Not having internet at home SUCKS. A lot. As someone that has a lot to say and no one around to listen to everything I have to say, this is my place to get it all out. And with no internet at home to let it all out, I'm keeping it all in and this is no good.
Annnnd, oh my goodness. I was just looking through some of the evaluations from the students and for some bad/hilarious news:
What did you dislike about CSL: "JACKY"
Literally, that is what was written.
For some good news:
Activities comments: "Activities with Jacky were absolute gorgeous. :)"
So, hooray for nice, gorgeous people.
Anyway, I have to go. Life is so strange these days. And for even more good news: DISNEYLAND tomorrow! 6 Flags on Thursday! Football on Saturday! Looking forward to this week.
Dream big people!
27 September 2011
24 September 2011
SoCal Hospitality
Or lack thereof, rather.
Now, I have met very nice people in LA. I've also met very rude people in SC. However, over the last few days it seems to me that LA wins on rude, ridiculous people that choose to be assholes to you and or just display a total lack of character in public. I don't think this is really all LA's fault since it is pretty much the tourist capital of the world and it can't really be held responsible for every asshole that comes through but I've been encountering some really sucky people lately. I don't have stats, I'm just guessing about the tourists but it's pretty common for me to surrounded by a million people, none of which that are speaking English. Because of work, I find myself at the top tourist destinations so this is probably why, but I think it's a little strange sometimes. Currently, I'm at the Citadel Outlet malls, trying to talk myself out of going on a shopping spree. It's proving to be difficult.
ANYWAY. Lots has been happening the past couple of days. Biggest and most dramatic, a car accident on the 405. Anyone that has driven in LA knows the 405 is the worst roadway that ever existed as it was paved by the devil himself. No worries though, it was very minor, no one was hurt, it wasn't my fault and most importantly, everyone in my car (me and six passengers) was ok. The other driver is claiming I rear-ended him which seems strange to me because one, that is totally false and two, the dent on my car (from where he hit me) is on the side and there's no damage to the front of my car. So seems like a stretch for him to be claiming I hit from behind. But, whatever, we just have to wait and see what the police and insurance reports say. Should be a lot of fun.
Then, I went to Universal Studios and someone thought while waiting in line to get tickets was an appropriate place to to clip their nails. Like, WHAT? What the WHAT? So ridiculous. I am pretty opposed to preforming most personal grooming habits in public, including, but not limited to, brushing your hair, picking your teeth, putting on deodorant and above all else, clipping your fucking nails! JEEZ. Mainly because of the horrible noise the clippers make.
Side note: also while at Universal, I saw the movie "I Don't Know How She Does It," and I Don't Know How or Why That Movie Got Made. It was so soo SO bad. It was boring and terrible and sent a terrible message and I am glad I only had to spend $2 to see it.
Last night I dropped something into a mailbox on the sidewalk and was walking back to my car and this creepster behind me was all, "I don't even know you." I looked back at him because I was like, um, is he talking to me? I don't know you either, nor did I say or do anything to you. Then he goes, "why don't you eat shit and die?" Again, WHAT? What the fuck is your deal dude? It took me by surprise and kind of made me laugh, but I thought it was best to keep walking (a little more quickly) and not respond with a "fuck you" like I wanted.
Annnd, last but certainly most fun, our landlord is being a total dick. Yay!!! So super fun the process of leaving my apartment has been. Turns out, we probably won't get any of our security deposit back since the walls are painted, there are holes in the wall and broken screens. Most fun of all, NONE of it is my fault, my decision or my doing. Hooray for other people being assholes and costing me a whole bunch of money. Yay yay yay.
People, I am so tired. I don't know what the problem is. I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in like, two weeks. I'm not unhappy, I'm just tired ALL the time. All I want to do is lay around and watch TV which I can't do because I don't have a TV. Booo, feel sorry for me.
No, just kidding, don't. I'm fine. I just need some sleep I guess. Still trying to figure out my future plans, but just thinking about them makes me tired. It's a vicious cycle.
Dream big people!
Now, I have met very nice people in LA. I've also met very rude people in SC. However, over the last few days it seems to me that LA wins on rude, ridiculous people that choose to be assholes to you and or just display a total lack of character in public. I don't think this is really all LA's fault since it is pretty much the tourist capital of the world and it can't really be held responsible for every asshole that comes through but I've been encountering some really sucky people lately. I don't have stats, I'm just guessing about the tourists but it's pretty common for me to surrounded by a million people, none of which that are speaking English. Because of work, I find myself at the top tourist destinations so this is probably why, but I think it's a little strange sometimes. Currently, I'm at the Citadel Outlet malls, trying to talk myself out of going on a shopping spree. It's proving to be difficult.
ANYWAY. Lots has been happening the past couple of days. Biggest and most dramatic, a car accident on the 405. Anyone that has driven in LA knows the 405 is the worst roadway that ever existed as it was paved by the devil himself. No worries though, it was very minor, no one was hurt, it wasn't my fault and most importantly, everyone in my car (me and six passengers) was ok. The other driver is claiming I rear-ended him which seems strange to me because one, that is totally false and two, the dent on my car (from where he hit me) is on the side and there's no damage to the front of my car. So seems like a stretch for him to be claiming I hit from behind. But, whatever, we just have to wait and see what the police and insurance reports say. Should be a lot of fun.
Then, I went to Universal Studios and someone thought while waiting in line to get tickets was an appropriate place to to clip their nails. Like, WHAT? What the WHAT? So ridiculous. I am pretty opposed to preforming most personal grooming habits in public, including, but not limited to, brushing your hair, picking your teeth, putting on deodorant and above all else, clipping your fucking nails! JEEZ. Mainly because of the horrible noise the clippers make.
Side note: also while at Universal, I saw the movie "I Don't Know How She Does It," and I Don't Know How or Why That Movie Got Made. It was so soo SO bad. It was boring and terrible and sent a terrible message and I am glad I only had to spend $2 to see it.
Last night I dropped something into a mailbox on the sidewalk and was walking back to my car and this creepster behind me was all, "I don't even know you." I looked back at him because I was like, um, is he talking to me? I don't know you either, nor did I say or do anything to you. Then he goes, "why don't you eat shit and die?" Again, WHAT? What the fuck is your deal dude? It took me by surprise and kind of made me laugh, but I thought it was best to keep walking (a little more quickly) and not respond with a "fuck you" like I wanted.
Annnd, last but certainly most fun, our landlord is being a total dick. Yay!!! So super fun the process of leaving my apartment has been. Turns out, we probably won't get any of our security deposit back since the walls are painted, there are holes in the wall and broken screens. Most fun of all, NONE of it is my fault, my decision or my doing. Hooray for other people being assholes and costing me a whole bunch of money. Yay yay yay.
People, I am so tired. I don't know what the problem is. I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in like, two weeks. I'm not unhappy, I'm just tired ALL the time. All I want to do is lay around and watch TV which I can't do because I don't have a TV. Booo, feel sorry for me.
No, just kidding, don't. I'm fine. I just need some sleep I guess. Still trying to figure out my future plans, but just thinking about them makes me tired. It's a vicious cycle.
Dream big people!
16 September 2011
Three Little Birds
Every time I freak out about something, I tend to forget that in (usually) just a few short days, everything will be ok. Yeah. I should try to remember that. I mean, I kind of do, but it's hard to focus on that and stop crying. Also, having sad things happen around the your "monthly" (sorry boys) time is really just unfortunate. I'm a cryer, in general, but around that time, it's amplified and uncontrollable sobbing starts when really just a few tears would suffice. I mean, crying in your room is one thing, but at work, while driving, at the gym, buying groceries, etc, etc i s a little much. Really, your room is the best place for crying. There, you can also make the pathetic wailing noises that make everything more dramatic but somehow also makes things a little better. I think it's just one more step in the release process. I don't know, maybe that's just me.
Anyway, this week, things are MUCH better. It's funny because, really, things have kind of started to come apart even more so than before, but I'm ok with it. I've got a new plan, I've started putting the gears into motion and I'm actually quite excited about the whole thing. It's a whole long story and I don't want to explain it all/say anything until I know a few things for sure, but I'm taking steps in the right direction and it feels good. Also, while some things are falling apart, other things are falling perfectly into place. Life is so weird.
Also, I've had some really good activities lately with really nice students and it has lifted my spirits. Having people write "Jacky is not friendly," is a little bit soul crushing at times, but can be canceled out when someone tells you otherwise. There is one student, though, that I kind of want to punch in the face. This one girl I tried SO hard with because she went on a lot of activities, but she would NEVER talk. She answered all my questions with one word and never seemed happy. Normally I'm like, whatever, when they complain, but this girl in particular really irked me because she went with me on the trip to Disneyland on my birthday. And I'm sorry, but I have never been friendlier or nicer than I was on that day. I was bursting with happiness, friendliness, and overall joy on that day. So, I just don't really understand why or how she could possibly say I was not friendly after the almost excessive amount of enthusiasm I had on that day. She's gone now, but seriously? Fuck you. Also, you have ugly stupid bangs and you, Miss one word answers, are not friendly. So there.
Moving right along, I just finished this hilarious book and I highly recommend it. I laughed out loud at multiple parts and was sad when I got to the last page. It's "A Year of Living Biblically" by AJ Jacobs and it was one of the best books I've read in a long time. The title pretty much explains it, but it's basically this guy trying to live by the Bible's rules for a year. It's so funny and some parts are touching and insightful and I really really enjoyed it. He has another about reading the entire encyclopedia, and I'm going to read that next I think. (Also, thanks Dad and Kellie for the Barnes and Noble giftcard with which I bought it!)
So that's my life now. I'm excited about the next phase, trying to enjoy the end of this one and so thankful that I have really fantastic friends here in LA. Everywhere, really, but some really great ones here. I will definitely be sad to say goodbye to them. I'll dwell on that later though.
Dream big people!
Anyway, this week, things are MUCH better. It's funny because, really, things have kind of started to come apart even more so than before, but I'm ok with it. I've got a new plan, I've started putting the gears into motion and I'm actually quite excited about the whole thing. It's a whole long story and I don't want to explain it all/say anything until I know a few things for sure, but I'm taking steps in the right direction and it feels good. Also, while some things are falling apart, other things are falling perfectly into place. Life is so weird.
Also, I've had some really good activities lately with really nice students and it has lifted my spirits. Having people write "Jacky is not friendly," is a little bit soul crushing at times, but can be canceled out when someone tells you otherwise. There is one student, though, that I kind of want to punch in the face. This one girl I tried SO hard with because she went on a lot of activities, but she would NEVER talk. She answered all my questions with one word and never seemed happy. Normally I'm like, whatever, when they complain, but this girl in particular really irked me because she went with me on the trip to Disneyland on my birthday. And I'm sorry, but I have never been friendlier or nicer than I was on that day. I was bursting with happiness, friendliness, and overall joy on that day. So, I just don't really understand why or how she could possibly say I was not friendly after the almost excessive amount of enthusiasm I had on that day. She's gone now, but seriously? Fuck you. Also, you have ugly stupid bangs and you, Miss one word answers, are not friendly. So there.
Moving right along, I just finished this hilarious book and I highly recommend it. I laughed out loud at multiple parts and was sad when I got to the last page. It's "A Year of Living Biblically" by AJ Jacobs and it was one of the best books I've read in a long time. The title pretty much explains it, but it's basically this guy trying to live by the Bible's rules for a year. It's so funny and some parts are touching and insightful and I really really enjoyed it. He has another about reading the entire encyclopedia, and I'm going to read that next I think. (Also, thanks Dad and Kellie for the Barnes and Noble giftcard with which I bought it!)
So that's my life now. I'm excited about the next phase, trying to enjoy the end of this one and so thankful that I have really fantastic friends here in LA. Everywhere, really, but some really great ones here. I will definitely be sad to say goodbye to them. I'll dwell on that later though.
Dream big people!
13 September 2011
Motivation
Motivation is kind of difficult to come by these days. I tend to get motivated late at night, when I can't actually do any of the things I'm motivated to do. For an assortment of reasons. It usually involves looking up things on the internet, which is no longer possible at my house. Or, it involves doing things at places that are already closed for the day. This is often the gym, the bank, work, or a library. Also, a lot of the time, I'm like, oh, I can't study for the GRE now, I have to go to bed. Then, I go to bed, and when I wake up in the morning, all my motivation is gone.
Anyone that knows me pretty much knows I am not a morning person in any way, shape or form. There are few things I hate more in this life than waking up early. I know it's stupid and I should be grateful for each day, blah blah blah. But if I have to wake up to an alarm, watch out. Seriously. Just don't talk to me. I eventually get my shit together and can act like a normal human being, but for the most part, I hate life for the first hour or so of my day.
Point is, I get really grumpy in the morning and have no motivation to do anything. Then, I do the things I have to do and then it's not until much later in the evening that I feel inclined to do anything productive. Sometimes I clean my room, do laundry or cook dinner and I feel quite accomplished for the day. Then, I start thinking about the million other things I should be doing, get motivated enough to write them all down somewhere and then I get overwhelmed/tired and go to bed. It's a vicious cycle and sometimes I truly wonder how I managed to do a million plus things in high school and college. Tis a mystery.
But, for now, I'm counting not crying today (at ALL) as a huge victory on my part. I figure another couple cry-less days and I will be well on my way accomplishing all sorts of major goals.
I still don't know if my big possibility is happening, but I'm still hopeful and if things haven't really been made final by the end of the week, I think I am going to move into phase two. So we'll see how that goes.
In other news, I feel good about orientation today. I was extra friendly and one of the students told me he reminded me of a "very beautiful Australian actress." So, that is always nice to hear. I also came to work at 11:15 and no one said anything, so I think I'm just going to keep coming later and later until someone tells me not too.
Dream big people!
PS-Also, someone please come visit me. I need some East Coast love for real.
Anyone that knows me pretty much knows I am not a morning person in any way, shape or form. There are few things I hate more in this life than waking up early. I know it's stupid and I should be grateful for each day, blah blah blah. But if I have to wake up to an alarm, watch out. Seriously. Just don't talk to me. I eventually get my shit together and can act like a normal human being, but for the most part, I hate life for the first hour or so of my day.
Point is, I get really grumpy in the morning and have no motivation to do anything. Then, I do the things I have to do and then it's not until much later in the evening that I feel inclined to do anything productive. Sometimes I clean my room, do laundry or cook dinner and I feel quite accomplished for the day. Then, I start thinking about the million other things I should be doing, get motivated enough to write them all down somewhere and then I get overwhelmed/tired and go to bed. It's a vicious cycle and sometimes I truly wonder how I managed to do a million plus things in high school and college. Tis a mystery.
But, for now, I'm counting not crying today (at ALL) as a huge victory on my part. I figure another couple cry-less days and I will be well on my way accomplishing all sorts of major goals.
I still don't know if my big possibility is happening, but I'm still hopeful and if things haven't really been made final by the end of the week, I think I am going to move into phase two. So we'll see how that goes.
In other news, I feel good about orientation today. I was extra friendly and one of the students told me he reminded me of a "very beautiful Australian actress." So, that is always nice to hear. I also came to work at 11:15 and no one said anything, so I think I'm just going to keep coming later and later until someone tells me not too.
Dream big people!
PS-Also, someone please come visit me. I need some East Coast love for real.
10 September 2011
Loserville
I am the biggest loser of all time. I don't really care anymore, but I'm pretty positive it's true. Instead of being out in Vegas, getting drunk and doing crazy Vegas things, I am sitting in my hotel, watching Jimmy Kimmel live (a filler until Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, duh), alone and really looking forward to bed.
So that's my life now.
But seriously. Whatever. I'm tired and I'm getting old and I don't have anyone here to go out with, so here I am. Also, my hotel is really nice and once again, I'm taking full advantage of the internet and TV, which I still do not have at home. And I spent the day at the pool and I really just can't complain about that, ever.
Thanks to everyone that has been concerned about my well-being as of late. Things have improved a great deal. Which means I got through today without crying my eyes out for embarrassingly extended amounts of time. I'm counting this as a plus on my part. I am still sad as shit but I remembered that life goes on, time heals all wounds and all that other bullshit. Basically, life sucks and is super unfair but I also got to spend my workday at the pool so I should probably shut the fuck up and stop whining.
In other news, I think I am developing a new life plan and I'm pretty excited about it. I need a change. I've found change is almost always a positive thing for me, even if it is a big pain in the ass to get going and can be super scary. For example, I just changed to a new phone and it was a huge pain in the ass, as well as expensive. Not really scary, but the point is it has been awesome. I'm in love with my new Blackberry and apologize in advance for the excessive amount of facebook posts that will be coming your way.
Anyway, it's pretty undeveloped right now and the beginning stage is hinging on a very uncertain possibility, but I think it could be good. Don't want to talk too much about it and jinx it, but I'm hoping to get some things nailed down in the next few weeks and move forward with my life.
Last but not least, I just realized my hair is getting really long. I haven't decided just how I feel about it yet. I think I like it but I'm all, should I cut it short again? I think I'm going to focus on finishing my weight loss goals for now and then worry about hair. Oh, and getting my life straightened out. That is important as well.
Ok. Time for the real Jimmy. Gotta focus.
Dream big people!
So that's my life now.
But seriously. Whatever. I'm tired and I'm getting old and I don't have anyone here to go out with, so here I am. Also, my hotel is really nice and once again, I'm taking full advantage of the internet and TV, which I still do not have at home. And I spent the day at the pool and I really just can't complain about that, ever.
Thanks to everyone that has been concerned about my well-being as of late. Things have improved a great deal. Which means I got through today without crying my eyes out for embarrassingly extended amounts of time. I'm counting this as a plus on my part. I am still sad as shit but I remembered that life goes on, time heals all wounds and all that other bullshit. Basically, life sucks and is super unfair but I also got to spend my workday at the pool so I should probably shut the fuck up and stop whining.
In other news, I think I am developing a new life plan and I'm pretty excited about it. I need a change. I've found change is almost always a positive thing for me, even if it is a big pain in the ass to get going and can be super scary. For example, I just changed to a new phone and it was a huge pain in the ass, as well as expensive. Not really scary, but the point is it has been awesome. I'm in love with my new Blackberry and apologize in advance for the excessive amount of facebook posts that will be coming your way.
Anyway, it's pretty undeveloped right now and the beginning stage is hinging on a very uncertain possibility, but I think it could be good. Don't want to talk too much about it and jinx it, but I'm hoping to get some things nailed down in the next few weeks and move forward with my life.
Last but not least, I just realized my hair is getting really long. I haven't decided just how I feel about it yet. I think I like it but I'm all, should I cut it short again? I think I'm going to focus on finishing my weight loss goals for now and then worry about hair. Oh, and getting my life straightened out. That is important as well.
Ok. Time for the real Jimmy. Gotta focus.
Dream big people!
07 September 2011
Keep Your Head Up
So, I'm trying really hard not to be melodramatic these days. I realize it's annoying and unnecessary, but right now, I kind of just feel like nothing is going how I want it. Is this a quarter life crisis? Am I just being whiny? Is it just that time of the month making me all pathetic? I guess we'll see next week.
However, for the moment, I really just want to lay around in my bed and cry. Or watch movies. But I can't because I have to go to work and I don't have tv or internet or a computer with a DVD player to watch movies. This is probably for the best because I am forced to get out into the world and do something with myself rather than waste away in my bed, even though it is super comfy and totally not a waste of time.
You know how sometimes you get into a funk and you're just like, uhhhh. Anyone? Well that is to how I am now and dammit, this funk needs to GO. Since this is my place to whine, I'm going to unload everything real quick. Maybe it will act like a release and I can get on with things. Feel free to stop reading because everyone hates a whiner, I know.
My job is, as always, not the greatest. I've now done most of the activities I wanted to do and don't really feel like doing most of them again. And, everything that has always been wrong with it is still wrong and I just don't really know what to do with myself anymore. That is the real problem here. I don't have any idea what to do. About anything. And right now, I don't even have the energy to make anything happen even if I did. My apartment is stressing me out, because again, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I should stay, get on the lease, repaint it, buy a TV, I just don't know. My weight loss goals have taken a severe detour and I can't seem to get it back on track. Last but not least, someone that was making me very happy is now gone forever. I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic, but it's true. I mean, forever might be extreme but there is a good chance I'm may not see this person ever again. At least not anytime in the near future, which is just depressing. As I've discussed before, I absolutely hate saying having to say goodbye and this was a big, extremely unpleasant goodbye. I had what I wanted, finally, and now it's gone after such a short period of time. WAAAA. Someone please call me a waaambulance.
I know things will get better, because they always do. I just really hate going through this stupid time where everything sucks and you feel like you have nothing to look forward to. And you cry at really inappropriate times and make everything awkward. That's where I am now and I would like to fast forward to happier times. Or rewind this weekend and do it over again.
Sorry for this pathetic, whiny post. I'm keeping my head up (most of the time) and am aware that, this too, shall pass. Also, even though the big dramatic goodbye was yesterday, I also got to spend a lot of time with my aunt which was so lovely. We drove around and admired all the beautiful views LA has to offer.
Dream big people!
However, for the moment, I really just want to lay around in my bed and cry. Or watch movies. But I can't because I have to go to work and I don't have tv or internet or a computer with a DVD player to watch movies. This is probably for the best because I am forced to get out into the world and do something with myself rather than waste away in my bed, even though it is super comfy and totally not a waste of time.
You know how sometimes you get into a funk and you're just like, uhhhh. Anyone? Well that is to how I am now and dammit, this funk needs to GO. Since this is my place to whine, I'm going to unload everything real quick. Maybe it will act like a release and I can get on with things. Feel free to stop reading because everyone hates a whiner, I know.
My job is, as always, not the greatest. I've now done most of the activities I wanted to do and don't really feel like doing most of them again. And, everything that has always been wrong with it is still wrong and I just don't really know what to do with myself anymore. That is the real problem here. I don't have any idea what to do. About anything. And right now, I don't even have the energy to make anything happen even if I did. My apartment is stressing me out, because again, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I should stay, get on the lease, repaint it, buy a TV, I just don't know. My weight loss goals have taken a severe detour and I can't seem to get it back on track. Last but not least, someone that was making me very happy is now gone forever. I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic, but it's true. I mean, forever might be extreme but there is a good chance I'm may not see this person ever again. At least not anytime in the near future, which is just depressing. As I've discussed before, I absolutely hate saying having to say goodbye and this was a big, extremely unpleasant goodbye. I had what I wanted, finally, and now it's gone after such a short period of time. WAAAA. Someone please call me a waaambulance.
I know things will get better, because they always do. I just really hate going through this stupid time where everything sucks and you feel like you have nothing to look forward to. And you cry at really inappropriate times and make everything awkward. That's where I am now and I would like to fast forward to happier times. Or rewind this weekend and do it over again.
Sorry for this pathetic, whiny post. I'm keeping my head up (most of the time) and am aware that, this too, shall pass. Also, even though the big dramatic goodbye was yesterday, I also got to spend a lot of time with my aunt which was so lovely. We drove around and admired all the beautiful views LA has to offer.
Dream big people!
02 September 2011
Doesn't Matter
People! I am still without internet at home. And I'm currently pressed for time. But here is an update, real quick:
Work: everyone hates me and thinks I'm not fun. Not true, obviously. I am the most fun person ever.
Home: I need two new roommates. People are flaky and don't know how to clean. Awesome. For some good news, I bought a new trashcan and a lovely new air freshener for my room.
Miscellaneous: Not all boys are horrible. This is good and bad. Long story, but next week I'm going to be one sad lady.
Ok, well I have to run for now. Today I'm off to Long Beach. I have no idea what I'll be doing there but we'll see! Trying to minimize complaints but it seems impossible. But, what can you do? La la la, doesn't matter.
Dream big people!
Work: everyone hates me and thinks I'm not fun. Not true, obviously. I am the most fun person ever.
Home: I need two new roommates. People are flaky and don't know how to clean. Awesome. For some good news, I bought a new trashcan and a lovely new air freshener for my room.
Miscellaneous: Not all boys are horrible. This is good and bad. Long story, but next week I'm going to be one sad lady.
Ok, well I have to run for now. Today I'm off to Long Beach. I have no idea what I'll be doing there but we'll see! Trying to minimize complaints but it seems impossible. But, what can you do? La la la, doesn't matter.
Dream big people!
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