Keep Your Head Up

So, I'm trying really hard not to be melodramatic these days. I realize it's annoying and unnecessary, but right now, I kind of just feel like nothing is going how I want it. Is this a quarter life crisis? Am I just being whiny? Is it just that time of the month making me all pathetic? I guess we'll see next week.

However, for the moment, I really just want to lay around in my bed and cry. Or watch movies. But I can't because I have to go to work and I don't have tv or internet or a computer with a DVD player to watch movies. This is probably for the best because I am forced to get out into the world and do something with myself rather than waste away in my bed, even though it is super comfy and totally not a waste of time.

You know how sometimes you get into a funk and you're just like, uhhhh. Anyone? Well that is to how I am now and dammit, this funk needs to GO. Since this is my place to whine, I'm going to unload everything real quick. Maybe it will act like a release and I can get on with things. Feel free to stop reading because everyone hates a whiner, I know.

My job is, as always, not the greatest. I've now done most of the activities I wanted to do and don't really feel like doing most of them again. And, everything that has always been wrong with it is still wrong and I just don't really know what to do with myself anymore. That is the real problem here. I don't have any idea what to do. About anything. And right now, I don't even have the energy to make anything happen even if I did. My apartment is stressing me out, because again, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I should stay, get on the lease, repaint it, buy a TV, I just don't know. My weight loss goals have taken a severe detour and I can't seem to get it back on track. Last but not least, someone that was making me very happy is now gone forever. I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic, but it's true. I mean, forever might be extreme but there is a good chance I'm may not see this person ever again. At least not anytime in the near future, which is just depressing. As I've discussed before, I absolutely hate saying having to say goodbye and this was a big, extremely unpleasant goodbye. I had what I wanted, finally, and now it's gone after such a short period of time. WAAAA. Someone please call me a waaambulance.

I know things will get better, because they always do. I just really hate going through this stupid time where everything sucks and you feel like you have nothing to look forward to. And you cry at really inappropriate times and make everything awkward. That's where I am now and I would like to fast forward to happier times. Or rewind this weekend and do it over again.

Sorry for this pathetic, whiny post. I'm keeping my head up (most of the time) and am aware that, this too, shall pass. Also, even though the big dramatic goodbye was yesterday, I also got to spend a lot of time with  my aunt which was so lovely. We drove around and admired all the beautiful views LA has to offer.

Dream big people!