That is what a 70 year old woman taking a drug test told me today. "All god's creatures flush." I'm sorry, but that is retarded. Only humans flush, seeing as no other creatures use toilets. You are an idiot. And yes, I realize the woman was 70 and I am an awful person for even saying that but whatever, she was extremely rude to me prior to taking the test. And I don't care who you are, that is a stupid thing to say.
Moving on, the topic of this post is not stupid 70 woman. It is about stupid BOYS. Seriously, they are so stupid. I don't know how many boys are reading this, if any, but you might want to stop. Actually, it would be in your best interest to read on. You might learn something.
This was inspired because of a conversation I had with a friend the other night. I have tons of conversations about how stupid boys are with lots of my (girl) friends...and sometimes my brother...but this particular conversation stood out because I realized that I, thankfully, was not the only person that had gone through some nonsense. I knew this already, but it was nice to be reminded. I forget sometimes.
So anyways, there are some things that boys do that are just so totally stupid and ridiculous and I just don't understand it. And they say girls are sooo difficult and confusing, but I just don't see it. I don't feel that I am difficult or confusing. I am pretty straightforward when it comes to dating. That hasn't really worked out well for me, so maybe I should become difficult and confusing. Whatever, this isn't about me. This is about boys. Here are my completely random thoughts....
1. Text messaging and facebook are NOT appropriate forms of communication when romance is (potentially) involved and/or when romance is ending. Texting and facebook are both beautiful, fabulous, convenient things. They are not, however, substitutions for actual communication. Doing things in person is ALWAYS the best way to go. Obviously, if you can't be with someone physically, a phone call is your next option. Then an email, then a facebook message, then a text message and last but not least, a wall post. Now, all of the above are good for day to day, casual conversation. A hey, how is your day going? Or, hey I miss you, thought you should know. Or maybe even a hey, I saw that TV show you always talk about last night and you're right, it's hysterical. Here is what it is NOT good for: Asking a person out on a date. Discussing the date and/or encounter you just had with that person. Having an entire conversation about something that would be better discussed over the phone. And last, but certainly not least, BREAKING SOMEONES HEART. It's embarrassing, disrespectful and straight up tacky. If a girl has shown you respect by putting some effort into a relationship, show some respect to her and man up and break up with her in person. If you're long distance, skype that shit or at least pick up the phone. UGH. It baffles me that 1. I have to even say that 2. Boys would EVER think that was ok and 3. That it, embarrassingly enough, has happened to me. So so tacky.
2. Once you've had a serious relationship (or relations) with someone, it is damn near impossible to be friends with them. I'm sorry, but why on earth do boys think this is even possible? I know why, because they are selfish and they want to break a girls heart, but not feel bad about it. And if they are "friends" then they think they haven't really done anything wrong and all is well. I mean, haven't you seen enough movies to know that girls are more emotional than boys and it's hard enough to pick yourself up after a break up, much less have to pretend you still like the heart breaker and are interested in hearing about their next girl. NO. It doesn't work that way! I don't really believe in "mutual" break ups (probably because they don't exist) because one of the people in the broken relationship didn't want it to break. One of the persons is all for fixing it and/or thought nothing was wrong in the first place. So to ask them to just go on like nothing happened and be friends with the breaker is ludicrous. ABSALUDICROUS.
3. When you say stuff "I love you" you had better be ready to deal with the responsibilities of those words. You don't say stuff like that to people and then write them off very soon afterwards. You need to think really hard about what you're saying, make sure you mean it, and then be ready to prove it.
4. Just because you think a girl looks pretty, doesn't mean she knows it. It's always nice to hear. Again, surely you have seen a romantic comedy or two. Take some notes. And if you don't like romantic movies, I know you have seen a sitcom. They deal with this kind of stuff all the time.
5. There are a MILLION fun, interesting things to do in [insert where you live]. Don't be lame and just go to dinner and a movie all the time. Boring is lame.
6. Just because you buy a girl a drink or dance with her does not mean she has to go home with you. You are not entitled to anything. Doesn't matter how hard she's grinding on you at the club.
There were other things I had in mind when I started this post...but I got distracted by the puppies (they have started pooping in the house. NOT COOL.) and forgot them. So maybe there will be a part two to this.
I think the biggest thing I hate about boys is how they are the crazy ones, but somehow, at the end of it all, they turn it around and make us look the crazy people. And by us, I mean my friend and I. I'm sure it has happened to lots of people but it's basically this:
Boy meets girl (or reunites with them, whatever)
Boy throws himself at girl. Girl resists. Boy tries harder. Girl gives in a little. Boy continues on his ridiculous path and says things like, "I think I am falling in love with you." Girl scoffs, surely not. Boy continues. Girl finally gives in and decides to try and have a somewhat meaningful relationship.
Boy retreats. Boy acts like girl is crazy for wanting to be in a relationship and claims he doesn't understand where she even got that idea from. Boy breaks girl's heart. Boy moves on to next girl.
Game over.
See the problem?
With that being said, I am perfectly happy being single right now. Thank you and goodnight.
29 January 2009
26 January 2009
Five Things
I just finished reading "Five Things I Can't Live Without." It was a chick lit book and it wasn't all that fabulous, but it wasn't all that bad either. As always, I figured out a way to link the character back to my life, which made me both sad and hopeful. But anyways, the main character quits her job and decides to become a free-lance writer that re-writes people's online dating profiles. I think that would be kind of interesting. I also think that it must be so hard for the people that contact her. I mean, it's bad enough you are using an online dating service (I know they are not that terrible, but I don't know, for me, it just kind of represents rock bottom. Which I am very close too, so I can't really talk), but to have to hire someone because their profile sucks...double whammy. I would think. Maybe not though, online dating seems to be the norm in some places. ANYWAYS-one of the questions on the profiles is what are five things you can't live without? (Am I supposed to end the previous sentence with a question mark or a period?) I wish I could give examples of ones in the book, but I already took it back to the library and I don't remember many except that one guy was super into plants and one girl's was like, satin sheets, scented candles, other random sexy things and her dog. She was kind of a slut. And satin sheets are terrible. So I decided I would come up with the five things I couldn't live without...hypothetically. I decided to not be literal and leave out things like food, water, air, money, good health, a house, etc. No bare necessity kind of things. Especially no ants or prickly pears.
So here they are...in no particular order:
1. Music. I love music. I relate songs to nearly everything in my life. I have soundtracks and playlists for different times of my life, places, people, events, moods, etc. I miss playing the viola and creating music, and wish I had the time and money to learn to play the drums, guitar, piano and cello. Music can move me to tears, make my heart burst with happiness and long for something unknown all at the same time. When I think about my (potentially nonexistant) wedding, all I really focus on are what songs will be played at the reception. That, and how I'm going to have fireworks. Everything else falls to the wayside. Music is paired with dancing and there are few things better than dancing. Concerts are one of the few. If a first date were to be a concert, I might consider giving it up one the first date. Right now I'm listening to the Brandenburg Concerto and it makes me smile remembering playing it in orchestra junior year and how I could really only hit about half the notes (I wasn't very good).
2. The beach. Nothing calms me down or fills me with peace like sitting on the beach. Anytime of the year, I can walk onto the beach, take a deep breath and my stress and worry is long forgotten. I love the smell, the sand, the sound of the water and just the basic beauty that comes with a beach scene. I love going during the day in the summer and basking in the sunlight. Just basking. Not drinking or playing frisbee or bocci or throwing a football. Just basking and enjoying myself. Sometimes reading and maybe a walk...but mainly basking. I love going at night and watching the waves in the moonlight. The beach at night can make me cry for no good reason at all. I love it all. I was born a beach girl and will always be a beach girl. Sorry mountains, but our relationship will always be on a short term basis.
3. My laptop. I know, so superficial right? But it really is my lifeline. It houses all my music and connects me to the world. I said goodbye to my desktop senior year and havne't looked back once. I use it pretty much every day and, after serious thought, have decided it would be one of the things I would grab if my house were to ever catch on fire. It has a lot of memories.
4. My family. I don't even have enough words for how important and fabulous my family is. We are quite a strange family, with lots of quirks and abnormalities, but it works and I am so lucky to have them.
5. Books. I LOVE reading. I wish it was my job to read all day every day...while listening to music on the beach. And then I could go home and write critiques about them on my laptop. Add in a family dinner every now and then and life would be so grand. I like books because they have the ability to keep me connected to and learn about the world, while also taking me somewhere far far away from the real world. I've talked many a time about how connected I get with books and characters. It is one of my goals to have a big, ridiculous library when I settle down somewhere. I've started a mini-one already and am really quite proud.
So there you have it. The people in the book didn't go into quite so much detail, but it's my blog and I'll do it all day. What are your five things?
Oh yeah, and I've fallen down on providing song recommendations. So today's are some of my fave classical pieces:
Brandenburg Concerti by Bach (No. 3)
Egmont Overture by Beethoven
The October Sky theme
The Piano Song from Legends of the Fall
Pachelbels Canon in D
So here they are...in no particular order:
1. Music. I love music. I relate songs to nearly everything in my life. I have soundtracks and playlists for different times of my life, places, people, events, moods, etc. I miss playing the viola and creating music, and wish I had the time and money to learn to play the drums, guitar, piano and cello. Music can move me to tears, make my heart burst with happiness and long for something unknown all at the same time. When I think about my (potentially nonexistant) wedding, all I really focus on are what songs will be played at the reception. That, and how I'm going to have fireworks. Everything else falls to the wayside. Music is paired with dancing and there are few things better than dancing. Concerts are one of the few. If a first date were to be a concert, I might consider giving it up one the first date. Right now I'm listening to the Brandenburg Concerto and it makes me smile remembering playing it in orchestra junior year and how I could really only hit about half the notes (I wasn't very good).
2. The beach. Nothing calms me down or fills me with peace like sitting on the beach. Anytime of the year, I can walk onto the beach, take a deep breath and my stress and worry is long forgotten. I love the smell, the sand, the sound of the water and just the basic beauty that comes with a beach scene. I love going during the day in the summer and basking in the sunlight. Just basking. Not drinking or playing frisbee or bocci or throwing a football. Just basking and enjoying myself. Sometimes reading and maybe a walk...but mainly basking. I love going at night and watching the waves in the moonlight. The beach at night can make me cry for no good reason at all. I love it all. I was born a beach girl and will always be a beach girl. Sorry mountains, but our relationship will always be on a short term basis.
3. My laptop. I know, so superficial right? But it really is my lifeline. It houses all my music and connects me to the world. I said goodbye to my desktop senior year and havne't looked back once. I use it pretty much every day and, after serious thought, have decided it would be one of the things I would grab if my house were to ever catch on fire. It has a lot of memories.
4. My family. I don't even have enough words for how important and fabulous my family is. We are quite a strange family, with lots of quirks and abnormalities, but it works and I am so lucky to have them.
5. Books. I LOVE reading. I wish it was my job to read all day every day...while listening to music on the beach. And then I could go home and write critiques about them on my laptop. Add in a family dinner every now and then and life would be so grand. I like books because they have the ability to keep me connected to and learn about the world, while also taking me somewhere far far away from the real world. I've talked many a time about how connected I get with books and characters. It is one of my goals to have a big, ridiculous library when I settle down somewhere. I've started a mini-one already and am really quite proud.
So there you have it. The people in the book didn't go into quite so much detail, but it's my blog and I'll do it all day. What are your five things?
Oh yeah, and I've fallen down on providing song recommendations. So today's are some of my fave classical pieces:
Brandenburg Concerti by Bach (No. 3)
Egmont Overture by Beethoven
The October Sky theme
The Piano Song from Legends of the Fall
Pachelbels Canon in D
23 January 2009
Of Course
So I've been feeling a little uninspired lately. Which is weird because I'm pretty sure the rest of the country has just been bursting with inspiration lately. I don't know, I'm just not feeling it. I'm really not a very political person, nor do I really enjoying discussing deep things via blog. Basically, I was not really on board with the Obama fever that swept the nation this week. Oh man, I am going to get myself in SO much trouble for this, but I really think people are getting just a little bit out of control. GASP! I know, I clearly am going to straight to American hell. But hear me out. I think this is a VERY exciting time and I am super excited about the potential of Obama. And I think it's great that we have an African-American president. I do not, however, think Obama is going to save the entire world in four years. Nor is he going to salvage American culture (and we need some help). And you know what, I'm just going to stop there in fear of Obama fans hunting me down. But just so we're straight, Obama is great, I'm excited about his presidency. But, I think people need to realize he is not the answer to every one's problems. I guess I am just kind of nervous that people are going to be disappointed. And it makes me sad that his race is constantly being mentioned. And, I think articles like this: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/01/michelle_obama_under_fire_for.html are RIDICULOUS. People like that are why racism is never going away. Seriously, why are people so lame? Moving on, I don't feel like getting myself worked up. Also, Bella just pooped on the carpet so I need to take care of that.
Moving on...the carpet is clean. My blog is getting added to the Skirt! magazine list of blog setters. I'm kind of nervous. Mainly because most people write about important things while I mainly write about myself. It's not anything new though, as you can see in past posts. If you don't like it, stop reading. Anyways, we get a theme every month so hopefully that will inspire me to write amazingly profound and wise things. We also have to post 3-4 times a week (whoa!), so that might force me into writing about important things. We'll see. The point of my blog though is to make people laugh and think about random things. It's also a way for me to talk about whatever I want without actually having someone to listen to me.
I also think I've been kind of uninspired because there is so much negativity surrounding me these days. Nothing is being done with the arson investigation and that is SUPER frustrating. It's actually making me pretty angry. Also, one of my step brothers friends just hung himself and that just makes me so sad. One, because it is just depressing that someone is so far gone that they think killing themselves is the only thing left to do. And two, the conversations that the topic sparked just made me sad. And this weather is KILLING me. I cannot stand cold weather and it is just bringing me down. As much as I love those silly puppies, I am don't love cleaning up pee and poop constantly. And lastly, my stomach has been acting all kinds of crazy lately and it is beginning to get old.
So there you have it. I'm negative and grouchy these days. I'm hoping positivity is going to kick back in soon. I like being happy. I think those days are just around the corner, so prepare yourselves.
The Office is on! So that's a start to the trail that leads to Happyville.
Moving on...the carpet is clean. My blog is getting added to the Skirt! magazine list of blog setters. I'm kind of nervous. Mainly because most people write about important things while I mainly write about myself. It's not anything new though, as you can see in past posts. If you don't like it, stop reading. Anyways, we get a theme every month so hopefully that will inspire me to write amazingly profound and wise things. We also have to post 3-4 times a week (whoa!), so that might force me into writing about important things. We'll see. The point of my blog though is to make people laugh and think about random things. It's also a way for me to talk about whatever I want without actually having someone to listen to me.
I also think I've been kind of uninspired because there is so much negativity surrounding me these days. Nothing is being done with the arson investigation and that is SUPER frustrating. It's actually making me pretty angry. Also, one of my step brothers friends just hung himself and that just makes me so sad. One, because it is just depressing that someone is so far gone that they think killing themselves is the only thing left to do. And two, the conversations that the topic sparked just made me sad. And this weather is KILLING me. I cannot stand cold weather and it is just bringing me down. As much as I love those silly puppies, I am don't love cleaning up pee and poop constantly. And lastly, my stomach has been acting all kinds of crazy lately and it is beginning to get old.
So there you have it. I'm negative and grouchy these days. I'm hoping positivity is going to kick back in soon. I like being happy. I think those days are just around the corner, so prepare yourselves.
The Office is on! So that's a start to the trail that leads to Happyville.
21 January 2009
And They Call It Bella Notte
New foster puppies!!! And they are so so SO cute....I'll prove it:
I told you so! I know, you can hardly stand it. Me either. And I thought you couldn't get any cuter than Booger. Turns out, TWO puppies means TWICE the cuteness. And they snore! Jeez, the cuteness never ends.
This is Bella...
And this is Notte...
How great are those names? So great. Let me explain for those that the greatness is lost on. First off, they go together and that works because there are two. Also, the names are Italian and anything Italian automatically equals greatness. Except Mussolini...and Burlesconi...and maybe the mafia...but pretty much everything else works. Anyways, Bella means beautiful, which fits her, you saw her! And Notte means night, which is also so fitting because she is black! And the kicker to it all, it's the song from Lady and the Tramp, which is one of my very favorite Disney movies. There you go. The names are great. Thank you.
These puppies are pretty different from Booger. She was a little more fiesty, Bella and Notte are pretty chill. And they don't bite as much..which is good. Booger was a biting machine and it was kind of annoying, especially when she was trying to eat my toes while I was getting ready for work. However, these puppies are a little on the whiny side and are BIG time pee-ers. Seriously, they pee ALL the time. When I take them out, they will pee two or three times in the span of ten minutes. And then I'll bring them inside and they'll pee on the carpet five minutes later. It's peeing insanity. I'm hoping they will grow out of that. Either way, I'm cool with it because then they give me puppy kisses and I can no longer be upset that I have to Febreze the carpet for the third time that day. Also, they have puppy nightmares, which is both cute and disturbing. I want to just love all over them and make sure they can sleep peacefully.
In other news, I am super tired all the time. It's getting ridiculous. It's a different tired these days though. Instead of being exhausted all day at work, I'm fine at work and then I get home and just want to get in bed. Maybe it's the cold? It was mildly SNOWING today. Horrible. It didn't stick and I don't really know if it actually counts as snowing since it was really pathetic, but still...that means it's super cold and I do not like that at all.
Oh yeah, remind me to talk about the new President in my next post. I have stuff to say about the whole ordeal, but now I'm tired and want to go to bed. At 10:00. I'll leave you with my inspiration....
Ciao ciao!
I told you so! I know, you can hardly stand it. Me either. And I thought you couldn't get any cuter than Booger. Turns out, TWO puppies means TWICE the cuteness. And they snore! Jeez, the cuteness never ends.
This is Bella...
And this is Notte...
How great are those names? So great. Let me explain for those that the greatness is lost on. First off, they go together and that works because there are two. Also, the names are Italian and anything Italian automatically equals greatness. Except Mussolini...and Burlesconi...and maybe the mafia...but pretty much everything else works. Anyways, Bella means beautiful, which fits her, you saw her! And Notte means night, which is also so fitting because she is black! And the kicker to it all, it's the song from Lady and the Tramp, which is one of my very favorite Disney movies. There you go. The names are great. Thank you.These puppies are pretty different from Booger. She was a little more fiesty, Bella and Notte are pretty chill. And they don't bite as much..which is good. Booger was a biting machine and it was kind of annoying, especially when she was trying to eat my toes while I was getting ready for work. However, these puppies are a little on the whiny side and are BIG time pee-ers. Seriously, they pee ALL the time. When I take them out, they will pee two or three times in the span of ten minutes. And then I'll bring them inside and they'll pee on the carpet five minutes later. It's peeing insanity. I'm hoping they will grow out of that. Either way, I'm cool with it because then they give me puppy kisses and I can no longer be upset that I have to Febreze the carpet for the third time that day. Also, they have puppy nightmares, which is both cute and disturbing. I want to just love all over them and make sure they can sleep peacefully.
In other news, I am super tired all the time. It's getting ridiculous. It's a different tired these days though. Instead of being exhausted all day at work, I'm fine at work and then I get home and just want to get in bed. Maybe it's the cold? It was mildly SNOWING today. Horrible. It didn't stick and I don't really know if it actually counts as snowing since it was really pathetic, but still...that means it's super cold and I do not like that at all.
Oh yeah, remind me to talk about the new President in my next post. I have stuff to say about the whole ordeal, but now I'm tired and want to go to bed. At 10:00. I'll leave you with my inspiration....
Ciao ciao!
12 January 2009
Heaven on Earth
So, after an extremely uneventful weekend, I was rifling through some old computer files. I do that sometimes when I am feeling bored or nostalgic. Or, when I should be doing something else on my computer. Like now, when I should be working on my TEFL course. Anyways, so I came across this old video from my study abroad days and thought I would share. Lucky yall because it hasn't been shared ever before. Mainly because no one ever wanted to see it.
So there you go. This was literally one of the very best days of my life. I was in Greece for Spring Break with five of my study abroad friends. We rented a car and were cruising around Santorini, enjoying the beautiful weather and being awesome. The radio was kind of struggling because it was mainly people babbling in Greek or strange Greek music. But, we were flipping through the stations and my very favorite song came on! What are the freaking chances people!??! I mean, seriously, it was complete craziness. And then, to make it even MORE crazy, Laura's (the girl filming) favorite song came on after that! Which was Good Vibrations...I think. I know it was some crazy dance song like that.
I can't really explain my attachment to this song. It doesn't make any sense, even to me. But when Belinda starts up, it seriously just make me so incredibly happy. I can't stop smiling, no matter what I'm doing. And driving around in Greece, listening to a Greek radio station really just made my life. In fact, just watching the video today made me ridiculously happy even though my life kind of sucks right now. So all is well. My camera unfortunately died before we could get to the arm pump part (which is the best part), so that was kind of sad. But I'm glad I at least got some of it on camera. I'm sure you are too.
I heard the song another time in a German bar while I was in Italy. It was St. Patrick's Day and I was with some of the people I volunteered with at the soup kitchen and none of them spoke English very well. So the song came on and I got super pumped, but they didn't really understand why and I couldn't really explain it. So I just kind of looked like a fool, but whatever. One of the guys could speak English ok though, and he understood that I was trying to say that my favorite song was playing. He did not, however, understand why that was my favorite song. Very few people do understand. Actually, I have yet to meet anyone that appreciates the song like I do. His favorite song was "I'll Be Watching You" by The Police. Don't ask how I remember that.
Um, so I found the real music video for you. And holy shit, it is so incredibly awesome. No idea why I had never seen it before, but it just made the song 100 million times better for me. Please enjoy... What is going on with those creepy globe holding kids?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQahvFdQVu8
And then I found her singing it live and that is pretty awesome as well:
I am totally digging her outfit. As well as the back-up singers and the guitar playing that is rocking out hardcore.
There was also a video of Ashley Tisdale doing a remix, but I am not justifying that shit with a link. She needs to be punched in the face.
Right, so now that I've dedicated an entire post to ONE song, I think I'll call it a night. And the sad part is, I have more to say about it.
So there you go. This was literally one of the very best days of my life. I was in Greece for Spring Break with five of my study abroad friends. We rented a car and were cruising around Santorini, enjoying the beautiful weather and being awesome. The radio was kind of struggling because it was mainly people babbling in Greek or strange Greek music. But, we were flipping through the stations and my very favorite song came on! What are the freaking chances people!??! I mean, seriously, it was complete craziness. And then, to make it even MORE crazy, Laura's (the girl filming) favorite song came on after that! Which was Good Vibrations...I think. I know it was some crazy dance song like that.
I can't really explain my attachment to this song. It doesn't make any sense, even to me. But when Belinda starts up, it seriously just make me so incredibly happy. I can't stop smiling, no matter what I'm doing. And driving around in Greece, listening to a Greek radio station really just made my life. In fact, just watching the video today made me ridiculously happy even though my life kind of sucks right now. So all is well. My camera unfortunately died before we could get to the arm pump part (which is the best part), so that was kind of sad. But I'm glad I at least got some of it on camera. I'm sure you are too.
I heard the song another time in a German bar while I was in Italy. It was St. Patrick's Day and I was with some of the people I volunteered with at the soup kitchen and none of them spoke English very well. So the song came on and I got super pumped, but they didn't really understand why and I couldn't really explain it. So I just kind of looked like a fool, but whatever. One of the guys could speak English ok though, and he understood that I was trying to say that my favorite song was playing. He did not, however, understand why that was my favorite song. Very few people do understand. Actually, I have yet to meet anyone that appreciates the song like I do. His favorite song was "I'll Be Watching You" by The Police. Don't ask how I remember that.
Um, so I found the real music video for you. And holy shit, it is so incredibly awesome. No idea why I had never seen it before, but it just made the song 100 million times better for me. Please enjoy... What is going on with those creepy globe holding kids?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQahvFdQVu8
And then I found her singing it live and that is pretty awesome as well:
I am totally digging her outfit. As well as the back-up singers and the guitar playing that is rocking out hardcore.
There was also a video of Ashley Tisdale doing a remix, but I am not justifying that shit with a link. She needs to be punched in the face.
Right, so now that I've dedicated an entire post to ONE song, I think I'll call it a night. And the sad part is, I have more to say about it.
09 January 2009
Potty Mouth
People, I am freaking tired. And whiny. And irritated. SO irritated. Someone fucking BROKE INTO the new office. Seriously. What. The. Fuck. Leave us alone already! We don't think the two (the fire AND the robbery) are related, but seriously, this is getting annoying. It was especially annoying because whoever the robber was busted out the glass in the door and the stupid glass people didn't come to replace it until the end of the day. So, it just stayed open all day and it was fucking freezing all day long. And it sucked a lot because I got dressed this morning, looked at my jacket, debated on whether or not to take, and decided no. Bad decision. Ugh, it sucked so bad. And instead of being slow like we thought it was going to be, there were NON STOP people. And they were pretty much all pre-employment collections from this one company. Which is fine, I mean, whatever. But seriously, HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN THEY CONCEIVABLY HIRE? I'm guessing not 80, which they have sent our way in the last two days. Oh yeah, the robber was pretty stupid as well. He (or she..but a woman would have been smarter) stole a cheap ass Wal-Mart computer, an old ass laptop and....here's some delicious irony for you, the not yet set up security system. Awesome, right? Yes. So anyways, the whole day was just super annoying with super annoying people. There is one woman that comes all the time and I just want to bitch slap her and tell her to shut the fuck up. But I can't. And this stupid ass lady came in right at 5, which is annoying by itself, but then she doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say. I hate people like that. Here was our conversation:
...
Stupid lady: [right at 5, when we are supposed to be closed] Do I need to write down my prescription medicines on this paper? [She is talking about the sign-in sheet...like we would have people write personal shit like that on the damn sign in sheet, for everyone to see. Stupid.]
Me: [after an extremely long ass day] No ma'am. We don't need any of that information.
Stupid lady: Are you sure? Because I take some medicine that might show up in the test.
Me: No ma'am. If there are any questions about your medications, a medical review officer at the lab will get in touch with you. We don't take any of that information here. We are actually not even supposed to know that kind of information because we are not doctors.
Stupid lady: Well, I take some amphetamines for....
Me: [cutting her off] No ma'am, we don't need to know.
Stupid lady: babbles on some more her medications that I don't need to know about
Me: walks off
DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH? What part of WE DON'T NEED THAT INFORMATION did she not understand? But here's the best part, she goes back to Frank (don't EVEN get me started FRANK) and she is telling him about all her stupid medicines and is asking if he needs to know. What the HELL people. And the part that kills me the most is that every time I get mad about these horribly ridiculous, stupid, RUDE ASS people, my dad is just like, you need to chill out. NO I DON'T! I need a NEW JOB!
AAAAAGHGRRRFUCKSHITDAMNGGGRRRRRRRRRDDAAAAMMMMMNNNN.
Now, I know this post would lead you to believe that I am a very angry person. But I'm not. I'm just super tired and needed to vent. Thanks for listening. Here is something funny:
http://www.offuhuge.com/media/197962/justin_timberlake_snl_beyonce_single_ladies_video/
That shit is so funny.
Also, you know that commercial about Buzz trivia or something and he's like, turns out no one knows where a widow's peak is? Seriously? Who doesn't know that? Every time I see that, I'm like, damn! I wish I was there and I would have been the only one to know and everyone would be like, jacky, you are sooo smart! And I would be all like, oh, stop. But I would secretly love it because god knows I love being the center of attention.
...
Stupid lady: [right at 5, when we are supposed to be closed] Do I need to write down my prescription medicines on this paper? [She is talking about the sign-in sheet...like we would have people write personal shit like that on the damn sign in sheet, for everyone to see. Stupid.]
Me: [after an extremely long ass day] No ma'am. We don't need any of that information.
Stupid lady: Are you sure? Because I take some medicine that might show up in the test.
Me: No ma'am. If there are any questions about your medications, a medical review officer at the lab will get in touch with you. We don't take any of that information here. We are actually not even supposed to know that kind of information because we are not doctors.
Stupid lady: Well, I take some amphetamines for....
Me: [cutting her off] No ma'am, we don't need to know.
Stupid lady: babbles on some more her medications that I don't need to know about
Me: walks off
DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH? What part of WE DON'T NEED THAT INFORMATION did she not understand? But here's the best part, she goes back to Frank (don't EVEN get me started FRANK) and she is telling him about all her stupid medicines and is asking if he needs to know. What the HELL people. And the part that kills me the most is that every time I get mad about these horribly ridiculous, stupid, RUDE ASS people, my dad is just like, you need to chill out. NO I DON'T! I need a NEW JOB!
AAAAAGHGRRRFUCKSHITDAMNGGGRRRRRRRRRDDAAAAMMMMMNNNN.
Now, I know this post would lead you to believe that I am a very angry person. But I'm not. I'm just super tired and needed to vent. Thanks for listening. Here is something funny:
http://www.offuhuge.com/media/197962/justin_timberlake_snl_beyonce_single_ladies_video/
That shit is so funny.
Also, you know that commercial about Buzz trivia or something and he's like, turns out no one knows where a widow's peak is? Seriously? Who doesn't know that? Every time I see that, I'm like, damn! I wish I was there and I would have been the only one to know and everyone would be like, jacky, you are sooo smart! And I would be all like, oh, stop. But I would secretly love it because god knows I love being the center of attention.
06 January 2009
Well Then
My New Years Eve was super super fun. It was so nice to be with my friends. We were complete fools at the club, like always. But it was fabulous, even though I'm pretty sure the deejay thought we were morons. He did, however, play a few seconds of my very favorite song and it made me extremely happy. Sadly, I was on my way to the bathroom at the time and had to have a mini-celebration by myself before I could get back to everyone to scream in happiness. Here we are, looking fly and fun:
My straw looks like it is poking me in the boob. Naughty straw!
And then I took a picture of me and Katrina's super hot shoes.
1. Because they were so damn hot and 2. because pictures of shoes seem to be all the rage on blogger these days. I wanted to join the party. I meant to do one of my sooty shoes at the fire, but forgot. I'll do it again if I ever remember. But my shoes are boring, so I might not.
Anyways, don't really know what is going to be happening in the next couple of weeks with the pee farm, but I'll keep you posted...hahaha! Pun intended. Especially if anything pops up about the person that started the fire. I want to know and cuss the fucker out. It really just burns me up. hahaha! I know, so punny.
Ok, for real. I'll stop. Song of the post: "Something Happened on the Way to Heaven" by Phil Collins.
My straw looks like it is poking me in the boob. Naughty straw!And then I took a picture of me and Katrina's super hot shoes.
1. Because they were so damn hot and 2. because pictures of shoes seem to be all the rage on blogger these days. I wanted to join the party. I meant to do one of my sooty shoes at the fire, but forgot. I'll do it again if I ever remember. But my shoes are boring, so I might not.
Anyways, don't really know what is going to be happening in the next couple of weeks with the pee farm, but I'll keep you posted...hahaha! Pun intended. Especially if anything pops up about the person that started the fire. I want to know and cuss the fucker out. It really just burns me up. hahaha! I know, so punny.
Ok, for real. I'll stop. Song of the post: "Something Happened on the Way to Heaven" by Phil Collins.
31 December 2008
Grammar Police
So, I saw this at a bar last night. And I wanted to share. Also, I went to the bathroom in this same bar and there were a pair of boxer briefs and a pregnancy test wrapper in the trash can next to the toilet. Oh my.
Oh yeah, I found out my man Rob smokes. So we might not fall in love as planned. He is going to have to stop that first. If anyone sees him, tell him to quit. Thanks.
JACKSONVILLE TOMORROW!!! SO PUMPED :)
Happy New Year friends!
29 December 2008
Buon Natale!
That is Merry Christmas in Italian! Merry Christmas people!
I know it's late, but I was kind of busy reading the Twilight Saga, getting drunk, and driving all over the damn place these last few days. But, I hope everyone's holiday was fabulous and that Santa was good to you. He was not so fabulous to me, but it's cool...I got a few cool things. And it was awesome to have a 4 1/2 day weekend, so I'm good. But here are some pics of my super fabulous decor:
The lovely stockings, that I made. Thank you Dollar Tree
The front of the house. See the tree in the window!
My beautiful tree with it's beautiful colored lights. We had some light discrepancies in the house, but I won out. It's my house. There were also lights in the back, but the picture didn't turn out right.
So anyways, I did finish the Twilight Saga. All four of them. In three days. Wow, impressed? I know, it's more sad than anything. But like I've said before, I get really involved with whatever I'm reading and I have to finish right away. So that is what I did. So I'm not really obsessed anymore. The obsession goes away once I'm done with whatever it is I'm reading or watching. Which is good. I don't want to be one of those crazies that truly believes my future husband could potentially be a vampire and/or a wizard. Or one of those that dresses up to read the book, red contacts and all. But, I did enjoy the rest of the books...even though the main girl was pissing me off a little. But, then I remembered that she's not real, so I got over it. I did however, decide that I'm kind of in love with the guy that plays the main character in the movie, Robert Pattinson. He is easy to look at, has an English accent and seems like a nice person. I saw him on Ellen. I think we would make an excellent couple and I just need to figure out how to introduce myself. Maybe I'll go visit my friend Blakely in LA and I'll spot him and he'll spot me, and then we'll chat and then he'll see how great I am and then he'll ask me out, but I'll play hard to get, but he'll keep trying and I'll eventually give in and we'll fall in love and then I'll get to make a cameo in the next movie. Yes, I think that is what is going to happen. We both have a strong facial structure. I think we would look great together. And Kristen Stewart doesn't seem very nice, so it would be a nice change for him. And apparently he plays piano, which is great. I love piano music! We could play together, I know that viola is around here somewhere. And surely he knows 'Heart and Soul,' it's a classic. I'm pretty awesome at the melody. This is just getting better and better...for him, of course.
Back to reality, I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm so sad because my co-worker Karla is really gone and she is not coming back :( But, she is going to be a nurse in California and save lives, so I guess that is ok. But I miss her!
We are so cute.
The weather here has been INSANELY nice. It was 75 on Christmas day! Seriously, it was great. I never want it to get cold. If it does, however, I will be prepared since I got two sweaters, two pairs of gloves, and a scarf for Christmas. I will be ready for cold weather, but I would rather it stay warm. Makes me so glad I live in Charleston.
Jealous?
I took those today, DECEMBER 28h while sitting on the beach and reading. Nothing could be finer. Especially since I had just come from hanging out with my fun friends in Columbia the night before. I am lucky that I have such great friends and wish I got to see them more often. I also wish I had taken some pictures while I was with them. Silly me. I get to see more great friends on New Years and I cannot freaking WAIT! Gotta get through 2 1/2 days of work first...boo.
I have lots of other things I could ramble about, but I think I'm going to finish my 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' dvd instead. Song of the post: "I Still Ain't Over You" by Augustana.
Ciao friends.
I know it's late, but I was kind of busy reading the Twilight Saga, getting drunk, and driving all over the damn place these last few days. But, I hope everyone's holiday was fabulous and that Santa was good to you. He was not so fabulous to me, but it's cool...I got a few cool things. And it was awesome to have a 4 1/2 day weekend, so I'm good. But here are some pics of my super fabulous decor:
The lovely stockings, that I made. Thank you Dollar Tree
The front of the house. See the tree in the window!
My beautiful tree with it's beautiful colored lights. We had some light discrepancies in the house, but I won out. It's my house. There were also lights in the back, but the picture didn't turn out right.
So anyways, I did finish the Twilight Saga. All four of them. In three days. Wow, impressed? I know, it's more sad than anything. But like I've said before, I get really involved with whatever I'm reading and I have to finish right away. So that is what I did. So I'm not really obsessed anymore. The obsession goes away once I'm done with whatever it is I'm reading or watching. Which is good. I don't want to be one of those crazies that truly believes my future husband could potentially be a vampire and/or a wizard. Or one of those that dresses up to read the book, red contacts and all. But, I did enjoy the rest of the books...even though the main girl was pissing me off a little. But, then I remembered that she's not real, so I got over it. I did however, decide that I'm kind of in love with the guy that plays the main character in the movie, Robert Pattinson. He is easy to look at, has an English accent and seems like a nice person. I saw him on Ellen. I think we would make an excellent couple and I just need to figure out how to introduce myself. Maybe I'll go visit my friend Blakely in LA and I'll spot him and he'll spot me, and then we'll chat and then he'll see how great I am and then he'll ask me out, but I'll play hard to get, but he'll keep trying and I'll eventually give in and we'll fall in love and then I'll get to make a cameo in the next movie. Yes, I think that is what is going to happen. We both have a strong facial structure. I think we would look great together. And Kristen Stewart doesn't seem very nice, so it would be a nice change for him. And apparently he plays piano, which is great. I love piano music! We could play together, I know that viola is around here somewhere. And surely he knows 'Heart and Soul,' it's a classic. I'm pretty awesome at the melody. This is just getting better and better...for him, of course.
Back to reality, I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm so sad because my co-worker Karla is really gone and she is not coming back :( But, she is going to be a nurse in California and save lives, so I guess that is ok. But I miss her!
We are so cute.
The weather here has been INSANELY nice. It was 75 on Christmas day! Seriously, it was great. I never want it to get cold. If it does, however, I will be prepared since I got two sweaters, two pairs of gloves, and a scarf for Christmas. I will be ready for cold weather, but I would rather it stay warm. Makes me so glad I live in Charleston.
Jealous?
I took those today, DECEMBER 28h while sitting on the beach and reading. Nothing could be finer. Especially since I had just come from hanging out with my fun friends in Columbia the night before. I am lucky that I have such great friends and wish I got to see them more often. I also wish I had taken some pictures while I was with them. Silly me. I get to see more great friends on New Years and I cannot freaking WAIT! Gotta get through 2 1/2 days of work first...boo.
I have lots of other things I could ramble about, but I think I'm going to finish my 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' dvd instead. Song of the post: "I Still Ain't Over You" by Augustana.
Ciao friends.
24 December 2008
Obsessed
Just a quickie to tell you about my new obsessions. And by obsessions, I mean, I cannot get enough of this crap. It's kind of extreme.
First up, Eric Hutchinson. The song "Rock and Roll" is so beyond fabulous, I can't even stand it. It seriously is like, happiness in a song. I get ridiculously happy listening to it. And even more happy when I can dance to it. I bought his CD today and it might be the best purchase I've ever made. I rarely buy CDs, but the few I've bought recently have worked out really well for me, so I thought I'd give it another try. Here is the video for you to enjoy....Feel free to dance and smile excessively.
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I mean, he looks like such a goober, but he's still super cute. I'd totally do him. Haha...um, for real.
Next obsession...Twilight. Like, seriously, it's bad. I started reading it today at work and I'm pretty sure I'll be done with it by tonight. I've always had this freakish ability to read extremely fast, but I'm kind of out of control with this. And I was totally one of those haters when the movie came out and was like, what is with these crazy asses? But now I understand. I also need one of those crazy asses to go see it with me...which might be a problem. Fingers crossed. And yes, I've already bought the second one and am saving up for the third.
Not an obsession, but I've decided I really like Pink...the artist. She just rocks my face off and this video is so funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bNDr1A6dTU
And, I know all about dealing with tools, so I can totally relate to this song. I love it. And Pink is just like, a total badass, like myself. So it's nice to have company.
CHRISTMAS IS SO SOON! As soon as I finish reading Twilight, I am going to take pictures of my fabulous Christmas lights so I can share them with you, dear readers. Get excited!
That is really all I wanted to share. I felt like I should get my new obsessions out there since I'm so pleased with them. I was also excited about them because they got my mind off other, less important things that have been sneaking back in lately. Hooray for distractions!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Love to all :)
First up, Eric Hutchinson. The song "Rock and Roll" is so beyond fabulous, I can't even stand it. It seriously is like, happiness in a song. I get ridiculously happy listening to it. And even more happy when I can dance to it. I bought his CD today and it might be the best purchase I've ever made. I rarely buy CDs, but the few I've bought recently have worked out really well for me, so I thought I'd give it another try. Here is the video for you to enjoy....Feel free to dance and smile excessively.
">
I mean, he looks like such a goober, but he's still super cute. I'd totally do him. Haha...um, for real.
Next obsession...Twilight. Like, seriously, it's bad. I started reading it today at work and I'm pretty sure I'll be done with it by tonight. I've always had this freakish ability to read extremely fast, but I'm kind of out of control with this. And I was totally one of those haters when the movie came out and was like, what is with these crazy asses? But now I understand. I also need one of those crazy asses to go see it with me...which might be a problem. Fingers crossed. And yes, I've already bought the second one and am saving up for the third.
Not an obsession, but I've decided I really like Pink...the artist. She just rocks my face off and this video is so funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bNDr1A6dTU
And, I know all about dealing with tools, so I can totally relate to this song. I love it. And Pink is just like, a total badass, like myself. So it's nice to have company.
CHRISTMAS IS SO SOON! As soon as I finish reading Twilight, I am going to take pictures of my fabulous Christmas lights so I can share them with you, dear readers. Get excited!
That is really all I wanted to share. I felt like I should get my new obsessions out there since I'm so pleased with them. I was also excited about them because they got my mind off other, less important things that have been sneaking back in lately. Hooray for distractions!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Love to all :)
18 December 2008
She's a Bad Mama Jama
And by she, I mean me. Cause I am.
I also just stabbed myself with a pen at work and it hurts pretty bad. No good.
So I just read this book, "The Friday Nigh Knitting Club," and I was freaking obsessed with it. It's almost scary. I tend to get really involved with books and movies, basically anything made up that I can relate to my own life. Which is a lot of stuff. Songs as well..but we've already discussed that. Anyways, even though it was about knitting and I don't even know how to knit, nor do I have any desire too, I just felt like I could relate to the story of the main character...in a very basic way. Basically, she falls in love for the first time, gets pregnant, guy leaves her, but she never really gets over him even though he sucks, then he comes back 12 years later because he realized his stupidity and it goes from there. Hell no, I'm not preggers, but I do think someone is going to regret some of their actions one day. I could be wrong. I also think this idea would be easier to explain in person. And people that don't really know me might not understand. But anyways, just to kind of drive it home, the guy is black and the woman is white..and has curly brown hair. So yeah, kind of weird. However, I certainly hope my story doesn't end like hers does. I won't give it all away...you should read it. But try to control yourself and not get freakishly attached. I found out there is a sequel and I'm like, I MUST read this book to find out what happened to these non-existent people. I MUST.
Speaking of bad mama jama's...Sarah's party was rocking and I had a super fabulous time. Her new car is freakin sweet and it has plenty of places to store a small baby, which I'm jealous of, because my car is kind of lacking in that area. You know, just in case I ever decide to store a premature baby in my glove compartment. Stupid facebook won't let me upload the pics. But I'm working on it. Here is one to hold you over: Go Hose!
It's almost Christmas!!! Yay! I can't believe it's next week! This year flew by crazy fast...borderline scary. But good, I think 2009 is going to be some good things my way. Well, I hope 2008 brings good things first. Like a new iPod. The one I have now is the mini and it is just kind of sad and I really really want a new one so I can be cool and put all my music on it and not just a measly 1000 songs. Plus they don't even make minis anymore so I look like a total lame- o busting that thing out. I'm hoping I'm on Santa's nice list/my mom decides to splurge and actually get me something I want this year. ::Fingers crossed::
I've been doing a lot of babysitting this week and have been reminded why I don't want to have children. A little girl told me today my nose ring was nasty (rings are for your fingers) and the brother told me he liked his new soccer coach better than me. Thank you kids, really. And the kids on Tuesday were horrible and I literally had to scream at them to get them to do anything. Such punks.
OH. New fantastic website ---> http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/
So. funny. And song of the post: "Clothes Off!" by Gym Class Heroes and the prude version that inspired it-"We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart. Both fabulous.
Ta-ta for now people. Enjoy your days off, if you get them. I get 2. I'll see you back here soon. Ciao ciao :)
I also just stabbed myself with a pen at work and it hurts pretty bad. No good.
So I just read this book, "The Friday Nigh Knitting Club," and I was freaking obsessed with it. It's almost scary. I tend to get really involved with books and movies, basically anything made up that I can relate to my own life. Which is a lot of stuff. Songs as well..but we've already discussed that. Anyways, even though it was about knitting and I don't even know how to knit, nor do I have any desire too, I just felt like I could relate to the story of the main character...in a very basic way. Basically, she falls in love for the first time, gets pregnant, guy leaves her, but she never really gets over him even though he sucks, then he comes back 12 years later because he realized his stupidity and it goes from there. Hell no, I'm not preggers, but I do think someone is going to regret some of their actions one day. I could be wrong. I also think this idea would be easier to explain in person. And people that don't really know me might not understand. But anyways, just to kind of drive it home, the guy is black and the woman is white..and has curly brown hair. So yeah, kind of weird. However, I certainly hope my story doesn't end like hers does. I won't give it all away...you should read it. But try to control yourself and not get freakishly attached. I found out there is a sequel and I'm like, I MUST read this book to find out what happened to these non-existent people. I MUST.
Speaking of bad mama jama's...Sarah's party was rocking and I had a super fabulous time. Her new car is freakin sweet and it has plenty of places to store a small baby, which I'm jealous of, because my car is kind of lacking in that area. You know, just in case I ever decide to store a premature baby in my glove compartment. Stupid facebook won't let me upload the pics. But I'm working on it. Here is one to hold you over: Go Hose!
It's almost Christmas!!! Yay! I can't believe it's next week! This year flew by crazy fast...borderline scary. But good, I think 2009 is going to be some good things my way. Well, I hope 2008 brings good things first. Like a new iPod. The one I have now is the mini and it is just kind of sad and I really really want a new one so I can be cool and put all my music on it and not just a measly 1000 songs. Plus they don't even make minis anymore so I look like a total lame- o busting that thing out. I'm hoping I'm on Santa's nice list/my mom decides to splurge and actually get me something I want this year. ::Fingers crossed::
I've been doing a lot of babysitting this week and have been reminded why I don't want to have children. A little girl told me today my nose ring was nasty (rings are for your fingers) and the brother told me he liked his new soccer coach better than me. Thank you kids, really. And the kids on Tuesday were horrible and I literally had to scream at them to get them to do anything. Such punks.
OH. New fantastic website ---> http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/
So. funny. And song of the post: "Clothes Off!" by Gym Class Heroes and the prude version that inspired it-"We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart. Both fabulous.
Ta-ta for now people. Enjoy your days off, if you get them. I get 2. I'll see you back here soon. Ciao ciao :)
11 December 2008
Loo Dee Doo
Hm, so even though everything that was keeping me super busy is over, I still feel like I have no time to do anything. And by anything, I mean put up Christmas decorations. I don't know what my problem is, but I cannot get them up (that's what she said) and it is making me like, anxious. I don't know...Christmas is soon and I just feel like my house is not festive enough! Right now we have some really pathetic looking front lights and a stocking. It's really sad. We are waiting on a tree stand that my mom has somewhere for us until we actually get a tree. But I want it NOW!
Anyways, other than my Christmas decorating anxiety, things are good. Last weekend was a crazy one. Good, but just a lot of stuff packed into two days. My All Stars soccer team went to the championship in Rock Hill and sadly, we lost both games. They played really well and we had a good time, so it wasn't a total waste. The first games SUCKED though because the ref was horrible and didn't make some pretty important calls. For instance, when my player was going after the ball in the box and the keeper had his armed wrapped around my players legs, severely restricting his range of motion. Yeah, that's not allowed. So, we went into overtime and then had to do PKs and we lost 3-2. PKs are the WORST way to lose. It was sad times. Then we sucked it up big time in the second game and lost 0-1. I think everyone was just like, whatever, 3rd is just as bad as 4th, who cares. But like, I said, it was fun and I had a good time. Except when I was driving there with three kids in my car and I got a speeding ticket. That was super not fun. And embarrassing. On a happy note, please look at my goober team and all their goober faces. They really were a lot of fun:
So soccer was Saturday and after a 6 hour round trip road trip, I was freaking exhausted and went to bed at 9:30. I know, on a Saturday. So sad. But, I did have to get up at 6:30 the next morning and go get my eggs retrieved! So yeah, that was kind of exciting because now I have money (to pay my speeding ticket) AND some lucky lady gets to get pregnant and have a little baby that has my genes and will therefore be awesome.
FYI, putting up Christmas lights is hard as shit. My roommate and I attempted it tonight and they are struggling big time. And we tried so damn hard! Sad times. Whatever, everything will be better when we get the tree.
Oh, oh, oh! Here is my new song: "The Whole World Should Revolve Around Me." And GUESS who it is by....LITTLE JACKIE! I know, I KNOW. So freaking perfect. Seriously, this band and song made my LIFE today. First off, I was known as "little jacky" in Rome because there were 6 Jackie(y)s in my program, so we all had a different adjective. Jew Jackie, Boston Jackie, Goth Jackie, Soccer Mom Jackie, The Other Jackie (no one really knew anything about her), and then me, Little Jacky..or sometimes Southern Jacky. So I'm pretty sure the band heard about the AIFS that had 6 Jackies, decided I was by far the coolest one and named their band after me. Anyways, I was in my car and the radio shows the name of the artist and song and the artist popped up and I was like, heck yes, that's me! Then the name of the song came and I was like, FUCK YES! And the song is fabulous and is officially my new anthem. Because, seriously, the whole world SHOULD revolve around me. I'm awesome and have super great ideas about EVERYTHING. Not to mention I am extremely efficient and organized and IF the world revolved around ME it was be that way as well...not all chaotic and crazy. So there you go. Download and enjoy.
And lastly, boys are so dumb. For real. Sometimes the stuff that comes out of their mouths, I'm just like what? I don't understand how some of them have made it as far as they did. I won't go into details with the latest story but it involves bicycles, crab cakes and talking to my very drunk father. Wtf.
Anyways, other than my Christmas decorating anxiety, things are good. Last weekend was a crazy one. Good, but just a lot of stuff packed into two days. My All Stars soccer team went to the championship in Rock Hill and sadly, we lost both games. They played really well and we had a good time, so it wasn't a total waste. The first games SUCKED though because the ref was horrible and didn't make some pretty important calls. For instance, when my player was going after the ball in the box and the keeper had his armed wrapped around my players legs, severely restricting his range of motion. Yeah, that's not allowed. So, we went into overtime and then had to do PKs and we lost 3-2. PKs are the WORST way to lose. It was sad times. Then we sucked it up big time in the second game and lost 0-1. I think everyone was just like, whatever, 3rd is just as bad as 4th, who cares. But like, I said, it was fun and I had a good time. Except when I was driving there with three kids in my car and I got a speeding ticket. That was super not fun. And embarrassing. On a happy note, please look at my goober team and all their goober faces. They really were a lot of fun:
So soccer was Saturday and after a 6 hour round trip road trip, I was freaking exhausted and went to bed at 9:30. I know, on a Saturday. So sad. But, I did have to get up at 6:30 the next morning and go get my eggs retrieved! So yeah, that was kind of exciting because now I have money (to pay my speeding ticket) AND some lucky lady gets to get pregnant and have a little baby that has my genes and will therefore be awesome.
FYI, putting up Christmas lights is hard as shit. My roommate and I attempted it tonight and they are struggling big time. And we tried so damn hard! Sad times. Whatever, everything will be better when we get the tree.
Oh, oh, oh! Here is my new song: "The Whole World Should Revolve Around Me." And GUESS who it is by....LITTLE JACKIE! I know, I KNOW. So freaking perfect. Seriously, this band and song made my LIFE today. First off, I was known as "little jacky" in Rome because there were 6 Jackie(y)s in my program, so we all had a different adjective. Jew Jackie, Boston Jackie, Goth Jackie, Soccer Mom Jackie, The Other Jackie (no one really knew anything about her), and then me, Little Jacky..or sometimes Southern Jacky. So I'm pretty sure the band heard about the AIFS that had 6 Jackies, decided I was by far the coolest one and named their band after me. Anyways, I was in my car and the radio shows the name of the artist and song and the artist popped up and I was like, heck yes, that's me! Then the name of the song came and I was like, FUCK YES! And the song is fabulous and is officially my new anthem. Because, seriously, the whole world SHOULD revolve around me. I'm awesome and have super great ideas about EVERYTHING. Not to mention I am extremely efficient and organized and IF the world revolved around ME it was be that way as well...not all chaotic and crazy. So there you go. Download and enjoy.
And lastly, boys are so dumb. For real. Sometimes the stuff that comes out of their mouths, I'm just like what? I don't understand how some of them have made it as far as they did. I won't go into details with the latest story but it involves bicycles, crab cakes and talking to my very drunk father. Wtf.
02 December 2008
Keep On Smilin'
That is what was on the back of a dump truck this morning as I drove to work. I enjoyed it, and thought I would pass it on to you, my loyal readers. Even though I'm beginning to think no one actually reads this because I never get any feedback. No matter, I still entertain myself so all is well. Hey self! You're awesome!
So yeah, speaking of my drive to work..it was a crazy one this morning. First off, I was up at 4:45. Yes, AM. It was horrible. We had to drug test a school at 6 this morning. Why we can't test them at 10 or some reasonable time, I don't know. Anywho, after that I had to drive from downtown to James Island, then back to Mt. Pleasant (this probably means nothing to any of you, but its kind of a trek) and then back to North Charleston. I had to go back for an egg appointment (it's getting close!) and then back to work. Point is, I got stuck in crazy traffic on the interstate and it turns out there was an accident involving like, seven cars and a washer and dryer. Obviously, something horrible happened, and for some sick reason I really want to know what. I always want to know what the deal is with accidents I pass. And I especially want to know how a washer and dryer were involved with this particular one. I know, so weird. But anyways, that is when I saw the 'Keep On Smilin' dump truck. I feel like times are really tough when garbage trucks are dishing out encouraging comments. At least it wasn't telling me Jesus loves me or something stupid like that.
So, aside from my ridiculous morning, my Thanksgiving break was fantastic, thanks for asking. My family is completely crazy, but in a completely fabulous way. Almost the entire crew was up in North Carolina and it was a madhouse. I think it was around 25 people, plus two dogs...and a shit ton of food. We went a hayride, did some shopping, ate lots of food, built a bonfire and watched every single college football game that was on TV. And even called the cable company to yell about some games that weren't. I seriously don't understand how boys are SO involved with football. Between all the men that were there, they probably knew every coach and player, plus all their statistics from the last 20 years. For all the teams too, not just their favorite team. I was kind of impressed. But I was also kind of like, get a life. Learn something useful. Like how to be a red power ranger...like my youngest cousin Tate. He taught me some pretty sweet ranger moves that I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate into my every day life. I could have used them today on the freaking bitch ass woman that came to the pee farm. She was so rude to me! But, don't worry..I told her she didn't have to be so rude. So then she told me I shouldn't work with the public if I was going to have such a bad attitude and that she was going to call the manager tomorrow and complain about me. So then I told her, oh really? Because I am the manager. BAM. In your face bitch. She then said surely there was someone over me she could speak to. I said, sure thing, here is his number. Then I told my dad (aka the person over me) about the whole incident and he was like, wtf? Stupid DSS people,shut the hell up. So yeah, she got shut down. I digress. Here are pictures of my family and Power Ranger Tate:
Holy crap, getting at 4:45 makes you TIRED. To bed for me. But here is my song of the post (I've been slacking, I know): "The Promise" by Tracy Chapman. I'm going to go ahead and give more since I've missed a few:
"Sexylove" by Ne-Yo
"Stranded" by Van Morrison
"Black Sheep" by Martin Sexton
Ok, ciao ciao!
So yeah, speaking of my drive to work..it was a crazy one this morning. First off, I was up at 4:45. Yes, AM. It was horrible. We had to drug test a school at 6 this morning. Why we can't test them at 10 or some reasonable time, I don't know. Anywho, after that I had to drive from downtown to James Island, then back to Mt. Pleasant (this probably means nothing to any of you, but its kind of a trek) and then back to North Charleston. I had to go back for an egg appointment (it's getting close!) and then back to work. Point is, I got stuck in crazy traffic on the interstate and it turns out there was an accident involving like, seven cars and a washer and dryer. Obviously, something horrible happened, and for some sick reason I really want to know what. I always want to know what the deal is with accidents I pass. And I especially want to know how a washer and dryer were involved with this particular one. I know, so weird. But anyways, that is when I saw the 'Keep On Smilin' dump truck. I feel like times are really tough when garbage trucks are dishing out encouraging comments. At least it wasn't telling me Jesus loves me or something stupid like that.
So, aside from my ridiculous morning, my Thanksgiving break was fantastic, thanks for asking. My family is completely crazy, but in a completely fabulous way. Almost the entire crew was up in North Carolina and it was a madhouse. I think it was around 25 people, plus two dogs...and a shit ton of food. We went a hayride, did some shopping, ate lots of food, built a bonfire and watched every single college football game that was on TV. And even called the cable company to yell about some games that weren't. I seriously don't understand how boys are SO involved with football. Between all the men that were there, they probably knew every coach and player, plus all their statistics from the last 20 years. For all the teams too, not just their favorite team. I was kind of impressed. But I was also kind of like, get a life. Learn something useful. Like how to be a red power ranger...like my youngest cousin Tate. He taught me some pretty sweet ranger moves that I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate into my every day life. I could have used them today on the freaking bitch ass woman that came to the pee farm. She was so rude to me! But, don't worry..I told her she didn't have to be so rude. So then she told me I shouldn't work with the public if I was going to have such a bad attitude and that she was going to call the manager tomorrow and complain about me. So then I told her, oh really? Because I am the manager. BAM. In your face bitch. She then said surely there was someone over me she could speak to. I said, sure thing, here is his number. Then I told my dad (aka the person over me) about the whole incident and he was like, wtf? Stupid DSS people,shut the hell up. So yeah, she got shut down. I digress. Here are pictures of my family and Power Ranger Tate:
Holy crap, getting at 4:45 makes you TIRED. To bed for me. But here is my song of the post (I've been slacking, I know): "The Promise" by Tracy Chapman. I'm going to go ahead and give more since I've missed a few:
"Sexylove" by Ne-Yo
"Stranded" by Van Morrison
"Black Sheep" by Martin Sexton
Ok, ciao ciao!
25 November 2008
what does it mean when your puppy has soft poop?
Bahahaha, the title is what my computer prompted when I typed in a "w." I don't even remember now what my real title was going to be, but whatever...that one is staying. Of all things to stay in its memory. I was concerned about Booger and her soft stool, apparently. But, no worries...everything was ok. Oh, and I went to visit Booger last Friday at the shelter. She had just gotten spayed, so she was looking a little out of it. Also, she peed on me. But that was because she was so excited to see me and missed me a lot. Anyways, she got put up for adoption this weekend so fingers crossed she went to a good, loving home. One that knows what it means when their puppy has soft poop.
Moving on. Oh man, shit is going DOWN at the pee farm these days! For real, things are getting serious up in this piece. First up, we have shady man. So this mom brings in her kid for a DNA test like, 6 months ago. The "alleged father" never shows. Kid retakes the test 3 months later...AF doesn't show. He FINALLY comes and the test comes back negative. Upset mom comes in...turns out, the REAL AF sent in a decoy! He sent someone else to take the test for him! How crazy is that?! Then, he comes back wanting test results! Uh, no sir! What a sleaze ball! Not sure what's going to happen with that, but people are seriously crazy. And I'm pretty positive that is not legal behavior, so who knows what is going to happen to him. So, for another crazy...woman comes because her work wants her to get tested. She has been acting all wonky (isn't that a great word?!) and they think she's on drugs. She comes in, offers the boss a BRIBE to make the test come out negative! So, obviously bitch is doing something illegal. She says she can give him more money than he can imagine! HAHAHA! For real? You have that much money? Then why do you have a job? Retire and go live in the Bahamas if you have access to that much money! Crazy ASS! So, obviously he does not accept the bribe and apparently the lady (she was a nurse) quits her job and then was demanding that we not send her former employer the results. That's not happening. But here is the best part...crazy bitch came back negative anyways! Bet she feels stupid. Oh, and she brought her mom in with her to try and execute the bribe. I love it. My mom would have slapped my ass to the floor SO fast if I did shit like that. Seriously. Like lightning.
Other exciting news. I sent in a cake wreck and here I am: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/11/fall-fumbles.html
Jacquelyn G....that's me! I found it when I was visiting Jean at the local Food Lion. I know, good stuff right. So I'm pretty much famous. You all can say you knew me back before I got all big and hotshot...which will be any day now.
Also, my All Star team was second in the tournament we played in, so that means we are going to the state championship! How about Saturday was miserable and FREEZING but we still pulled out the win (9-0, thank you!) and so off we go to Rock Hill. I mean, I don't really know what is going on since we have no schedule and I haven't figured out how we're all getting there or where we're staying and it's in two weeks....but whatever, we're going. My team is the only U17 that made it. And I have to say, it's all in the coaching. That is what my supervisor (who is super cute and I have a crush on his voice...and him..but mainly his voice) tells me. When you win, it's all in the coaching. When you lose, it's the players fault. Sigh. I wish I had game off the field and could score with the supervisor. OHHHHH...how you like those puns? I love them, thanks.
So soccer consumed my Saturday. And then Sunday I did nothing. Literally. Nothing. Driving to my moms for dinner was the most effort I exerted all day. Because then I got there and did nothing. It was a waste of day. In more ways than one.
Lastly, HOORAY for Christmas season! I mean, it's close enough. I don't officially get in the Christmas spirit until after Thanksgiving...it's only right, Thanksgiving deserves some attention too. BUT, it's almost here and that means Christmas music, yay! Christmas lights, YAY! Christmas presents, woo hoo! And best of all, PEPPERMINT ICE CREAM! Omg, my FAVE! It only comes out around Christmas and it is probably my number one favorite thing to eat. But it does also mean cold weather and that gets a big fat BOOOO. I know, always gotta be Debbie Downer. We'll focus on the positive...we're getting a Christmas tree next week! Hip, hip HOORAY!
Moving on. Oh man, shit is going DOWN at the pee farm these days! For real, things are getting serious up in this piece. First up, we have shady man. So this mom brings in her kid for a DNA test like, 6 months ago. The "alleged father" never shows. Kid retakes the test 3 months later...AF doesn't show. He FINALLY comes and the test comes back negative. Upset mom comes in...turns out, the REAL AF sent in a decoy! He sent someone else to take the test for him! How crazy is that?! Then, he comes back wanting test results! Uh, no sir! What a sleaze ball! Not sure what's going to happen with that, but people are seriously crazy. And I'm pretty positive that is not legal behavior, so who knows what is going to happen to him. So, for another crazy...woman comes because her work wants her to get tested. She has been acting all wonky (isn't that a great word?!) and they think she's on drugs. She comes in, offers the boss a BRIBE to make the test come out negative! So, obviously bitch is doing something illegal. She says she can give him more money than he can imagine! HAHAHA! For real? You have that much money? Then why do you have a job? Retire and go live in the Bahamas if you have access to that much money! Crazy ASS! So, obviously he does not accept the bribe and apparently the lady (she was a nurse) quits her job and then was demanding that we not send her former employer the results. That's not happening. But here is the best part...crazy bitch came back negative anyways! Bet she feels stupid. Oh, and she brought her mom in with her to try and execute the bribe. I love it. My mom would have slapped my ass to the floor SO fast if I did shit like that. Seriously. Like lightning.
Other exciting news. I sent in a cake wreck and here I am: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/11/fall-fumbles.html
Jacquelyn G....that's me! I found it when I was visiting Jean at the local Food Lion. I know, good stuff right. So I'm pretty much famous. You all can say you knew me back before I got all big and hotshot...which will be any day now.
Also, my All Star team was second in the tournament we played in, so that means we are going to the state championship! How about Saturday was miserable and FREEZING but we still pulled out the win (9-0, thank you!) and so off we go to Rock Hill. I mean, I don't really know what is going on since we have no schedule and I haven't figured out how we're all getting there or where we're staying and it's in two weeks....but whatever, we're going. My team is the only U17 that made it. And I have to say, it's all in the coaching. That is what my supervisor (who is super cute and I have a crush on his voice...and him..but mainly his voice) tells me. When you win, it's all in the coaching. When you lose, it's the players fault. Sigh. I wish I had game off the field and could score with the supervisor. OHHHHH...how you like those puns? I love them, thanks.
So soccer consumed my Saturday. And then Sunday I did nothing. Literally. Nothing. Driving to my moms for dinner was the most effort I exerted all day. Because then I got there and did nothing. It was a waste of day. In more ways than one.
Lastly, HOORAY for Christmas season! I mean, it's close enough. I don't officially get in the Christmas spirit until after Thanksgiving...it's only right, Thanksgiving deserves some attention too. BUT, it's almost here and that means Christmas music, yay! Christmas lights, YAY! Christmas presents, woo hoo! And best of all, PEPPERMINT ICE CREAM! Omg, my FAVE! It only comes out around Christmas and it is probably my number one favorite thing to eat. But it does also mean cold weather and that gets a big fat BOOOO. I know, always gotta be Debbie Downer. We'll focus on the positive...we're getting a Christmas tree next week! Hip, hip HOORAY!
18 November 2008
11 November 2008
I'm not alone
Another roller coaster of a weekend.
So, every now and again, I think to myself, self, wtf are you thinking? Because sometimes, I think I'm crazy. I think, I cannot possibly be normal 23 year old and there is no way anyone else is as ridiculous as me. But, then, sometimes, I find out I am, in fact, NOT the only person that thinks a certain way. There are lots of crazies out there! Don't get me wrong, I know I am still unique and valuable (thank you high school health teacher), and there is no one quite like me...but there are people that think similar thoughts as myself. Such as this person's thoughts on having kids, that I found on wwtdd.com:
"Why on earth do people have kids? By all outward appearances, they’re nothing but one endless terrifying drama after another, a constant drain on your wallet, your social life and your peace and quiet. Have a kid and your life just became 100 million times harder. You might as well have chopped off one of your feet. Are they cute? Not really, not to anyone but you, but if that’s all you want get a dog and then fold a pirate hat out of some newspaper. There. Ta-da."
That's what I'm screaming! Couldn't have said it better myself!
And then there's this thought....
…four unmistakable signs that you’re getting old(er)
1. doing absolutely nothing…and loving it
when you’re young, if you happen to spend a weekend night in the crib, you usually spend the whole time wondering and fantasizing to death about all of the marvelous and slutty things other people your age are doing at the time. by the time i turned 26, i’d mutter “i should have stayed my ass at home” at least once during at least 75 percent of my outings.
now, i make up excuses not to go out.
“naw man, i’m good. sportscenter highlights are always better when rece davis is the anchor, and he’s scheduled to appear on tonight's show. i can’t miss that sh*t”
Yessssss. I love it! I make up excuses too! Usually not involving sportscenter highlights, but something along those lines. Honestly, I just really like sleeping more than drinking. It's warmer, less expensive and less hazardous to my health. Also, I get to wear comfier clothes and don't have to ward off sketch balls hitting on me. It's fabulous. However, I did actually dress up and go out on the town this Saturday and had myself a very successful and fun evening. I won't go into details...a lady doesn't kiss and tell. Haha, that's a lie..I tell everything..but I am classy enough to not give it all away online. And I didn't pay for a drink all night! I did have to ward off some sketch balls though. You can't win em all.
And going back to me being crazy...I know I'm a little on the strange side..but all I have to do is sign onto facebook or hit up a club...or go to work and I remember there are people FAR crazier than I. First off, what is UP with people putting up "model" photo shoot albums. No one wants to see 40 pictures of just YOU. It's lame when they are "professionally" done (I mean, "professionally" can encompass a wide variety of levels), but it is especially lame when you have taken all the pictures yourself....with your phone. Some people need life coaches. And I am fully aware that I am obsessed with Booger and put up lots of videos and photos...but she is at least SUPER cute. A lot of these people taking model pictures are not cute. At all.
Speaking of Booger. I had to give her back today. :( :( :( :( :( Sooooo sad. Apparently you just foster them until they are big enough to stay in the kennel with the other dogs. So yeah, that was depressing. But kind of good I guess. I ran out of dog food today. Also, she peed in my bed last night and I've had just about enough of that nonsense. But, I am still super sad. This is worse than being dumped...Booger actually loved me back. I will be posting a tribute photo montage later. We can mourn together. Or you can roll your eyes at the excessiveness. Whatever floats your boat.
All Star soccer has officially taken over my life. I had to do something soccer related 5 days out of the week last week, and six this week. Complete ridiculousness. But, I think we are pretty good. So things should at least be exciting once the games start. Did I mention we are playing at the air force base? That means everyone has to be cleared to get on base. As in, I had to submit a list of names of people that are coming to the game so the military could run background checks on everyone coming. CRAZY.
And lastly, you know that commercial for AllState Insurance that has the family in court and they lose and they're all sad and the other guy is like, we'll get all their money! Yes? I looked for it on YouTube, but couldn't find it, so if you don't know, just watch TV until it comes on. Anyways, every time I see that commercial I get irritated because I realllly want to know the story behind it! I mean, what happened??!?! Was the kid drinking and driving? Is he underage? He's not cute, so I am not really all that interested in him, but I do want to know why the other man is so bitter and money hungry. Is he poor? Was a loved one killed by the ugly boy? Was his car totaled? What is going on AllState?!? I don't think I'll ever find out, with it not being real and all. So sad.
Ok, well be ready for the photo montage. I know I'm excited!
So, every now and again, I think to myself, self, wtf are you thinking? Because sometimes, I think I'm crazy. I think, I cannot possibly be normal 23 year old and there is no way anyone else is as ridiculous as me. But, then, sometimes, I find out I am, in fact, NOT the only person that thinks a certain way. There are lots of crazies out there! Don't get me wrong, I know I am still unique and valuable (thank you high school health teacher), and there is no one quite like me...but there are people that think similar thoughts as myself. Such as this person's thoughts on having kids, that I found on wwtdd.com:
"Why on earth do people have kids? By all outward appearances, they’re nothing but one endless terrifying drama after another, a constant drain on your wallet, your social life and your peace and quiet. Have a kid and your life just became 100 million times harder. You might as well have chopped off one of your feet. Are they cute? Not really, not to anyone but you, but if that’s all you want get a dog and then fold a pirate hat out of some newspaper. There. Ta-da."
That's what I'm screaming! Couldn't have said it better myself!
And then there's this thought....
…four unmistakable signs that you’re getting old(er)
1. doing absolutely nothing…and loving it
when you’re young, if you happen to spend a weekend night in the crib, you usually spend the whole time wondering and fantasizing to death about all of the marvelous and slutty things other people your age are doing at the time. by the time i turned 26, i’d mutter “i should have stayed my ass at home” at least once during at least 75 percent of my outings.
now, i make up excuses not to go out.
“naw man, i’m good. sportscenter highlights are always better when rece davis is the anchor, and he’s scheduled to appear on tonight's show. i can’t miss that sh*t”
Yessssss. I love it! I make up excuses too! Usually not involving sportscenter highlights, but something along those lines. Honestly, I just really like sleeping more than drinking. It's warmer, less expensive and less hazardous to my health. Also, I get to wear comfier clothes and don't have to ward off sketch balls hitting on me. It's fabulous. However, I did actually dress up and go out on the town this Saturday and had myself a very successful and fun evening. I won't go into details...a lady doesn't kiss and tell. Haha, that's a lie..I tell everything..but I am classy enough to not give it all away online. And I didn't pay for a drink all night! I did have to ward off some sketch balls though. You can't win em all.
And going back to me being crazy...I know I'm a little on the strange side..but all I have to do is sign onto facebook or hit up a club...or go to work and I remember there are people FAR crazier than I. First off, what is UP with people putting up "model" photo shoot albums. No one wants to see 40 pictures of just YOU. It's lame when they are "professionally" done (I mean, "professionally" can encompass a wide variety of levels), but it is especially lame when you have taken all the pictures yourself....with your phone. Some people need life coaches. And I am fully aware that I am obsessed with Booger and put up lots of videos and photos...but she is at least SUPER cute. A lot of these people taking model pictures are not cute. At all.
Speaking of Booger. I had to give her back today. :( :( :( :( :( Sooooo sad. Apparently you just foster them until they are big enough to stay in the kennel with the other dogs. So yeah, that was depressing. But kind of good I guess. I ran out of dog food today. Also, she peed in my bed last night and I've had just about enough of that nonsense. But, I am still super sad. This is worse than being dumped...Booger actually loved me back. I will be posting a tribute photo montage later. We can mourn together. Or you can roll your eyes at the excessiveness. Whatever floats your boat.
All Star soccer has officially taken over my life. I had to do something soccer related 5 days out of the week last week, and six this week. Complete ridiculousness. But, I think we are pretty good. So things should at least be exciting once the games start. Did I mention we are playing at the air force base? That means everyone has to be cleared to get on base. As in, I had to submit a list of names of people that are coming to the game so the military could run background checks on everyone coming. CRAZY.
And lastly, you know that commercial for AllState Insurance that has the family in court and they lose and they're all sad and the other guy is like, we'll get all their money! Yes? I looked for it on YouTube, but couldn't find it, so if you don't know, just watch TV until it comes on. Anyways, every time I see that commercial I get irritated because I realllly want to know the story behind it! I mean, what happened??!?! Was the kid drinking and driving? Is he underage? He's not cute, so I am not really all that interested in him, but I do want to know why the other man is so bitter and money hungry. Is he poor? Was a loved one killed by the ugly boy? Was his car totaled? What is going on AllState?!? I don't think I'll ever find out, with it not being real and all. So sad.
Ok, well be ready for the photo montage. I know I'm excited!
07 November 2008
True Life
My life is ridiculous.
Right now Liz is making me watching True Life: I'm a compulsive shopper. It's killing me. These people are retarded and I don't feel sorry for them. Especially the retard that is trying to save money so she can get a boob job. Dumb ass. Moving on.
Look how much Booger loves me. And I love her back. However, she has been a crazy mutt lately and has got some serious biting issues. We're working on it. I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, let's look at happier times when Booger was being cute. There are more videos of this and I'll get around to posting them later. I know, I'm out of control with the videos. I can't stop myself. True Life: I'm addicted to my puppy.
Right now Liz is making me watching True Life: I'm a compulsive shopper. It's killing me. These people are retarded and I don't feel sorry for them. Especially the retard that is trying to save money so she can get a boob job. Dumb ass. Moving on.
Woo hoo! Go Chic-Fil-A. Sadly, we did not win the Championship (we lost in the tournament by ONE goal..I don't even want to discuss it, it should not have been scored), but we did get this awesome runner-up trophy. Not really sure what I'm going to do with this huge ass trophy, but I'll figure something out. Maybe take it by Chic-Fil-A and see if I can trade it in for some free fries or something. Right, so anyways, since my team finished second, I was made the head coach for the All-Stars team. I was under the impression I was going to just be helping out as an assistant coach..but no, I'm the head coach. This should be interesting. I hope they give me a coaches jersey so everyone knows I am the coach and not a player. Don't laugh. It's happened. True Life: I'm a 23 year old trapped in a 15 year olds body.
I saw Role Models this weekend...SO FUNNY. Go see it. But miss the previews. Normally I love the previews, but they had two for some really scary movies. And I hate scary movies, as well as scary previews. It was some freaky shit. True Life: Scary movie previews give me nightmares.
I think MTV needs to contact me about these True Life ideas. I really think I could provide them with some good material. I mean, they could either actually do a story on me and my super awesome life. Or, I could just give them ideas and they could pay me lots of money. Sounds good to me. Holla, MTV!
By the way, we moved on to True Life: I'm an alcoholic. Seriously? Who cares. Coaching youth soccer, puppies and drug testing is way more interesting. Please.
I saw Role Models this weekend...SO FUNNY. Go see it. But miss the previews. Normally I love the previews, but they had two for some really scary movies. And I hate scary movies, as well as scary previews. It was some freaky shit. True Life: Scary movie previews give me nightmares.
I think MTV needs to contact me about these True Life ideas. I really think I could provide them with some good material. I mean, they could either actually do a story on me and my super awesome life. Or, I could just give them ideas and they could pay me lots of money. Sounds good to me. Holla, MTV!
By the way, we moved on to True Life: I'm an alcoholic. Seriously? Who cares. Coaching youth soccer, puppies and drug testing is way more interesting. Please.
03 November 2008
Hot Dog!
Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!
I really am that obsessive mom. I take a million pictures and then show them to the world, even if they are not interested in seeing them. But whatever, I am going to keep doing it until the blogger police tell me to stop. Anyways, aren't we so cute? I was the phantom drug tester and Booger was obviously a hot dog. She was not a huge fan of it though...as you will see in the video...yay!
And now I'm just going to show more pictures. Because I am that mom and she is that cute. Also, I don't have much else to say other than I am SO ready to vote and get this election OVER with. I am so tired of all the political bullshit. Anyways, enjoy....
Aww, she loves pinky!
Scary face!
Such a booger
Bath time!
Hope you got a good dose of Booger. I'm sure there will be more to come. Get excited! Also, there are more pics and videos on facebook just in case you didn't get your fill.
And lastly, I saw "The Secret Life of Bees" last night and it was super good. The book, of course, is better, but I thought the movie did a good job. Stayed pretty true to the book, which I like. It made me sad for a lot of reasons but it inspired me a little too. I thought of this last night and thought it was so very poetic of me. Here goes:
Sometimes, when you're mending a broken heart, you have to rip out the stitches and start all over again.
Creative, right? It's like when you sew...get it? Like you're mending a dress or something. I know, I don't know where it comes from either. It just bursts out of me. I can't control it.
Song of the post: "Heartbreak World" by Matt Nathanson.
Soccer championships this week! Wish me luck!
Adios.
I really am that obsessive mom. I take a million pictures and then show them to the world, even if they are not interested in seeing them. But whatever, I am going to keep doing it until the blogger police tell me to stop. Anyways, aren't we so cute? I was the phantom drug tester and Booger was obviously a hot dog. She was not a huge fan of it though...as you will see in the video...yay!
And now I'm just going to show more pictures. Because I am that mom and she is that cute. Also, I don't have much else to say other than I am SO ready to vote and get this election OVER with. I am so tired of all the political bullshit. Anyways, enjoy....
Aww, she loves pinky!
Scary face! 
Such a booger
Bath time!Hope you got a good dose of Booger. I'm sure there will be more to come. Get excited! Also, there are more pics and videos on facebook just in case you didn't get your fill.
And lastly, I saw "The Secret Life of Bees" last night and it was super good. The book, of course, is better, but I thought the movie did a good job. Stayed pretty true to the book, which I like. It made me sad for a lot of reasons but it inspired me a little too. I thought of this last night and thought it was so very poetic of me. Here goes:
Sometimes, when you're mending a broken heart, you have to rip out the stitches and start all over again.
Creative, right? It's like when you sew...get it? Like you're mending a dress or something. I know, I don't know where it comes from either. It just bursts out of me. I can't control it.
Song of the post: "Heartbreak World" by Matt Nathanson.
Soccer championships this week! Wish me luck!
Adios.
28 October 2008
Just Dance
Prepare for randomness.
I am so in love with Booger. I don't know how I am going to give her cute self back to the shelter when they call me. I seriously can't get enough of her. And it's weird because I am actually ok with all her nonsense. I am ok with taking her out at 2 in the morning and I'm ok with her peeing in my bed. Gross, I know..but don't worry, I change and wash the sheets asap. But how crazy is that?! I guess I just have a huge soft spot for incredibly cute things. Also, I get so happy because she totally recgoninzes that I'm her mom. She was whining in the car when someone else was holding her but she shut right up when I got her. And she gives me good morning kisses and snuggles with me at bedtime. SO PRECIOUS! I can't STAND it! She seriously is the sunshine of my life. Maybe I should have named her Sunshine. Hm. A woman came in for a drug test today named Sunshine. She wasn't all that sunny though. Her case worker definitely wasn't..she was a total bitch. Moving on. This love kind of scares me because it makes me realize that IF I ever have kids (which I don't want to do) then I will be one of those crazy moms that takes a million pictures of her kids, thinks they are the greatest kids ever in life and makes them dress up in dumb outfits just for a cute photo op. And that is exactly why I don't want to have babies...I do NOT want to be that crazy mom! But I am! And now I'm posting videos. Oh goodness..what have I become?
This video doesn't showcase her full cuteness...kind of when she falls. So imagine this cuteness times 100.
This video doesn't showcase her full cuteness...kind of when she falls. So imagine this cuteness times 100.
Ok, some work ridiculousness...you have to have a picture ID to get a test done. Duh. You can't waltz in here, claiming to be whoever and expect to take a drug test without proving it. For some reason, this causes problems for lots of people and we have issues with it all the time. People come up with creative solutions and sometimes ask if a social security card or birth certificate will work. Good try, but those don't have pictures, so no. One lady called last week and said she didn't have a photo ID, but she did have her marriage license and wanted to know if that would work instead. WHAT???!!!! People are so crazy! And ridiculous! I mean really. I love it. Some people.
Soccer update: U13 is over. We were number 8 and lost to the number 9 time tonight and are therefore out of the playoffs. I will not lie and say I'm not sad. I am ready for soccer to be over. For one thing, it's freezing. Also, I'm tired of running all over the place trying to coach both games by myself. It's exhausting. U18 starts in the playoffs next week and we're tied for first right now, so things could get exciting. We'll see.
Yay Halloween this weekend! Still haven't figured out what I'm going to be. We'll see I guess.
Boo cold weather. Yay fair next week!
The title is my new song for the day. It's by Lady Gaga. She's awesome. It's also what I want to do with my life.
Peace out homeslice.
21 October 2008
Meet Booger
OH. MY. GOSH. Is she not the absolute cutest thing you have EVER seen in your life? Yes she is. Don't deny it. And she is even sweeter in person than she is in the this precious picture. And yes, her name is Booger. It is an excellent name and she loves it. She told me. We are very tight. She pooped in my bed and I still love her. She wakes me up three times a night and I still love her. She has tried to eat all my extremities as well as my hair and I STILL love her. That is how tight we are. Sadly, though, she is not mine forever. I am a foster puppy parent so I will only have her for two or three weeks. But honestly, I think that will be enough. Puppies are kind of like babies to me...they are super cute for a little bit and then they get old. We'll see how things go with Booger, but I really don't think I am going to be able to keep her. But for right now, she and I are having a fabulous time at work. And she hasn't pooped inside once today! She has tried to eat my shoelaces multiple times though.So, in other news...these last couple of days have been a roller coaster. I got the call about Booger on Sunday and I was all, yay! But then later that day the radiator on my car blew and now it's undriveable and that's all, booooooo. But then, today I got a call from the egg place and I got matched again, so I can donate again! YAY! See, roller coaster. But mainly good things. I will be ok without a car for now, but I really wanted to go to Jacksonville this weekend but I don't know if that is going to happen now since my car might not be fixed by Friday. DOUBLE BOOOO. :( :(. I want to go so bad! I've been planning it for awhile. Since right after all my other plans were officially squashed via text message. But, to end on a good note, the U13 team TIED last night! Which means they DIDN'T LOSE! HOORAY! And, we scored THREE goals! That's huge! More than the rest of the season combined, I think. The U18 tied as well, which was disappointing because that is our first not win...but it's not a loss, so we're cool.
Ok, well keep your fingers crossed for Ralph (my car) and maybe when he's fixed I'll come visit YOU! Get excited, whoever you are.
Peace...and hair grease.
Also, does anyone know how to make things go on both sides of the blog? I want to get some more lists going.
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