I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Ok, people. As a disclaimer, shit's about to get real. This shit right here, this shit right here. Yes, about to get real. For real. So don't read if you can't handle the realness. I am not kidding, I don't want to hear any complaining.

First off, I suck at talking to/flirting with/attracting/understanding/holding the interest of/getting anywhere with boys. It really is just very sad. And confusing. I just don't really get it. I am awesome in all ways imaginable and now I'm a freaking TV STAR, so what is the problem? I don't really know. I do know that I made a fool of myself Saturday night via phone (whyyyy didn't someone take mine from me???) and went home alone, as always. It was a very sad evening. Well, it was only sad at the end. Because the housewarming party was really fun and lots of people came. And, we didn't have any complaining from downstairs, so I was happy. Earlier that afternoon I had taken her (the crazy cat lady curmudgeon downstairs) a cupcake and explained what was going on, hoping she would be ok with the noise at least until 11. I also worked in the Ellen angle and asked if she was a fan. Of course she was (who isn't), so we bonded over that. She had not seen my show, but I told her all about it. And she told me about all kinds of other random things. I'm not sure she is all there, but that's ok.

Second, I have pooped blood twice. Told you this was real. Anyways, I assessed my symptoms on webmd  and I think I'm going to live. Nothing else hurts or anything, so we'll see what happens.

Third, I did not get into grad school in Amsteram. :( I am very sad about this. I was told it was because I did not have the proper prerequisites, which is 30 hours in research methodology and a strong base in the field of International Development. And I really don't want to dwell on it, but did it really take them 5 months to figure out that I didn't have that? Also, am I just completely stupid and or did I totally miss the section of the application that explained those stipulations as requirements? Oh well. It sucks, but everything happens for a reason. Or something. I  am ready for the next door to open. You know, cause this one closed? Moving on.

Fourth, I had to get bitchy today at work and it was not pretty. This crazy lady sent me FOUR emails about how she wanted her client moved to a host family closer to the school. I wrote her back and said we were working on it and then she called. From Prague. Lame. First off, I am not the one that places people nor can these kind of things be fixed in a day. Then she told me I would maybe understand if I had kids one day. Right ok, please shut up and get a life because it was like 9:00pm in Prague when she called me.

Lastly, I need new music and would love some suggestions. Please advise. Also, as lame as this day was, and as uncertain as my future is (with boys, life, work, etc), I was still on Ellen and it was amazing. Thank you and goodnight.

DREAM BIG PEOPLE!