Tell them how I'm DEFYING GRAVITY....

I wish I could sing the title for you, so you could understand the power and passion that goes behind this song. Sadly, having it caps is the only way I can begin to explain the amazing-ness of WICKED! Which I saw this past weekend and it was FABULOUS, once again. I saw it last year in New York and it was just as amazing this time around. Only this time, I knew all the words to the songs and I had to control myself from singing along and/or running up on stage and joining in. It really took a lot of self control. Which I have very little of, so it was hard. Seriously, it's one of the best musicals ever. The book is weird, don't read it. Just go see the musical. Only don't paint yourself green or purchase Wicked book bags and wander around Jacksonville with it on. That's a little extreme. The rest of the weekend in Jacksonville was nice...perfect beach weather, good food, good friends and some dancing. Only, at the end, I'm pretty sure Katrina gave me strep throat (stupid bitch!) because she gets it ALL the time and I had it when I got home. So that sucked. Also, jk about her being a stupid bitch...she was sick too, so it sucks for both of us.

Having strep this week was particularly stressful because I had a MILLION things I needed to be doing and none of them included paying $114 to see a doctor, laying in bed feeling miserable, and taking antibiotics that turned me into a ravenous monster. But it's ok, the money was worth it, I got the antibiotics for free and I feel SO much better today. All is well. I was running around like a crazy person for half the day Wednesday, trying to move everything out of my room so a new person could move in before I left for New Jersey. That was stressful...but it all worked out, thanks to my brother, who has recently decided that doing me favors is not so bad after all. Thanks brother!

So anyways, I flew to New Jersey today (yes, ACTUALLY defying gravity. Elpheba would be so proud), and that is where I am now. My sister is a nanny here in this enormous house and I stayed to take a nap while she took one of the kids to cheerleading. The house is great and big and the people are really nice. They just have this super annoying alarm system that beeps every. single. time. someone opens the door. And for whatever reason, it beeps in her room...not just at the door. Just in case she, or whoever is in her room trying to take a nap, would like to know someone is opening and closing the door a thousand times while unloading groceries. Just in case. But, things are better now, I had a nap and once I get some food (seriously, this medicine is making me an eating monster. I can't get not-hungry), I will be fine and dandy.

The flights were fine. OH MY GOD-I freaking LOVE Sky Mall magazine. Has anyone ever looked through there? They have the CRAZIEST shit! It's so fabulous. I wish I had tons of money so I could buy all of the ridiculous things in there. It is the most random crap, but some of it is like, yeah, I really could use that! For instance, the insect repellent hat. Kind of pricey at $79.95, but I could splurge if it meant no gnats at the soccer games. And then there's stuff like, the only digital camera swim mask. I mean, for $99.95 it's like, do I really need this? And then there is the next tier of crazy things with Bigfoot, the Garden Yeti Sculpture that will "have guests doing a double take at this mythical legend hand-painted for startling realism." And for only $98.95!!!! WHAT?!?! How can it look real when Bigfoot isn't even real!? But the top level of crazy are the movie-themed things you can get. Unfortunately, any discounts you have don't apply to these, so you'll have to pay the full $195 for THE Cryptex from The Da Vinci Code or $395 for the Dark Knight Special Edition Cowl. Whatever the fuck that is. But don't worry, everything in Sky Mall is unconditionally guaranteed for life. So if you ever break the Cryptex, trying to crack the code, I guess they'll give you a new one. Please go to skymall.com to check it out for yourself. Anyways, thanks to Gladys the GPS system, it actually almost as long to get home from the airport as the actual flights. So that was interesting. New Jersey is...interesting. More about that later. I need food for now. And I am super excited about getting to see my study abroad friends in New York this weekend!

Life is so good right now! Hooray!

THREE SIX FIVE

First off, I GOT THE JOB IN GREECE!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! So that's awesome. I'll be working at the camp in ITALY from June 1-July 4, then going to GREECE to be a nanny for one (1) child from July until September. That freaking rocks my face off! Feel free to come visit me. I'll be at the beach, with some ouzo or something. I'll be waiting. Ok, thanks. This is where I will be, in case you get lost:
See you there!

In other news, I just downloaded the most random, ridiculous smattering of music. And I want to share because I'm in love with it all. Well, except one song because I got the wrong version. It's that new Jesse McCartney song, but I got the one without Ludacris :( SO sad! Because my favorite part is when he's like, I miss you 23/7 and that deep voice is like 3.6.5. Makes me smile every time. Anyways, here are the songs I got:
1. I Know You Want Me-Pitbull (This song is kind of annoying after about 2 minutes)
2. True Colors-Anoop Desai ( I never watch American Idol, but I love this version. And his name is super fun to say. And he's cute. Even with his out of control eyebrows)
3. How Do You Sleep-Jesse McCartney (no Luda. tear.)
4. Free Fallin'-Live by John Mayer (I love John. Shut up haters)
5. Did You Get My Message?-Jason Mraz (there is a girl that sings with him and I'm upset she is not credited)
6. We Are Okay-Joshua Radin (Yes, we are)
7. You Are the Best Thing-Ray LaMontage (HOLY SHIT-this song is amazing)
8. I'd Rather Be With You-Joshua Radin
9. After Tonight-Justin Nozuka (His CD cover is cool looking)
10. Perfect Picture-Carlos Bertonatti (his name is awesome)
11. The Little Things-Carlos Bertonatti (This song is ALWAYS stuck in my head)
12. I Do Not Hook Up-Kelly Clarkson (Why not Kelly? It's fun!)
13. Waking Up in Vegas-Katy Perry (God, I hate this woman, but this song is fun)
14. Sugar-Flo Rida (feat Wynter) (Flo Rida is ridic. But I still enjoy him) 15. Something Happened on the Way to Heaven-Phil Collins (an oldie, but goodie)

So there you have it. I really need a new iPod. But for now, I think I'll just make a CD for my road trip tomorrow. Going to Jacksonville to see WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!! And, for the person that was supposed to take me, you can SUCK IT! I'm taking myself!

Oh yes, and if anyone would like to come move me out of my house, I'll be here with some boxes. We will jam out to my awesome music and pack. It will be fun!

Later dudes!

Oh, if you can't find me in Greece...stop and ask this guy for directions.

He should be able to get you to where you need to be going.

Did You Get My Message?

"Uh oh, where did it go, must have by-passed your phone and flown right out of the window"

Thank you Jason Mraz...that is probably what happened to both messages I've sent and the ones I was supposd to recieve. Love that song! And these lines:

"Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send Do they bend, do they break from the flight that they take and come back together again with a whole new meaning to the matter of our loves defense at least be sympathetic to the time I spent"

Yes, at least be sympathetic to the time I spent. And call me. Ass. I wish I wasn't so lazy and could figure out how to put music on here. But I am lazy and that's just how it is. So you should download the song by Jason Mraz and hear it's lyrical goodness for yourself.

So I have some other random thoughts that I've decided to use this blog as an outlet for.

1. Lady Gaga is extremely annoying. I heard her live on something and it has made it worse. She sounded horrible. So not only is she not a great singer, but she is completly ridiculous with her stupid outfits, pantslessness and electric tape nipple guards. I am all for being orginal and cool and hip, but seriously. The thing that bothers me is that one, she is getting tons of attention for being a complete goober. Attention needs to go to people that are doing awesome things and making the world a better place. And two, her ridiculousness probably costs a shit-ton of money and again, that money could be going to people and causes that are awesome and make the world a better place. The cost of her nipple guards could probably feed a family of 4 for a month. Or something. I realize things are this way because being ridiculous is what sells...but that is just sad. And disheartening. People are so stupid. I can't lie, I love her songs...but I think they can be performed without all her expensive, extravagent ridiculousness. And what is up with the tea cup? Ugh, I want to slap her to the floor.

2. Miss California is a complete dodo. Whatever, have your dumb beliefs about marriage being between a man and a woman...but woman! Realize what the hell you are doing and who you are talking to! You are at a freaking Miss USA pageant trying to WIN and the judge that is asking you the question is GAY. And the audience is full of GAY people. Stupid, stupid girl. Have your beliefs, but figure out how to word them so you don't offend 80% of your audience. Saying "no offense" doesn't count. Also, you were raised to belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. What moral parents you have. Did they also raise you to believe that parading around on stage in front of thousands of people in a bikini was a productive thing to do with your life? Because it's not. Don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm kind of embarassed I do.

3. This is the funniest post from Go Fug Yourself that I've seen in a while. I was seriously, lol-ing. http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/04/fugvate_fugtice.html
My favorite is when she says "And I'm HELLA WICKED GLAAAAAD...." Because that is just funny. Hella wicked. In caps. Brilliant.

4. I am trying to decide whether or not blowing all my money on traveling is a very good idea. Thoughts? I'll be making some of it back...and it won't necessarily be all of it..just a lot. It will mainly be on transportation because I'll be staying places for free. And I really want to go.

5. I recently re-discovered my love of beer pong. I miss it. I miss college. I wish I had more friends to play beer pong with. I also wish I liked beer. It would make it even more fun!

That's all. I'm having a great day and I hope you are too!

If I Could Turn Back Time...

....If I could FIND A WAY. Oh my, I love that song. So much. And I love the video even more.



The outfit! The manly voice! Love it! Only, this isn't the real video, which makes me sad, but the outfit is still pretty awesome.

Anyways, turning back time. Good thing? I think I would like to every now and then. I don't really believe those people that say "I live my life with no regrets." Because I regret things all the time. But, I don't let them rule my life or anything. I don't agonize over them or think that they make me any less fabulous. But, there are things I wish I had done differently and there DEFINITELY things I wish I did or didn't say. But, such is life and life goes on. Mainly I can't get over my stupid date that went awry. Like I said, life goes on.

Anyways, along with turning back time, there were some things I didn't blog about the last week or so because I was too grouchy. Nothing too exciting, but just wanted to share my ridiculous nights out. Last weekend involved a strip club and this weekend involved dancing on the bar. Guess which one I was drunk for. Because one of these adventures was had with me being completely sober. That is how I roll people. I am all for sober fun.

Oh yeah, and Easter! The weather was beautiful and I had some good times with the fam. We had a mini photo shoot.
So festive in pastels. There's more..but who really cares?

Ok, well I thought I had more to say about the past couple of weeks, but I guess I don't. Which is fine because things are going REALLY well right now. I got my job in Italy and things are looking pretty good with the family in Greece. So another European adventure is in my near future adn I am so SO excited!

And I am so so lazy today, people. This post has taken me, like three hours to write. And it's a terrible post. I'm sorry. But I really am SUPER pumped about the future. I swear! More when I am less distracted.

Ciao ciao!

A Medley

OH PEOPLE.

Sorry it has been so long. I didn't want to ruin my ONE HUNDREDTH POST with bad news, so that is why I have been putting off writing anything. Because I was grouchy and full of bad news. But...NOT TODAY!!! NOT only is it my ONE HUNDREDTH POST, but it is also a day of very fabulous news and things to look forward too.

First off, let us celebrate the ONE HUNDREDTH POST. I'm excited, and I hope you are too! Here is a lovely medley of songs with which to celebrate. Enjoy and have a little dance party at your computer. Please. For me.

[Um, right. So I was totally going to put songs here. But then I got lazy and tired and I really just want to post this...so that will have to come later. For now, there is just one. But it's fun. More later. Maybe.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwEMxYggoKQ

Ok. Next order of business: POSITIVE news! And I am just full of it! It has been quite the roller coaster ride these last couple of weeks. Here's why: I found out I got the job in Italy! Hooray! Celebrate...tell everyone I know and some random strangers. Next day, find out that instead of a three month contract (as agreed upon), they could only offer me a job for two weeks. AHH. WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOO. Retreat into bedroom, refuse phone calls and dream of breaking things. I won't even get into all the reasons why two weeks of work is ridiculous, I'll just say I was super SUPER frustrated. Then, there's hope that I could possibly work more, but I have to wait for.ev.er. for the woman in Italy to email me back. And between Easter (Italians are serious about Easter, I know this first hand) and the earthquakes over there (so sad), the office was closed for quite some time and I had to wait a long time to hear back. Oh yeah, and here's the best part-she tried to email me waaaay back in March and it didn't go through, for whatever reason. Oh, it could have saved so much heartache! Moving on, I finally heard from her again. First it was bad news, sorry, I can't give you more time. Then the good: someone canceled and you can now have five weeks! YAY YAY YAY YAY! No, this still means I will not be making a ton of money, but I don't really care because I will at least be making enough to break even. And I'll be in ITALY so who really gives a shit? Not me! AND-I have found a family in Greece that I can Au Pair for from July-September, which just fits into my new life plan so perfectly because the camp will be over July 4. Those plans are still in the works, so we'll see..but things are looking good! Hip Hip HOORAY! Seriously, I am so pumped! Now, I just have to move out of my house and get all my shit together before June 1 when I leave. For Italy. :) :) :) :)

Also, I'm going to New Jersey to visit my lovely sister in May, as well as attending a study abroad reunion in New York that weekend. So I just have all kinds of things to look forward too and I really could not be more pleased.

I'm so happy I got to share all of this with you. (That was said in the flattest voice possible...if you've seen Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, you know what I'm talking about. So funny)

So yeah, I've got my fingers crossed and want you to cross them for me as well. And if you pray, say a little prayer for me.

Also, this Au Pair website is cracking me up! Here is my favorite line so far:

I don´t want someone who doesn´t know how to be in every place, and doesn´t know how to eat (without noise).

I think that means she needs someone that can adapt to different situations and has some manners. I could be wrong.

Alright, well I have more good things to say, but I'm going to wait until later when I'm not so tired. And when I can think of another good Rolling Stones song. I feel like a traitor. Sorry Mick. I'll send you a postcard from Italy.

CIAOOOOOOOO :)

You can't always get what you want....

...but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need!

Only I'm not getting anything I want nor what I need. I don't really know what I need, other than a job, but it seems like nothing is going the way I want it. And by nothing I mean that I am super pissed that this boy has not called me. Stupid stupid boy. I guess this is why people hate dating so much. Because just when you think everything is going all great, it all goes to hell instead. Maybe I should just try. But what should I try? Mick Jagger, HELP ME!!!!

Whatever, moving on, who likes my Rolling Stones theme for April?! I do! I don't know how much longer it's going to last, though, because I don't know many other Stones songs. Maybe I'll mosey on over to iTunes later and educate myself.

Oh yeah, and I put in my two weeks notice today. Do I have a new job lined up? Nope. Good job me. I think I might sign up for the adsense thing you can put on your blog and start making money that way. I don't really know the logistics of it, but I guess it can't really hurt anything. Or maybe I'll find some other body parts to donate. You don't need both kidney's, right? I wonder how much one would go for. JUST KIDDING. Where would I even find a market for that? Or maybe I'll actually do what I've been saying I want to do and go abroad. Just maybe.

I'm in a snarky mood right now. I don't really know what that means, but I think that is how I can best describe myself at this moment. So I'm going to shut my mouth, find some Stones to listen too and not blog again until I have something positive to say.

Thank you and goodnight.

**UPDATE: I slept in my awesome flannel pajamas last night (because it's freaking cold again!) and plucked my eyebrows...and am feeling a lot better now :)**

I Can't Get No....Satisfaction

Cause I try and I try and I try and I TRY!

Gah, and I was doing so great too! And don't you worry, I still am doing great. But I'm just frustrated!!! With everything it seems!

The weather is sucking at the moment...maybe that is some of the problem. It's been raining for like, two days now. I like the rain..when I'm home...in my bed. Not when I'm driving to work and/or sitting at work. No good. But I think it's going to be nice this weekend, so I'm sure I'll be better.

Also, I committed some serious dating no-nos this weekend and now I am so mad at myself! Stupid jacky! I thought I was above simple dating rules and sadly, I am not. I am a mere mortal. In fact, why would I even think such things when I have so little experience?! I'm still having a great time, but I feel like I messed things up with someone and I didn't want to do that!!! I wanted things to work! Or for us to at least make it past date one. Shoot. But it was a super great one date...so at least I have that. Also, I may be jumping the gun a little since not even a week has passed yet. We'll see. I'm just impatient.

I really want some puppies! I miss those little things and could use some serious puppy love right about...now.

But here is the real problem: I miss Rome. Oh goodness gracious, I miss it so bad. Mainly because I looked at this:
http://www.budgettravel.com/bt-dyn/content/article/2009/03/20/AR2009032001160.html?wpisrc=newsletter
And it made my heart hurt. Literally, I could feel it aching. I have been to most of the places pictured and I want to go back. To be complety cheestastic, I left a little piece of my heart there and I have to go back to make things better. In general, I am just so ready for some traveling. I want to get out of Charleston SO SO bad. I want to finally do what I've been saying I was always going to do and leave to see the world. I just feel so stuck sometimes. I am waiting patiently to hear back from the job I applied for in Italy and it is KILLING me! I want to know NOW!

Sigh.

But, for some good news: I started my improv class! I think it's going to be fun! There are some doodoos in my class, but hopefully they will make things interesting instead of annoying. Also, a friend is coming to visit this weekend and I'm super excited about that. It's almost the weekend. Oh yeah! All the signs at Curves have been looking really sad lately because they are just ugly print outs of things. We had a food drive and we were competeing with the other Curves and we WON (hooray!) and there was this pathetic looking piece of paper that was like, we beat Belle Hall. It was so sad looking and no one even really noticed it. So, I offered to make some new ones (because a victory is worth celebrating!), but I was kind of nervous the owner would be offended. But I took them to her this morning and she was really really happy! So yay, I'm happy too. I haven't seen them up yet because I couldn't go this afternoon, but I'm sure everyone there is just so impressed with my poster making ablitities. It's kind of my thing. I was the banner makign queen in high school..and college a little. Not to brag or anything. So that was a good story.

Here's to thinking positive for the rest of the week! Cin cin! Also, here are some of my favorite pictures of Rome I wanted to share. Tear.

The view from my apartment. Many good times on our teeny tiny porch.

Castle Saint Angelo and the Bridge of Angels. It has a secret passage to the Vatican! So cool!

Just thought this was funny.

That is my heart that I left there. I need to go retrieve it. Andiamo!

It's just life, so keep dancing through...

Just so you're getting excited...the 100th post is fast approaching this blog. Yep, this one RIGHT here. And I haven't figured out what I'm going to do yet, and I'm not even promising that it's going to be exciting. But it might be, so just be ready.

Anyways, I have some thoughts. First off, I have been on some dates. One was horrible. So horrible. It's unreal how retarded boys are. And going along with that...I don't know how I am still surprised at the ridiculousness of boys, but I am. And I need to remember some things. First off, they are very dense. They (some...not all) don't really take hints very well. See, in my world, if someone didn't answer my seven phone calls and numerous text messages, I would probably stop trying to get in touch with them. Or I would assume they died and send my condolences. That's just me. Another thing I need to keep in mind: what boys say does not always match what they mean or do. Um, duh jacky. I guess I just get so caught up in what they are saying and the potential of what they're saying, that I forget that boys don't always tell the truth. And that's not fun. Regardless, I am having a grand ole time and am really happy with life right now. Kissing makes life so much better. So does fabulous weather, days off, good friends, and DANCING. I don't know how I went so long with no dancing. From here on out, I am dancing as much as possible, whenever possible. I promise. Feel free to come join me.

Oh yeah, and I've had some days off recently. It's AWESOME. It's so weird...I am way more productive on my days off during the week than I am on the weekend, even though I have the same amount of time to do things. It's nice to go out and about and not have to fight the crowd. And, everything is not open on the weekends, so that's nice as well.

Along with being productive during the week, I get to watch Ellen! So exciting. And today, I switched back and forth between Oprah and Ellen. I mainly watched Ellen, but there was some crazy shit on Oprah! She was interviewing the girls from the Mormon ranch in Texas that got raided a while ago. And it's insane! I mean, they say they like their lives and wouldn't have it any other way. Which is so crazy because they all have to wear these extremely unflattering dresses and they all have really bad hair. Oh yeah, and they can't leave the ranch and they get married as teenagers and have to share their husbands. So that's probably not fun either. I wonder if they would actually like the real world...I mean, they've never experienced it, so they wouldn't really know. But on the other hand, I've never experienced their life, so I don't know if I would like that. I'm thinking I wouldn't, but I guess we'll never know.

So that's my life. Kissing, dancing, beach, crazy shit on Oprah, Ellen, loving life. It's pretty nice. OH! And my improv class starts today! I'll let you know how it goes. Oh yeah, the song title is from "WICKED" the musical, which I will be seeing at the end of this month. YESSSSSS. The song is awesome. You should check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6rqbzuOFtA. The video is lame, but the song is good. And it's better live, I swear.

Later skater.

People say she's crazy...

...she's got diamonds on the soles of her shoes.

That is what I'm listening to right now, so that is my title. I wanted to keep the song titles going. No real reason. Even though I will share that it's the acoustic version and it's pretty badass. Way cooler than the real one. Ch-ch-check it out. That was my deejay voice. Also, I can never decide how to use capitalization in my title. Every letter caps, just the first, all lowercase? So many decisions. I decided I would make this one look like how it would look when written as a lyric. So there you go.

Anyways, I don't really have a topic for this post. I had a very strange day today. It was this bizarre mixture of good and bad moods. I was in a good mood because our soccer team TIED last night! This NOT a loss, so it is a definite improvement for Team Royal (we have no sponsor). And, the kids played awesome and an overall good time was had. Then my brother and I rocked out in the car and it was super fun. My new song obsession is "Kiss Me Through the Phone" by Soulja boy...even though it's retarded. I freaking love it. Any song with the word "wifey" in it is awesome in my book. I always dance and give it motions. It came on when I was at the club last weekend (that's right, ME, CLUBBING..more later) and I was flipping my drunk ass shit. It was awesome. I'm sure all the people around me, that I was offering kisses and the phone to, thought so as well. Here, it's for you! Answer! It's a kiss!

Right. But then, I was in a bad mood because people were being freaking DUMBASSES today. Why am I surprised!? I don't know, I guess we had a dumbass lull for a bit, so I forgot how stupid people are. I was reminded today. However, it was kind of amusing. Because after I got lunch (Chic-Fil-A...yummm...makes any day better), I was like, um, you people can't phase me. I decided I wasn't taking any crap and was totally bitchy to people. But I found it to be hysterical. Which makes me even more of a bitch, but whatever, I don't care when stupid people don't like me. So I was annoyed...but then laughing. It was weird.

Enough about my dumb day, let's talk about my AWESOME weekend. My sister was in town and we decided that Team Gyp (me, my brother and sister) needed to hit up da club. I had a wine party to go to first, so I got supa drunk there first and then took me and my date (YES, DATE!) out dancing and had myself a good ole time. My brother, who had a sweat rag with him at the club (he's a regular), was not pleased that I was running around, dancing like a crazy person, and trying to steal his sweat rag all night. Apparently I was cramping his style and he was having trouble with the ladies. Whatever, I was having a great time. And that's all that matters, right? I had to keep dancing because whenever I sat down I seriously thought about going to sleep at the bar table. THAT would have been embarrassing. I didn't, thank goodness. I was a trooper and kept on dancing. Such a fun night. Not so much a fun morning, though. I had to get up way to early and go play softball. Which turned out to be really fun, but I seriously thought I was going to throw up after hitting a double and had to run ALL the way to second. It was rough. There was not throwing up involved though. There was, however, some WINNING involved. Hell yes! It was especially nice to win a game after last weeks pathetic loss of 24-0. After three innings. Yes. Ouch. Oh yeah, I'm playing with the SI Fire Station. My dad and brother play too. It's a family affair. It's also a men's league, but no one's said anything, so I'm just going to keep showing up.

Then Sunday, I slept a lot, hung out with my mom, ate a cupcake for lunch (it was the best thing EVER-caramel apple!) and saw "I Love You, Man." Which, in my opinion, was not all that funny. It's one of those movies where they show you all the funny stuff in the previews. Maybe I was just mad because I love Jason Segel and he looks disgusting in the movie and even my love for Paul Rudd could not overshadow his grossness.

I'm done. Go browse through Go Fug Yourself's March Madness if you have some free time. HYSTERICAL. Fucking hysterical. I literally, lol'ed (omg-did I just say lol?!) multiple times while reading it. The comments are especially entertaining. I think SWINTON is going to reign fug supreme, but you just never know. People say SHE'S crazy. (See how I brought it back around?) OH YEAH! That is what I wanted to post about today. Shoot. Maybe tomorrow.

Ciao people.

That's What Friends Are For...

...for good times, for bad times, I'll be on your side forever more....

la la. Yay Dione Warwick! I don't feel like typing the rest. But this post is going to be about friends. And how great they can be. And what I've learned about them recently.

So I had a little hiatus where I was pretty much mad at the world. I get really personally offended when people don't return my phone calls, emails, etc. In my opinion, they are being crappy friends and it just pisses me off. I still think there is some merit to me being pissed. I mean, I made it a priority to call/email/write you, you can't do anything back? But, I'm learning to chill out. Not everyone chooses to spend their free time catching up with old friends. Some people choose to live their life and spend it with friends that are already around. Some people really do, just suck at keep in touch and making a phone call is just way too much effort for them to handle. Or, my recent theory, is that it's me. It's quite possible that it's me that sucks and these people are just avoiding me because they don't want to be around me and my sucky self. In which case, it's their loss...because I don't suck, I rock and their perception of sucky is obvoiusly horribly skewed. But, it's still a possibility. Some people are blinded by my awesomeness and can't even function after they've experienced it. I can't help them though, I can't turn off the awesomeness. Maybe they should invest in some anti-awesome sunglasses, I don't know.

Oh man, what a tangent! Focusing now. Ok, point is, I've been feeling super fabulous and extra awesome these last couple of weeks. And I'm learning to chill out a little about people that don't get in touch that often. Especially people that live far away. I'm coming to terms with the fact that people have their own lives are sometimes too busy living them to constantly be talking to me on the phone. And I am ok with me only talking to some people once every couple of weeks or months. For a while, I was bitter and was all, F THEM! I am never talking to them again! And then I reality slapped myself in the face and realized that it's really stupid to think that is going to solve anything. I figured out that a conversation every so often is better than nothing at all and a lot of times, those conversations are so fun and fabulous and well worth the wait. And I usually remember why I am friends with them in the first place and why I wanted to talk to them so badly.

These revalations, that are really not at all revolutionary, are coming along with my renewed sense of happiness these days. I am a true believer in seasonal depression after this past retarded winter. Spring has sprung people, the nice weather is back, and I, for one, could not be more excited. I hate hate HATE cold weather and am so thrilled flip flop weather has returned to the lowcountry. Kissing helps things too...but I think it's more about the weather. That, and the fact that my life has moved back into the busy category. I have soccer, softball, dates and improv class starts next week! AND-I'm going to start getting a day off during the week! So pumped!

Oh yes, I was also supposed to talk about how great my friends are. And they really are. It's amazing how happy people can make you so happy when you're not even expecting it. I've gotten some super great emails, had some fabulous phone conversations and had a kick ass fondue dinner last weekend. And a friend is coming to visit next weekend and I can't freakin' waiiiitttt!!! You're jealous.

The sun is shining and I am ready to enjoy it. Feel free to come on down and enjoy it with me. Much love to all my friends that are reading this (hey the three of you!). Um, sorry if I sounded really cheesy and ridiculous in this post. I'm just happy. Finally :)

Oh, and this isn't directed at any one person, so no one take offense please! Also, if you need some happy in your life, I would suggest going to Pandora.com, typing in Eric Hutchinson and letting your ears fall in love with every song that plays. You're welcome.

I kissed a BOY...

...and I LIKED it!

No cherry chapstick though. Which is good, because I hate cherry chapstick...strawberry or the plain kind all the way.

I had to change the lyrics a little, but I wanted to share and stick with my trend of lyrics titles, so I went with Katy Perry. Even though she is super annoying and that Hot and Cold song makes me want to punch babies.

But yeah, I did. It was great. :) So great, that I am still in a good mood, even after I got up at FOUR THIRTY in the freaking morning today. And there is no napping for me because I have a soccer and a softball game tonight.

Anyways, that's all you get. A lady doesn't kiss and tell, so I'm not going into details.

Unless maybe you call me. Then I might share a little.

OK is Alright With Me

Some things are just meant to be. My song titles continue....this one is by Eric Hutchinson, my obsession from a few months ago. I still love him.

So I've been trying really hard over the last two days to think of something fun and positive to blog about. I decided that if I at least write about happy things, then that will in turn, force me to actually be happy. I couldn't really think of anything good, so I'm just going to ramble on about random things. Oh, and I'm not necessarily unhappy right now. I just get super grouchy at so many things...but at the end of the day, I'm content. Which is better than depressed.

Ok. Here's what I want to know. How does facebook come up with what is displayed on your page and in the ads? Do I get all the find your match ads because I'm listed as single? That's nonsense. Like my good friend LaSarah said recently, there is nothing wrong with being single. Not a damn thing. In fact, I would argue that it is almost better than being in a relationship. Of course I would, I'm not in one, but hear me out. I don't have to check in with anyone before I decide what I'm doing for the evening/weekend/whatever. I have friends that have to check in with their significant other before they can go out to dinner/to the beach/to da club/etc. Lame. I can dance/flirt/make eyes at/hook up with whomever I want, whenever I want. I'm sure I will take advantage of this soon. And, I don't have lame arguments over lame things like why you didn't call me back, why you didn't tell me you were taking a shower at 3 instead of 3:30, who is that girl that keeps texting you and why did you put your nasty dirty shoes on my couch? There are other reasons too, but this paragraph is about facebook, not single ladies (throw your hands up!*). So anyways, I always have these "need a lover" ad things on the side of my facebook. And sometimes they are really specific. Like, Catholic Match? How did facebook know I was raised Catholic? Big, Beautiful and Single? Does facebook think I'm fat based on my pictures? :( Looking for a Christian partner? It doesn't say if I'm a Christian anywhere on my profile. What is going on here?

And I wonder about the other features too. Like, how do they pick who gets to show up in your select friends box? Usually it's super random people that you really aren't even friends with. And sometimes, you go stalk people and then you come back to your profile and one of them is the same while everyone else is different. Why is that? And how do they decide who to feature in your news feed? Why do they feel it necessary to show that one random person has done 11 different facebook activities today? If I wanted to know all that about said person, I would stalk them. And that People You May Know feature still annoys me. Half the time I don't know them. I did some investigating and I only had like, one friend in common with a few people. It seems unlikely that I would know them. I don't know that I've ever looked at that and been like, oh yeah! I do know them! Thanks facebook, I'll friend them RIGHT NOW!

In other random news, I've realized I am one of those people that never lets inside jokes die. Quick poll: Is that annoying? Yes or No? Tell me your thoughts. Is it weird and annoying if I re-visit mildly funny situations that happened a long time ago? Does it change things if that is really the only experience I have with someone?

Oh yes, and I would also like for people to shut up about Chris Brown and Rihanna. Not that I think Chris Brown did no wrong, but I would just like everyone to be quiet about. Mainly for Rihanna's sake. Take her advice and "just life your life," instead of worrying about everyone else's.

I just read that Prince William might be marrying his on and off girlfriend, whatever her name is. Which is so sad. For him. I really think he would have more fun with me. Also, I look great in tiaras.

And lastly, my cousin (the engaged one) might move to Paris with her fiancee and I am SO JEALOUS. Maybe I need a husband after all.

*WHY is Beyonce singing about single ladies? She is MARRIED. Shut it BK. And keep your hands down. And that other song, "If I Were a Boy," what is that? Again, married. Real single ladies know whats up...you're a poser. Even though I enjoy both songs.

Going to the chapel...

..and my cousin AUSTIN is getting MARRIED! So exciting, right?! I know! I'm excited too! Even though the big day is not until October 18th (mark your calendars people), it is still appropriate to be excited about it now. Right this second.

And, as a side note, I thought that song was "going to the jack-o-lantern" or something that had jack in it..I don't remember exactly. But I didn't know it was chapel until like, fifth grade.

So anyways, and to add to the excitement, I am going to be a bridesmaid!!! Hooray!!! I think I am one of the few people in the world that actually enjoys being a bridesmaid. Seriously, I think it is so fun and so special to be a part of someone's big day. I just see it as this huge honor and I am so so pumped about being in hers. And she didn't even really ask me! She just straight up told me...like it wasn't even an option. Even more special. Though later, when she was trying to save some dough, she did give me the option of being the musical entertainment. Funny story, when she first asked, the way she worded it, I thought she was asking me to be the deejay. And she said I would be playing by myself, so I was picturing me playing music to a room by myself while the wedding was going on. And I was like, that doesn't sound fun at all...I wouldn't get to see anything! I know, why would I think that? I don't know...but then I figured out she was asking me to actually play the music (the viola) by myself. And as awesome as that would be, I had to say no. And truly, that was more for everyone elses benefit. First off, I was not that good at the viola to begin with. When my resume says "Orchestra-Principal Viola" it's actually very deceiving. Our orchestra was not all that great, and the viola section (which consisted of two people) was the worst (by a lot) of all the sections. So really, don't be impressed. Secondly, I haven't played my viola since my senior year, which will be coming up on 2 years (gasp!) in May...2 1/2 in October. And lastly, and most important, I don't actually know where my viola is at the moment. Between all the moving over the last two years, I don't really know where it has ended up. I should probably find it though, and try to sell it. Anyways, it really would not have been a good idea for me to play in the wedding....esp by myself. Even though I really wish I was good enough to do so. So instead, I'll be a bridesmaid and feel super special because my name gets to be on the website and in the program! Even if my name is listed last. No big deal. Someone has to be last.

I'm super pumped in general though. I freaking love weddings and it is going to be even more awesome because it's my #1 Cuz. Even though it's going to be super weird as well. I mean, we are the same age but I feel like she is LIGHT years ahead of me in life. She's got her shit together and is getting MARRIED and I haven't even been on date in...an embarassingly long amount of time. No need to go into details. I think the weirdest thing will be when we get together for family functions, she will get to sleep with her HUSBAND...and I will still be in the racecar bed by myself. Whatever, that thing is comfy. Also, she's getting a new last name and that's always an adjustment. But, excitment and happiness definitely trumps all. No question.

Oh, and another funny story...she asked if I was going to be bringing a date. Bahahahahhaa! Um, I wish. Unless my dating life takes a drastic turn for the better like, tomorrow, I don't think a date is going to be in my future....even if it is seven months away. How sad is it that I've turned into a bitter old hag at such a young age? Oh well.

Well, stay tuned because I will keep you posted on all my bridesmaid glory in the future. You know you're jealous.

I like how my last two posts have had song titles. Maybe I will do that from now on. Let's see if I can be that creative. Also, I don't mind when people have post requests. In fact, I'm thrilled that people are even reading :)

....gee, I really love you and we're gonna get married....going to the chapel of LOVE.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Please tell me you are now singing 'raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens,' with an English accent. I am.

So anyways, after my bitch fest of a post last time, I thought I would share with everyone some things that make me happy. It does happen. I actually used to keep a joy book and I wrote down things that made me happy. I started it in high school and kept it up until my senior year of college. It's random things that make me happy and quotes from various people that made me laugh or smile. I still have it, but it hasn't been written in in awhile. Which makes sense because I'm not really all that happy these days. The last thing is a quote from one of the pee farm crazies from last year. Some things are inside jokes that I know longer understand. For example: "It's called asshole accent." Hm. Who knows? But here's a good one: "I'll slap a bullet to your face!" Oh, pre-cal. Good times. Some of the things I can't even read because my handwriting is terrible. It's funny too, because I can remember some of the things so clearly and they still make me laugh. And, I can remember what guy I was crushing on at the time throughout my joy book, based on things they said that I wrote down. There aren't too many...but a few good quotes of the few nice things boys have said to me. I would love some more to add in, haha.

Ok, well here is the list I know you have just been dying to read. I won't make you wait any longer. This is just a random smattering, not a complete list. That would just be too ridiculously long. Please, enjoy.

-Conversation hearts. I found one once that said "Let's Read." I kept for like a year.
-The 80s arm pump. Every good 80s song has an arm pump moment. If it doesn't, it's not a good song.
-Hammocks and porch swings. I can't wait to have a house so I can buy these two things and alternate between sitting in them.
-Porches. I really wish my house now had one. I feel like it would make my life 10 times more enjoyable.
-The beach. I have discussed my love for this before.
-Bike rides...esp going down hill. I really should buy a bike.
-Boyfriends for one night. Haha, our Italian exchange student once told he had never had a girlfriend for longer than one night and I thought that was so funny. Definitely better than saying random hook-up or one night stand.
-Cute stationary. I cannot control myself at Target! I don't even allow myself to go into stationary stores. I would walk out broke.
-CAMP. I can't even explain my love for camp. It goes beyond all reason.
-Reading.
-Eggnog. It is so tasty.
-Skinny dipping...at night. It's fabulous.
-New shoes. There's even a song about these!
-Acoustic music. Well, music in general.
-Puppies! Like you didn't know this.
-Summer nights. Minus the misquitos.
-Disney movies. I want to own all the DVDs. I've started with "Lady and the Tramp."
-Flowers. I wish someone would send me some. That would be nice. (Tulips)
-Slow dancing. I miss organized dances. So much.
-Vespas
-Things lost in translation
-Cute boys with accents. Or cute boys that don't speak English and want to make out with you. Yes please.
-Random, funny things. Commercials, flyers, people, etc.
-Getting to say what you really mean and having someone be like, YES! And you realize you are not alone.
-Christmas lights! I have them up all year. Don't hate.
-The human knot game. That is my favorite ice breaker and everyone else hates it. Lame.
-My huge ass GDH cups. Reminds me of college, but with more liquid. Everyone wins.
-Holding hands
-Drumlines. Seriously. Once, in high school, we had a pep rally in the gym and the drum played and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I kid you not. It was very Carla circa "The Other Sister"
-1st kisses...real ones...not drunk bar ones.
-Conversations about ridiculous things.
-The continent club. I have four.
-Coordinated dances. Especially along the lines of step and those crazy hip hop clogger people.
-The keyboard demo on Katrina's keyboard. So many good memories with that thing. It's a like a rock/techno version of the Nutcracker song. It's awesome.
-Real mail. Nothing better than having someone take the time to send you something that required a stamp.
-Making like utensils. I know, I'm so stupid for calling it that. Don't care.
-MUSICALS.
-Naps....sleeping in general
-Nice boys (They are rare). Nice single boys (near exctinct)
-DANCING. So fabulous
-Being on a boat. I need a boyfriend with a boat for the summer. Quickly.
-Sharpies
-Mini things...anything. I love the travel section and often shop there even if I'm not traveling anywhere.
-New socks and underwear.
-Wearing my fake glasses when I'm doing important things and need to feel smart.
-Nice surprises
-Being with my real friends and getting to be my real self...not my I just met you, please like me self.
-When people make comments on my blog.

And last but not least, these tennis shoes:

Seriously. I don't know what it is, but I am so in love with these shoes. Once, in college, this really cute boy in my English class had them and I was convinced we were meant to be. But then he hooked up with my roommate and now he's married to a girl in my sorority, so I had to let that dream go.

So there ya go. There are a million more. But for now, when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feeeeeelll sooooo bad. Thank you Freuline Maria.

Airing Some Grievances

I have a lot of pet peeves. Tons. And people think I'm crazy and horrible, but I bet that if you stopped and thought about it, there are lots and lots of things that bother you. And jeez, it's not like I go off on people that bother me (to their face) or go on a killing rampage because the person in front of me at the Publix has decided they are going to pay for the their cigarettes, processed cheese, frozen chicken, Snickers bar and six pack of Diet Coke with two different credit cards. Oh wait, one of the cards was declined, she has to put the processed cheese back and pay the remaining $4.54 with a check. And even though she's in a well chair and clearly has some breathing issues, she is keeping her cigs. No. I would never kill someone over something silly like that. Or even say something to them. I will however, add "people who pay with checks" to my list of pet peeves. And the rest of this post will be a random list of things that bother me. Please, don't read if you are one of those people who are above having pet peeves. You're actually on the list.

Now, according to my lovely brother, I don't like anyone. But that's not really true. It is a fact that many, many people get on my nerves. However, it's more things people do that bother me and causes me to temporarily not like them. On occasion, people do a combination of things that annoy me and I write them off completely. I know, that's terrible..but I usually give them another chance, should they want it. And, on the flip side, I have lots of friends that do stupid annoying things and I still like them.

So whatever. This blabbering is just another example of my constant need to explain myself. So I'll just get on with the list. But I would like to say that I really am a nice person. I just get a little grouchy sometimes. And I have very little tolerance for ignorance. A lot of these are things I deal with at work.

Here we go.

1. This is the only one I'm going to number because it is my number ONE pet peeve. When people don't do what they say they are going to do. OH MY GOSH, that is the most aggravating thing ever. And so rude and disrespectful, in my opinion. I mean, if there is even a small chance that you are not going to be able to do whatever it is, just keep it at a maybe until things are definite. And forgetting to do something and then being like, oh yeah! I'll do it right now, is not the same thing. I'm talking about things like, I'll call you back at 8 and I hear from you in two weeks. Not cool. Keep your word people, it's not that hard.

-Grown ass people that don't know how to act. We've had a few adults in the office the last couple of days that think it's appropriate to 1. Smack their gum, 2. Not say please or thank you and 3. Play games on their phone with the sound on extremely loud so the entire office can hear. Please. Show some respect.

-Bad grammar. He done did it is not how you express past tense.

-People in fast cars that are driving slow. Why did you buy a corvette if you are only going to go 55 on the Interstate? At least get out of the fast lane if that's how it's going to be.

-Rudeness. I really only condone rudeness if it's been provoked. Otherwise, some manners will get you a long, long way. I hate especially when people call the office for directions or with questions and just say ok and hang up instead of THANK YOU. It would've taken, what, five more seconds?

-Writing u instead of you, 2 instead of too, two, or to, 4 instead of four, for, etc, etc. I hate shorthand for texting! I know everyone does it, but it's so annoying to me! And it's even worse in emails or something you're typing.

-People who claim nothing bothers them. Liar.

-Not doing simple things that could make a big difference. For example: turning off the damn lights. I came home the other night and every light in the house was on. And no one was home. Necessary? I think not. In other words, being wasteful. I don't like it.

-Unnecessarily expensive things and the people who buy them. $100 for sunglasses is ridiculous, you know you are just going to lose them or sit on them in your car. $10 is my limit.

-Talking during movies or other things where you are supposed to be quiet. No one wants to hear your comments. You are not as funny as you think you are. And chances are, everyone else noticed whatever it is you're commenting on.

-People who have their phone on speaker...esp those crazy Nextel people. I am not interested in what you are having for dinner, nor do I want to hear that constant beep beep. Also, people who are on their phone while they are trying to do business. Tell them you'll call back and then order your lunch. So rude on so many levels.

-The fax machine at work. OH man, it drives me crazy! I'm sure it hates me back.

-Facebook idiots. People who: change their status every few hours, send you stupid requests like "What is your Vampire Name?", and/or use facebook as their personal soap box to express their religious and political beliefs/moral convictions.

-People that make comments and discuss celebrities like they know what is going on. Shut up losers. Celebrities are ridiculous and you are making things worse.

-Smoking. So disgusting. Most disgusting thing ever, actually.

-Dumb ass reality TV. I can't deal with it. It makes me so angry.

-Liars. I get these a LOT at work and it makes me mad every time. Did you think I wouldn't find you out?! I am on to you, drug addicts!

-People who get hung up on extremely stupid things, decide their way is the right/only way and won't shut up about it. Christianity is not the only religion, gays people are still people, stem cell research is useful and Obama is a natural born citizen. Find some joy in your life! Focus on that instead!

And with that, I should probably take my own advice. I'm just bored at work. How about this...my next post will be a list of things that make me happy. I know, you can hardly wait. Calm down, I'll do it soon. There are tons of those things as well and yes, I do try to focus more on those than these. I promise.

The Pizza

So I'm ridiculous. In case you haven't caught on to that already, I am. And I'm going to explain why in this post.

First off, it's really quite amazing that I am feeling as fantastic as I am right now. Last week (just Friday, really) was a nightmare. Really. I'm pretending it didn't really happen...it was just a bad dream. So moving right along, I am feeling good today. I joined a gym, have I mentioned that? I think I did...maybe on my other blog, I don't remember. Anyways, so the gym is in the same shopping center as a pizza place called La Pizzeria. The pizza. Super creative, right? Anyways, I'm at the gym and this lady is talking about how good their pizza is because it's run by a family from Italy. The conversation moves on and we discuss how great the Twilight and Harry Potter books (both = awesome...though HP is better). Anywho, I leave and the sign catches my eye. I think, man, I really miss Italy. Also, I have been craving pizza lately. I ate at Brixx last week and had a piece of someone else's pizza (I had a salad) and it was REALLY good. That leads to the following train of thought: that family is from Italy...maybe they'll speak Italian with me!...I bet their pizza is as good as Brixx...don't do it fool, you just worked out!...but they're Italian!...ok, go, you can have it for lunch tomorrow. So in I go and I see a now hiring sign. And my ridiculous self asks the fabulous Italian woman running the cash register if they still need waitresses. WHAT was I thinking?! I know it would be taking on a little much, but in all honesty, I think I would really like it. I realized today how much I thrive on social interaction. And I get very little of that at the pee farm. First off, the people in there are not really people I want to be interacting with. Secondly, even if they are decent, I only interact with them for like, five minutes. Whoa tangent. Anyways, she just took my name and number and really didn't seem very interested in speaking Italian with me...so I just ordered a much too expensive pizza and waited. I also noticed all the cute boys that were working there. And while I was waiting, the people were making the pizza were speaking Italian and literally, my heart was hurting. I could feel it. I want to work there! The pizza was good! (Even though they left off my feta...but that's ok because my name was typed in as "jakee." Oh god, I miss Italy so bad).

That was a long paragraph, so I started a new one, even though I'm really on the same train of thought. I think part of the reason my heart was hurting was today I got the travel bug really bad. I FINALLY finished my TEFL course (95, bitches!) and I got an email about being a summer camp counselor overseas. And I literally almost screamed in happiness. I completely forgot about that option! And I am seriously GIDDY about the prospect of going to camp overseas. Camp is one of my most favorite things ever in life and going to camp overseas would, literally, be a dream come true. So yeah, keep your fingers crossed for me.

In addition to realizing how much I crave social interaction, I also re-affirmed how much happier I am when I have things to do. This past week I've had something to do every day and I am one happy lady today. And I am especially excited about the weeks to come because I am going to have LOTS of stuff to do! Hooray! Soccer starts again next week (JC and I are coaching again), I am taking an IMPROV class (I know, so fun right?), and I am starting some new volunteering program soon. Oh yeah, and I might have a part-time job at La Pizzeria. Which will subsequently lead to me going out with the hot boys that work there and/or the hot boys that will surely come in to eat. Oh yeah, and there is my new gym where I will be getting a new hot bod (to attract the hot boys) and there are always my crazy ass puppies. I think this set is my fave. They are cuddlers and I LOVE me some cuddling pups. Jack and Diane came on Pandora this afternoon and I could not stop smiling.

MAN. This post is long and random. But just a few more things. I have been seeing a lot of Jesus commercials on TV these days. What's up with that? They kind of creep me out. But my favorite was one I heard the other day that was a man screaming about how you need Jesus and how THERE IS NEVER A RECESSION IN THE LORD'S KINGDOM.

And I'll end on that. Thank you and goodnight. Grazie e buonosera.

Ok, wait. One more thing. What the FUCK is going on with Grey's Anatomy? I haven't been watching, but I just saw the end of it (it was a 30 Rock re-run) and apparently Denny is REAL?! What the hell?! I swear he died! I know he did! I watched it senior year and then had to go to class crying because it was such a depressing episode. Then I stopped watching after that because it stressed me out and gave me anxiety. So I'm confused. But now I'm watching Dance Crew and it's making me happy...they dancers are wearing hot pink pants. I want some. Speaking of dancing (sorry, this just keeps getting longer), 1. I REALLY want to go dancing 2. My hero, Belinda Carlisle is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. I don't watch, but I will at least make sure to find out if she goes on or not. You should too.

Ok for real. Basta. (That means enough).

See, completely ridiculous?

Really?

Well, this is depressing. There was a list of "fallacies" about men and relationships today on vsb.com and this was one of them:

4. fallacy: “men love funny women”


truth: men love women with a sense of humor and the ability to “get” and appreciate jokes…not necessarily make them. “funny” women with a endless staccato of jokes, witty insults, and clever comebacks usually remind men of other men, regardless of how attractive they are.


summary: although we love liz lemon, we think shes drier than eraser dust

And that makes me depressed. Because I am funny. Or so I've been told. I mean, I would use funny in a list of adjectives should you ask me to describe myself. And now this. Maybe this explains all that unrequited love I was talking about some posts back. But seriously, really? Why is this so? Obviously, I don't think (at least I'm desperately hoping) this is the opinion of every guy in the whole world, but it kind of makes sense. Look at female comedians, most of them are lesbians or are single. I'm not really aspiring to be a female comedian, but Ellen and Tina Fey (aka Liz Lemon) are two awesome ladies, in my opinion. And I would definitely not mind following their career path. I wonder if they mean Liz Lemon the character though, because she has more problems than just being funny. Drier than eraser dust? Ouch. She is a little crazy though. But Tina Fey is married...to a man...so maybe there is hope for me. Or maybe I'm not really funny, I just think I am and the reason I get no love lies elsewhere. Or maybe I'm just going to have start being un-funny and the guys will come running.

Anyways, just wanted to share really quick. This just made me go, boo. Sad. I thought the other things on the list sounded pretty true, so this one is probably right. Although I'm not necessarily sure if I decide whether or not I'm going to sleep with someone in the first sixty seconds of meeting them. That thought really doesn't cross my mind at all. Maybe subconsciously. Who knows. And as for #6, I think that is DEAD ON. Guys (most of them) are afraid to break girls hearts. We cry and carry on and blah blah, it's a mess. It's tough. It's kind of nice, in a way, that boys are so concerned. But in the end, the girl still gets hurt and no one really wins. I don't know if there is a way to win, really.

Ok, well I'm going to give not being funny a try. This is probably going to be easy since I'm always in a bad mood and who's funny when they're in a bad mood? Not this girl. Also, I rarely talk to boys on any type of romantic level, so this should not be a problem. I will keep you updated.

PS-I will still be coveting Ellen and Tina Fey's jobs. I would still like to be on TV, even if it means I'm sad and lonely because men don't like me. I would make enough money to pay them to like me.

Little Ditty...

'bout JACK AND DIANE....
AH!!!I know...so so cute. I had to look up how to spell ditty.

This is Diane. She kind of looks like a chihuahua. I definitely had to look up how to spell chihuahua. What a ridiculous word.
And here's Jack. He is very manly, even though he is afraid of the cat at my dad's house. Don't tell anyone.
So anyways, they are, of course, super cute. But, like all puppies they are CRAZY! And so annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death. But I do NOT love them peeing ALL over my floor. Honestly, I don't mind the poop as much because I can just pick it up and be done..but the pee lingers. And, it's harder to find, so sometimes I step in it without realizing it was there. I know, SICK. And, poop doesn't make the floor sticky. It just smells worse. And I realize I have a ton of pictures of dogs in my bed. Does that make me weird? I don't know, but these puppies LOVE to cuddle and I, for one, am not going to stop them. These are also harder to get pics of because they are super hyper and always running around like crazy pups. Which they are.

So yeah...there you go. Anyone want to adopt them? How can you resist really? Everyone asks me how I could possibly give them back after a few weeks. And straight up, I cry every time. However, I can't lie, I am always SO ready. They are so cute but super annoying. The worst is in the morning because they don't like to sleep past 5:30 or so. Even on the weekend! I know, why don't they want to sleep in? Silly puppies. And it's cold and so early, I usually just let them out of the cage and of course they pee on the floor. I'm so lazy But I dont' want them to wake up my roommates with their whining. But I'm beginning to be less concerned with my roomies because they both suck. So yeah. But that is for a whole new post.

Well then, nothing else too exciting going on. I feel like there was something else, but I can't think of it. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

Little ditty...bout Jack and Diane...two American puppies, peeing as much as they can.

Like my new version? I know, I should be a song writer.




PS-notice the new bedspread? Yeah, they peed all over my other two, and I had to borrow one. That is how much I love them.

Crazy

Sometimes I really think I'm crazy. I just gave back the other puppies. And I just got through saying, man, I was REALLY ready to give them back because they were driving me crazy! And then the shelter called and asked if I would like to take some more puppies. And what did my crazy ass say? YES PLEASE! And now, here I sit, with them running around, growling at each other, pooping on the floor, whining like little monsters, and annoying the shit out of me. Oh god, they are so cute though! Jack and Diane. I know, more great names. I don't know, they just come to me. It's a gift I guess. Pictures will come as soon as I remember what I did with my USB thingy. We did have a mini-puppy crisis last night though. It was not good. I decided I would cut their nails myself since they were crazy long and I didn't think it would be that hard. And it really wasn't...until I got to the LAST on and Jack moved and I cut too far. Dogs have veins in their nails, so if you cut too far, it bleeds. A lot. And it takes a long time to make it stop. And so I was freaking out because he had been bleeding for almost 30 minutes and I make a rash decision to drive all the way out to North Charleston to the 24 hour emergency shelter. I'm pretty sure there is one closer..in fact, I know there is now because my dad told me. Where was he last night you ask? I don't know, he didn't answer any of my THREE phone calls. Anyways, I get my neighbor to ride out there with me (it's like, 20 minutes away) and of COURSE when we get there, he stops bleeding. Of course! I wait to make sure it's stopped for good and then I come on home. What a fun little trip. And by fun, I mean completely unnecessary and annoying. But really, I'm just glad my buddy Jack is ok. He is doing fine and currently eating one of my shoes. Awesome. Oh, and you are supposed to use super glue to clot the nail. Just in case you ever cut a dog's nails too short. You never know.

So yeah, after my ridiculous night, I had a equally ridiculous day at work that involved driving back and forth downtown three times and doing a DNA test on a baby that was not even 24 hours old. So so fun. But I joined a gym this week and I actually went this afternoon. On a Friday. Who would ever thought. Also, soccer starts next week and I'm kind of excited. Apparently the kids are too, so that's always a good thing.

Well, more puppy news to come I'm sure. Right now they are knawing on my comforter, which I'm sure is very tasty.

Unrequited Love is such a Bitch

HAHAHA! I love it! And unrequited love is THE story of my life, so I think this cake...cookie? was made especially for me. Seriously, it is beyond ridiculous the things boys have put me through. But somehow, I'm still standing. And I'm ok with it. And I definitely don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for those boys. Ya heard?

So yeah, basically I am not bitter about Valentine's Day. I have had two realllly awkward Valentine's (they came at the beginning of relationships...or should I say relationSHITS...bahahah, thanks Dane Cook) and zero good ones and I am doing just fine without having a Valentine this year. The only thing I was kind of sad about was not being able to buy a cute card at Target. I know, I am so selfless...it's ridiculous. But for real, they have such cute stuff! And I am a sucker for cute stuff...I want to buy it for someone else. But in all honesty, boys don't really appreciate cute stuff, so maybe it's best I don't waste my money on things that go unappreciated. And I know Valentine's is a big, stupid, commercial holiday that was created by card companies and as a single woman, I am supposed to be angry and bitter and cry my lonely self to sleep. However, I see it more as an excuse to tell people you love that you love them. They forget sometimes. True story: I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day the other day and in my pathetic self, the thought that no one cared about me literally crossed my mind (I tend to get overdramatic when I'm hungry and people are mean to me at work...and that was the day I had to give the puppies back). But then I got home and I had gotten two Valentine's Day cards in the mail and it was a lovely reminder that people do, in fact, love me. :)

OH yeah! I saw the Vagina Monologues at the College of Charleston last night. I had mixed feelings. First off, let me just say that I think Vday is one of the greatest organizations ever and I want so badly to work for them. There are so many things that, as a woman, blow my mind. I don't think things are completely equal for us ladies here in the United States, but the atrocities that women suffer in other countries is absolutely appalling. Especially in times of war. Every year they have a spotlight monologue and this year it was for the women of the Congo. And it is absolute insanity what these poor women have to suffer through. I am so so SO grateful to be a woman here in the US, in this day and age. What women are capabale of doing and what they have already done is so amazing. And how women, under the most horrific of circumstances, perserve and manage to make a life for themselves and their families is so incredible. Men underestimate and underappreciate women so very much...it's very disheartening.

Hm, I am kind of rambling. I am having trouble articulating the passion that comes with this cause. But it's big. Humonguous really. Eve Ensler is awesome.

Anyways, as for the actual performance...I have never actually seen it from the audience since I've always been in it. So it was a new perspective. I did enjoy it though, it's so entertaining and it's so fun to watch people that have never seen it react. However, my selfish side came out a little. The Vag Mons have such a special place in my heart from PC and it's hard to seperate MY Vag Mons from other people's. And My Angry Vagina is MY monologue and obviously, I was a pretty harsh critic on the girl that did it. She did a good job though.

Ok, she talked a little too fast and had really bad hair. There. I said what I really feel. I don't really know how I did since I never saw myself, but in my head, I was awesome.

I could probably go on about Vday for ever and ever. So I'll stop myself before I get out of control. In closing, tell people you love that you love them. Tell a women she's awesome. Go see the Vag Mons if you haven't yet. Enlighten yourself. And have a very Happy Valentine's Day.

Ciao ciao Bella e Notte

I had to give the puppies back today. :( It was bittersweet. I was super tired of them waking me up at 5 in the morning, peeing all over my damn floor and especially tired of them fighting and in general, being really loud when I wanted them to be quiet. But they were SO dang cute! I will miss them. But, the vet said I did a "fabulous" job with them. So go me. Because I thought I wasn't doing anything right. Apparently I am practically the puppy whisperer. And, oh my gosh, they got so freaking big! They are seriously going to be HUGE ass dogs. One of my friends might adopt Bella, so that would be awesome. We'll see. I hope she always remembers who her REAL mom is though (me). Now, let's honor them with a slide show. Please enjoy. And sorry some of the pics are sideways. I forgot to fix them before I downloaded them and now I don't feel like re-doing it. Also, there are 145 pics...so prepare yourself.


Also, here are some videos of them being super cute. I don't know if you can stand it.



The water was freezing!!!



And yes, that is me making those freaky noises. Sorry if I creep you out. I kind of creep myself out.

So anyways, I think a puppy break will be good for me...but I hope I get some new ones soon. They make life so much better...and cuter! And, everyone loves me more too! It's great! I wanted to take them to bars and stuff to attract guys, but I thought that might just be a little too much. So I'll just try the beach when it gets warmer.

One last thing. I know it's on the slideshow, but you might not have made it that far (it's like, #104)...but this is my favorite from the other day: Ok favorite two...




Isn't the beach the most fabulous place ever? Yes, I think so too.

Dance Dance

So I thought this was super awesome. Only the first two minutes or so. I don't know why it's so long...but you can keep watching because it's ellen and she's awesome and my favorite. But, I was really just talking about the dancers.



How freaking cool are they?! I am so in love with coordinated dances. Hello, that is why I'm obsessed with cheesy ass dance movies like Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and Step Up, Step Up 2 and Stomp the Yard. First off, learning the main dance in DDHN is one of my life goals. All I need is a super cheesy Cuban (any Latino would work I think..as long as he can dance and has a cute accent) and I am set. And I realllly want to go to go a club and see a dance off like in Step Up. Do things like that really happen? God, that would be so awesome. And I also really really REALLY want to go to a step show! I know I would be the lamest, most gooberest, whitest person there but I would not even give a shit. I think step is so freaking awesome and wish so so bad I could do it. I also really want to go to a Drumline-esq show. I know those exist, but I just don't know when or where. If you hear of anything, let me know. Corey was supposed to take me to a step and/or drum show (b/c he lives in Atlanta and is black, so of course I figured he would know where to go) but he sucks and is all talk and no action...and we don't speak anymore...so that is not happening. How sad. I don't think Charleston has that kind of stuff going on. But I wouldn't really know...out of the very few friends I have down here, a very small percentage of them are black. Am I supposed to say black? I don't know. I think it's ok though, so I'm sticking with it. African-American is too long to type every time. Again, I would ask someone, but my go-to person is gone.

So anyways, if any of you lovely people hear of a throw down somewhere, hook me up because a dance off would make.my.life.

Peace up. C town down.

Color Me Crazy

Isn't that a fabulous saying? Yes, I thought so too.

So. I was browsing through CNN.com this morning. And came across this story:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/04/freezing.death.folo/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
And now I'm confused. And probably going to hell for having this opinion. But I don't really care at the moment because this day has sucked ass so far (it's 10:00 in the morning) and why not just add fuel to the fire? I wish I could figure out how to put the whole article on here..bu I don't feel like getting that fancy right now..so just click on the link and read it.

Ok. So here are my thoughts:

It's terrible that this man died. It's terrible when most people die (I say most because sometimes terrible people need to die...like Hitler), and I'm sure this man was a very nice, lovely person who did not deserve to suffer at the hands of hypothermia.

However. He did not pay his electricity bill. He owed $1,000. I'm pretty sure it's a standard policy if you don't pay your bills, your electricity gets cut off. Same with water, cable, etc. So I don't understand why people are blaming the electricity company for his death and calling it "unforgivable." It's not like they just randomly cut off his heat because they didn't like him and were like, screw you old man. He wasn't discriminated against or treated unfairly...he was treated like everyone else that doesn't pay their bills. And he clearly had enough money to pay since he is allegedly leaving the local hospital $600,000. Surely he could have dipped into his savings to pay his bills. And people's electricity gets cut off all the time. Are all deaths and/or ailments related to cold going to be the fault of companies for not giving people that don't pay power? (Is that a double negative? Hm)

There are some other random things as well. His nephews and neighbors are appalled and shocked that this happened. The man was NINETY-THREE years old. Number one, why is he living by himself and number two, they are now all of the sudden so concerned about him..why was no one checking on him when it was freezing ass cold outside? And furthermore, surely his poor man noticed it was getting a little chilly in his house. He could have called the company or left for somewhere warmer...a neighbor's house..the grocery store..Starbucks..whatever. The nephew is saying the company should have treated this guy differently, they should have noticed he was 93, made note of his previous payment history and made direct contact with him to see what was up. Where on your electic bill does it say your age? And isn't that how most deliquient bill payers start off...they were paying their bills and then they weren't? What would have made his stand out? I think the nephew should have been a little more observant and checked on his uncle. Maybe he was mad because he knew he wasn't getting any of his money. The article says the company stopped the practice of cutting off power to people that don't pay. Because that makes sense. People don't pay their bills..but they still get power. Well, I don't really feel like paying for my groceries, but I should be able to eat. So when I die of starvation, will someone please sue a grocery store in my honor for not giving me free food?

I read a comment from someone that said to protest this man's death, he was not going to pay his bill either. And when they call him to say something, he is going to make sure they know what "jackasses" they are. Good plan dude. And I bet that guy is going to be super pleased when his bill starts going up to cover the cost of people getting free electricity.

Don't get me wrong. I think it's awful that this happened. But is it really the electricity company's fault? I think not. Like most things, it is a combination of unfortunate circumstances and people are just looking for someone to blame.

In general, the news is ridiculous. Other really important headlines on CNN.com included a Korean woman that failed her driving test 771 times and how Donald Trump thinks we are in a depression. Both very important stories. I also love how Columbia police are now lauching an investigation to see whether or not Michael Phelps inhaled when he was hitting that bong. OMG-WHO CARES!?! Phelps is up on a pedestal because people put him there...give him a break! How are they even going to find that out? Even a drug test can't pin point exactly when and where he smoked. I would know. And since the Richland County police obviously don't have anything better to do with their time, maybe they can come down here and investigate an arson case. Because the Charleston police aren't interested in doing it.

Well, I guess that is enough ranting for today. I think I am ging to stick the Onion for my news from now on.

But I am le tired.

I am ALWAYS le tired. Have I talked about this before? I think I have. I'm too tired to remember. It's really very annoying. I would like some energy. When I'm not tired, I am much happier. I think happy thoughts and feel like I can accomplish things. When I'm tired, all I want to do is get in my bed. Which accomplishes nothing other than getting some use out of my sheets. They were pretty cheap sheets, so I'm sure I've gotten my money's worth by now.

Alright, well moving on. I BAKED last weekend. That's right, me. Baking. It was pretty fabulous. Actually, it was the end product that was so fabulous. I made mille-feuille, which is a french dessert that I once had in Italy. So maybe it's Italian as well. I didn't get details. I just remember that it was SO TASTY. One of the tastiest things I have ever tasted. My roommates and I were at some rando restaurant in Italy and we randomly picked this dessert and I've been dreaming about it ever since. One of my roommates asked the owner to write down the name of the name of it...I was embarrassed for her at the time, but now I'm really glad she did. I was pretty terrible at remembering the names of places and food when I was in Italy. Probably because everything was in Italian and that was just a little too much for me to handle. Restaurants were referred to by a nickname or adjective that went along with the experience. The balls restaurant (that referred to dessert balls..not actual balls), the waiters with tight pants restaurant, the crazy man restaurant...you get the idea. Anyways, I made the dessert and it turned out to be really good. Not as good as the original..but nothing ever is, right? Oh, and by made, I mean helped a lot while my friend did most of the work and told me what to do. Still...I bought all the ingredients.

So that's my baking story. Nothing else really exciting is happening in these parts. Besides the puppies. They are so fabulous. And annoying at the same time. Lots of pooping in the house going on. Not cool. I am going to put up their photo montage if I can remember how. It might have to be later.

Oh My

This made me laugh so hard.



More later. I BAKED last night. I need to share.