The Pizza

So I'm ridiculous. In case you haven't caught on to that already, I am. And I'm going to explain why in this post.

First off, it's really quite amazing that I am feeling as fantastic as I am right now. Last week (just Friday, really) was a nightmare. Really. I'm pretending it didn't really happen...it was just a bad dream. So moving right along, I am feeling good today. I joined a gym, have I mentioned that? I think I did...maybe on my other blog, I don't remember. Anyways, so the gym is in the same shopping center as a pizza place called La Pizzeria. The pizza. Super creative, right? Anyways, I'm at the gym and this lady is talking about how good their pizza is because it's run by a family from Italy. The conversation moves on and we discuss how great the Twilight and Harry Potter books (both = awesome...though HP is better). Anywho, I leave and the sign catches my eye. I think, man, I really miss Italy. Also, I have been craving pizza lately. I ate at Brixx last week and had a piece of someone else's pizza (I had a salad) and it was REALLY good. That leads to the following train of thought: that family is from Italy...maybe they'll speak Italian with me!...I bet their pizza is as good as Brixx...don't do it fool, you just worked out!...but they're Italian!...ok, go, you can have it for lunch tomorrow. So in I go and I see a now hiring sign. And my ridiculous self asks the fabulous Italian woman running the cash register if they still need waitresses. WHAT was I thinking?! I know it would be taking on a little much, but in all honesty, I think I would really like it. I realized today how much I thrive on social interaction. And I get very little of that at the pee farm. First off, the people in there are not really people I want to be interacting with. Secondly, even if they are decent, I only interact with them for like, five minutes. Whoa tangent. Anyways, she just took my name and number and really didn't seem very interested in speaking Italian with me...so I just ordered a much too expensive pizza and waited. I also noticed all the cute boys that were working there. And while I was waiting, the people were making the pizza were speaking Italian and literally, my heart was hurting. I could feel it. I want to work there! The pizza was good! (Even though they left off my feta...but that's ok because my name was typed in as "jakee." Oh god, I miss Italy so bad).

That was a long paragraph, so I started a new one, even though I'm really on the same train of thought. I think part of the reason my heart was hurting was today I got the travel bug really bad. I FINALLY finished my TEFL course (95, bitches!) and I got an email about being a summer camp counselor overseas. And I literally almost screamed in happiness. I completely forgot about that option! And I am seriously GIDDY about the prospect of going to camp overseas. Camp is one of my most favorite things ever in life and going to camp overseas would, literally, be a dream come true. So yeah, keep your fingers crossed for me.

In addition to realizing how much I crave social interaction, I also re-affirmed how much happier I am when I have things to do. This past week I've had something to do every day and I am one happy lady today. And I am especially excited about the weeks to come because I am going to have LOTS of stuff to do! Hooray! Soccer starts again next week (JC and I are coaching again), I am taking an IMPROV class (I know, so fun right?), and I am starting some new volunteering program soon. Oh yeah, and I might have a part-time job at La Pizzeria. Which will subsequently lead to me going out with the hot boys that work there and/or the hot boys that will surely come in to eat. Oh yeah, and there is my new gym where I will be getting a new hot bod (to attract the hot boys) and there are always my crazy ass puppies. I think this set is my fave. They are cuddlers and I LOVE me some cuddling pups. Jack and Diane came on Pandora this afternoon and I could not stop smiling.

MAN. This post is long and random. But just a few more things. I have been seeing a lot of Jesus commercials on TV these days. What's up with that? They kind of creep me out. But my favorite was one I heard the other day that was a man screaming about how you need Jesus and how THERE IS NEVER A RECESSION IN THE LORD'S KINGDOM.

And I'll end on that. Thank you and goodnight. Grazie e buonosera.

Ok, wait. One more thing. What the FUCK is going on with Grey's Anatomy? I haven't been watching, but I just saw the end of it (it was a 30 Rock re-run) and apparently Denny is REAL?! What the hell?! I swear he died! I know he did! I watched it senior year and then had to go to class crying because it was such a depressing episode. Then I stopped watching after that because it stressed me out and gave me anxiety. So I'm confused. But now I'm watching Dance Crew and it's making me happy...they dancers are wearing hot pink pants. I want some. Speaking of dancing (sorry, this just keeps getting longer), 1. I REALLY want to go dancing 2. My hero, Belinda Carlisle is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. I don't watch, but I will at least make sure to find out if she goes on or not. You should too.

Ok for real. Basta. (That means enough).

See, completely ridiculous?

Really?

Well, this is depressing. There was a list of "fallacies" about men and relationships today on vsb.com and this was one of them:

4. fallacy: “men love funny women”


truth: men love women with a sense of humor and the ability to “get” and appreciate jokes…not necessarily make them. “funny” women with a endless staccato of jokes, witty insults, and clever comebacks usually remind men of other men, regardless of how attractive they are.


summary: although we love liz lemon, we think shes drier than eraser dust

And that makes me depressed. Because I am funny. Or so I've been told. I mean, I would use funny in a list of adjectives should you ask me to describe myself. And now this. Maybe this explains all that unrequited love I was talking about some posts back. But seriously, really? Why is this so? Obviously, I don't think (at least I'm desperately hoping) this is the opinion of every guy in the whole world, but it kind of makes sense. Look at female comedians, most of them are lesbians or are single. I'm not really aspiring to be a female comedian, but Ellen and Tina Fey (aka Liz Lemon) are two awesome ladies, in my opinion. And I would definitely not mind following their career path. I wonder if they mean Liz Lemon the character though, because she has more problems than just being funny. Drier than eraser dust? Ouch. She is a little crazy though. But Tina Fey is married...to a man...so maybe there is hope for me. Or maybe I'm not really funny, I just think I am and the reason I get no love lies elsewhere. Or maybe I'm just going to have start being un-funny and the guys will come running.

Anyways, just wanted to share really quick. This just made me go, boo. Sad. I thought the other things on the list sounded pretty true, so this one is probably right. Although I'm not necessarily sure if I decide whether or not I'm going to sleep with someone in the first sixty seconds of meeting them. That thought really doesn't cross my mind at all. Maybe subconsciously. Who knows. And as for #6, I think that is DEAD ON. Guys (most of them) are afraid to break girls hearts. We cry and carry on and blah blah, it's a mess. It's tough. It's kind of nice, in a way, that boys are so concerned. But in the end, the girl still gets hurt and no one really wins. I don't know if there is a way to win, really.

Ok, well I'm going to give not being funny a try. This is probably going to be easy since I'm always in a bad mood and who's funny when they're in a bad mood? Not this girl. Also, I rarely talk to boys on any type of romantic level, so this should not be a problem. I will keep you updated.

PS-I will still be coveting Ellen and Tina Fey's jobs. I would still like to be on TV, even if it means I'm sad and lonely because men don't like me. I would make enough money to pay them to like me.

Little Ditty...

'bout JACK AND DIANE....
AH!!!I know...so so cute. I had to look up how to spell ditty.

This is Diane. She kind of looks like a chihuahua. I definitely had to look up how to spell chihuahua. What a ridiculous word.
And here's Jack. He is very manly, even though he is afraid of the cat at my dad's house. Don't tell anyone.
So anyways, they are, of course, super cute. But, like all puppies they are CRAZY! And so annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death. But I do NOT love them peeing ALL over my floor. Honestly, I don't mind the poop as much because I can just pick it up and be done..but the pee lingers. And, it's harder to find, so sometimes I step in it without realizing it was there. I know, SICK. And, poop doesn't make the floor sticky. It just smells worse. And I realize I have a ton of pictures of dogs in my bed. Does that make me weird? I don't know, but these puppies LOVE to cuddle and I, for one, am not going to stop them. These are also harder to get pics of because they are super hyper and always running around like crazy pups. Which they are.

So yeah...there you go. Anyone want to adopt them? How can you resist really? Everyone asks me how I could possibly give them back after a few weeks. And straight up, I cry every time. However, I can't lie, I am always SO ready. They are so cute but super annoying. The worst is in the morning because they don't like to sleep past 5:30 or so. Even on the weekend! I know, why don't they want to sleep in? Silly puppies. And it's cold and so early, I usually just let them out of the cage and of course they pee on the floor. I'm so lazy But I dont' want them to wake up my roommates with their whining. But I'm beginning to be less concerned with my roomies because they both suck. So yeah. But that is for a whole new post.

Well then, nothing else too exciting going on. I feel like there was something else, but I can't think of it. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

Little ditty...bout Jack and Diane...two American puppies, peeing as much as they can.

Like my new version? I know, I should be a song writer.




PS-notice the new bedspread? Yeah, they peed all over my other two, and I had to borrow one. That is how much I love them.

Crazy

Sometimes I really think I'm crazy. I just gave back the other puppies. And I just got through saying, man, I was REALLY ready to give them back because they were driving me crazy! And then the shelter called and asked if I would like to take some more puppies. And what did my crazy ass say? YES PLEASE! And now, here I sit, with them running around, growling at each other, pooping on the floor, whining like little monsters, and annoying the shit out of me. Oh god, they are so cute though! Jack and Diane. I know, more great names. I don't know, they just come to me. It's a gift I guess. Pictures will come as soon as I remember what I did with my USB thingy. We did have a mini-puppy crisis last night though. It was not good. I decided I would cut their nails myself since they were crazy long and I didn't think it would be that hard. And it really wasn't...until I got to the LAST on and Jack moved and I cut too far. Dogs have veins in their nails, so if you cut too far, it bleeds. A lot. And it takes a long time to make it stop. And so I was freaking out because he had been bleeding for almost 30 minutes and I make a rash decision to drive all the way out to North Charleston to the 24 hour emergency shelter. I'm pretty sure there is one closer..in fact, I know there is now because my dad told me. Where was he last night you ask? I don't know, he didn't answer any of my THREE phone calls. Anyways, I get my neighbor to ride out there with me (it's like, 20 minutes away) and of COURSE when we get there, he stops bleeding. Of course! I wait to make sure it's stopped for good and then I come on home. What a fun little trip. And by fun, I mean completely unnecessary and annoying. But really, I'm just glad my buddy Jack is ok. He is doing fine and currently eating one of my shoes. Awesome. Oh, and you are supposed to use super glue to clot the nail. Just in case you ever cut a dog's nails too short. You never know.

So yeah, after my ridiculous night, I had a equally ridiculous day at work that involved driving back and forth downtown three times and doing a DNA test on a baby that was not even 24 hours old. So so fun. But I joined a gym this week and I actually went this afternoon. On a Friday. Who would ever thought. Also, soccer starts next week and I'm kind of excited. Apparently the kids are too, so that's always a good thing.

Well, more puppy news to come I'm sure. Right now they are knawing on my comforter, which I'm sure is very tasty.

Unrequited Love is such a Bitch

HAHAHA! I love it! And unrequited love is THE story of my life, so I think this cake...cookie? was made especially for me. Seriously, it is beyond ridiculous the things boys have put me through. But somehow, I'm still standing. And I'm ok with it. And I definitely don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for those boys. Ya heard?

So yeah, basically I am not bitter about Valentine's Day. I have had two realllly awkward Valentine's (they came at the beginning of relationships...or should I say relationSHITS...bahahah, thanks Dane Cook) and zero good ones and I am doing just fine without having a Valentine this year. The only thing I was kind of sad about was not being able to buy a cute card at Target. I know, I am so selfless...it's ridiculous. But for real, they have such cute stuff! And I am a sucker for cute stuff...I want to buy it for someone else. But in all honesty, boys don't really appreciate cute stuff, so maybe it's best I don't waste my money on things that go unappreciated. And I know Valentine's is a big, stupid, commercial holiday that was created by card companies and as a single woman, I am supposed to be angry and bitter and cry my lonely self to sleep. However, I see it more as an excuse to tell people you love that you love them. They forget sometimes. True story: I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day the other day and in my pathetic self, the thought that no one cared about me literally crossed my mind (I tend to get overdramatic when I'm hungry and people are mean to me at work...and that was the day I had to give the puppies back). But then I got home and I had gotten two Valentine's Day cards in the mail and it was a lovely reminder that people do, in fact, love me. :)

OH yeah! I saw the Vagina Monologues at the College of Charleston last night. I had mixed feelings. First off, let me just say that I think Vday is one of the greatest organizations ever and I want so badly to work for them. There are so many things that, as a woman, blow my mind. I don't think things are completely equal for us ladies here in the United States, but the atrocities that women suffer in other countries is absolutely appalling. Especially in times of war. Every year they have a spotlight monologue and this year it was for the women of the Congo. And it is absolute insanity what these poor women have to suffer through. I am so so SO grateful to be a woman here in the US, in this day and age. What women are capabale of doing and what they have already done is so amazing. And how women, under the most horrific of circumstances, perserve and manage to make a life for themselves and their families is so incredible. Men underestimate and underappreciate women so very much...it's very disheartening.

Hm, I am kind of rambling. I am having trouble articulating the passion that comes with this cause. But it's big. Humonguous really. Eve Ensler is awesome.

Anyways, as for the actual performance...I have never actually seen it from the audience since I've always been in it. So it was a new perspective. I did enjoy it though, it's so entertaining and it's so fun to watch people that have never seen it react. However, my selfish side came out a little. The Vag Mons have such a special place in my heart from PC and it's hard to seperate MY Vag Mons from other people's. And My Angry Vagina is MY monologue and obviously, I was a pretty harsh critic on the girl that did it. She did a good job though.

Ok, she talked a little too fast and had really bad hair. There. I said what I really feel. I don't really know how I did since I never saw myself, but in my head, I was awesome.

I could probably go on about Vday for ever and ever. So I'll stop myself before I get out of control. In closing, tell people you love that you love them. Tell a women she's awesome. Go see the Vag Mons if you haven't yet. Enlighten yourself. And have a very Happy Valentine's Day.

Ciao ciao Bella e Notte

I had to give the puppies back today. :( It was bittersweet. I was super tired of them waking me up at 5 in the morning, peeing all over my damn floor and especially tired of them fighting and in general, being really loud when I wanted them to be quiet. But they were SO dang cute! I will miss them. But, the vet said I did a "fabulous" job with them. So go me. Because I thought I wasn't doing anything right. Apparently I am practically the puppy whisperer. And, oh my gosh, they got so freaking big! They are seriously going to be HUGE ass dogs. One of my friends might adopt Bella, so that would be awesome. We'll see. I hope she always remembers who her REAL mom is though (me). Now, let's honor them with a slide show. Please enjoy. And sorry some of the pics are sideways. I forgot to fix them before I downloaded them and now I don't feel like re-doing it. Also, there are 145 pics...so prepare yourself.


Also, here are some videos of them being super cute. I don't know if you can stand it.



The water was freezing!!!



And yes, that is me making those freaky noises. Sorry if I creep you out. I kind of creep myself out.

So anyways, I think a puppy break will be good for me...but I hope I get some new ones soon. They make life so much better...and cuter! And, everyone loves me more too! It's great! I wanted to take them to bars and stuff to attract guys, but I thought that might just be a little too much. So I'll just try the beach when it gets warmer.

One last thing. I know it's on the slideshow, but you might not have made it that far (it's like, #104)...but this is my favorite from the other day: Ok favorite two...




Isn't the beach the most fabulous place ever? Yes, I think so too.

Dance Dance

So I thought this was super awesome. Only the first two minutes or so. I don't know why it's so long...but you can keep watching because it's ellen and she's awesome and my favorite. But, I was really just talking about the dancers.



How freaking cool are they?! I am so in love with coordinated dances. Hello, that is why I'm obsessed with cheesy ass dance movies like Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and Step Up, Step Up 2 and Stomp the Yard. First off, learning the main dance in DDHN is one of my life goals. All I need is a super cheesy Cuban (any Latino would work I think..as long as he can dance and has a cute accent) and I am set. And I realllly want to go to go a club and see a dance off like in Step Up. Do things like that really happen? God, that would be so awesome. And I also really really REALLY want to go to a step show! I know I would be the lamest, most gooberest, whitest person there but I would not even give a shit. I think step is so freaking awesome and wish so so bad I could do it. I also really want to go to a Drumline-esq show. I know those exist, but I just don't know when or where. If you hear of anything, let me know. Corey was supposed to take me to a step and/or drum show (b/c he lives in Atlanta and is black, so of course I figured he would know where to go) but he sucks and is all talk and no action...and we don't speak anymore...so that is not happening. How sad. I don't think Charleston has that kind of stuff going on. But I wouldn't really know...out of the very few friends I have down here, a very small percentage of them are black. Am I supposed to say black? I don't know. I think it's ok though, so I'm sticking with it. African-American is too long to type every time. Again, I would ask someone, but my go-to person is gone.

So anyways, if any of you lovely people hear of a throw down somewhere, hook me up because a dance off would make.my.life.

Peace up. C town down.

Color Me Crazy

Isn't that a fabulous saying? Yes, I thought so too.

So. I was browsing through CNN.com this morning. And came across this story:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/04/freezing.death.folo/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
And now I'm confused. And probably going to hell for having this opinion. But I don't really care at the moment because this day has sucked ass so far (it's 10:00 in the morning) and why not just add fuel to the fire? I wish I could figure out how to put the whole article on here..bu I don't feel like getting that fancy right now..so just click on the link and read it.

Ok. So here are my thoughts:

It's terrible that this man died. It's terrible when most people die (I say most because sometimes terrible people need to die...like Hitler), and I'm sure this man was a very nice, lovely person who did not deserve to suffer at the hands of hypothermia.

However. He did not pay his electricity bill. He owed $1,000. I'm pretty sure it's a standard policy if you don't pay your bills, your electricity gets cut off. Same with water, cable, etc. So I don't understand why people are blaming the electricity company for his death and calling it "unforgivable." It's not like they just randomly cut off his heat because they didn't like him and were like, screw you old man. He wasn't discriminated against or treated unfairly...he was treated like everyone else that doesn't pay their bills. And he clearly had enough money to pay since he is allegedly leaving the local hospital $600,000. Surely he could have dipped into his savings to pay his bills. And people's electricity gets cut off all the time. Are all deaths and/or ailments related to cold going to be the fault of companies for not giving people that don't pay power? (Is that a double negative? Hm)

There are some other random things as well. His nephews and neighbors are appalled and shocked that this happened. The man was NINETY-THREE years old. Number one, why is he living by himself and number two, they are now all of the sudden so concerned about him..why was no one checking on him when it was freezing ass cold outside? And furthermore, surely his poor man noticed it was getting a little chilly in his house. He could have called the company or left for somewhere warmer...a neighbor's house..the grocery store..Starbucks..whatever. The nephew is saying the company should have treated this guy differently, they should have noticed he was 93, made note of his previous payment history and made direct contact with him to see what was up. Where on your electic bill does it say your age? And isn't that how most deliquient bill payers start off...they were paying their bills and then they weren't? What would have made his stand out? I think the nephew should have been a little more observant and checked on his uncle. Maybe he was mad because he knew he wasn't getting any of his money. The article says the company stopped the practice of cutting off power to people that don't pay. Because that makes sense. People don't pay their bills..but they still get power. Well, I don't really feel like paying for my groceries, but I should be able to eat. So when I die of starvation, will someone please sue a grocery store in my honor for not giving me free food?

I read a comment from someone that said to protest this man's death, he was not going to pay his bill either. And when they call him to say something, he is going to make sure they know what "jackasses" they are. Good plan dude. And I bet that guy is going to be super pleased when his bill starts going up to cover the cost of people getting free electricity.

Don't get me wrong. I think it's awful that this happened. But is it really the electricity company's fault? I think not. Like most things, it is a combination of unfortunate circumstances and people are just looking for someone to blame.

In general, the news is ridiculous. Other really important headlines on CNN.com included a Korean woman that failed her driving test 771 times and how Donald Trump thinks we are in a depression. Both very important stories. I also love how Columbia police are now lauching an investigation to see whether or not Michael Phelps inhaled when he was hitting that bong. OMG-WHO CARES!?! Phelps is up on a pedestal because people put him there...give him a break! How are they even going to find that out? Even a drug test can't pin point exactly when and where he smoked. I would know. And since the Richland County police obviously don't have anything better to do with their time, maybe they can come down here and investigate an arson case. Because the Charleston police aren't interested in doing it.

Well, I guess that is enough ranting for today. I think I am ging to stick the Onion for my news from now on.

But I am le tired.

I am ALWAYS le tired. Have I talked about this before? I think I have. I'm too tired to remember. It's really very annoying. I would like some energy. When I'm not tired, I am much happier. I think happy thoughts and feel like I can accomplish things. When I'm tired, all I want to do is get in my bed. Which accomplishes nothing other than getting some use out of my sheets. They were pretty cheap sheets, so I'm sure I've gotten my money's worth by now.

Alright, well moving on. I BAKED last weekend. That's right, me. Baking. It was pretty fabulous. Actually, it was the end product that was so fabulous. I made mille-feuille, which is a french dessert that I once had in Italy. So maybe it's Italian as well. I didn't get details. I just remember that it was SO TASTY. One of the tastiest things I have ever tasted. My roommates and I were at some rando restaurant in Italy and we randomly picked this dessert and I've been dreaming about it ever since. One of my roommates asked the owner to write down the name of the name of it...I was embarrassed for her at the time, but now I'm really glad she did. I was pretty terrible at remembering the names of places and food when I was in Italy. Probably because everything was in Italian and that was just a little too much for me to handle. Restaurants were referred to by a nickname or adjective that went along with the experience. The balls restaurant (that referred to dessert balls..not actual balls), the waiters with tight pants restaurant, the crazy man restaurant...you get the idea. Anyways, I made the dessert and it turned out to be really good. Not as good as the original..but nothing ever is, right? Oh, and by made, I mean helped a lot while my friend did most of the work and told me what to do. Still...I bought all the ingredients.

So that's my baking story. Nothing else really exciting is happening in these parts. Besides the puppies. They are so fabulous. And annoying at the same time. Lots of pooping in the house going on. Not cool. I am going to put up their photo montage if I can remember how. It might have to be later.

Oh My

This made me laugh so hard.



More later. I BAKED last night. I need to share.