Smiling is my favorite!

I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it! Mmm, not really but that is one of my favorite quotes from Elf. I also love that I distinctly remember going to see it freshman year with some excellent company and being like, this movie is awesome! So anyways, not in love but harboring a serious crush. And I don't care who knows it!

Turns out, my imagination is not as crazy as I thought it was. And this, is a very good thing. As much as I love telling everyone every detail of my life, I don't want to get too ahead of myself with this, as I usually do. But, here's what I'll say: Italians are super cute. And this made made my life:

[thank you, facebook chat]:

1:10 Italian:
but'
i'm very happy
1:11pmMe:
why?
1:11pmItalian:
because i have know you
and i want
see one day you


Allloooorrrraaaaaa. Dear goodness, I can't even stand it. I don't even care that it makes no sense at all. Broken English is my weakness. Broken English with an Italian accent (as heard in my head while reading), be still my heart. Seriously. Buying my one way ticket to Milan ASAP.


JUST KIDDING. Kind of. Yes, I know I'm being completely crazy and nonsensical but I do not care. Do not bring me down off this Italian cloud right now please. It will pass, like they all do, thank you very much.

Anyways. In other news. My room is still an oven and it's making it difficult to sleep. I thought I was going to burst into flames and/or melt last night. Tonight, I'm going to have to pop a few sleeping pills if I want to avoid being the walking zombie I was today.

Also, for the record, I would just like to say that I LOVE SPANISH PEOPLE. Not as much as I love Italians, but I still love them.

So tired. Must stop typing. Pretty pictures later.

Dream big people!

Just my imagination...

...running away with me. Stevie Wonder Pandora station trumps all other stations by a hundred million. Also, that is what I have spent all weekend doing...imagining scenarios that are never going to actually happen no matter how much I desperately wish they would. Sad.

Currently, it is hovering around about 1000 degrees in my room. Our apartment is insanely hot. I can't decide which is worse. The crappy weather and bearable living conditions or the nice weather and an oven of an apartment. When I'm at the beach, I take the latter, for sure. Too bad it doesn't work out both ways for me.

Anyways, so the Italian festival was kind of a bust. As was this other festival I went to last night, GLOW. The Italian festival was fun because I was in good company, but I was pretty disappointed in the food selection. These seems to be the trend with LA festivals. Anyways, it was not real authentic Italian food like I was hoping for...it was just things they normally have at Italian restaurants like pizza and pasta with marinara sauce. I was hoping for all the other really yummy sauces they have in Italy but that was not the case. Oh well. There was some good musical entertainment though.

And GLOW festival was just a huge letdown in general. It looked totally awesome online and sounded cool, as it was supposedly a big party on the beach until 3 in the morning. But really, it was just a bunch of weird art exhibits on the beach, all really spread out from each other and all completely bizarre. For one, they filled a lifeguard stand with soap suds. And we stood around and watched the soap suds grow and then some of them started blowing away and making people all soapy. It was nice to be on the beach at night though...I love that. And, I made my Italian friend ride the ferris wheel with me and that was lovely as well. I love ferris wheels!

Today I went to the beach and it was so lovely. Now I'm at home melting, but what are you gonna do?

Dream of AC, that's what I'm gonna do.

Take me out tonight

I went to the craziesssttt club last night! Well, actually it was more strange that it was crazy. It was in the this huge warehouse type thing with a ginormous room filled with all sorts of interesting people dancing to house music. I like house music ok, but I will say that it makes for REALLY interesting crowd watching. And, as an added bonus, I got hit on like, three times! Thus, it is my new favorite place. JK. But I really did have two different guys randomly come up and tell me they liked my hair. It was looking especially good last night, I guess. Another guy came up and asked for my facebook page. Did I engage in conversation with any of these gentlemen? No, I smiled and ran away awkwardly. I really just don't know how to talk to boys...it's very sad. But it was still fun. And weird. A roommate of a friend of a friend was ridiculously drunk and was just standing around smiling like a goober and then I look over and he's throwing up into his drink! On the floor! The best part is that he just kept standing there smiling! I got him a napkin and he's all, I'm fine! I'm fine. My friend stole his drink because we were afraid he was going to start drinking it again. The girl that bought it for him was all, UH! I paid for that! Why are you dumping it out? We were like, trust us, it's for the best. Not worth the $8. Or $12. Another interesting thing, another friend of a friend we were with was dressed like she was straight out of RENT. Which I thought was pretty awesome/odd. I kept wanting to call her Mimi all night..but she was super nice and not on heroin so it was allll goood.

Overall, a lovely evening. And now, off to the Italian Festival in some AMAZING weather. Today, I like LA.

Dream big people!

Same As It Ever Was

If there is one thing I hate more than anything, it's regrets. And that's actually probably not true because I hate lots of things, as discussed in multiple blog posts before. But for right now, regrets is topping the list. I just can't stand it when I do something and then I'm like, dammmmnnnniiitttt, why did I do that? Mainly it's things I say that I end up regretting. Actions accompany sometimes, but it's usually saying things I shouldn't have said. And it almost always involves some silly boy. A lot of times it involves food as well. I'll eat something and I'm all, shit. That is not going to help with the get skinny plan I have. I've had this get skinny plan for quite some time now and it has yet to come to pass. Thus, I have a lot of food regrets. Definitely more boy regrets though. Also some wardrobe regrets, as well as shopper's remorse. Ain't that some shit?

In other news, I watched Glee last night. And I'm not going to lie, I do not feel like a better person for it. I do like Glee. I do. But it's hard for me to watch sometimes because it is SO completely ridiculous. Like, beyond anything I can handle. I know it's TV and that is how it's supposed to be, but really. Matching outfits, matching shoes, singing Empire State of Mind in the courtyard at lunch and literally, no one bats an eye at you? I think the problem comes because they try to present it as high school. I'm sorry, but my high school was no where near as ridiculous as this nonsense and if someone threw a slushee in some one's face, there would be big problems. And kids in choir (closest thing to Glee club, I guess) were not total losers. In fact, the student body president was in choir! She was popular. I often don't relate to horrible high school stories/shows/movies and I'm like, sucks for you. Maybe I missed out, but high school for me was just kind of whatever. I didn't have any enemies and nothing very exciting happened. I had a good time, was involved in everything and wasn't scarred for life. I mean, I had my heartaches and all that nonsense, but nothing too dramatic. I got my senior yearbook stolen, but that was pretty much the worst of it. Oooo-maybe my unknown arch nemesis stole it! I didn't even know about her, but she hated me and stole it, even though it had my name engraved on it. Is it weird that it still makes me angry, 7 years later? Whatever. I don't really let things go very easily.

My mind is all over the place these days. I'm tired, so it's making it worse but I have been a mixed bag of emotions since I got back to LA. I like it, but I don't. There are moments where I'm literally enraged about what went down Sunday and other times where I just have to smile thinking about my wonderful friends and family I got to see. And then on the flip side, I laugh at loud at the absurdity of what happened Sunday and tear up when I think about home and what I'm missing out on. Hormones are such a bitch.

So my brain has just turned to mush and I don't really know where else to go with this post. So I'm going to put a stop to it and hope I'm just in a carb coma from dinner and not going brain dead.

Dream big people!

And It Stoned Me

Gotta keep going with the Van. Sending out the good vibes so I can go to his concert.

People! This weekend was insanity! 90% of it was SO GREAT. Unbelievably great. 10% sucked really really bad. But we'll focus on the good stuff first.

First up, the weather was soo amazing. I got there, ripped off my leggings (don't worry, I had on a dress and this took place in the bathroom) and basked in the glorious sunshine and humidity. Then, I went to Cracker Barrel and enjoyed some Southern goodness in the form of delicious breakfast and sweet tea. Ohhhh sweet tea, I missed you! You literally make me crazy with all your sugar and caffeine. Anyways, then I wandered around in the woods that is the future home of my dad's boat garage/hurricane hideout. After, I went home and took the most glorious nap (red-eye flights suck) on the back porch in the best porch nap taking weather ever. I woke, refreshed and enjoyed an awesome homemade meal of grilled mushrooms and crab legs. MY FAVORITE. Dear god, I love crab legs. Thanks Dad! Really, this weekend was all about the food. Well, the three Fs. Food, family and friends. What could be better?

Thursday night was more good times with friends, shots, ocean breeze, weird music and an unfortunate misunderstanding with a cab driver. So fun. Friday was more goodness. My mom and I ate my favorite lunch and enjoyed the most perfect weather at the best beach in the world. The sun was out in full force, but there was a great breeze to keep it pleasant. And as an added bonus, the ocean was the perfect temperature and I did handstands in the water. I love you Atlantic Ocean. That night, more great food with steaks on the grill, hash brown casserole and corn and feta salad. My goober brothers came over, it was a party. Then we went to a real party and they left me for hotter girls somewhere else, but whatever. I went out downtown for a bit and called it a night.

Then there was Saturday. After a rather uncomfortable car ride, I went to lunch with some of my favorite people in the entire world and ate some more of my favorite foods: fried chicken and macaroni and cheese and.....sweet tea! Man, I love me some Lizards Thicket. Then, I waited around on my ride for 45 minutes and finally made it to the wedding destination in Florence, SC. I put on my ridiculously awesome dress, my fancy earrings and watched two amazing and really good looking people get married in the fastest wedding ceremony I have ever been a part of. The bride later informed me it was 11 minutes long because they were afraid the groom was going to pass out! He had a little medical scare earlier in the week and standing was hazardous to his health. I was concerned, but no worries, he made it through the ceremony and the reception just fine. Unfortunately, he did not make it to the honeymoon. Again, no worries friends, it has been postponed and all is well. They had honeymoon insurance, whatever that means. The whole wedding was so great. So many great friends were there! We drank, we danced, we laughed, we admired my dress, it was so fantastic. I was so so so happy to be there with my friends and so happy to be apart of such a wonderful celebration! It was really great. I loved it, if you can't tell.

Annnnddd then, the crappy 10% happened. I'm not going to go into lots of detail, but I really don't remember ever being so angry with someone. Being drunk didn't really help anything but the other person's behavior was really pretty terrible. I'm taking some blame, for sure but the other person needs to learn how to not be so damn selfish. And rude. And immature. And late. And irresponsible. But whatever. So then, after some nonsense, I ended up at the Florence airport (thank goodness for friends that don't abandon you at hotels) for SIX hours. By myself. It was after some Groucho's, so it wasn't a total loss, but let me tell you about the Florence airport. It has ONE bathroom. One. And you are not allowed to use it after you go through security. Security is two people, one conveyor belt and you only have a small window of time to go through it. If you have to go to the bathroom, you have to leave the "departure lobby," go to the bathroom and then go back through security, so you better hope they are still open for bag checking. There is a sign that tells you there is no bathroom past security, but some people obviously didn't see it. This man was just APPALLED there was no bathroom after security. Like, I get it, it is ridiculous but the sign told you! Stupid ass, you should have gone before. Anyways, the "food court" is also pre-security and it's a room with four vending machines it. Baggage claim is one carousel, there are two check-in gates and the same person that collects your tickets puts your suitcases on the plane. And my favorite part? There four rental car counters. FOUR! I love it! I did not love sitting there for six hours (it was a little on the boring side and there was A LOT of crying going on), but I will take that airport over the insanity that is LAX any day.

So anyways, I'm going to wrap this up because it's getting a little lengthy. So much more to say about the wonderful amazing weekend, but I'll end with the lessons I learned:

1. Stuffing yourself with good southern food is not the way to ensure your awesome dress fits. I squeezed in, but definitely could have used a little more breathing room.
2. Some people suck and are always going to suck. I should probably just stay away.
3. Always look cute when you fly because a cute guy might sit next to you when you look like crap and you've cried your make up off. In fact, you might accidentally flick some of your sandwich on him and be forced to have conversation and you will hate yourself for looking so ugly. Trust me.

That's all really. I would, however, like to pat myself on the back for being such an awesome flyer and being amazing at packing my carry on luggage. Go me.

Dream big people! Van Morrison big!

Have I Told You Lately?

How much I love Van Morrison? Because I do. A lot. And I realllllllllyyyyy want to go to his concert here in October. Like, real bad. Like, it's been a life dream bad. So I've been trying to decide if it's a dream I want to do by myself because as of now, I can't find anyone that wants to go. So we'll see. Fingers crossed someone steps up and decides to be awesome.

I also love Starburst jellybeans and ate pretty much the entire bag today.

I also love ELLLLEEENNN!!!! Her new season started and it's so hilarious, per usual. I do NOT love that someone (a roommate) erased my Ellen show on the DVR! At least I'll always have the internet. But I loved watching it on the TV! Made me feel awesome. Anyways.

And last but not least, I love traveling!! I'm leaving on a jet plane TONIGHT and I really just could not be more excited. I have all my meals planned out, like the fatty that I am. I am pumped about all the good food, sweet tea and good friends I am going to see! And I get to wear my super fantastic dress...hooray!

Last minute packing calls...

Dream big people!

One Night

....in Los Angeles! SO fun!

I'll back up. So Perez Hilton, this crazy celebrity blogger that I read when I'm desperate at work, had a FREE party last night and I won tickets. I was all excited that I was special at first, and then I got there and realized everyone that entered their name won tickets as well. Also, there were all sorts of crazy people there (duh, it's LA) but it was still really fun!

I didn't really know what to expect, but when we got there, we had to stand in a realllly long line and it was getting chilly. Some people got smart and went to the liquor store and started drinking while in line. I kept thinking we were going to move forward and I didn't want to miss getting in, so I didn't go. I also have no money. So we wait and wait and wait, make friends with the others waiting around us, wait some more and finally stuff starts happening. There is a "red carpet" area, that was actually just a roped off piece of cement with a Perez Hilton back drop. "Famous" people started standing in front of it and there were all total weirdos, so it was entertaining. There was one guy wandering around, kind of pirate-esque, with long johns on as pants who had a side kick with a sailor hat on. Not sure what their deal was. In general, it was a bunch of people who think they are famous and important, wearing ridiculous outfits and pretending people care about them. Some random guy dressed like Jesus showed up as well and I wanted to ask him how long it was going to take for us to get inside (since he's all knowing) but he creeped me out to much to actually talk to him.

We finally get in and I still don't really know what to expect. Then, things got started and I had a really great time. People would perform and then a DJ would play in between, which was kind of annoying because what the f was taking so long to get the next person started? But, I'm not complaining because he did play some good music and whatever, things always take forever at concerts. The people that played were: Florence and the Machine (never heard of them), Taio Cruz (he's English! Did anyone else know that?), Pitbull (AMAZING SHOW!) and N.E.R.D (creepy dancers). Everyone was super fun to dance too, even though it was kind of hard to figure out what to do with N.E.R.D. I only knew one of their songs and it's more rock out music that dancing music. But it was still fantastic. Also fantastic, watching all the drunk fools wander around the theater. I really thought this one guy was going to fall over the mezzanine. He made me a little nervous. I also got nervous when these people in front of us got in a tiff over seating issues and had to get an usher involved. And then later, the guy that had to move came back and dumped his drink on the people sitting! I mean, how douchey can you get? I was more embarrassed for the girl holding his hand while he did it. Shit like that makes me so angry/uncomfortable.

However, I did not let that ruin my evening and fun was had by all. Especially the drunk fools sitting behind us. They got a little touchy feely at one point, but one of them was cute so I let it slide. Then we got some In N Out on the way home and life was good.

Tonight, I really wanted to crash the VMAs, which were downtown, but no one else was interested. My back up plan was fireworks at the Hollywood Bowl, but no one was interested in that either, so I sat at home and watched True Blood instead. That show is freaking weird. I watch and I'm like, why am I watching this? This is stupid. But I keep watching anyways.

Anyways, three day work week for me and then I'm leaving on a jet plane!!! So excited, can't stand it! I got the CUTEST dress EVER to wear to the wedding and I don't think I have ever been more excited about wearing something. It is seriously the cutest thing I have ever owned. I'm so in love with it. I have it hanging up on my lamp so it's the last thing I see when I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I get up. I love it that much. It's also there to serve as motivation to not eat like a fatty this week so I will look spectacular in it on Saturday. That's not working so well, but I still like to look at it.

Ok, dream big people! And here are some videos from the party. Sorry they are bumpy and kind of lame. I wanted to dance instead of record. Also, you can hear me singing. Sorry about that as well.

Dazed and Confused

People.

Everyday, things and people amaze me. In both bad and good ways. Let's start with the bad, shall we? I walk down the street and the stench coming off homeless people amazes me. Keep walking, and the choice of clothes on some people amazes me. I go to school, the emails I get and the hair-dos of some of the students amazes me. The fact that some of the other staff members are STILL not able to do the simple things they are supposed to do AMAZES me. I get on the bus and the fact that punks don't give up their seats for old and pregnant people truly amazes me. Where are your manners? I hope when you're old, you have to stand because no one will give up a seat for you. The weather. Enough said about that.

There are a few good things. Sometimes people are really nice, for no reason. That's more pleasant to me, rather than amazing, but you know what I'm saying. There are other things, the sun rising, the tides, the wonder of nature, the circle of life blah blah blah.

But really, let's talk truly astounding, as seen on MSNBC:

"Minister says he won't back down on burning of Quran"

Let's break that down, shall we? Ok, so first up: Minister. This person considers himself a MINISTER, a man of God, someone that is supposed to "assist the officiant in church worship" and he is advocating, my second point: BURNING another religion's highest and most reverent book of worship.

....I've run out of words for this. I had words, but I struggled with how I was going to put them all together and now I have nothing. In the end, what does this crazy person think he is going to accomplish with such acts of hate? I'm so sad people are so dumb. I'm also sad he's from Florida. They do not need any more people dragging Florida, my beautiful birth state, through the mud. Good things can come from there too, I swear!

Anyways, I'm moving on with my day. I've decided to make chicken pot pie tonight and it will be delicious! If I knew any Muslims, I would invite them over. After sundown, of course, as it's Ramadan.

Dream big people! And stop hating, there is room for everyone.

False Alarm

Okkkk, so my life isn't as terrible as I make it seem. I really hate sitting around by myself. Like, really really REALLY hate it. But, things could be worse I suppose. Besides, when things actually do come along for me to do, I get really happy and life is better. Also, when silly Italians send me silly messages and facebook chats, I also get really happy. I don't know what it is, but Italians trying to speak English just really makes smile. Smile so hard I feel like my face is going to crack. German and Spanish accents just don't really do it for me. Sorry guys. Not to say I don't love people with those accents, I'm just saying. Italians just make me want to squeeze their little faces, pinch their bottoms and send them into the kitchen to make me something delicious. This is how I break down the countries at work:

Italy: cook for me, please! And don't stop talking, ever! Baci, baci and more baci adesso!
Germany: why are you here? Your English is fantastic!
France: you are actually not as fantastic as you think you are. Also, you should stop smoking.
Spain: STOP SPEAKING IN SPANISH! But I like your crazy clothes.
Iceland: you are frigid. Makes sense.
Japan: I'm happy you are always so happy! Let's spread that positivity around please.
Taiwan: ....we've only had one. I can't make a consensus.
Czech Republic: you seem nice, but I have my suspicions.
Switzerland: my, you are demanding.
Canada: seriously? No one cares about your country. Get over it.
Brazil: marry me and take me back to your country.
Russia: also, very demanding
Ukraine: you are kind of scary and I am looking forward to you leaving
Azerbaijan: you are very quiet.

I think that just about covers everyone. God only knows what they are thinking about us.

In other news: my cousin, who is MY AGE is going to be having a baby next month. That's right people, sometime in the ridiculously near future, she is going to be pushing a small child out of her you know what. Anyone else weirded out? No? Just me? Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to pieces for this baby to come and I can't wait until I save up enough money and vacation time to go visit the little booger in England, but I am just kind of floored at how far along in life she is. We are only seven months apart and she is bringing another human into the world and I'm contributing nothing of the sort. Life is weird.

Side note: Van Morrison is playing here October 8. I must go. Please, come join.

Last but not least, today is the one year anniversary of one fantastic grandpa's passing, Mr. Pa Carney. I miss you Pa!

Dream big, people.

PS-Happy 250th post!

Days Like This

I hate days like this. I love the song "Days Like This," by Van Morrison but I hate actual days like today. Today is beautiful, the sun is out, the birds are singing and I'm sitting at home, doing nothing. I don't know what to do with myself, I don't know where to go and I have no one to do anything with. I HATE days like this. I know it's really my own fault for sitting at home like a loser, but I can't really figure out what else to do! I have a car, thanks to school, but here I sit. I could go shopping, but I don't really want to spend money and I could probably go to one of the gazillion different attractions LA has to offer, but who really wants to do that kind of stuff alone? Not this girl. And on top of that, I have a fucking hangnail! Dammit!

Yes, I know. I know life isn't really that bad and I have lots to be grateful for, blah blah blah. But there is really nothing I hate more than sitting around with nothing to do. I am a social person and if I had things my way, I would be doing something every second of every day. Ok, not every second. I do like to sleep. And I do like reading and being alone every now and then, but really, I would be fine with alone time like, once a month. Maybe twice.

Days like this, I feel like everyone else has a life and friends and I have neither. There was an Earth, Wind and Fire concert at the Hollywood Bowl last night, complete with fireworks and thanks to poor planning and a lack of available company on my part, I did not get to go. Very upsetting. I feel like every day there is something I miss out on because I don't have people available. I also get a little upset with some of the people I do know here because they can be lame and don't want to do super fun, awesome stuff. I really hate when people ignore me. And even more than that, I really hate being bored. So when people ignore me and boredom is the consequence, I am just super peeved.

So that's that. Sorry to be bitchy. The weekend just did not get off to a good start and things have yet to improve. I stuck my foot in my mouth, yet again. I started choking on it this time and now the stupid things I said are just floating around in my head, mocking me. I am very upset that a time travel machine has not been invented yet so I could go back and fix the horrible mess I made. Don't worry, I'm totally over-exaggerating, but I was completely embarrassed and upset with myself on Friday. And today, I went to a park to enjoy some sun and was sitting at a picnic table reading and this family comes up and sets up their dinner! They asked, but it was really just kind of awkward. I sat while they enjoyed a lovely family picnic. They did offer me some, which was nice, but the whole thing was really just uncomfortable. Also, I am pretty sure I was the only non Hispanic person at this park. Not that it bothered me, it was just something I noticed. I really wish I could speak Spanish.

Fingers crossed tomorrow brings some better times. Bah.

Nothing Ever Hurt Like You

So not too many interesting things going on over here in LA LA land. I went to an Emmy's party on Sunday. It was kind of interesting being the only one who didn't really give two shits about what happened. Everyone else there was part of "the biz" and even made ballots and stuff to see who would guess the most right....that was not me. But I also didn't get the least amount right! I think Jimmy Fallon is so fantasticaly hilarious, so I was pretty entertained the whole time. I did notice a severe lack of Ellen, but I think there are different shows for day time and prime time Emmys? I don't really know. What I really want to know is this: how do some of these people, with an bottomless budget and seemingly neverending closet still manage to pick out some ugly ass outfits? And not just ugly things, but things that really just are not flattering at all. How do they do it?! And why don't they have any friends (or a mom) that is just like, listen, I love you and you're famous and all, but that dress looks like shit on you. Don't do it. You'll thank me later. Everyone needs someone like that. I won't name names, but some people were really struggling.

In other news, I got nothing. I had two major fails this past week in the land of boys and it's really quite depressing. I haven't lost all hope on one, but things are looking pretty grim. Ooooh, how I wish I had some game. That would be amazing.

Going home in two weeks! Can't wait!

Dream big people!