! I thought it wasn't supposed to be about them.

God, I hate that umbrella song. Make it stop.

How is their hair not getting wet at all? I would not like doing this dance. I hate when I get my feet wet when I'm wearing socks and shoes. Seriously, worst feeling ever. And it takes fooorreever to dry.

I think this wedding is going to be AWESOME. Can't wait!

Annnnnnd SCENE!

Ok, um, so this is crazy long. I'm doubting most of you made it to the end. But if you did, congratulations! This was fun. I think I did it wrong, but maybe I'll make it a thing. Thoughts?

Dream big people!

A Rant

You know what REALLY pisses me off? Like, really really REALLY bad?

Fucking commercials. Especially fucking bullshit sexist commercials that pander to women about the stupidest shit ever and expect us to be happy about dumb ass shit AND expect us to do fucking everything.

First up: cleaning products. WHY do the stupid dad and son get to have fun, act like idiots and slide bowls of salsa back and forth across the counter? First off, who the fuck does that? Salsa is for eating, not sliding across counters. In walks mom just as the salsa bowl hits the chips bowl and splashes all over the nice clean counter! Oh hahaha says mom! No worries! I'm soooo thrilled because I have these fantastic paper towels to clean up the stupid mess my stupid ass husband and son just made! No, please, husband and son, I got this! I'll clean it up ALL by myself even though I'm NOT the one that made the mess. Please, continue sliding perfectly good food back and forth across my nice clean counters. In fact, why don't you grab the broom and the mop and play hockey with some other messy substances across my nice clean floor. And don't even worry if it makes a mess because guess what else I have....a NEWWWWW MOOOPPPPP!!!! And some super awesome other random cleaning product, HOOORRAAAYYYYY!!! My life is SO great because I have all these awesome cleaning products! And, if you get it on your clothes, I can do laundry with my new super fantastic detergent. I have detergent and fabric softener and dryer sheets and OH MY! I am just so thrilled, I can't even stand it. YAY! (side note: the commercial where the mom goes out on the town and gets her daughter's shit dirty is awesome). Why is the dad NEVER helping clean?

Second: The Holidays. Man, all I want to do as a woman is decorate my house! That is what I do with my time. But, y'all, it is SO stressful because I just want to hang up my decorations but I might leave a mark on my walls!! Oh my goodness, whatever can I do about this? Oh, what's that? There are hooks that come OFF the wall without leaving ANY marks? None at all? You can't be serious. Thank you, Jesus, my life is now complete. Now I have time to bake pies and cakes the rest of the food for my family! And clean up the mess from all that cooking. Wooo boy, good thing every woman has a family to take care of.

Third: Cars. Apparently men are the only people that are interested in driving cool, fast cars. The women are obviously all at home cleaning and hanging up decorations, so they don't have any time for driving around in cool cars. When they are finished cleaning, women can only get in minivans and ugly "safe" cars to drive around their kids and.... No, that's it. Kids and cleaning, that is all we are god for.

Four: Reality TV shows. WHOOOO is watching this shit? Are British people the only people with any common sense that know how to raise kids and get jobs? Who cares what real housewives are doing? What makes people from Jersey any more interesting than the rest of this? WHY are we glorifying strippers, pregnant teens and socialites? WHO IS WATCHING THIS SHIT? Seriously.

Five: Make up. I'm soooooo ugly! Make me beautiful make up! I have to get rid of dark circles, wrinkles, unclear skin, droopy eyes, dull cheeks, boring lids, bland lips, stumpy eyelashes and everything that makes me ugly and unattractive to men.

Six: Toilet paper. Are we fucking serious with these people? Bears? Bears do not use toilet paper. And they certainly don't use toilet paper as a precursor to bear sex. Who comes up with this nonsense?

Seven: Credit cards. Credit card corporations are EVIL. Do not pretend that you are on my side and are out to help me. You are not going to be able to help me reach my life goals financially so get out of my face and off my TV.

Eight: Lap Band. Get thin now! The people in these commercials are so terrible.

Annnnd, I'm done. Thank you and goodnight.

If I were a club....

That title is to be sung to the tune of "If I Were A Boy." I'm going to let that sink in.

Ok. But for real. I went to a club last night and I have some suggestions on how things could be improved. Actually, I attempted to go to one club and then went to another instead, so this is about both of them combined. There may also be some comments about how you should act as a club-goer.

First off, do not shut down your guest list at 10:30 if you said it was going to shut down at 11. There is a big difference. And why even shut it down at all? If you're on the list, you should be able to get in whenever you feel like it! People on the list (like me) are important and awesome and your club would benefit from having me inside.

Also, $25 to just get in the club is ridiculous. That is why I didn't go in the first one. Club's loss. But sadly, not really, because there were plenty of other people that were willing to pay that.

Now, if I were to actually open a club, I would put it in a huge ass building. That way, there is plenty of space for walking, dancing, drinking, picture taking, flirting, etc. A tiny ass dance floor at a place created specifically for dancing is not going to cut it. I would literally find the largest space I could and make it into a club. This is in my fantasy world where I have an unlimited source of money and resources. There would be multiple places to sit and anyone can sit wherever they damn please. You would not have to pay a ridiculous amount to have sitting privileges.

I would also have multiple rooms. The more variety of music you have to offer, the better. One room would just be music I like and that is where I would be all the time. But, the other rooms would each be a different kind of music. That way, if a song sucks in one room, you just move on to another until you find your jam.

Also, multiple bars and a hundred million bathrooms. Two stalls is unacceptable. I would also not allow those attendant people in there either. I can get my own paper towel, thank you. I would have mints, condoms and tampons set out for people to take. Again, unlimited budget. I can do what I want.

There would be lots of places to sit down. I would also have a flip flop/flat shoes vending machine where ladies could buy a pair of super cheap but super comfy shoes to put on at the end of the night when their feet are screaming out in pain from the hot but painful shoes they have on. I would also have some sort of locker system where you could put your jacket, purse, extra pair of shoes, etc so you don't have to carry it all around with you while you're trying to get your dance on. And you don't have to pay to hang up your coat.

There wouldn't be a super strict dress code, but you are not allowed to come in if you look way too skanky, like a homeless person or your outfit is just really terrible. I would be the final judge on that.

The drinks would be crazy strong and not crazy expensive. The club would also be attached to a Waffle House/Jack in the Box/Chic-Fil-A/hot dog stand or some sort of food court with all of the above where people could go sober up/drunk eat before they go home.

For people that are too drunk to function or are getting out of control, there would be a recovery room with a cot to take a nap (ONE PERSON ONLY, there will be no scrumping in the recovery room), aspirin, water and calm lighting. You could go take a power nap, or stay for a few hours while you sober back up to acceptable social behavior. There would be a separate place for people needing to throw up.

The bouncers would prevent the following: creepy and ugly men dancing up on unsuspecting girls and not getting the hint to leave. Creepy and ugly men taking creepy pictures of random people while they're dancing. Annoying girls that want to rearrange the dance floor while they take a picture. Crazy people climbing over fences and busting into the club trying to make trouble. People that are super awkward and don't know how to dance. Basically, they would make sure the dance floor is for dancing and not for any other unwanted shenanigans. They would be the CIA of the club world.

Last but not least, my club would not close until 6 in the morning...or maybe ever. I haven't decided. Stupid people would not be allowed inside and no drugs would be allowed. It would be the most amazing club ever in life.

Now, who would like to help me fund this? Donations welcome.

Dream big people!

As seen on Google reviews

"Reception Jaoky, her behavior is far from a normal human being"

So nice to be appreciated :) Also, an excellent start to my morning.

Actually, it did make me laugh. And another student bought me a croissant so it was not a total loss of a morning. I do love me some croissant.

But I mean really. Far from a normal human being? Like, am I an alien? Maybe she meant I was out of this world, as in totally awesome. Probably not, I know exactly who wrote that (she told me she would) and she was definitely not a fan. But, she's not very specific so it's open to interpertation for anyone else that reads it. Thanks crazy lady! Also, you spelled my name wrong so if you could just correct that, I would appreciate it. I don't want anyone getting confused about who exactly you are talking about.

Also, this post-it begs to differ:

I don't feel very much like a tiger

Also hilarious:



I wish a motherfucker would!

All Better

Well, things were sucking earlier. I had haircut remorse like I always do, people were being rude to me at work and it gets dark at 5:00.

Then I watched this and life was so much better.



That face! Oh my god, so hilarious. Thank you Ellen and Tony for turning my frown upside down!

Dream big people!

Pretty Pictures

Yesterday I went to the beach after work yesterday and it was just so lovely. See:

Then I went home, ate dinner, took a shower, and fell asleep. At 9:00. It was a little ridiculous. I guess the sun wore me out, but I laid down after my shower and just could not convince myself to get back up.

And now I'm tired again, so it's off to bed for me. Getting up early to head to San Diego! Sunday I'm doing Race for the Cure and I'm pretty excited! Hoping for some nice beach weather while I'm there and maybe a trip to Mexico! I would like to add it to my list of countries visited.

Sorry this post is so lame. Here is another picture so don't be mad. I'm sure I'll have something interesting to discuss soon enough.

Dream big, people!

These are my confessions...

What a strange day it's been. I think I feel a cold coming on and I am not pleased about it. Doing my best now to get rid of it before it gets out of control.

Things I need to get off my chest:

I am addicted to Slim Jims. I am so disgusted with myself but I just can't stop eating them. Just saying it out loud make me sad for myself. Pretty sure they are giving me heartburn. I just can't stop!

I didn't vote. And I don't care. I know I'm a terrible American, but I don't really get too involved with politics. They make me angry. People are so stupid and narrow minded, I don't really want to waste my time with it all. It's all corrupt, nothing ever gets done and I'm just happy the political ads will not be on TV anymore.

I am getting super T Oooed (in the Kip voice) with people that do not answer me when I ask them questions via technology. I have long struggled with people and their unenthusiasm. I have come a long way, trust me but it still REALLY irritates me when people don't answer my damn questions. At least say no. Fuck, it is NOT that hard!

I am too cheap to get a haircut. My hair looks so ugly right now but I just can't seem to scrape together the energy and cash it would take to do something about it. I'm also considering growing it out but I always consider that and then we get to this stage and I can't take looking at my ugly hair any more and it gets cut off. I'll see how long I can take it.

I am very confused by the Italian. Don't feel like getting into all that right now.

Last but not least: I have been sneaking bites of this really good pie my roommate made out of the fridge. Don't tell her!

That's all. Nothing too scandalous. So tired.

Dream big people!