...out of frustration. Damn! Been frustrated a lot lately. Plus, I am currently listening to "Dynamite" so I was inspired. Even thought I'm almost positive being frustrated is not at all what the song is about. But whatever, creative license bitches.
Anyway, work has been weird lately. It's gotten a lot better in some ways and other ways, and in other ways it is just going down the shithole. I don't want to get myself in trouble but I am getting beyond frustrated with some of the shenanigans going on. Grrrrrr. I can't really decide how I want to go about the next few months. Do I look for something else? Do I hold out until I get my two weeks vacay? What to do, what to do?? I just don't really know.
In general, I'm just torn about a lot of things. I like LA and I am enjoying myself a lot more these days. The weather is back to sucking, but social life wise things have picked up and I'm feeling good about things. However, I also am starting to feel a little stagnant. Which is slightly redic, I haven't even been here a year, but I get restless. I feel like a year is too long to be one place. I KNOW, totally ridiculous. A year is nothing! But I've got wanderlust like a mofo and I'm ready for something new. Maybe not for another couple of months, but I for sure don't want to stay here forever. I don't think I could afford it even if I wanted to. Shit is expensive out here!
Annnddd the Italian. I adore him so much. However, he is NOT here! More frustration. Wouldn't it be awesome if you could just wish things into being because you wanted them really really really really bad? Would be nice, huh? His friend, however, is still here, and he has been pissing me off lately. Mainly because he told me he thinks American girls are shallow. I think the problem is more about the language barrier and the fact he is meeting sketchy girls, but it still pissed me off that he said it. It wasn't even softened with a "ok, not ALL American girls..." HELLO, you are talking to an AMERICAN girl! (Not the doll). How am I supposed to take that? I think it made me more mad than it should have because I think MY Italian is going to think the same thing. Maybe he does, I don't know, we haven't discussed that. But it makes me upset to think about it. Especially since it's more about cultural differences and language barriers than me being shallow. Because, like, hello! I am like, totally not shallow! Plus, I make myself crazy trying to figure out what he really thinks, what he feels and it's totally stupid. For one, it doesn't matter because HE'S NOT HERE and two, I will never know what he really thinks because he's a boy and they make no sense AND he can't speak enough English to tell me anyways.
Bah, this post is stupid. Sorry. I'm just tired and the rain is bringing me down. For some positiveness, I have a super cute new second cousin. I also have clean sheets, a new web cam and got an awesome Halloween card in the mail. Also, my stupid roommate may be moving out soon! Things are looking better already!
Dream big people! :)
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