Days Like This

I hate days like this. I love the song "Days Like This," by Van Morrison but I hate actual days like today. Today is beautiful, the sun is out, the birds are singing and I'm sitting at home, doing nothing. I don't know what to do with myself, I don't know where to go and I have no one to do anything with. I HATE days like this. I know it's really my own fault for sitting at home like a loser, but I can't really figure out what else to do! I have a car, thanks to school, but here I sit. I could go shopping, but I don't really want to spend money and I could probably go to one of the gazillion different attractions LA has to offer, but who really wants to do that kind of stuff alone? Not this girl. And on top of that, I have a fucking hangnail! Dammit!

Yes, I know. I know life isn't really that bad and I have lots to be grateful for, blah blah blah. But there is really nothing I hate more than sitting around with nothing to do. I am a social person and if I had things my way, I would be doing something every second of every day. Ok, not every second. I do like to sleep. And I do like reading and being alone every now and then, but really, I would be fine with alone time like, once a month. Maybe twice.

Days like this, I feel like everyone else has a life and friends and I have neither. There was an Earth, Wind and Fire concert at the Hollywood Bowl last night, complete with fireworks and thanks to poor planning and a lack of available company on my part, I did not get to go. Very upsetting. I feel like every day there is something I miss out on because I don't have people available. I also get a little upset with some of the people I do know here because they can be lame and don't want to do super fun, awesome stuff. I really hate when people ignore me. And even more than that, I really hate being bored. So when people ignore me and boredom is the consequence, I am just super peeved.

So that's that. Sorry to be bitchy. The weekend just did not get off to a good start and things have yet to improve. I stuck my foot in my mouth, yet again. I started choking on it this time and now the stupid things I said are just floating around in my head, mocking me. I am very upset that a time travel machine has not been invented yet so I could go back and fix the horrible mess I made. Don't worry, I'm totally over-exaggerating, but I was completely embarrassed and upset with myself on Friday. And today, I went to a park to enjoy some sun and was sitting at a picnic table reading and this family comes up and sets up their dinner! They asked, but it was really just kind of awkward. I sat while they enjoyed a lovely family picnic. They did offer me some, which was nice, but the whole thing was really just uncomfortable. Also, I am pretty sure I was the only non Hispanic person at this park. Not that it bothered me, it was just something I noticed. I really wish I could speak Spanish.

Fingers crossed tomorrow brings some better times. Bah.