For your reading pleasure

I'm just going to assume that everyone loved the Glee live blogging. I didn't get any feedback, but I am not phased. I imagine people reading it, simply screaming with laughter! Then I imagined them checking in last week and crying with disappointment because I didn't do it last week. So this week, people will check in and SHRIEK with delight because GUESS WHAT? I'm doing it again!!! You're welcome! Watch with me, won't you?

And away we go!

Scalpers? To sectionals? Yeah right.

Mr. Shue, it's time to move on from red haired lady (I forgot her name). Her hair isn't looking as good anyways.

SHUT UP RACHEL. Can't stand her.

Sweet moves. You did not just say that. Good plan!

Amen, Quinn.

Walked the walk. Again, with the cheesy lingo.

Oh Rachel. You poor selfish goober. Sorry you had to hear that in front of everyone.

Kurt! Looking so snazzy. Are you allowed to transfer schools in the middle of the school year? Probably not. Now you have to take care of this bird. Fun.

New guy. You need to keep quiet.

Really? Counseling? This is insane. Sing about it? How does this woman have a job?

Super hot. Finnnn, you moron. But, you're off the hook now! Yay! No more Rachel.

Love Brittany. Damn cricket.

I want a magic comb! Oh my gosh, he has a comb in his pocket! Hooray Artie!

[commercials: eating Nutella like it's my job. Holy shit, it's so good.]

He's not coming back. Harsh. He's not dead people!

Am badass ador. ME TOO!

YES PUCK! Way to tell that ugly loser what's up. But really, is the football team really the best place for recruits?

YES RACHEL! YES SHUESTER! Shut her stupid ass down! Put that tape back on and never ever take it off unless you are singing.

There are porta (porter) potties at schools?

Yesss, Puck loves the fatty. Did he not shower after the potty incident?

Ok, Santana. You are just being bitchy now. But you still suck Rachel.

Seriously. I don't think Puck showered. Yucky.

[Cute kid! I'm 4. Who cares? But you are precious.]
[Another cute one! What kind of demographic do they think are reaching?]
[I literally cannot handle rom-coms. I'm not emotionally stable enough to watch other people fall in love. I will lose my shit.]
[Black Swan looks creeptastic. I'll pass, thanks]
[BIG LOTS! I want to go to there. I bet they have awesome Christmas decorations!]
[Mmm, Carl's Jr. I wish they delivered. For free.]

Not really. It's shark week. Artie is MY FAVORITE. Asian girl, I forgot your name, but your cheerleader outfit is very silly.

Rachel, you are beyond melodramatic. SHUT YOUR FACE. I wish you would die and then we could see your funeral. I wish I was watching the recorded version right now so I could fast forward. Never got into Evita. Sorry Madonna.

Kurt's version is not making this better for me. Sorry everyone.

I love how those high school boys are just riveted by this singing. Yeah right. Jesus, is she crying? DRY IT UP.

Hahaha, the hands! Thank you other kid (forgot your name too) for nixing that. Blaine?

Would they really let him sing for this long? I would have been like, ok, thank you, I think we've seen enough.

Aw, poor Kurt. And now he gets cut down a few notches. Boo and he thought he was going to be in like Flynn at this new school.

AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, counselor lady! Ouch. Salt on the wound.

Rachel, where is your mouth tape? Put it back on.

[I wonder if an iPad will really make me better at life like the commercial suggests.]
[WAL-MARTTT!!! I miss you. It was nice to see you this weekend, but I wish you were closer]
[Conan, you are hilarious. I love you gossiping in the river]
[Get a Voretx, people will come help you do shit.]
[American Idol, please go away. And take Jennifer Lopez with you. Ellen is gone, I have no love for you]

Aw, they're friends now. The two most annoying people in the group. It's fitting.

OH MY GOD. THEY ARE SINGING "IN THE LIVING YEARS". I AM IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW. THIS IS THE BEST GLEE MOMENT OF ALL TIME. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. These old people are a million times cooler than New Directions. Please make a spin-off show.

Oh, you did NOT just cut them short. Fuckers.

Well, ok, I love this song too. But not as much. How come they get to sing their whole song? Haters on the old people! Ageist! It's a sham.

What is Kurt's problem? His lover is singing. Rejoice and be glad. And you get to be in the front! Maybe that guy wanted the solo for himself! Drama!

Standing O. Precious.

[Verizon, you are being just a tad dramatic about this new phone]
[Bathroom break!]
[Still don't understand 'Your Second Shot.' Is Canon paying for me to go re-take a photo? Because my camera died when I went on a gondola ride on Venice and I would love to re-take some of those photos. Canon? You listening?]
[Romantic Christmas commercials also make me lose my shit]

Why is Rachel having all her drama all up in every one's business? Shut up loser.

Uh, Mr. S. That was the worst pep talk ever. EVER.

Like, being adult. Hahahaha.

Motocross practice? You have to practice for that?

Arttiieee, you are the best ever. And Brittany is PERFECT as his girlfriend. Best couple ever!

Shut up blond kid.

Ohhh snap. Dirty Dancing? In the Living Years is still the best. If they do the little Patrick Swayze walk, I might like it a little more.

Boo, they didn't. Ok, stop this solo nonsense. More dancing please.

Hmm, less Santana singing and more dancing. That is what I'm talking about!

Man, I wish I could dance. I miss dancing. I miss shagging. No one shags in the club. They should. Life would be a lot better.

What happened to the other schools that were there last year? Is it normal there are only 3 schools? I have no idea how these things work.

Wonder who's gonnaa wiiinnnn.

Why are there is only one judge this year? Good speech. You should fill out an organ donor card!It's important!

It's a tie! Not all that surprised.

Poor Will. He's not that great, but unrequited love is the worst.

Rachel, Finn is the only good thing about you. Don't be an idiot. Finn, you are an idiot. But whatever. You're not real so it doesn't matter.

Yay! Drop her.

"You said you'd never break up with me!" Lamest desperate plea ever. I'm sad she just yelled that in the hallway.

Asian kiss?

Finn, do not cry.

Tina! That's her name.

Oh yes, we just had this prepared. Summon the ukulele players, let's jam!

Good song! I wanna be in Glee club! I could be fat random girl number two.

Well, that's all folks. Thanks for joining me. I don't care if you like it or not, I'll do what I want.

Dream big people! :)