Meanwhile...

Ok, so a quick update.

I've been avoiding it because I don't know 100% what is going on, and over here, you have to watch what you say. I have written out the whole long saga, but I'm hesitant to put it online because the slander laws are no joke. Also, just when I think everything is said and done, some other opportunity pops up and I realize this story may never end.

So, for people that want to have some sort of update: sorry, things are still not resolved. (For people that are out of the loop: Sorry. Basically I'm trying to get a work visa in Korea and am having some issues. Long story.) I got past immigration in the airport without any problems, and there were mixed reactions at the immigration office in Seoul. Met some nice people, dealt with a lot of attitude, but mainly got the runaround about what happened, what can happen, and what might happen in the future. Things didn't look good, but another offer presented itself so I'm giving it one last (maybe?) chance tomorrow. I really don't know what to expect because literally everything has been a surprise this trip, so you just never know. Actually, the last two months have been a total surprise so I'm just never going to plan anything ever again, because what's the point, life does whatever it wants. I am slowly learning to be a little more flexible and just go with the flow.

The first few days (and last couple of months, really) have been kind of a struggle. I don't really like to talk about it for a lot of reasons. For one thing, I live a privileged life. I am lucky, loved and taken care of by so many people and I really have no right to complain. I've traveled to tons of cool places, I have an amazing family that supported me 100% abroad and at home, and I am doing pretty damn well by anyone's standards. But, I was kind of in a funk after coming home from Korea. Reserve culture shock, boredom, weight gain, missing Korea, laziness, etc, etc made it really hard to accomplish anything. Don't get me wrong, most of the time, I was having a great time readjusting to American life, and visiting family and friends. However, I am someone that needs a schedule in order to get anything done. If I don't have anything to do, I will do absolutely nothing. I had all day, every day, to work out, apply for jobs, work on projects, blah blah. I did none of these things and had no motivation to do so. I love to sleep and I had tons of TV to catch up on, and the beach was calling my name almost every day. Plus Golden Girls is on like, all the time so it was a good excuse not to do anything.

I started to apply for jobs a few times, but it was too overwhelming to even try and figure out where to start. Even though I loved teaching in Korea, I knew I didn't want to do it in America. Actually, I couldn't even if I wanted to, since I don't have an education degree or, really, any other qualifications to be an actual teacher.  Even re-doing my resume seemed like an insurmountable challenge. I never actually did it, so maybe it was, we'll never know. People kept telling me, don't worry, just take a break, enjoy it! But it was kind of hard to actually give myself a break. Outward appearances may have seemed otherwise, with most of my days spent at the beach, or on the couch. While all of this was awesome, in my head, I was constantly freaking about what I was going to with my life and how I was going to find the motivation to actually do anything besides sleep and eat. So, when the chance to come back to Korea presented itself, I jumped at the possibility of having structure and productivity back in my life. Even though it's probably the most ridiculous and counterproductive decisions I've made in my life, I am just now starting to feel ok about having made it. Anyway, we'll see how long that keeps up, after tomorrow.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but it feels good to get it all out. I sometimes don't like to talk about all the issues because no one likes a complainer, right? Well, turns out, as long as I'm not complaining all day, every day, people are helpful and nice. Not only is it great to get it off my chest, but I have lovely friends that help me see the humor, think of new solutions and remind me that everything, as always, is going to be just fine.

Last week, after the first round of bad news, I spent the entire day in bed. I kind of needed at least a day to adjust and pull it together, but now I'm happy to be back in the world. I got SY's bike fixed, have already mastered the bus route near my house and stuffed myself with Korean bbq, so things are looking up.

So that's where we are now. Tomorrow will bring new changes and then maybe I'll get around to posting all the back story to this hot ass mess I've gotten myself into.

Until then, dream big, people!