Motivation

Motivation is kind of difficult to come by these days. I tend to get motivated late at night, when I can't actually do any of the things I'm motivated to do. For an assortment of reasons. It usually involves looking up things on the internet, which is no longer possible at my house. Or, it involves doing things at places that are already closed for the day. This is often the gym, the bank, work, or a library. Also, a lot of the time, I'm like, oh, I can't study for the GRE now, I have to go to bed. Then, I go to bed, and when I wake up in the morning, all my motivation is gone.

Anyone that knows me pretty much knows I am not a morning person in any way, shape or form. There are few things I hate more in this life than waking up early. I know it's stupid and I should be grateful for each day, blah blah blah. But if I have to wake up to an alarm, watch out. Seriously. Just don't talk to me. I eventually get my shit together and can act like a normal human being, but for the most part, I hate life for the first hour or so of my day.

Point is, I get really grumpy in the morning and have no motivation to do anything. Then, I do the things I have to do and then it's not until much later in the evening that I feel inclined to do anything productive. Sometimes I clean my room, do laundry or cook dinner and I feel quite accomplished for the day. Then, I start thinking about the million other things I should be doing, get motivated enough to write them all down somewhere and then I get overwhelmed/tired and go to bed. It's a vicious cycle and sometimes I truly wonder how I managed to do a million plus things in high school and college. Tis a mystery.

But, for now, I'm counting not crying today (at ALL) as a huge victory on my part. I figure another couple cry-less days and I will be well on my way accomplishing all sorts of major goals.

I still don't know if my big possibility is happening, but I'm still hopeful and if things haven't really been made final by the end of the week, I think I am going to move into phase two. So we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I feel good about orientation today. I was extra friendly and one of the students told me he reminded me of a "very beautiful Australian actress." So, that is always nice to hear. I also came to work at 11:15 and no one said anything, so I think I'm just going to keep coming later and later until someone tells me not too.

Dream big people!

PS-Also, someone please come visit me. I need some East Coast love for real.