Serving Suggestion

I think this is funny. It's packaged "cheese curls" and on the package it says "serving suggestion." I guess they are suggesting to open the bag and pour them into a bowl. Thanks! I think I'll try that!

Usually the package has a picture of the prepared food with some sort of embellishment, like more vegetables or decorative garnishes, for a suggestion which makes more sense.

Ohhhh man. Sorry this is so lame. The hunger is getting to me. I should just delete this silly post, but I'm not wasting the time and energy it took to take and upload this picture, so I'm sharing it you people even if it's stupid.

Dream big people!

One Less Jobless Girl

Hiiiii friends.

FYI: It's raining in LA because I told my mom I didn't need rain shoes since it hardly ever rains here. So, sorry Angelenos.

Today was a good day. I am still super hungry but I have been inspired by awesome comments on the blog. Yay for friends! Especially high school friends :) They've been pulling through in a big way lately. Makes my heart smile.

Also, um, ARTIE was on ELLEN! I love it when two of my favorite people come together. Also, for anyone that didn't know, his real name is not Artie, it's Kevin and he can walk. I'm really proud of him. He was awesome, duh. Also, he actually said he first went to the show, was in the riff raff room and then made it into the actual audience. And then, he was on the show as a guest! So that is pretty much my course of action. Riff raff: done. Actual audience: done. Next up: GUEST (or job...or a combination of the two). THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN PEOPLE. Mark my words.

After Kevin/Artie was a girl that won a cruise which is awesome, but whatever I'm not jealous. For one, I've been to Europe. And for two, I'm going to be ON Ellen as a guest and then she'll give me a job and then I'll be able to afford my own cruise. Currently, I can afford pretty much nothing other than the basics. And an occasional trip to the movies. Like tonight, I saw NEVER SAY NEVER, Directors Cut edition! You're jealllouussss! I won't lie, I LOVED it. It was hilarious, had good music and was just really entertaining. It was stupid expensive, but worth it. The crying girls were a TRIP. Seriously, such goobers. My favorite was the girl that was like, "we are going to get married. We will be husband and wife." In a borderline scary voice. She meant business.

I've already expressed my admiration for the Biebs, so I won't go into all of it again. I will say, he was a SUPER cute little kid. He's still cute, but he was beyond precious! And, I'll say this: I think it's pretty awesome that he makes people so happy just by being him. I think that is a really good thing to inspire to. Just make people happy by showing up. I just want to help people and make them happy and if I could do it just by shaking their hand or taking a picture with them, how awesome would that be? Beyond awesome. Unlikely, so I'm going to have to figure out another way but that is my goal in life. Make people happy. Even if it's by riding on someone's (Ellens) coat-tails.

There was a sing-a-long at the end of the movie that was awesome as well. Pretty sure my friend and I were the only ones dancing/singing but whatever, everyone else was lame. I kind of wish we had gone with a bunch of teeny boppers, but I don't think I even know any teenagers in LA, so oh well. And, Ellen was in it! Hooray! I am just further inspired to NEVER SAY NEVER and figure out how to get to meet her. I re-mixed all the Biebs song's to fit my dreams on the ride home. Me plus Ellen equals a job...lemme tell you one time. And I was like, Ellen, ellen, ellen. There'll be one less jobless girl It was better in person, trust me. (I know, I have a job, but it's creative license and I meant one less girl without a crap job)

Wooooo, now I'm super tired. Big day of room cleaning, TV watching and Ellen-giving-me-a-job scheming. Night night!

Dream big people!

Gonna make a change

I don't know if it was Who's Bad or what, but I have decided to take a step towards some change in my life.

I didn't really want to blog about this, but I decided to because apparently having a support system is important.

I started Jenny Craig Wednesday.

There. I said it. I'm embarrassed and I hate myself just a little bit but I hate being fat more. I don't really want to hear anyone say I'm not fat because I am. And it really doesn't matter what anyone else says because you're not me and I'm the most important person that ever lived.

Ok, fat is a little harsh but I am most definitely overweight. I'm not brave enough to say my weight just yet but let's just say my goal is lose 40 pounds.

40. Can you believe that? It's going to take forever and I fucking hate long term goals. But again, I'm really tired of being overweight. I feel disgusting pretty much all the time and am really just ready to not feel this way anymore.

I think it's going to be really really hard. Other than my awesome trip home, I have been in a terrible terrible mood for like, weeks and I don't know if this is going to help or hurt things. I get super frustrated really quickly so I can see myself giving up. But I also REALLY want this to work.

I'm telling you, blog reader friends, because they told me it's good to have support and since I only have about 2 supportive friends here in LA, I thought I should reach out. I don't really know what being "supportive" means in terms of blog readers and losing weight, but this blog is where I put the majority of my thoughts. So, really, it's probably going to turn more into a bitchfest about how hungry I am and how progress is not going as planned. So be prepared for that. But, if you want to say supportive things, that will be nice as well.

I am a little excited about the whole thing. However, it is, like most everything in life, more work that I was expecting/wanted. I honestly don't know what I was expecting but planning literally everything I eat is not that fun. Also not fun, trying to figure out what I can and can't eat, buying those things and resisting eating what I already have.

I'm sure things will get easier but it's currently day two and I'm hungry. I was all pumped because I was totally stuffed after breakfast but lunch has not left me feeling satisfied. This is not totally unusual, I'm pretty much hungry all the time so I'm just going to have to do a better job of eating what I'm supposed to as opposed to what I want.

Also, I'm kind of already feeling downtrodden. I was all about it a few days ago but now I already feel like it's hopeless and I should just be ok with who I am. But I won't give up just yet! At least this week...I've spent the money, I'm sticking to it. Also, I kind of got out of my funk a little today and working on being more positive.

Looking forward to a good weekend. A good, hungry weekend.

Dream big people!

The Wet Devil

Cue the trumpets! Glleeee time!

Alcohol! Finally. Something I can relate to. Only not in high school, didn't touch the stuff. Didn't know what I was missing out on, obvi. JUST KIDDING. Underage drinking is wrong.

Ok, so I did live blog it, but I re-read it and it was all pretty much crap so I'm just going to do a quick summary of my Glee thoughts.

Never mind, I don't know how to do quick so here are some long ass thoughts and random quips from the live stuff I wrote when watching it, in bold. I put it all on here because I feel like I shouldn't waste my real life and breathe having an actual conversation with someone about it. Makes me feel super lame, even though I obviously am lame.

1. I thought the whole thing was pretty poorly done. I was not a fan of this episode. I have conflicting feelings about it. I spent a lot of the episode cringing, with my mouth gaping opening or exclaiming: WHAT?? Seriously?!!!! And yes, I said it out loud to my TV. Some of it was painfully familiar and some of it was just painful. And ridiculous. All the drunk pining was making my heart hurt.

2. I like that they tried to have a lesson learned at the end, but the whole thing just seemed forced and awkward. Also, the puke looked totally fake and they still managed to have a kick ass show AND win praise from the principal. And anyone that has ever thrown up from drinking knows good and well that is not going to stop you from drinking again. It'll stop you from drinking the rest of the night, but you'll actually feel better in the morning. I don't know anyone that has ever sworn off drinking on account of public vomiting. And I know a lot of people that have participated in public vomiting. I think if they really wanted to step it up a notch, they should have had more severe consequences to them drinking. Maybe not someone dying, but something more substantial. They are pretty quick to turn everything into a gay issue, they could do the same with other issues. Oh, and Rachel totally would have vomed from all that jumping around. I hate that song too, because of a Chips Ahoy commercial from a while ago.

3. I love Artie. I know he's not real, but he is my favorite and I want us to hang out. I ain't no pony express.

4. Finn is the reason Rachel was drinking in the first place and it made me angry he was such an ass about her being drunk. And the headband song was awesome. Terrible, but awesome. And unexpected.

Oh hey, we're all hungover. Let's sing about it. I don't know how I feel about this episode. It's a little much for high school.

5. I feel so bad for Kurt. All the time. Not because he's gay but because unrequited love is such a bitch and I am all too familiar. And his party dancing was painful.

6. I don't think Mr. Shue should have given up drinking just because his high school kids are idiots. He is an adult and if he wants to drink, then he is allowed to do that. Drunk dialing is another story, but why did he have Sue's number in his phone in the first place. Why is she allowed to make announcements over the intercom? I appreciate the throw back to Grease, but it's all a little too much.

7. I think I have issues because I didn't drink in high school and was perfectly fine and don't think it should be portrayed as something as acceptable or normal for high school kids to do. I drink as a responsible adult and I think it's fine and don't think adults shouldn't drink just so they set a good example for students. Do as I say, not as I do. How's THAT for a double standard?

What time is it supposed to be? I didn't drink any coffee in high school either. I was obviously a total loser.

And now, drunk adults. I'm sure they are going to make this somehow seem like responsible adults should not drink, even they're legal and that is what they feel like doing.

Drunk grading papers, hahaha. I'm sure this is pretty true to life. And now drunk dialing. Never ever a good idea. Never ever EVER.

Ke$ha is awesome and Tik Tok is a great song and I don't care what anyone says.

Confused about how this is allowed to happen at ANY school assembly, much less an alcohol awareness assembly.

She's gonna vom. They are all gonna vom. That'll teach everyone!

How are they so uncool if everyone loves them and is cheering for them.

I have so much hate for Sue. YES, I know she's not real either but I might have to stop watching this show.

WHAT? He's going to stop drinking because a bunch of idiot high school kids threw up at an assembly? FUCKING LAME.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Do not kiss that boy.

Shit.

Oh, well it turned out ok I guess.

Oooh, my god, this post sucks. I"m sorry, I'm just going to end it now.

Dream big people!

Porches are the best

It's true. You really haven't lived until you've sat on a porch on a beautiful Charleston day. And for an even bigger treat, take a nap there. Heaven.

This is me, sitting on the back porch, enjoying the beautiful weather, not wanting to go back to LA.

I seriously could not have asked for a more perfect weekend. It was the absolute best. I got to spend time with amazing friends and family I hadn't seen in a long time, ate fantastic food, got cute new clothes, saw my favorite Michael Jackson cover band and enjoyed the beautiful weather. This weekend made me question why I left in the first place. I may just be in a vacation fog, so check back with me in a week or so..but for real. I dare anyone to come to Charleston and not fall completely in love with it. That song that goes, "nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina..." is 100% true. There are a lot of really great things about LA but I guess it's called home sweet home for a reason. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz.

I think I'm feeling a little sentimental for a lot of reasons, so I'll stop with the emotional stuff. For anyone that would like a more extensive recap of the weekend, continue on.

I had a completely ridiculous flight plan getting here...LA to Portland, Portland to Atlanta, Atlanta to Charleston. Extensive, I know, but it wasn't terrible. I think I prefer an all day flight to an overnight flight. I pretty much lose a day either way, and I never sleep on a night flight so it wasn't bad. Plus, I've done the red eye twice and was too tired to function when I landed. Plus, I had Chick-Fil-A waiting on me when I landed, so it was well worth it.

Thursday was a beautiful day and my mom and I did some extensive shopping and ate a Charleston Chicken Roller, which is my favorite kind of roller. I finally got some much needed new jeans, cute shoes, dresses, all kinds of goodies. And a pedicure! Haven't had one of those in forever. Dinner was on my favorite island, Sullivan's Island, for a lovely meal with a friend and my dad and step mom. Enjoyed a nice hamburger, caught up with the fam, strolled on the beach, it was awesome.

Friday was more shopping, another yummy lunch (divine chicken salad at the ham store), ran into old friends , enjoyed the sun at the new Waterfront Park, saw my friend at Curves and shopped a little bit more. Friday dinner was seafood!!! Obviously, I got crab legs and she-crab soup and sampled a little bit of whatever everyone else was eating. More friends, more family, so perfect. We also went to see a friend's band play and hung out with even more friends! The band played my jam and then we headed downtown for some drunken fun. I felt a little old at some of the bars in downtown, just because it was a lot of CofC students, but we went back to a friend's house and had fun there. I tried to play asshole but it's pretty much the most confusing drinking game I've ever attempted. My "guess the number I'm thinking of" game is a lot easier to explain and understand, but whatever.

Saturday morning was kind of a struggle, but I powered through and that afternoon an aunt and uncle I hadn't seen in waaay too long came with their beautiful daughter, who I met for the first time! We enjoyed MORE fabulous weather (seriously, it was beyond perfect) on Shem Creek with MORE fabulous seafood (crab cakes, she-crab soup, crap dip, crab stuffed mushrooms, coconut shrimp. No lie, that is what I ordered. My mom and I just split a bunch of appetizers), and it was back to downtown for WHO'S BAD. Yes, that really happened. Thanks to my printed boarding pass with "Things to do in Charleston" list at the bottom, I found out. Then I lost my shit on the plane and then I told everyone I knew they had to go. It was a good crowd and they were awesome, as always. People were not as weird/emotional as the Hollywood show and I wasn't as weirded out. More friends, more cute boys, one SUPER cute boy, more drinking, more fun all around.

Sunday, again a struggle, but I pulled it together and enjoyed the MORE awesome weather downtown. Seriously, the weather was so fantastic, I'm going to stop talking about it because I know you're just so jealous if you're reading this. But for real. So great. Anyway, more shopping, Grouchos (HELL YES), strolling, sweet tea and then home for a lovely family dinner.

Then it was Monday, the day I had been dreading. Time to leave. Sadness to the max. At least there was....you guessed, really awesome weather. And Chick-Fil-A! A fantastic end to the best weekend of all time. And to top it all off, everything went fine with my flights. Can you believe it? No delays, no missed connections, no lost baggage, no crying babies, no crying jacky, no security hang-ups, it was a flying miracle.

And then, the worst day of all, Tuesday came and I had to go back to work. Biggest frowny face ever. No more talking. Let's just re-live the memories of the great weekend. Go ahead, re-read this post. I'll wait.

Ok, dream big people!

I'm on a plane

I'm writing this post on a plane. And that is fucking awesome.

But, my battery is about to die so I'm out for now. Just wanted to share.

Dream big people!

********************************

Update: I'm no longer on the plane. But the whole time I was on the plane, I was singing (in my head) I'm on planeeee to the tune of "I'm on a boat." (In my head) it was beautiful. Speaking of music, I recently downloaded these songs and am obsessed:

Mumford and Sons-The Cave
Greyson Chance-Waiting Outside the Lines
Abba-Lay All Your Love on Me
Pitbull-Hey Baby (Drop it to the Floor)
Gipsy Kings-The Spanish version of You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story 3

Also, I am now in Charleston and it's off to a great start. I had Chick-Fil-A waiting for me when I got off the plane, the weather is supposed to be amazing the rest of the week and I just found out WHO'S BAD is playing at the Music Farm on Saturday night! Seriously, it's meant to be. I have officially followed this band around the country. I hope they don't notice.

SOOO excited about seeing all my great friends this week! Off to bed, need my rest for the kick ass week I'm about to have.

Dream big people, double time today!

Won't let anyone *whfff* it out

Back! By popular (re: one person) demand, GLLEEEE LLIIVVVEEEE BLOOOGGGINNNGGG.

Let's get it started in here.

Oh wait. Still on commercials. So let me take this time to say THANK YOU to the awesome people in my life. I don't know how people feel about being on the world wide web, but if you bought me cupcakes, sent me my favorite candy, wrote an amazing letter to Ellen for me, sent me a Valentine or are reading this blog, I LOVE YOU. I know I can be grouchy, but I am a very lucky girl. I have fantastic friends and have felt very loved this lovely Valentine's week.

It's time!

I like the re-caps.

Oh my goodness! Actual class! It does exist.

Um, why would Emma grab Will for this? Highly unlikely. And why would they even care? They wouldn't.

The Sue story last episode was a little ridiculous. Here it continues. I like her track suit mannequin.

Color Me Mine...I wanna go on a date like that! "I don't think I have anything else to do." Bitch! Sam, I most definitely don't have anything else to do, so let's get to painting! (This kid is my age in real life, right?)

The Heimlich would get out a gumball, not sucking it out. That story is wack.

hahahaha, the JUSTIN BIEBER EXPERIENCE!

Oh, honey, no. You are nowhere near as good. But good try with the hair. And the purple.

Brittany. What is wrong with your parents?

Seriously. Sue is getting way unbelievable. Can Figgins still not fire her because of blackmail thing? She needs to be stopped. Ok, and now Will is unbelievable. And now the counselor woman is. Emma, is it? What is going on with those gloves? They are soooo last CENTURY.

What did Santana say?

Are teachers even allowed to join student clubs? Couldn't she just watch and enjoy the music?

A theme!?! I love themes! Oh. This theme sucks. I was thinking more along the lines of 'Under the Sea.'

QUINN SUCKS! I would LOVE it if my high school boyfriend started a one man Biebs band.
(When I was in high school...not now. That's creepy. OH WAIT-I didn't have a high school boyfriend. SHUT UP QUINN)

Hmmm....I definitely like the dance version better.

Oh snap, here we go. "Girl, quit playing." Best line in music ever. The dancing is sub par. But it's a good try.

SOMEONE DO THE LUDACRIS PARTTT!!!!!!

Sadness. No one did.

[Um, that commercial with the kiss and the car and the facebook update is sooo lame. First, the guy is not cute. Second, that whole idea is super weird and surely distracting. Third, I'm pretty sure no guy would think an instantaneous fb update was cute. It wasn't even a good kiss! Ok, done. Sorry]

The power of THE BIEBS.

What? Asian girl? Angry birds over abs? These girls ARE LAME. They don't know what they're missing. Man, being single makes me bitter sometimes.

FINN, OH NO YOU DIDN'T. Sorry, Finn, you fail.

hahah, Rachel. You are so sad. Kids R Us.

DUH, Sue is out to sabotage. How did those two goobers not catch on? Nobody's smart but me!

Name-dropping Wilson Philips, nice.

Does Mercedes have weave?

Oh, big surprise, Sue is turning everyone against each other. WHY IS ANYONE BELIEVING HER? PEOPLE, SUE is the one telling you this stuff. Fools!

[I really don't like the Kraft girl. Shut up whiny pants, there are starving kids in Africa! Also, that child does not know good mac and cheese until she has been in GDH on a Sunday morning. Shut it pigtails.]

Truth. I cannot express the love I have for Artie. It never ends. So happy he can walk in real life.

I wish they would do One Time. It's the original and the best. I do like this chalk dust dance though. Or cocaine. I don't know what this white powder is supposed to be.

I'm guessing this was more powerful in person. Because it's not turning me on like it is for the ladies. Something tells me I'm not on the same page as them for a lot of stuff though.

BURN, Finn!

Where did Pucks hair come from? Are we not ever going to find out? Mean.

Santana to the rescue! Sorry, but I'm over Quinn. She sucks even if she is super pretty.

[OMG-'No Strings Attached' is STILL running ads. Get out of my life NSA!]

The horrible Quinn boots are back!

Um, sorry, but big girl would not be wrestling those lightweights. It's not allowed. I know my wrestling.

I'm not really sure I am buying Puck's infatuation with Lauren. For many reasons. Whatev.

Finn better not win back blond loser by straight up copying Sam.

REEENNNNTTTT!!! YAYYYYY!!!!

They do know this song is about being in a lesbian relationship, right? I'm not sure they do. Doesn't really fit with the "diva-off" theme...but it's still an awesome song and they are doing a good job.

Can you clap to this song?

Is Quinn wearing a push down sock on her hand?

Aw, yay, they made up. Surely they'll be onto Sue now.

Nope. All these people are stupid as shit.

[Jeez, I just ate a whooollleee bunch of sugar and it's kind of making my head hurt. Valentine's candy is awesome, but I need to spread it out a little. I need some vegetables]

[Beastly? Weirdness. Metro PCS commercials, also weird.]

Let's sing with some kids! Most cliche thing ever. How come he doesn't make the club do this?

Oh, and he brought a tiny guitar. Of course.

Aw, cute kids. They were just on a commercial too! Apparently they are on the 11:00 news.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE?!?!? SHUT UP!

God, I LOOOVEEEE THIS SONG. Seriously, in my top three favorite camp songs of all time. SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. No one does it better than Raffi (umm, I have it on my iPod, that is how much I love it), but this is a pretty sweet cover.

Aw, look at them bonding. All lies.

Everyone hates Rachel. It's sad. She's lame, but it's kind of pathetic. Girls are HARSH! Jeez. Was I this mean or lame in high school?

Ohhhh no, what is this dress? Lauren. LAUREN. Eesh.

Why wasn't Artie naked? I'm outraged!

I'm not sure how I feel about this song.

Hahahahaha, he shot Martin Luther King. No, he did not.

Aw, he's a dork. It's cute. I wish people knew how cute they were and weren't so concerned about being popular all the time.

Also, where is Curt? Kurt? I forget. But I need to see him and his ridiculousness.

The house of sad. Oh man, she's a new woman! What a surprise.

Ummmmmm.

God, this show is so ridiculous. Why am I watching it? Oh yeah, THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE!

Ok, it's getting better. Am I supposed to know this song? It's a good anthem though. Better than the last one for sure.

YES! Quinn is getting dumped. I'm mean. But I'm glad. That is what you get for being a buttface. THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID BUTTFACE.

Oh, My Chemical Romance. I feel so uncool right now. Downloading it immediately.

Isn't the whole concept of Glee club covering other songs? As in, real Glee club, not this show. I could be wrong. I think bands are for original music.

Shuester, you are so dumb. Can't believe you fell for her comeback facade.

Rachel can write music now? Finn, you're a tease and it's mean. Rachel, you're desperate and it's sad. It's me, with talent. Jeeez.

Yay, next week, Glee with BOOZE! I seriously think that is the best idea Glee has EVER had. Can't wait! See you guys next week!

LEAVING FOR CHARLESTON TOMORROW!!!! YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAYYYYY!

DREAM BIG PEOPLE!

I just wrote this post to say...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I do not hate Valentine's Day. I think it's an excellent day to tell people you love them. I have lots of people I love, including you, my beautiful blog readers. Yes, I'm single and lonely (sometimes) but Valentine's Day is so contrived and ridiculous, it's pointless being mad at it. It's almost cliche and cliche is not my style. Plus, it has the best candy! I'm still pretty bitter about the change in conversation hearts, but I'll always remember the time I found one that said "let's read" and it was awesome. Also, I love too many people and too many things to be angry on a day specifically for love. And, I bought myself a Valentine's necklace and I'm pretty pleased with it. I am perfectly ok with being my own Valentine. Getting a rose from a student at school helped too.

So, love to you all! Hope you know that I love you. Thanks to the awesome people that sent me cards!

If it's meant to be, we'll meet again

Y'all. Mine and Ellen's relationship is going to be JUST like Justin Bieber's and Usher's. It is going to be magical and awesome. Just like theirs, we met once, nothing came of it but we WILL meet again and good things will happen. Then, in just a few short years, there will be a documentary about my life which will also be awesome. And millions of teenage girls will flock to the theater to see it. It won't be in 3D, but it will be bad ass. Haven't decided on a name yet. I'm not ruling out Usher being involved.

Anyway. So I'm watching the Grammy's. And here is what is blowing my mind:

Lady Gaga is a year younger than me. And Justin Bieber is 8 (EIGHT) years younger than me.

I mean, damn. Way to make me feel like a loser.

Actually, that's kind of a lie. It doesn't really make me feel like a loser, it's actually just very strange to me. Mainly because Lady Gaga is so freaking weird. Don't get me wrong, she is really talented. But, wtf is going on with her? I just think it's so bizarre that she and I are pretty much the same age but are not really living in the same...um, universe? I just was thinking, does she have friends? By friends, I mean, people like me that she talks to and asks their opinion on things. I mean, can you imagine if you had this kind of weird friend and then she ended up being Lady Gaga? And what if you actually kept in touch with you? Like, what would you do if you got a text that was like, hey...I'm thinking of wearing a meat dress this weekend. What do you think? Too much? (she probably appreciates proper English in texts, like I do..no u crap). Then you get a picture text and you're like, ummmm. I don't know about this. And then, later, you see her on the red carpet and you're all, seriously??? I TOLD her the meat dress was ridiculous! And you and your other friends (they were in on it as well) are like, she never listens! The wax dress was waaay more flattering. And then she texts you again and is like, Grammys: Egg. Thoughts? And you're all, whattteevvverrr LG, why do you even ask me anymore?

And then there's the Biebs, who y'all know I love but he is 16! And performing at the Grammys! That's nuts! I was most definitely not doing anything as cool at 16. In fact, I will probably go my entire life without ever performing at the Grammys. Sad, but true. Not unless lip syncing cover bands become acceptable one day. If that ever happens, this girl has got a career.

In general, I think most musicians are a little on the weird side. I just don't really get it. You can sing and you have talent, you don't really need to be a total weirdo on top of that. I guess having musical genius either entitles or encourages you to be a basket case in terms of how you dress and present yourself. Not that I would know. I have no talent. I have a real person job and if I were to show up at that job with a monocle, in an egg, wearing a cape or had cupcakes for boobs, I would probably get fired. Obviously, weird musicians are not in the same position as me. I just think famous people are SO far removed from the real world that they think it's ok and acceptable to be totally ridiculous.

In general, I tend to have more respect for people that get by on their talent and don't need an outfit or pyrotechnics to shock and awe. But, I guess you have to do something to get by in this crazy world we live in. For instance, Adele. She has an awesome voice and rocks in basic black. No fuss, no nonsense and she is amazing. I am super stoked about her new album coming out, anyone else?

Oh man, I have laughed so many times watching these Grammys. I'm going to stop now before I get to sucked in and start commenting on everything. Because there is just too much to comment on. But I will say this. An award that has Katy Perry and Mumford and Sons in the same category makes me question the validity of these awards. Seriously people.

[Sorry you didn't win, Biebster. Chin up. You're still super cute.]

Dream big people!

Turn that frown upside down!

Ok.

Better now. I am super sad I didn't get downtown to win tickets to the Grammys. But, tomorrow is Friday, I bought some fantastic Valentine's Day decorations, I'm watching Ellen and I am going home in FIVE DAYS!!!!

Just wanted to update everyone.

Dream big people!

:(

WAAAHHHHH.

People, I'm dying right now! Ellen is giving away tickets to the Grammys in downtown LA and it's SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR!

First off, I am at work and can't leave until 4. Even then, I need a costume because you have go dressed as your favorite musical icon. HELLO PINK JUMPSUIT would be the BEST Belinda Carlisle! UGGHH.

But Santa Monica and West LA are SOOO FAR from downtown! Apparently you had to be there at 2:30 but even if I left now, it would take at least an hour to get there by bus.

WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm making a huge frowny face and am not happy about this one little bit. Everyone I know works and/or would not be willing to drive me downtown. WHYYY ELLENNNN?? WHY downtown? Why not somewhere close like the Promenade?! Sadness to the max! And to win tickets to the Grammys! Goodness, that would be awesome.

OH MAN, this is just too depressing. I have to stop thinking about it.

dream big people.

Girl, quit playing

And I was like, babbyy baby babyyy.

That Justin Bieber song has been stuck in my head for like, TWO WEEKS. I'm not ashamed to say I am a fan. When One Time came out I was all about rocking out to that song really loudly in my car. My brother can attest to that. And I totally remember him singing it on Ellen. I wasn't a HUGE fan, but I think Ellen gave me Bieber Fever today. Don't worry, only a mild case. Anything too severe would probably be illegal.

But, he's a cutie! And he seems really sweet! I love his little movie preview where he's like, my name is Justin! This is how I drum! I wonder if that is really him. Probably..it's a documentary right? I probably won't go see the movie. But ONLY because I highly doubt I would be able to find someone to go with me. It was a struggle to wrangle someone in for Harry Potter, I'm thinking the Biebs may be lost on my 3 LA friends. Also, I'm cheap. 3D movies are expensive.

Anyway, on the show today, Ellen helped this super cute girl meet Justin Bieber, and it was sweet. He was sweet, he was wearing Y&R (yay Drama and Rob!) and it was just a lovely little moment. Then I had this brilliant plan. Ellen helped JB's biggest fan meet him, so I think JB should help Ellen's biggest fan (me) meet her! Smart, right?

So. Who knows how to get in touch with Mr. Bieber? Can't be that hard, right?

Right.

Well, I'm still going to try. I looked at his website and you have to pay to gain insider information on the Biebs. I won't be doing that, but if you know anyone that is a true Biebler, let me know. I have something I'd like to talk to him about.

So that was my Wednesday night! I'm awesome.

Dream big people!

I love real crab

Glee blogging time! You're welcome!

OHHHH SHIT. Is Puck crushing on Lauren? Too bad it has be about her weight. Still funny.

Sad sack, hahaha. But, um, why is the fat girl always eating?

Conversation hearts, YES! Where are the yellow ones??? Nooo, not Quinn again. The blonde girl always wins.

Puppy love, DUH Kurt.

I'm lonely and sad, but I still love Valentine's Day. Agreed Kurt's friend. Shoot, forgot his name. Oooh no, Kurt thinks he loves him!! Oooh, this is bad. The friend doesn't like him. I have seen how this works. Kurt, honey, he is not going to be singing to you. Oh, this makes my heart hurt a little.

Ok, this assignment is a little much. Mr. Shue

Addicted to vests. Tis true.

Santana, I feel you. Kind of. You are super mean but people do suck. So, tough call.

Oooh, Blane.

Ooohhh Kurt. It's not you.

Not performing in public seems slightly dramatic. But they are in pretty dramatic jackets, so it works.

Where was this cat throwing taking place?

Told you Kurt. :(

Aw, look at Rachel and Mercedes being besties in onesies.

I know, Kurt. Story of my life.

Rachel, bad plan.

Being single is AWESOME. Trust me (F it Feb!). I'm devoted to my talent, just like Mercedes said. That was my plan all along.

UM, NO. Fat bottom girls? As a fatty, I'm insulted. Doesn't matter how much you "embrace" yourself, no one likes being referred to as a fat bottom girl in public. She is lying if she says otherwise. Also, does this happen in real life? Do super hot guys go after fat girls? Where are these boys? I would like to be introduced to him.

Good. Finally got something right.

Finn, you are a little big for your britches.

Quinn is mean!

Noo Rachel. Please stop.

What? He changed his mind? Just like that? Oh, no. A star necklace is not a good consolation prize.

We're dope. Word. ARTIE IS MY FAVORITE!!! PYTTTTTTT!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Holy shit, this is awesome. Dance break! Be right back.

BACK! Yes.

Brittany has been doing a lot of fist pumping this episode.

A punch needs to be thrown! Enough with this shoving.

No. Boo.

Blane? This is not a good idea. Not at work. He is not even cute. Like, not at all. And he's not even paying attention! This is painful to watch. This is why I don't make the first move. Well, this is why I tell myself not to make the first move. Please stop. He is trying to escape. Just make it look like it is a big publicity stunt for the Warblers. Yes. It was too much.

Your boss is lame. You are lame. Your hair is lame. Sadness.

Santana, I know. I feel you. Not the being hot part. Ok, now I lost you.

What? You're not allowed to wear that in high school.

I wish they would make the fat girl less about food.

Oh Quinn, you're so righteous. Oh wait, no you're not. I hate you. I hate Finn too.

[Food commercials, GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I need to lose weight, not eat a bucket of fried chicken.]

Kurt, no no no no no. I am looking away from the TV right now. I might have to mute it. THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE. ITTT HUURRTTTSS.

Well, it ended a little better for him. There is hope for me.

Funny Valentine. So awkward. Jeez, looking away again. Why is she crying? She's still in love with Artie! SOMEONE STOP HER. MR. SHUE, STEP IN. JESUS.

What's going on with Quinn's wardrobe? Those boots are hideous. Oh look, here she is again with another super hot guy that probably prefers blondes. Sorry, Diana whoever, I'm sure you're actually a lovely person.

THAT IS WHAT YOU GET, QUINN. You and those boots need to get to steppin.

Guys don't really like girls that are badasses. If they do, I have yet to find one. Damn, I am way more bitter than I thought.

Raaaccchheeelll, you are so pathetic. I cringe because it's meeeee. Only without the talent and twice thighs.

What is Brittany wearing?

Sparklers in the hallway? YES!

If only I could sing. Then I wouldn't feel so lonely!

This song has kind of silly lyrics.

Lonely hearts club dinner. Where can I find one of these?

Sometimes it doesn't come at all?!?!? NOOOO. I don't want to hear that.

Well friends, it's been fun. Sorry you were subjected to my sad loneliness. I still love Valentine's Day but it's getting to be kind of a struggle. I just don't want to have to buy conversation hearts for myself.

Sigh.

Dream big people!

Fantabulous February!

Fantabulous February is Ellen's thing. My thing is: FUCK IT FEBRUARY! It's not suitable for day time TV, but guess what friends, I am not on day time TV (for now), so I'll do it all day! So here's what's going on during F it February: I am stepping up my Ellen game. I really want her to give me a job. She doesn't even have to put me on the show or tell anyone. Also, I'm trying reallllly hard not to whine about work. I am also doing all sorts of stupid shit when it comes to guys but I'm all, fuuuckkkk it! Looking like a moron is nothing new in my book, so I might as well just do what I want and stop caring about how boy retarded I am. Being cautious wasn't working, so I'll just go in the complete opposite direction. There's other stuff, but I don't remember it all right now. Even my brain is like, awww fuck it! Good job brain! There's going to be a lot of drinking going on in F.I.F. Pretty excited about it. (Don't worry, I'm drinking responsibly. As always.)

Um, people. GLEE is back. And it is out. of. control. I was going to live blog it but then I forgot and now I don't know if I can stand to watch it again. I'll just kind of half-ass it from where I am. It's awesome, but like, whhhhaaattt the hell is going on?! SOOO dramatic! Ohh wait-GAME CHANGER. Bills, Bills, Bills? You trifling....Holy crap, there needs to be way more fabulous 90s music. Such a great message to send to high schoolers. Ladies, is your hs sweetie not paying your bills for you?! Dump his sorry ass! Find a real man that can! Also, high school football is apparently the most dramatic thing EVERRRRR. Oh, sometimes I miss high school. Lastly, Sue Slyvester is insane. Seriously, she is getting to be beyond unbelievable. Can no one reel her in? Mama cannon has fibromyalgia? Lawd.

Ohhh man, I am loving all this inspirational talk. Does this really work? Probably. I mean, I get pumped just listening to good music, if I got an inspirational speech, god only knows what I'd be capable of. Yeah, look at that bully kid! He just got inspired and now he's out there dancing for his life! You still suck, bully kid, but good job. Annnd, fuck you DVR for not recording the last part. DVR, YOU are not part of Fuck It February. It's my thing. Back off!

Bah, ok, now I have to go watch the end online. It's 2011! How is my DVR not smart enough to record the entire show? Nonsense!

Dream big people! Dream of a world where DVRs have a brain and don't ruin your life by cutting the show short.

Can't Do It

I'm sorry. I have to say it.

I cannot get on board with all this reality TV. I try, I really do but they are SO ridiculous. I usually like ridiculous, but I just can't handle them. These housewives people are out of control. Mainly, their faces. And their hair. Like, what is going on?!!

I really try because Ellen is all about it, and y'all know I think Ellen knows best. But, they just go SO far out of what I can even begin to comprehend as any type of normal lifestyle that I just can't relate. I am just baffled. Completely baffled. My roommate was watching the reunion yesterday and I kept laughing at inappropriate moments. Like, the women would be crying and they just look so ridiculous! Not because of what they're upset about, but because of how they look when they cry. It's so bizarre! And kind of scary. I don't want to keep hating, because honestly, I don't watch the show so I really have no idea what has been going on.

Here is my real problem, I think: Ok. These women have SO much money and literally, like, everything at their disposal. Side note: People with a lot money just kind of blow my mind in general because I don't have a lot and the way people choose to spend their loads of money is perplexing and maddening sometimes. Anyway. So yeah, these ladies are living the life and yet, they are just SURROUNDED by soooo much drama! What gives!? OH MAN! If I was a Bev Hills housewife, these are the things I would do: lounge by my pool, volunteer in third world countries, travel wherever the hell I wanted, foster a hundred million puppies, dance all the time and be drunk a lot. Hot damn, it would be so awesome. I would fly my friends out to hang with me by my pool and get them drunk as well. I would go out to eat all the time and leave really big tips for everyone. I would never ever fight with anyone and if I did, I would certainly not put it on TV for everyone and their mom to see.

I am not completely against all reality TV. I don't watch much of it, but it's mainly because watching people argue makes me extremely uncomfortable. I don't like it! Not one little bit. Confrontation makes me horribly uncomfortable. In fact, I'm watching Modern Family right now and there's a little tiff going on and I had to mute it. Now there's another tiff involving cologne and I think I'm going to have to change the channel if this doesn't end soon.

Also, the other shows, like Top Chef and stuff like that is just soooo dramatic with the music and the judging and the eliminating and the loooooonnnngggg pauses. Can't handle it. Can't do it. Sorry Bravo, but until you bring back Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, I will not be watching you. And OH my goodness, don't even get me started on MTV and it's craziness. I have A LOT of thoughts on those Teen Mom people. They just make me sad. I just like watching TV that makes me laugh and that's pretty much it. Yay Comedy Central! And NBC Thursdays...and Saturday night. AND ELLEN!! HOORAY!!!!

So those my thoughts on that. Thanks for listening, have a lovely day.

Dream big people!

I would probably watch if the housewives were more like this though:



Or this (PS-When I first saw this, I had NO clue what was going on. I thought it was hilarious but I was totally confused):

I Can Do Internet All By Myself

Saturday Night Live: I LOVE YOU. I don't care what anyone else says. "From a ho who didn't know her place." HAHAHAHAHA. Good job, Jesse Eisenberg!

Ok friends. Sorry about that last, slightly depressing, post. It really was the country music. Got me all pensive and shit. Just had to get it all out. But now I'm watching Ellen and it's allllll good. I'm still totally jealous of the people that get to interact with her, but as always, she is cracking me up. Also, I decide whether or not I like celebrities based on how the act on her show. Today, Julianna Margulies and Kevin Nealon won me over big time. Ryan Gosling still holds the number one spot and anyone that dances when they come it gets lots of extra points. I mean, I don't have a score card or anything but if they are super delightful on Ellen, then I will consider watching/listening to/buying/going to see/supporting whatever they are hawking.

Well, since I've pretty much already started down this path, today's post is going to be even more examples of how crazy I am. Just trying to humanize myself to my adoring public. I know I'm like a celebrity-like figure to you people, so consider this post kind of STARS! THEY'RE JUST LIKE US! kind of thing. She blogs! She eats entire pints of ice cream in one sitting! She showers! She wears clothes! She thinks crazy thoughts! I'm a TV "star," but I'm still human guys!!


Anyway. How am I crazy? Let me count the ways. First off, I have an addiction to q-tips. It's been discussed before but I just hate feeling like there is gunk in my ears. Even when there's not. It's getting better, but it's a daily struggle.

Yesterday, I bought the wrong kind of ice cream and I got really upset. Like, I was seething on my couch. Apparently there are two kinds of Ben and Jerry's with Heath Bar in it...one is boring vanilla and the other is amazing delicious coffee flavor and I wasn't paying attention and got the boring one. Damn! I ate it anyway, but I was not happy about it. Can you return ice cream? Too late now, but let this be a lesson: read your ice cream label carefully! Things can go wrong too quickly.

I also have issues with time and how to use it most efficiently. Which is actually kind of strange since there is no reason for this, as I have very little to do and tons of time to do it. I just want to be super efficient all the time. I get really stressed when I have 3 or more "tasks" to perform and I have to decide the way in which I'm going to do them. Two examples: I have to go to the post office, buy lunch, go to the bus store and take out the trash at work. If I get lunch first, I have to carry it around with me, which I don't want to do but if I do it last, it means I have to back track from the post office. But if I go to the post office first, I have to walk down the Promenade (boooo, avoid at all costs) and do more back tracking for lunch. I HATE back tracking. Seriously, I can't stand it. What is wrong with me??? It literally means walking a total of maybe 10 minutes out of my way. It's probably more like 3 minutes, actually. It doesn't make any SENSE because I have the time to do all of it and still have time left over! And an even stupider example: I'm at home, watching Ellen and it's a commercial and I need to: refill my glass of water, go to the bathroom, put on socks, respond to an email and throw something away. I get all worried because I only have a certain amount of time before the commercials are over and do I put on my socks first and then get water and then bathroom? I DON'T KNOW! I really have to pee, but my feet are cold. But I want to write the email before I forget! And I don't want to miss the show! Like, what? It's DVR'd idiot, so just pause it! The internet isn't going anywhere while you're gone! All of this wisdom in hindsight, of course. Furthermore, I have, seriously, nothing that HAS to be done when I get home, so I have all the time in the world to get these "tasks" done and could watch Ellen 10 times over if I wanted. Lord.


I have recently discovered I can pluck out blackheads with tweezers. Of course, now I'm obsessed and I'm sure my nose hates me since I am constantly poking at it. And I get mad because I can't make them all go away! Get out of here blackheads! Also, my face has been super greasy lately and it's getting annoying.

I reallllllyyy want to host SNL, mainly because all the hugging at the end looks like a lot of fun. I miss hugs. I don't get very many these days. Also, I want to be famous. Kind of.

In my head, I talk in a British accent. Sometimes in a Bridget Jones voice and sometimes in a Ricky Gervais voice. Either way, everything sounds cooler.

I truly believe that if I were able to wink, my dating life would improve 100%.

Whenever I hear a song, I picture how I would dance to it. This is frustrating because I'm usually on the bus or walking down the street and can't actually start dancing. Also, I can't dance in real life how I can dance in my head. It's very sad.

So that's enough for now. Just wanted to relate for the commoners for a bit. You know how I do.

Dream big people!

Goodbye to You

Such a pity to say, goodbye to yoo-uuu. Thank you Scandal, for summing up perfectly my thoughts on people that suck. The song is really more about an ex lover, but I've found it fits for a lot of situations.

Someone once told me that being a "cut them loose and don't look back" (there's a better idiom for it, but I can't remember what it is) kind of person is a Leo thing. And I was all, YEAH! I'm totally a Leo! But now, maybe I'm not? I don't know, it's all very confusing.

Anywho. Today I was thinking about how upset I get when people let me down. And how it's my tendency to give them a whole bunch of chances and once they fail me enough times (there's no magic number), I just cut them out completely. It goes in stages, because I kind of keep wanting to give them chances. I start off with one last attempt, and send out a final call. And then, if that goes unanswered, I stop calling/messaging/carrier pigeoning/emailing, whatever other means of communication I've tried to to contact them by. Then I hide them on my news feed because I don't care what is going on in their lives. I also stop pursuing conversation about that person in real people world (ie-not facebook). Like when I talk to mutual friends and they're like, oh I talked to so and so the other day, I'm like, ok. You know, instead of saying, oh yeah? How are they doing? I haven't heard from them in a while. Those sort of niceties would be in stage one. Stage three is harsh and less socially appropriate. I do, however, try to refrain from shit talking (key word: try) because usually the mutual friend is not on the same page. In fact, no one is ever on the same page as me because I am a crazy person. You may think you are, but trust me, you aren't. Because I keep my horrible thoughts to myself. Anyone that has ever listened to me complain (everyone I've ever talked to) probably thinks otherwise, but I keep a lot in. It's for the best.

So moving on. After ignoring them and being disinterested in their current happenings, I delete them out of my phone. Then, for the big finale, I get drunk and defriend (unfriend?) them on facebook. A person is truly disliked in my world if they are defriended on facebook. I know, has a lamer sentence ever been written? But what the fuck ever, it's 2011, a movie about facebook is WINNING AWARDS (I'm still baffled on the fact that it was even made) and I'm a passive aggressive bitch. And watch out, because if my distaste for someone goes past just mild disappointment and has moved into full blown dislike (hate is such a strong word), I will de-tag and/or delete all photographic evidence of them. I will, literally, cut someone out of my life. I pretend they don't exist so they can't hurt my feelings anymore. And they'll probably never notice because they didn't care in the first place.

So there you go. Chances are, if you're reading this, you are not one of those people, so don't worry. And obviously, there are varying degrees on what it takes for me to start down this path of dislike with someone. It takes a lot of times of being ignored, actually and like, never EVER hearing from someone. I don't want to make people feel bad, but I also don't like being the only person that is putting effort into a relationship..of any sort, romantical or otherwise. Actually, the biggest thing is that I really don't like feeling stupid or like I'm being annoying. When people don't respond to me, I get all self-conscious and get to thinking they don't really like me and I'm bothering them or there has to be some reason why they won't answer me. Once or twice, whatever, but once it becomes the norm, I have to cut them loose. The sad part is knowing they gave up on me. Because if any of the said people ever tried to re-establish contact, I would answer in a second. They wouldn't even have to apologize, they would just have to say hello.

Wow. Sorry I got all melodramatic. It was just on my mind today. Also, I watched a wedding on TV and listened to country music, which always makes me a little too thoughtful for my own good. Also, I wanted to let it out. Writing is another passive aggressive way to get over being angry with people. I'm frustrated because I can't make people do what I want. Not in a bossy, make me dinner kind of way, but a CALL ME. PLEASE LIKE ME kind of way. Desperate, I know. Whatever, I've got Julio and we'll be down by the schoolyard.

Dream big people! And don't worry about me, I keep in touch with lots of awesome people and they always make up for the suck people. Most of them are just really far away and not available for hanging out. And hugs. Jeez, stopping now. I am getting pathetic. Dream big! Yay!