Yay! The eggs came out today! And it actually went much, much better than I thought it was going to. I was really afraid I was going to be super sore and nauseous, but I am feeling pretty good. My dad is the one that ended up taking me to the place...that was a little awkward. Only because the nurse and everyone was talking about girl stuff with him right there. Also, when I woke up from the anesthesia, I felt like I was super drunk and kept saying retarded things. I mean, I say stupid things anyway, but I just couldn't make myself stop. And in all honesty, I thought it was pretty funny, but the neither the nurse or my dad looked particularly amused. So I kinda wish I had someone more fun there. But oh well. Either way, I now am $3500 richer and seriously, that was the easiest $3500 I have ever made. It's almost as much money that I made at the ranch, and I had to spend four months in hell for that! The only thing that stinks now is that I can't drive for the rest of the day and all I really want to do is go to the beach and/or go shopping. I need a chauffeur. Too bad my sister is not all that nice, she'd be perfect.
Anywho, I'm going back to my heating pad now. But I feel fine...just a tad bit crampy, no worries people.
Later dudes.
30 April 2008
24 April 2008
You're Welcome
I'm really tired and will be returning to this post to add more later, promise. But for now, my dear loyal readers, I wanted to share with you this little jobby I found on the Go Fug Yourself website:
Fuggifer Fugpez Fugoa Fugdd almost-Fugfleck Fugthony
It is perhaps my most favorite of all the pictures. First off, I love that they do J. Lo's section in her voice. So fabulous. And also, that outfit? Seriously? Celebrities kill me. They are the biggest waste of space and money. I mean, someone got paid to make that shit and then I'm sure J. Lo had to pay big bucks to wear it. Those shoes make me hurt. And I won't even discuss the rest of the outfit. She looks like a complete idiot. As do most celebs. However, I guess it's not a total waste because without their idiot selves, how would I entertain myself at work?
I also found this website: Stuff God Hates. It has potential to be funny...but I think it's trying a little too hard.
Also, the egg retrieval is going to be Sunday (fingers crossed)! As long as my follicles cooperate, we should be all systems go. Get excited!
More later bitches. Ciaooo
Fuggifer Fugpez Fugoa Fugdd almost-Fugfleck Fugthony
It is perhaps my most favorite of all the pictures. First off, I love that they do J. Lo's section in her voice. So fabulous. And also, that outfit? Seriously? Celebrities kill me. They are the biggest waste of space and money. I mean, someone got paid to make that shit and then I'm sure J. Lo had to pay big bucks to wear it. Those shoes make me hurt. And I won't even discuss the rest of the outfit. She looks like a complete idiot. As do most celebs. However, I guess it's not a total waste because without their idiot selves, how would I entertain myself at work?
I also found this website: Stuff God Hates. It has potential to be funny...but I think it's trying a little too hard.
Also, the egg retrieval is going to be Sunday (fingers crossed)! As long as my follicles cooperate, we should be all systems go. Get excited!
More later bitches. Ciaooo
16 April 2008
White Hot
This particular blog was created pretty much only because I want to discuss the crazy lady at my gym. She actually kind of scares me a little. bit. First off, she's there ALL the time. I've been to the gym at really random times before and sure enough, there she is. 9:00 on Monday night, 11:00 Saturday morning, 3:00 Sunday afternoon, she's there. She is either on the elliptical machine or the stationary bike. And she is super skinny already, so she really doesn't need to be working out in the first place (that is what I think about all skinny people-they need to stop working out and get fat like me). But here is the really crazy part-she is always exercising in spandex, a sweatshirt and with like, 8 towels piled on top of her head. I really think she has problems. She looks like a wrestler trying to sweat off extra pounds before a match. Only she's like, 60 and clearly not a wrestler. I think she needs help. I've thought about saying something to the people that work there, but it's like two high school boys, so I don't think they would really care. It also makes me sad that I have to go to the gym alone and don't have anyone there to laugh at her with me. I look around at the other people there sometimes, but no one else seems to notice.
Soccer game monday. We scored. So we're improving. The other team scored three times as many goals, but we're going to focus on the two that we scored. The other team had a beast too, so it was a little unfair. I think out of the eight goals they scored, this one girl scored six of them. We had some crying, as always, but it was a little more justified this time...she got hit in the face with the ball. So I'm hoping Saturday is going to be our big comeback. It's going to be great.
Since I've been reading the "Stuff White People Like," I have been very aware of just how white I am. I thought maybe I would have some credibility since I dated a black person, but I think even if did, it's been lost by now. I mean, first off, the person was a complete loser, secondly, it's been awhile since that, and lastly (and also my personal favorite), I got replaced because I was in fact, not black. So anyways, it was cracking me up yesterday because I was so extremely white. First I went to the gym and listened to white people music on my ipod. After that, I went home, grabbed my reusuable grocery bag and walked myself to the farmer's market. Then I walked back home, planted some flowers and made myself a lovely white person dinner. All in all, a fabulously white afternoon.
Holy crap, new favorite website- Go Fug Yourself. Just discovered it at work and it is freaking hysterical. I will no longer be looking for a job, I'll be reading this website instead. And will be jealous and wishing it were my job to judge stupid ass, fugly celebrities.
Hm, so this deviated a little from just the crazy lady, but whatever.
Ciaoooo.
Soccer game monday. We scored. So we're improving. The other team scored three times as many goals, but we're going to focus on the two that we scored. The other team had a beast too, so it was a little unfair. I think out of the eight goals they scored, this one girl scored six of them. We had some crying, as always, but it was a little more justified this time...she got hit in the face with the ball. So I'm hoping Saturday is going to be our big comeback. It's going to be great.
Since I've been reading the "Stuff White People Like," I have been very aware of just how white I am. I thought maybe I would have some credibility since I dated a black person, but I think even if did, it's been lost by now. I mean, first off, the person was a complete loser, secondly, it's been awhile since that, and lastly (and also my personal favorite), I got replaced because I was in fact, not black. So anyways, it was cracking me up yesterday because I was so extremely white. First I went to the gym and listened to white people music on my ipod. After that, I went home, grabbed my reusuable grocery bag and walked myself to the farmer's market. Then I walked back home, planted some flowers and made myself a lovely white person dinner. All in all, a fabulously white afternoon.
Holy crap, new favorite website- Go Fug Yourself. Just discovered it at work and it is freaking hysterical. I will no longer be looking for a job, I'll be reading this website instead. And will be jealous and wishing it were my job to judge stupid ass, fugly celebrities.
Hm, so this deviated a little from just the crazy lady, but whatever.
Ciaoooo.
15 April 2008
Oh What a Miracle Am I
So this blog is going to be really random and retarded because I don't have anything really to write about. I'm at work and it's freezing in the office. But I guess that's not really anything new, so whatever. But just wanted to warn people (all my adoring fans that read this) that extreme randomness is coming your way.
First off, Sarah rocks my face off for taking the time to actually research what Chris Brown is talking about. It all makes sense now. That Chris Brown...not only is he super fine, but he is also so clever with his witty analogies. I'd be his Jordans EVERY day, you know what I'm saying? Holla Chris.
My mom was telling me the other day about how she sings songs to her first grade class and I started singing some of the million camp songs I have learned over the years and I wanted to share one of personal favorites (I have four). It's called "Oh, What a Miracle" and I don't know the tune to tell you, but if you're ever around me, I'll sing it for you. Here goes:
[chorus..there are movements involved as well]
Oh, what a miracle,
Oh, what a miracle
Every little part of me
I'm so special, so very special
Ain't nobody quite like me!
[then you make up a few verses]
I've gotta ____[nose]___ (point to your nose)
I've gotta nose
Watch me ______[pick it]____ (pick your nose)
Watch me pick it
OH, what a miracle am I!
[more verses, then the chorus again]
So you can make up all kinds of good stuff for the verses, like, I've got a appendix...watch it do nothing...I've got eyes, watch me watch you. Get creative...it's fun.
My other favorites are This Little Light of Mine, Be a Great Boy/Girl, and the Y song. Oh, and Camp Greenville High. So I guess I have five. Oh man, I am such a nerd.
To further prove what a nerd I am, I am now going to talk about facebook and how it is getting completely out of control. Ok, first off, it needs to back up out of my business and quit telling me who I should be friends with. If I wanted to be friends with those people, I probably already would be. Especially with a school like PC...if I'm not already their friend and they are friends with lots of my friends..it's probably because I don't really like them. So back off facebook. I also don't need facebook making me feel like a loser with the "Wish you weren't lonely?" ad. Of course I wish that, but I don't need fb rubbing it my face. And the super hot guy that is pictured on the ad probably isn't interested in me. And even if he was, he probably lives really far away and/or has already been picked up by some other facebook loser that actually clicks on those ads. I also don't want to look at some fatty's muffin tops while I'm facebook stalking. They're distracting, as well as disgusting. And really, I feel sorry for the poor girl who's nasty back fat is featured on facebook for millions of people to see. That's just embarrassing. And lastly, I don't care what kind of pin-up girl, dog, vampire or princess I would be. That seriously has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. And I will say that even though I refuse to add the "top friends" feature to my profile...it does make me a little bit sad when I'm not in someones top friends.
Another crazy work story-a young guy came in (my age) with his mother and I guess grandmother but couldn't pee at first. So he's drinking water in the lobby and the mom looks at me and is like, well if he can't go, you can just take mine can't you? Um, what?! No, crazy lady, I cannot substitute your pee for your sons. It doesn't work like that. I swear, some people are just beyond ridiculous.
In other news, in every game I've played in this week (cause I'm ballin'...oh yeah, and speaking of ballin, there is a caseworker for DSS who's last name is Baller and I think that is so awesome and am thinking of asking him to marry me so that can be my last name too), my team has gotten murdered. It's actually quite sad. We did alright in kickball and in softball we were pretty rag tag, but we at least scored. However, in soccer on Saturday..we were struggling big time. I don't think my team even got down to the other end of the field. I think it was like 11-0. They were all crazy too...I don't know if it was because it was Saturday or what (maybe they were all excited about new Jordans?) but I think everyone on the team cried at least once. Hopefully we can pull ourselves together tonight. There's no crying in soccer!
Ok, this is getting out of control. So I'll stop.
Ciao!
First off, Sarah rocks my face off for taking the time to actually research what Chris Brown is talking about. It all makes sense now. That Chris Brown...not only is he super fine, but he is also so clever with his witty analogies. I'd be his Jordans EVERY day, you know what I'm saying? Holla Chris.
My mom was telling me the other day about how she sings songs to her first grade class and I started singing some of the million camp songs I have learned over the years and I wanted to share one of personal favorites (I have four). It's called "Oh, What a Miracle" and I don't know the tune to tell you, but if you're ever around me, I'll sing it for you. Here goes:
[chorus..there are movements involved as well]
Oh, what a miracle,
Oh, what a miracle
Every little part of me
I'm so special, so very special
Ain't nobody quite like me!
[then you make up a few verses]
I've gotta ____[nose]___ (point to your nose)
I've gotta nose
Watch me ______[pick it]____ (pick your nose)
Watch me pick it
OH, what a miracle am I!
[more verses, then the chorus again]
So you can make up all kinds of good stuff for the verses, like, I've got a appendix...watch it do nothing...I've got eyes, watch me watch you. Get creative...it's fun.
My other favorites are This Little Light of Mine, Be a Great Boy/Girl, and the Y song. Oh, and Camp Greenville High. So I guess I have five. Oh man, I am such a nerd.
To further prove what a nerd I am, I am now going to talk about facebook and how it is getting completely out of control. Ok, first off, it needs to back up out of my business and quit telling me who I should be friends with. If I wanted to be friends with those people, I probably already would be. Especially with a school like PC...if I'm not already their friend and they are friends with lots of my friends..it's probably because I don't really like them. So back off facebook. I also don't need facebook making me feel like a loser with the "Wish you weren't lonely?" ad. Of course I wish that, but I don't need fb rubbing it my face. And the super hot guy that is pictured on the ad probably isn't interested in me. And even if he was, he probably lives really far away and/or has already been picked up by some other facebook loser that actually clicks on those ads. I also don't want to look at some fatty's muffin tops while I'm facebook stalking. They're distracting, as well as disgusting. And really, I feel sorry for the poor girl who's nasty back fat is featured on facebook for millions of people to see. That's just embarrassing. And lastly, I don't care what kind of pin-up girl, dog, vampire or princess I would be. That seriously has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. And I will say that even though I refuse to add the "top friends" feature to my profile...it does make me a little bit sad when I'm not in someones top friends.
Another crazy work story-a young guy came in (my age) with his mother and I guess grandmother but couldn't pee at first. So he's drinking water in the lobby and the mom looks at me and is like, well if he can't go, you can just take mine can't you? Um, what?! No, crazy lady, I cannot substitute your pee for your sons. It doesn't work like that. I swear, some people are just beyond ridiculous.
In other news, in every game I've played in this week (cause I'm ballin'...oh yeah, and speaking of ballin, there is a caseworker for DSS who's last name is Baller and I think that is so awesome and am thinking of asking him to marry me so that can be my last name too), my team has gotten murdered. It's actually quite sad. We did alright in kickball and in softball we were pretty rag tag, but we at least scored. However, in soccer on Saturday..we were struggling big time. I don't think my team even got down to the other end of the field. I think it was like 11-0. They were all crazy too...I don't know if it was because it was Saturday or what (maybe they were all excited about new Jordans?) but I think everyone on the team cried at least once. Hopefully we can pull ourselves together tonight. There's no crying in soccer!
Ok, this is getting out of control. So I'll stop.
Ciao!
08 April 2008
Burning questions
Here's what I want to know: why do middle aged men think wearing push-up socks with shorts is acceptable? At what point in a man's life do they make the change from ankle socks to push-up socks? Or, are there two different kinds of men, those who wear ankle socks and those who wear push-up socks? If that's the way it is, then I definitely need an ankle sock wearing kind of guy. This burning question came about after I went to my first softball "practice" on Sunday. I don't know if it counted as a real practice since it was me, five middle aged men, a muddy, unusable field and one extremely heavy wooden bat. I think you need a little more than that to constitute a real practice. I could be wrong though. I hope the team works out though, because I really want to play softball. I was hoping to meet some cute guys that are my age, but it's looking like everyone is going to be at least 15 years older. Maybe they can get me a job or something...or maybe they have kids. We'll see.
So I did the Cooper River Bridge Run on Saturday. And by run, I mean I walked it. And even though it took me an hour and a half, I still beat about 20,000 people. So yeah, I'm pretty awesome. Not quite as awesome as the Kenyans that won the whole thing. They were finished, showered and receiving medals before the last people had even crossed the finish line. Isn't that insane?! That nonsense just blows my mind. And they fact that they ran 6.2 miles (nearly 2 of them uphill) in 28 minutes. TWENTY-EIGHT MINUTES. Complete insanity. I can't even imagine being able to do such a thing. And just in case I ever think that I could ever be capable of doing such a thing, I'll hopefully remember how sore I was in the days after walking 6.2 miles. It's really quite sad and I am working on forcing myself to change that. I'm counting softball practice as a step in the right direction.
The housewarming party was fun. Nothing too crazy happened. I apparently made some bomb ass hunch punch. I don't actually know, since I stuck to wine all night. Don't really have anything else to say..what happens on Fairmont, stays on Fairmont. Ok, I'm just being dramatic...it's just that nothing much really happened.
So here's what else I really want to know: what is Chris Brown talking about when he says "You're like Jordans on Saturday?!?!??!" I know I've asked this before, but I would really like to know. I would also like to know why a company would send me an email with the subject line, "Open Position at Blackbaud," make me all excited thinking there's an open position they'd like me to fill and then have the actual email tell me they decided to go with someone more qualified. That is just asshole right there. Someone at Blackbaud is mean.
That's all I got for now. No more questions your honor.
Ciaoooo
So I did the Cooper River Bridge Run on Saturday. And by run, I mean I walked it. And even though it took me an hour and a half, I still beat about 20,000 people. So yeah, I'm pretty awesome. Not quite as awesome as the Kenyans that won the whole thing. They were finished, showered and receiving medals before the last people had even crossed the finish line. Isn't that insane?! That nonsense just blows my mind. And they fact that they ran 6.2 miles (nearly 2 of them uphill) in 28 minutes. TWENTY-EIGHT MINUTES. Complete insanity. I can't even imagine being able to do such a thing. And just in case I ever think that I could ever be capable of doing such a thing, I'll hopefully remember how sore I was in the days after walking 6.2 miles. It's really quite sad and I am working on forcing myself to change that. I'm counting softball practice as a step in the right direction.
The housewarming party was fun. Nothing too crazy happened. I apparently made some bomb ass hunch punch. I don't actually know, since I stuck to wine all night. Don't really have anything else to say..what happens on Fairmont, stays on Fairmont. Ok, I'm just being dramatic...it's just that nothing much really happened.
So here's what else I really want to know: what is Chris Brown talking about when he says "You're like Jordans on Saturday?!?!??!" I know I've asked this before, but I would really like to know. I would also like to know why a company would send me an email with the subject line, "Open Position at Blackbaud," make me all excited thinking there's an open position they'd like me to fill and then have the actual email tell me they decided to go with someone more qualified. That is just asshole right there. Someone at Blackbaud is mean.
That's all I got for now. No more questions your honor.
Ciaoooo
02 April 2008
Ballin'
Literally. But I'll get to that later.
oooooh-GOOD weekend! (I started writing this post on Monday and am just now finishing it...oops) 100% fabulous. Wait, maybe 90%...car not starting was less than fabulous. But, Ralph (the car) is better than ever now, so all is well. So, let's talk bachelorette party. Whoa, crazy times. I'd never been to one before, so I didn't really know what to expect, but it turned out to be really fun. Nellifers came down and we partied it up with Katie and her friends at Pantheon. Yes, that's right. This would be my second visit to the gay club in the last two months. Both times were fun, so I'm not ashamed. Other than the penis party favors, my favorite part of the evening would have to be when a girl danced up to me, asked if I was straight and then danced off when I told her yes. I was a little sad to see her go, I'm not gonna lie. JK..she wasn't that hot.
On to Saturday. Things didn't look that promising after it turned freezing and Ralph wouldn't start..but thanks to indoor heating and Ray letting me borrow his car, things picked up. Not only did I get to leave, but I also did it with class, red BMW convertible style. Um, it's a 94 so don't get too jealous...and it was raining and freezing, so I couldn't enjoy the convertible part. Anyways, I went to Columbia and met up with some of my absolute favorite people. Had some fabulous pizza and ice cream with the fabulous Kelly and Sarah. Kelly is off on her Asian adventure soon! I'm excited for her, but also super jealous and sad that I won't get to see her for a long time. And Sarah rocks my face off. I mean, not only is she one of the only people that read this (hey Sarah!) but she's also just all around awesome. And she needs to come visit asap. Anyways, then I met up with Katrina and Jeannie, my wonderful college roomies and we had fun, even though we hung out with slightly awkward boys at a slightly boring bar. I loved hanging out with them though. And I MISS them..and everyone! I hate being out of college and having all my best buds spread out all over the world. :( But I need to get over that...so onto my real life....
We won our first soccer game! Gooooo Grassroots! Well, kind of.... it was raining Monday afternoon, so only three kids showed up. The team we were playing (white team) had a full roster, so we combined with another team (Harris Teeter), who also only had three kids, and played against the white team. Two kids on the other team were a-mazing! Probably better than me. One scored in the first five seconds of the game. So yeah, we won. I am not looking forward to the day we play Harris Teeter though. Maybe it'll be raining again. Their coach said some of the kids had been playing together for three years...since they were three! That's crazy!
Ok, so the ballin part. I went to my kickball meeting and signed up for a softball team! I am a sports coaching/playing fool! Well, I don't know if the softball team is for real yet..but I really hope so because I actually wanted to play softball instead of kickball, but didn't have anyone to play with. But some guys came up to us a the kickoff meeting last night and said they needed more girls for their team, so I offered. The only thing holding me back is the fee, but since they are desperate, I might be able to strike a deal and get some of it paid for. ::fingers crossed::
So, yeah, I'm pretty awesome. The egg donation thing started as well, so I have to give myself injections ever day. It's really not that bad. Needles don't bother me and it doesn't hurt, so I'm doing fine. I just have to remember to do it every day..which might be difficult on the weekends since I have to do it in the morning. Maybe the money will go towards a new car...we'll see. That's not really what I want to spend it on, but I don't know how much longer Ralph is going to make it. Maybe if I wash him more often he'll start behaving. Also, I learned today that one of my roommates not only stole my dental floss, but also broke it. He thought it was his...I guess he figured since he is so awesome and in dental school, he is the only one that flosses. Nay nay friend, I also care about my teeth. Especially after my four cavity visit to the dentist in December. How embarassing is that?
That's all folks. Ciao!
oooooh-GOOD weekend! (I started writing this post on Monday and am just now finishing it...oops) 100% fabulous. Wait, maybe 90%...car not starting was less than fabulous. But, Ralph (the car) is better than ever now, so all is well. So, let's talk bachelorette party. Whoa, crazy times. I'd never been to one before, so I didn't really know what to expect, but it turned out to be really fun. Nellifers came down and we partied it up with Katie and her friends at Pantheon. Yes, that's right. This would be my second visit to the gay club in the last two months. Both times were fun, so I'm not ashamed. Other than the penis party favors, my favorite part of the evening would have to be when a girl danced up to me, asked if I was straight and then danced off when I told her yes. I was a little sad to see her go, I'm not gonna lie. JK..she wasn't that hot.
On to Saturday. Things didn't look that promising after it turned freezing and Ralph wouldn't start..but thanks to indoor heating and Ray letting me borrow his car, things picked up. Not only did I get to leave, but I also did it with class, red BMW convertible style. Um, it's a 94 so don't get too jealous...and it was raining and freezing, so I couldn't enjoy the convertible part. Anyways, I went to Columbia and met up with some of my absolute favorite people. Had some fabulous pizza and ice cream with the fabulous Kelly and Sarah. Kelly is off on her Asian adventure soon! I'm excited for her, but also super jealous and sad that I won't get to see her for a long time. And Sarah rocks my face off. I mean, not only is she one of the only people that read this (hey Sarah!) but she's also just all around awesome. And she needs to come visit asap. Anyways, then I met up with Katrina and Jeannie, my wonderful college roomies and we had fun, even though we hung out with slightly awkward boys at a slightly boring bar. I loved hanging out with them though. And I MISS them..and everyone! I hate being out of college and having all my best buds spread out all over the world. :( But I need to get over that...so onto my real life....
We won our first soccer game! Gooooo Grassroots! Well, kind of.... it was raining Monday afternoon, so only three kids showed up. The team we were playing (white team) had a full roster, so we combined with another team (Harris Teeter), who also only had three kids, and played against the white team. Two kids on the other team were a-mazing! Probably better than me. One scored in the first five seconds of the game. So yeah, we won. I am not looking forward to the day we play Harris Teeter though. Maybe it'll be raining again. Their coach said some of the kids had been playing together for three years...since they were three! That's crazy!
Ok, so the ballin part. I went to my kickball meeting and signed up for a softball team! I am a sports coaching/playing fool! Well, I don't know if the softball team is for real yet..but I really hope so because I actually wanted to play softball instead of kickball, but didn't have anyone to play with. But some guys came up to us a the kickoff meeting last night and said they needed more girls for their team, so I offered. The only thing holding me back is the fee, but since they are desperate, I might be able to strike a deal and get some of it paid for. ::fingers crossed::
So, yeah, I'm pretty awesome. The egg donation thing started as well, so I have to give myself injections ever day. It's really not that bad. Needles don't bother me and it doesn't hurt, so I'm doing fine. I just have to remember to do it every day..which might be difficult on the weekends since I have to do it in the morning. Maybe the money will go towards a new car...we'll see. That's not really what I want to spend it on, but I don't know how much longer Ralph is going to make it. Maybe if I wash him more often he'll start behaving. Also, I learned today that one of my roommates not only stole my dental floss, but also broke it. He thought it was his...I guess he figured since he is so awesome and in dental school, he is the only one that flosses. Nay nay friend, I also care about my teeth. Especially after my four cavity visit to the dentist in December. How embarassing is that?
That's all folks. Ciao!
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