I Laughed, I Cried

Today was a mixed bag. First off, let me just say that I am (for the moment) genuinely excited about seeing my kids every day. I went to sleep Sunday night pretty pumped about seeing all their goober selves Monday morning. Waking up Monday morning was another story. I have discussed previously my dislike for mornings and Korea is no exception. I don't think there is anything I hate more than waking up to an alarm....any morning, for any reason. I know I should be grateful for the day and all that jazz, but horrible, horrible thoughts are in my mind when that alarm goes off. Horrible thoughts and reasons why I should hit snooze 1...then 7 more times. Every night I decide tomorrow is the morning I'm going to get up a little earlier and have a little extra time in the morning to make coffee, get to school a little early, whatever. And every morning I decide how long I can feasibly stay in bed and make it to work on time. I hate it, but I am a night owl and that's that. The absolute latest I can leave my apartment is 8:50...8:55 and I feel guilty about being late, even though no one would say anything. My alarm goes off at 7:40, I usually get out of bed at 8:20 and leave around 8:45. I've given up on trying to look decent. I like Korea, but it's freezing and it's making me ugly. I don't know what is happening, but whatever small amount of good looks I had before I got here have been sucked right out of me. It's very sad.

Anyway, point is, after my initial anger of having to get out of bed (seriously, this happens every morning...even weekends when I can get up when I want. And even days when really great things are going to happen. It's bizarre), I get pumped because I get to see all my little goobers. I stress a little about what I'm going to teach that day, but I usually manage to get my shit together. Monday mornings we have a teachers meeting so I don't get to greet the kids as they come in and it makes me a little sad, but I get to see them later and I get a "Good Morning Jacky Teacher" so I'm good. Well, today, we had snack (fried cornbread with some sort of honey glaze) and then it was off to the bathroom for hand washing. We go on class bathroom breaks probably 6 times a day. I noticed one girl was wearing her headband around her neck so I took it off and tried to put it back on her head. And that son of a bitch broke. It just snapped right in half! Apparently it was made of plastic and not the flexible rubbery material mine is made out of.  All the little girls in the bathroom were just staring at me, silent. And then the little girl burst into tears. OMG-I felt SO terrible. And the worst part was, at first I kind of laughed. LET ME EXPLAIN. First off, that is what I do when I get nervous/uncomfortable/awkward. I didn't think it was funny at all, but it did make me super flustered. I was basically thinking in my head: FUCK. This is not good. Plus, all of them were staring at me like I had just chopped off her hand so it was horrible and I had an audience. And she didn't stop crying for like, 30 minutes. She also refused to look at me and wouldn't come write on the board when I asked her too when we got back to class. Oh my, I just felt so awful! But, later I got her laughing and I gave her a sticker...she seemed pretty pleased about that, so I hope I'm forgiven. I also wrote her mom a note and made an "I'm sorry" card. I think she and I are good, I just hope the mom is cool with it. I'm kind of nervous because a lot of the families have a lot of money and the other teachers are always talking about how demanding the moms are. So, I'm nervous she'll be mad AND I'm nervous that the headband cost a lot of money. I wrote the mom that I would replace it, so I'm just hoping it wasn't a Burberry or Prada headband. Because some of them have Burberry and Prada jackets and clothing. No joke.

So that was the crisis for the day. But at the end of the day, I squatted down to give a little boy a hug goodbye and he gave me a kiss on the cheek! Then my heart exploded. So everything ended on a good note. :)

Also, I have been coming up with some bombass ideas for my class and I'm pumped about using them. I haven't gotten everything 100% ready, but those kids better be prepared to be stunned and amazed. And I also hope they like it because they sometimes don't get into things I think they'll be excited about. We'll see.

Well, I'm tired. Time to go to bed all excited about tomorrow and then wake up grumpy and cursing the world. Yay!

Dream big people!