Same As It Ever Was

If there is one thing I hate more than anything, it's regrets. And that's actually probably not true because I hate lots of things, as discussed in multiple blog posts before. But for right now, regrets is topping the list. I just can't stand it when I do something and then I'm like, dammmmnnnniiitttt, why did I do that? Mainly it's things I say that I end up regretting. Actions accompany sometimes, but it's usually saying things I shouldn't have said. And it almost always involves some silly boy. A lot of times it involves food as well. I'll eat something and I'm all, shit. That is not going to help with the get skinny plan I have. I've had this get skinny plan for quite some time now and it has yet to come to pass. Thus, I have a lot of food regrets. Definitely more boy regrets though. Also some wardrobe regrets, as well as shopper's remorse. Ain't that some shit?

In other news, I watched Glee last night. And I'm not going to lie, I do not feel like a better person for it. I do like Glee. I do. But it's hard for me to watch sometimes because it is SO completely ridiculous. Like, beyond anything I can handle. I know it's TV and that is how it's supposed to be, but really. Matching outfits, matching shoes, singing Empire State of Mind in the courtyard at lunch and literally, no one bats an eye at you? I think the problem comes because they try to present it as high school. I'm sorry, but my high school was no where near as ridiculous as this nonsense and if someone threw a slushee in some one's face, there would be big problems. And kids in choir (closest thing to Glee club, I guess) were not total losers. In fact, the student body president was in choir! She was popular. I often don't relate to horrible high school stories/shows/movies and I'm like, sucks for you. Maybe I missed out, but high school for me was just kind of whatever. I didn't have any enemies and nothing very exciting happened. I had a good time, was involved in everything and wasn't scarred for life. I mean, I had my heartaches and all that nonsense, but nothing too dramatic. I got my senior yearbook stolen, but that was pretty much the worst of it. Oooo-maybe my unknown arch nemesis stole it! I didn't even know about her, but she hated me and stole it, even though it had my name engraved on it. Is it weird that it still makes me angry, 7 years later? Whatever. I don't really let things go very easily.

My mind is all over the place these days. I'm tired, so it's making it worse but I have been a mixed bag of emotions since I got back to LA. I like it, but I don't. There are moments where I'm literally enraged about what went down Sunday and other times where I just have to smile thinking about my wonderful friends and family I got to see. And then on the flip side, I laugh at loud at the absurdity of what happened Sunday and tear up when I think about home and what I'm missing out on. Hormones are such a bitch.

So my brain has just turned to mush and I don't really know where else to go with this post. So I'm going to put a stop to it and hope I'm just in a carb coma from dinner and not going brain dead.

Dream big people!