12 October 2008

Slightly Pathetic

Right, so I decided that I like being tagged. Mainly because I like writing about myself. Also, it gives me an excuse to post without having to come up with something to talk about. However, because of my limited number of blogger friends (I've got about 1 right now), I don't get tagged very often. So I just stole this tag from another blog I was reading and decided to tag myself. I don't know if that is allowed but I don't care because the 4-5 people that read this probably don't care. They also probably don't care about reading about me, but again, I'm not that concerned. Writing this is mainly therapy for me anyways, so here we go...

8 things I'm passionate about:
I'm really not that passionate about anything, but here are things I would really like/care about and could possibly lead to passion down the road...
1. Music. I love music. And like I said earlier, I love analyzing songs and applying them to my life. Songs can make me cry, but they can also make me really happy.
2. Dancing. Kind of ties in with music. I freaking love dancing and wish I could do it for a living. I would love nothing more than to be on "Dancing with Normal, Everyday People" (its a new show that needs to be developed.) I also really want to dance with Ellen one day and learn the final dance from Dirty Dancing Havana Nights.
3. Writing. I love writing and really want to find a job one day that is a combination of writing, traveling and helping people. That would be awesome.
4. Traveling. I got a little taste in college and want nothing more than to bust up out of the US and go to every country. Seriously. Every single one. I need to get started.
5. Helping people. I like doing the behind the scenes stuff and not the emotional stuff. Like when I do Habitat stuff, I want to hammer and build...not talk to the people. I know, I'm so cold.
6. Reading. Man, I sound like kind of a loser, but there is really nothing better than reading a really good book. I think I am one of a very small amount of 23 year olds that actually utilizes their library card. Awesome, right?
7. My friends and family. I have some really super awesome ones. For real. I don't know how I got so lucky but sometimes my friends just rock my face off. I just wish they all lived closer and not so damn far away. Thank goodness for the internet and cell phones.
8. Women's rights. Well, people's rights in general I guess. Equality is the way to go. I really want to figure out a way to turn this passion into a career. Any thoughts?

8 things I want to do before I die:
1. Travel to every country. I'm hoping science will advance and I'll live a long time, but still be healthy and able. And if that doesn't work, at least go everywhere cool. And I need a shit ton of money.
2. Have a huge, extravagant, bomb ass party for myself. Or a wedding. The wedding might not happen...so I'm not going to limit myself in the event that I will just have to throw an amazing party for myself.
3. Have something published. (this kind of sounds like my bucket list...)
4. Be on TV, in a movie or a play. I guess I need to get an agent.
5. Live on the beach. Not near it...on it. Somewhere that has ridiculously high house insurance.
6. Have something named after me. A friend of my mom's has a scholarship at Notre Dame in her name. I think PC will someday have a jacky g scholarship of awesomeness. I, of course, will decide the criteria. It will involve being awesome.
7. Give money back to places that are important to me...PC, Camp Cherokee, Camp Greenville, my elementary and high schools (not middle, middle school was awful).
8. Fly first class and get wasted on free champagne.

8 things I say often:
1. And....
2. like,
3. Cuss words...I am such a potty mouth!
4. Ok, love you...bye (when talking on the phone)
5. Seriously
6. I know, right?
7. Are you freaking kidding me?!
8. Hi. Can I help you? Who are you taking a test for? Do you have a picture ID with you? Please sign in. Thank you, it will be just a second. (my standard greeting at the pee farm)

8 artists I never tire of listening to:
1. Matt Nathanson
2. Belinda Carlisle (really just Heaven on Earth)
3. Van Morrison
4. Will Hoge
5. Jack Johnson
6. Counting Crows
7. Classical (more of a genre, really)
8. 80s (also a genre...sorry)

8 TV shows I love:
1. Scrubs
2. The Office
3. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
4. 30 Rock
5. Arrested Development
6. The Colbert Report
7. Til Death
8. I love the 80s & 70s (the Vh1 series)
See a pattern? Not a big TV person...but I love me some comedy

8 Things I learned in 2008:
1. I learned a lot about drugs and how they metabolize in your body. Fascinating, I know. I'll tell you all about it someday.
2. I am not as strong or as smart as I thought I was
3. Being a college graduate is not all that fabulous...and I'm not alone in thinking that.
4. You really have to make things happen for yourself.
5. A LOT of people in Charleston County do drugs. Way more than I thought.
6. Just because you are nice to people, it does not mean they are going to be nice back.
7. The real world is expensive
8. You really have to hold tight onto people and things that matter.

Who am I gonna tag?
Haha, umm...my one blogger friend...Sarah! And anyone else that reads this. Let me know!

10 October 2008

One Step at a Time

Quick survey: Does anyone else try to figure out a way to make pretty much any and every song they hear apply to your life? Show of hands. Just me? Ok. Well, yeah, I'm weird but I am constantly hearing songs and being like, Yeah! That's me! I totally agree (insert artist's name here)! Or, sometimes, I even will hunt down a song that applies to whatever life situation I am in at the time. It happens more frequently when I'm feeling sad or profound, so right now I'm digging on that new Leona Lewis song...I don't even know the name of it, but it's about moving on because you have to. Also, I'm all about the Jordin Sparks song, "One Step At a Time." Because a wise friend was telling me that I really just have to take my life one day at time and figure out how to get through each day and not worry so much about what is going to happen in the future. I do that a lot. I also let myself get overwhelmed and think about every negative thing that could possibly or is going on and then I just lose it. Again, you would think I would learn after these episodes happen repeatedly...but I don't. So yeah, I need to figure out how to retain information.


Long story short, I'm feeling A LOT better. I am keeping myself busy and happy and I really think stuff really did happen for a reason and everything is going to work out for the best. It's also nice to know that even though some people don't appreciate you and love you for all you're worth...some people do. I have amazing friends and they are being awesome and helping me out even though they have gone through all this mess before. And, in case you were wondering...I am actually talking about more than one person. But we don't need to get into all that.


I also officially decided I am more mad at the other person. Because I didn't do anything wrong and I was actually a fabulous significant other or whatever I was. Or friend in some situations. But I can't change people. Even though I'm smarter and cooler, not every one thinks like me. Which is unfortunate, but I'm learning how to accept the things I cannot change. And I will smile because I deserve to, thank you.

In more normal, less dramatic news...my foot is covered in ant bites and it freaking HURTS. I kind of want to cut my foot off. I feel like that would probably not be best in the long run though. That would probably just add to my problems...esp since I still don't have health insurance. I'm thinking it could be problematic. Thoughts?

And, OH MY GOSH-I dealt with the most RIDICULOUS person this morning. Seriously, such a bitch. Two bitches actually. But, I don't feel like writing about it so I'll do it tomorrow. For now, my burning foot and I are going to bed.

Peace out, yo.

09 October 2008

Just Like J. Lo

No, I will not be running a marathon, supporting Scientology, having twins, or launching a singing or acting career. I am merely emulating her song, I'm Real. I decided that I'm going to be real (what you get is what you see..or read) today. Not that I'm ever fake really, but there will be no sugar coating today. And this entry is going to be slightly depressing. So just quit reading if you don't want to listen to Debbie Downer (me) whine about life. I'm hoping to get everything out there, use writing as my therapy and then move on. That is really the goal. I don't want to depress people, but it might happen. You've been warned. Also, I'll be speaking in generalizations, but I think we all know what is going on. There will be slightly happier news at the bottom. Feel free to scroll down.

So. Going back to my amazement with time and how much it changes things, I have once again been floored at how even just one hour can flip my life around. I'm back to being heartbroken and it fucking sucks. I don't think there is any worse feeling than realizing that, even though you wish more than anything it wasn't true, someone just doesn't care about you like you want them too. And it's weird because this has happened to me multiple times before, so you would think I would be used to it by now. But I'm not...it hurts every time. I think the most painful thing is knowing that you are not worth it to the other person and they are perfectly ok to let you go and not have you in his/her life. It's that simple. And through a text message too. Ouch.

But the thing is, I can't decide who I'm more mad at...me or the other person. I'm frustrated with myself for a lot of reasons. Mainly because I KNEW BETTER. I knew better than to let this person back in my life. I knew that he/she had a history of breaking my heart and not thinking twice about it. And I don't even understand myself because I knew that it wasn't going anywhere. I know I am going to be leaving the country someday soon (FINGERS CROSSED) and I knew that things were going to end there. Why did I keep fighting for this stupid, pointless, destructive relationship? I used to feel sorry for those pathetic women that were in abusive relationships and would just not leave the person. I was always like, that person is so weak and lame, why don't they just get the hell out. And now I know why. And don't misunderstand, I was NOT being abused and it is NOT the same thing..but there are parallels. It's because you love someone. And I really think love is the most powerful thing ever. It really does make you do stupid, crazy, nonsensical, DUMB ASS things. And I know I'm being melodramatic and cliche, but sometimes that is how I am. Deal with it. And the thing is, I never EVER thought I would be one of those pathetic women. I thought I was better than that. But here I am. Then again, I never thought I would be a lot of things, but here I am. For example, I used to think wearing flip flops with jeans was horribly ugly and uncool. And you better believe it is now a fashion staple for me. I digress. I have learned the hard way that when you really love someone, your feelings and your heart come second. And it sucks more because my extremely smart brain is telling me that I'll be ok but my pesky heart keeps making my tear ducts turn on. It's so annoying.

Don't get me wrong though. I am plenty mad at the other person as well. I can't understand how you can say so much and lead someone to believe that you really and truly care about them...and then just change your mind...again. Twice. That is the worst part. This happened twice. I gave someone a second chance and am in the same situation all over again. But again, it goes back to me...fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And the saddest part is, I think I would give them a third chance. Fool me thrice, someone push me off a bridge. I just keep thinking he/she is somehow going to be struck with wisdom, the clouds will open up and he is FINALLY going to realize what a huge mistake he is making. But it's not going to happen. I think I'm really sad too because a huge chunk of my life is going to be missing. That person was a big deal and now they're not.

I guess I keep going back and forth between blaming myself and blaming the other. I know I'm amazing and awesome and super. So is it my problem that I keep wasting it on people that don't deserve it or is the other person for not appreciating what is right in front of them? I don't even know if that made sense...it did in my head.

Dear readers, I know I need to shut up. I know I need to move on and stop whining. I know that moving on to bigger and better things is what needs to happen. And I think I'm going to do it this time. For real. I am just really sad right now and it is going to take time. I really need that life fast forward button. And also please don't think I spend all my time feeling sorry for myself. Number one, I have lots of stuff going on and I am keeping busy. Number two, I know that much MUCH worse things have happened to other people. I know I am not the first person to suffer through a broken heart and I will definitely not be the last. I just felt like this was an outlet to leave it all on the table and hopefully a way to help me walk away from it all.
Hm, also...I just looked up the "I'm Real" lyrics and they really don't apply to this situation at all. But whatever, I was still real. Just maybe not in true J.Lo style. That's cool, she is kind of pyscho anyways.




See what I mean? What kind of sane person would wear that?


So, in other news:


I won both my softball games last night! Hooray! And I didn't do horrible. I get really nervous playing with the new team because they are more hardcore and better than my other team. But, I did not embarass myself last night other than one missed grounder. And, I batted well, which was a welcome change.


Oh yeah! Homecoming was super fun! I had a great time, which was kind of unexpected. But still, a pleasant surprise. I saw lots of good friends and had a very good, drunk time. Exactly what I wanted. I did get a little upset though, because the stupid ticket lady gave everyone free tickets that had their student ID...and then I tried to use mine and she was all, what is your ID number? You don't still go here do you? UGH! Punk! She caught me. But then I got all sassy and was like, you didn't check everyone elses! She said, yes I did! I said, no you did not because you just gave everyone else that graduated with me a free ticket! Then I ran away so she wouldn't yell at me. I was drunk..but not fearless quite yet. So boo on getting caught and having to spend $15 on a ticket. I don't feel bad though...I mean, there are tons of students that don't go to the game...I was just using one of theirs! And, there are tons of times I didn't use my free ticket, so I think it would have been ok for me to get in for free. But whatever. And, I lost my black fleece. Which really pisses me off. One, because I didn't even use it. Two, because it was expensive. Three, I just bought it last year. And four, I know someone out there has it and they KNOW it's mine because it has my freaking name on the tag. Grrr.

Hm, that's about it for jacky news. Sorry again for the sad rant, but I needed to get it out. I feel better already. Feel free to send distractions my way.

Later dudes.

03 October 2008

We Want the Funk

Just thought I would share this video because I think it is so hilarious and cute. Also, I have nothing else interesting to share really, so why not?



And, sweet! I figured out how to post videos. Get excited people, because I'm sure lots more are coming your way. I love those kids! I don't have a Mastercard, but I just might get one now. I wonder if they all get free Mastercards for being in that commercial. I also wonder if they are really that cool in person. Probably not. I love funny commercials. They make my life. There are some Katrina and I find hilarious but no one else seems to think so, so I'm not going to share. Maybe I'll put the Jesus videos on here one day...those things are hysterical. Unless you're really into Jesus...then you might not think so.

Other than that, my U13 team lost...again. We have not won a single game and we've only scored one goal the whole season. Sound familiar? Yeah, sounds like the 5 and 6 year old team I had. I don't know if this means I'm a bad coach or if it means that since I'm not a parent, they just give me the crappy team. I don't know. I don't really know what else I can do...these kids do NOT listen! And they are pretty lazy and never want to get after the ball, so that could be a factor in them not scoring any goals. It's a possibility. There is also one child on the team I would really like to see move away and not come back. He sucks so bad. And not just at soccer...at life in general. That's pretty bad when you're only 11 and already sucking at life. He's got a long, sucky life ahead of him.

Anyways, we still need a third roommate. PLEASE let me know if you know anyone that is not sketchy, clean and fun. Very basic requirements to live in pretty much the coolest house ever.

Going to Homecoming this weekend. I'll keep you posted on how that goes. I am neutral about it right now. Could be awesome. Could be terrible. Fingers crossed for awesome.

Later skater.

24 September 2008

Time

Ok, so that title is lame, but I'm feeling lame today so whatever. I am also feeling slightly psycho, so bear with me. This blog is going to be all over the place. So is my life, so it works. But it also makes me out to be a crazy person...but I kind of am, so yeah...shutting up now and moving on. I'll let you decide for yourselves whether or not you should still be my friend/loyal reader, or perhaps distance yourself for fear of catching some of the crazy.

So I've been thinking about time a lot lately. And how sometimes I really wish I had a life rewind button and other times a fast forward one. Today is especially interesting to me because today is the day I came home from Wyoming exactly a year ago. It is absolutely INSANE to me how much happens in a year. One year and everything is different. But at the same time, one year later and so much is the same. It's weird. I don't know if anything else is baffled by change, but it throws me every time. I know I should be used to it by now, but I still am just like, wtf is going on here? And by here, I mean my life. My own life baffles me and I would love to figure it out, but I don't think that is happening anytime soon. Like I said, sometimes I wish I could rewind it so I could go back and revisit happy times. Not that I want to go back and re-live the past...I just want to visit and be really happy again. Because I am not super happy right now. But I think I will be in the future sometime and that is why I want a fast-forward button. Just to by pass all this nonsense and get to the good stuff. However, if anything, I am so glad to be out of Wyoming. So yay for a year separating me and that atrocity.

Also crazy how much changes in a week, or even a day. Just this past weekend I was a sad little ball of pathetic-ness and here I am three days later with a new outlook on life. My problem is that when something bad happens, I freak out and let it ruin my life (temporarily), which includes lots of crying and moping and not eating. Then I eat something, actually get off the couch and life is SO much better. I just let myself forget that everything is going to be ok and nothing is really that bad and I need to shut up and get up. So, readers, next time you hear of me being sad, someone please give me a reality slap, tell me to shut up and force me to eat something and take a walk.

Something random: On facebook the other day (I know, I spend way to much time on there, but I'm addicted and extremely bored at work), I sign on to see" __________ ________ [names extracted to not embarrass people] took the which mighty woman of the Bible are you most like? quiz. Seriously. I seriously signed on to facebook and saw this. And then I died laughing. Facebook is out.of.control. Those quizzes are crazy and how in the world I ended up being facebook friends with someone that would even take such a thing, I don't know. So of course, I decided to take it. I am Deborah. I'm not going to lie, I have no idea who that even is. I thought for sure I was going to be the Virgin Mary, but I was wrong. Here is my little description: "You aren't afraid to speak your mind. You know what you want, and go for it. You are motivated, and you revel in personal victories. You are wise in many ways, and you know well, and trust the God you serve. You are courageous, and can look fear in the face. You are a victor."
Kind of accurate? I guess...I don't know. I feel like such a heathen. Plus I couldn't really answer the questions very honestly because they were things like, "What bible verse do you most relate to?" And since I don't really read the bible, I had to just pick randomly. There was another one, "At a milk n' cookies party, what would you be doing?" Now, I have never been to a milk and cookies party, so I just replaced milk and cookies with fraternity and put me down as "laughing and have a great time!" So I guess that works. The answers were almost as ridiculous as the questions. Do yourself a favor and take the quiz. Then let me know which mighty woman you are and we can be cool and have a discussion or something. Or maybe someone out there can tell me who Deborah is and I'll decide how I feel about her.

Now that I have covered all the crazy bases, I'm going to shut up. Work is almost over (yay!..and yes, I write this at work instead of doing productive things) and I have a soccer game tonight. Gotta get in the zone. Go team Hitt. (Still don't know what Hitt is).

Later dudes.

19 September 2008

Smile, though your heart is aching

So my mom always told me that even when you're really sad, it's best just to pretend that you're happy and fine because eventually you actually will be happy and fine. So that is what I'm going to do. I am only going to share my good news, even though I am not happy nor fine...actually quite the opposite. But moving on. (And, dear readers, don't be too worried...it's just a broken heart. I'll live.)

Moving on, I don't think I shared, but I pretty much got the best sponsor ever for me and JC's U18 soccer team. Ready for it??? Drummmmrooollll......CHIC-FIL-A! YAY! Seriously, how awesome is that? That means we get free food AND a spot on the wall by the bathroom. Bascially, I'm going to be famous, via Chic-Fil-A. Also, our shirts are red, which is my fave color. Only problem is that they give the coaches XL shirts, so it's pretty much a dress on me and I look like an idiot wearing it. And that's irritating because now I have three, nonwearable t-shirts. Our U13 team is Hitt and I have no idea what or who that even is. I know there is a website on our shirts, but I have yet to check it out. And who really cares anyways, because our other team is Chic-Fil-A and that is awesome. Also, our poor little U13 team lost 9-0 at our first game on Monday and it was a diaster. One kid was crying. He played goalie first half and got about 7 goals scored on him. And, as a retired keeper, I know how much that shit sucks. So I feel for him. We switched keepers in the second half and only 2 goals were scored, so that just added insult to injury.

More good news...we got cable! YAY! And don't worry, I took full advantage of it yesterday by watching TV for like, 5 hours straight. Whoa, I know, sad, but I have to make up for lost time. We also got internet, but I couldn't get it to work on my computer. Hopefully we'll get the wireless up and running sometime soon. One step at a time. Isn't that right Jordin?

Hmmm...other good news. There is a possibility I will be getting health benefits here at the pee farm in the near future. Promises have been made before, but fingers crossed that something actually happens this time.

Well, that is about it. I am going to spend the rest of the day smiling really hard. Because maybe tomorrow the sun will come shining through for me.

17 September 2008

You Got Tagged

By you, I mean me. So here ya go, enjoy....

A - Attached or Single? Single. Unrequited love is such a bitch
B - Best friend(s): I have a lot. The real ones are who read this thing.
C - Cake or pie? Hm, depends on what kind. But once I had this dessert in Italy that was one of the best things I've ever had and I'm pretty sure it was pie...so I would have to go with that.
D - Drink of choice? Water...cream soda if I'm feeling special
E - Essential item: the internet, my car
F - Favorite color: Big fan of red
G - Gummi bears or worms? They taste the same.
H - Hometown: Charleston, SC (even though I was born in Jacksonville, FL)
I - Indulgence: TV and food
J - January or February? January. Valentine's Day is stupid
K - Kids: ...are dumb
L - Life, for me, is incomplete without: Dancing, laughing, and randomness....I agree with Sarah. Add sleeping
M - Marriage date: Sept. 21st. But not this coming up one. Or any one in the near future...that is just the day so I can play the song at my wedding and then celebrate with it every year.
N - Number of siblings: 1 brother, 1 sister, 1 step-brother and 2 step-sisters.
O - Oranges or Apples? Apples, red delicious...the crispy ones. Mushy apples are gross.
P - Phobia/Fears: becoming extremely fat...like to the point of not being able move around. Also getting sad and never being able to get happy again.
Q - Favorite quote: "Keep laughing, even when you are under stress." Jerman Disasa
R - Reasons to smile: Going to the beach after work, my friends, new shoes
S - Season: spring and fall.
T - Tag Ten: hahaha. like 10 people read this blog. I'm tagging anyone that does...get back to me.
U - Unknown fact about me: I really want to be famous
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? HAHAHA. Is that the best you could come up with for V? Who made this? Biased much? Opressor of animals and I'm not ashamed.
W - Worst habit: overthinking everything, crying, and being super critical
X - X-rays or Ultrasounds: I had an ultrasound once and it was not fun, so probably X-rays
Y - Your favorite foods: Oh my. Sushi, crepes, french fries, the list goes on forever.
Z - Zodiac: Leo. And sometimes I think that stuff is really on point. Scary.

Also, people, just a heads up. This girl is down in the dumps. Feel free to send some love my way. More later.

11 September 2008

shiny happy jacky

Alright people, I've calmed down a bit since yesterday. Whew, thank goodness...heads are no longer going to roll. And, you're probably thinking..Whoa! What is this treat?! Two posts in a ROW! That's right folks, today is your LUCKY DAY! Thank your lucky stars and say an extra thank you prayer tonight because this is no joke.

I mainly just wanted everyone to see this new website I found because it is awesome and hilarious. More ways to entertain myself at work! YAY! Here is the link: http://www.wwtdd.com/
And here is an exerpt from one of my favorite posts, from the Jessica Simpson site:
"If you’re reading this somewhere other than the United States today, you should know that today is our birthday. The US has been awesome for 232 years now, and so today all of us bad ass motherfuckin Americans will celebrate by putting our hot chicks in bikinis and shooting fireworks at each other. The point being, things will probably be kind of slow today, so my condolences if you’re bored. Also, my condolences if you're not American. I read in the bible that if god didn’t make you American, it’s because he hates you, so you’re kind of screwed."

hahahahaha! That last line is the best. Another fave is when he is talking about Britney Spears (who is a big fucking moron, btw) and says, "She's a modern day Solomon, people often say." OH MY. So funny. I just love me some sarcasm. And my VERY favorite line (Hm, maybe you should just look at the site instead of me re posting everything on here. Whatev, here it is...)..."What Would Tyler Durden Do" is a blog focused on bringing you the latest gossip and news about rich and famous celebrities. And then making fun of them. Why? Because fuck them, that's why."
Because fuck them, that's why. I LOVE IT. Mainly because I freakin HATE celebrities and how fucking retarded they are and how they are a huge waste of space and especially a HUGE waste of money. But no more ranting about them. I am shiny happy jacky today.

I am especially happy because I'm going to Atlanta this weekend and I am super pumped! I am also pumped because it is currently almost 5:00 which means I get to GO HOME! YAY! And we have soccer practice today, which gives me something to do, also making happy. Even though I will probably get a thousand more bug bites to add to my million current bug bites on my legs...oh well.

And we still haven't found a third roommate, but we're also not dwelling on it because shiny happy jacky does not do things like that. Even though that girl can still suck it. The US department of immigration can also suck it...but that's a whole new story.

I would also like to say that the new facebook is the stupidest thing ever. It makes it a lot harder to follow and it really just looks stupid. Who is making these decisions at fb? We need to have a chat.

And lastly, did I ever share that a woman at work threatened to slap me? It was pretty funny. She didn't want to give up her hair because it was "all natural." Which was a lie because she was most obviously wearing a wig. And then after she got kicked out for threatening physical violence, she asked if her eyebrows would be enough hair to send out. Seriously? You are willing to shave off your EYEBROWS but not willing to give up a tiny bit of hair? WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE?! Crazy crazy.

Oh, and if anyone was wondering, I gave up on reading Catch-22. Unless anyone can make a compelling argument for me to finish it, I won't be picking it back up.

Thank you. That is all. Godspeed.

09 September 2008

GRRRRR

People, I am PISSED. And, very similar to last weekend...it's over something somewhat minor that I probably should not be so angry about. Of course, I blow it up in my head and come up with all these reasons as to why I am entitled to be very very angry. But in all reality, I should probably take a chill pill. I am all over the place right now, so bear with me..but, I really think something is wrong with me. It is possibly the birth control I'm on...it's new and I think there is a very real chance it is making me crazy. I'm going to try and switch soon. Other than being INSANE with anger these days, I have also been crazy hungry like, ALL the time. It's actually pretty annoying. I eat. A lot. And still I feel like I am never satisfied. It's really very strange...since just a few weeks ago I would eat like, half a sandwich and feel super full. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I don't know. I also have to pee constantly. I realize these are not life threatening symptoms...but they are rather annoying and I would like to get back to my regular, only crazy every now and then life. Oh yeah, and I'm super tired pretty much all the time, even after sleeping for the recommended 7-8 hours. Don't make no sense.

But anyways, here is why I'm angry: Stupid buttface girl that we interviewed as a potential roommate has now backed out on us and we are back to square one. And yes, I realize this kind of thing happens all the time and I need to get over it but I've taken it personally. And this is why I think there is something wrong with me. I should probably shrug my shoulders, say her loss and get the fuck over it. But I just can't let it go. I am super angry towards her right now. I also REALLY REALLY don't want to go back to the drawing board to figure out who is going to move in. Honestly, if it could just be me and Liz...that would be awesome. Expensive..but awesome. Then I could make the third room my office/study/whatever else I feel like doing in there. And I don't need either of those things since I don't bring work home or study for anything...but it would be nice to feel important and rich enough to have such a room. But, that is not happening so we HAVE to find a third person and right now our only options are bagpipes boy and random boy we can't actually meet because he is in PA. DAMMIT.

Oh, and I was mad this weekend because it was supposed to be Tropical Storm weather, but instead it was freaking beautiful. I know, and it's like, wtf jacky, why are you mad? But that really just started it off. I was slightly irritated because I had all these rainy day plans and then they got all F-ed up with the nice weather, but I still had to do them but really I just wanted to go to the beach. Then my nose ring fell down the sink and I had to buy this weird one from Claires...just having to go to Claires actually was annoying. And I also spent the day fabric shopping with my mom and that made me want to hurt someone. She and I do not have the same taste in decorating and she thinks everything I suggest is stupid and will look ugly. She also thinks she is an expert...which she kind of is since that was her job for a while..but whatever. I felt bad though because and my step dad were being nice and helpful...but I really just wanted to go to the damn beach. Not reupholster a silk screen.

I need to move on. I have things to look forward to. Dinner with someone awesome on Friday. A weekend with people I love. And, this is far off..but I'm going to see "WICKED" next month! SO PUMPED! I've already seen it once, but I am just as stoked about seeing it again. It's wicked awesome people...you should see it too.

Also, we had soccer practice again yesterday and it actually went kind of well. I don't have any idea what I'm doing, but I think I do a pretty good job of faking it. Except there was this one kid that was super annoying and I kept telling him to be quiet and I wouldn't let him be goalie because he kept asking. So yeah, then after practice JC tells me he is slightly autistic. He forgot to mention that after speaking with his dad. So JC was off coaching our other team and I was being mean to the autistic child. I SUCK. Things that would have been helpful to know YESTERDAY (The Wedding Singer? Am I right here? I'm bad with movie quotes).

So I'm going to try and just get over myself...but be advised not to send bad news my way or I might break something. Like your face. You have been warned.

Later dudes.

03 September 2008

Lame

What?! Has it really been since August 20 since my last post? So sorry dear readers...but really, it's because nothing interesting has been going on. It's really quite sad. I wish I had something fun and exciting to report...but I got nothing. So I guess I'll ramble about nothing since I'm pretty good at it.

Oh, in case you were worried...my sister is going to move into the house. Actually, she already has. Last night was night two of the sister move-in and so far, so good. She was a little pushy when we went grocery shopping, as well as about me cleaning up, but I think I set her straight. I was super tired, so I was not really in the mood for shopping or cleaning, even though she clearly was. Also, for some reason, she is now under the impression that we should do all our grocery shopping together and have joint meals all the time...but I just don't think that is going to work. I am too lazy to cook all the time and we don't really have the same tastes. We are still in the process of looking for a third roomie. We have talked to a few people and are going to make a decision by Friday. I'm a little nervous cause you never know what you're going to get when you let a perfect stranger move into your house, so we'll see. I am excited though because now the house looks nicer (and cleaner!) AND we are getting cable and internet! Hooray! I will finally be connected the outside world once again. And I'll be able to write this from home and not from work, where I don't think my creative jucies really flow freely.

Hurricane Hanna is headed this way. Get your windows boarded up people, and head for the hills. Honestly, and I'm going to straight to hell for this, but I kind of hope it hits. Not because I want to see Charleston destroyed or flooded, but beacuse it would mean another 3 day weekend! And, a three day work wee! And how fabulous would that be?! Super fabulous. I know, I know..that is awful of me..but I'm really sick of working and I am not sick of weekends, so it would be a perfect trade-off. Fingers crossed for Hanna. Maybe just a small Hanna...not a big, scary Hanna. We don't need a Hugo repeat.

I had a bunch of other stuff ready that I was going to ramble about, but I've forgotten what the topics were, so I think I'll just shut up instead.

Later dudes.

21 August 2008

Satiny Smooth

Oh me, oh my. Lots has happened since my last post. Lots of not so fabulous things, sadly. My life is slowly but surely unraveling at the seams and I am spinning off into the unknown. Ok, so not quite that dramatic..but things have been sucking pretty bad lately. But there is a bright spot in all of this that ties the title in (oh my, look at all that awesome alliteration!), so just wait. I am going to complain first and then I'll get to the good stuff. That is how I roll..I want to end on a good note.

Ok, so first off-work is kind of sucking lately. It's been really slow and I hate when it's slow because I get bored. There are only so many internet sites I can look at before I go crazy. Besides, I get fussed at for being on the internet and not working...but if it's slow, there is nothing to do but look at the internet. A horrible catch-22 (I'm reading that book right now) if you ask me. There are only so many times I can clean the office and re-organize the back room. I also don't like getting fussed at. It seriously pisses me off...and it's especially frustrating when it's my dad...then it gets super personal. But I will say that things are slightly better now that we hired some people to help me out. Me not having to do all the testing is wonderful...now I just get to yell at the crazies and don't actually have to deal with them the whole time. And having people say, "let me ask/get my manager," and then coming to ME is pretty awesome.

Next up, the housing sitch (that is short for situation, fyi). The house was pretty much going fabulously, short of some minor issues involving a dirty kitchen and an extremely dirty bathroom. It is (was) great because I'm not on the lease, I like and trust my roommates (even if they are dirty), it's a great location, and it's super cheap. Problem comes in last week when my roomies inform me that they are moving back in with their parents (they are brothers) to save money. Which is fine...only they want to leave by the end of the month. Which, last week was 2 weeks...and is now just a week and a half away. This puts me in a difficult situation. I really really REALLY don't want to move. Like I said, great location and there is no way I'm going to find somewhere this great for this price. So now what? I don't really want to find new roomies off craigslist because that is sketchy. I seriously don't want to move back home...even though that would make the most sense because I would save money. But, I would also probably kill someone. So you have to consider that. There is a possibility that my sister could move in...but that could prove to be horrible since sometimes I want to punch her in the face. She gets aggravating. So, what to do? I still haven't really figured it out. I am kind of avoiding it because I get frustrated...but that is really stupid of me since my time to make a decision is running out. So, dear readers, if you or anyone you know would like to relocate to the fabulous Mt. Pleasant (only 10 minutes to the beach!) for an extremely low price, let me know! I gotta figure this shit out!

Ugh. So that sucks and has been weighing me down lately. BUT-now for the good/funny news. I went to Atlanta this weekend and had a very fabulous time. I got taken out to a fancy restaurant for my birthday and then got to go salsa dancing. The combo of good food and dancing is fabulous since it is two of my favorite things...it got even better when we went home and....went to sleep! My first love. I also got to see people I love and miss a lot, so that was also nice. So here is where the title comes in. Silly boy(hopefully you know who I'm talking about) is moving into a new house and needs new sheets. Boy goes to Ross (good choice!) to purchase some nice sheets at a nice price. Can't go wrong with Ross, right? WRONG. Boy comes home with SATIN sheets. Seriously. Who buys satin sheets? Oh wait, it gets better. Boy buys TWO sets of them! One in black, and one in a lovely copper color. Oh, still gets better. Guess who makes these folds of satiny goodness. Ralph Lauren? No.... Tommy Hilfiger? Nope! Drum roll....Playboy! Yay, so now, sleeping in these black, satin, Playboy sheets, I feel like a whore. And I also feel very hot and clammy because satin sheets do not breathe or absorb moisture AT ALL. It just traps it there beneath the comforter, allowing you to roast while sleeping. Also, if you move your head slightly, your pillow goes flying off the bed because everything is so slippery. The only fun part is seeing how far you can make things slide...like cell phones.

So, that's all. It was a fun/funny weekend and I had to come back home to my lame/uncertain life and it sucked a lot. So I'm planning another trip to Atlanta very soon. Mainly so I can sleep in the sheets again, I'm not going to lie. You know you're jealous. Visit your neighborhood Ross...maybe you can buy a set of your very own!

Ciao people.

14 August 2008

oh my my, oh hell yes

That is the first thing that popped in my head (the title). Doesn't really mean anything...in case you were wondering.

Man, I know it's been awhile beloved readers. And I apologize. But, nothing really exciting has been happening lately. Well, except for my awesome 80s party...which kicked ass. Seriously, I had a blast. Mainly because I was pretty drunk. But also because lots of my amazing friends came and we had a fabulous time. There was laughing, dancing, beer ponging...and then creepo at the end of the night. There were two random guys left at the end of the night that would not leave...even after everyone else had gone to bed. The only people were left were me, Katrina and Carter...and we didn't even know their names! We had to run off to bed to get them to leave. It was weird. But other than that freako...it was great fun.

So, other than that...life has been pretty same old, same old. We got two new workers at the pee farm. The girl is pretty cool..but the guy just started and he is kind of driving me crazy...and it's only been two days. He just doesn't seem to be catching on as quickly as I hoped. I'll keep you updated though. I'm hoping things will get better.

No more serious threats to get sued though. Just lots of crazy people with stupid and annoying questions and complaints. So, good times as always.

Hm, well I'm headed to Atlanta this weekend. So that should be fun. Sorry I'm so lame today, but I am just not feeling it right now. But I did want to put something out there so my devoted fans didn't get worried. I'll be back in full swing soon people...just you wait.

Ciao ciao :)

26 July 2008

All my life's a circle...

Hm, tear for the circle song(s). Both from Camp Cherokee where I went as a camper (and did a small stint as a counselor) and from Camp Greenville...where I was a counselor and we sang Joni Mitchell. Which was strange..but still good times. And they were two different songs, in case you were curious. Aw man, I miss camp. Pretty much my favorite times ever. Sigh.



So moving on, the circle song fits this blog because I feel like I have come full circle from when I first began. Because I have a crazy to talk about from the pee farm! Two actually! And that is why I (re)started the blog in the first place...to talk about the crazy/interesting people I encounter. But then they started tapering off, so I moved on to other random, ridiculous subjects. Also, I am back to looking for a job, which also had kind of tapered off but is not back in full force (still taking suggestions should my faithful readers have any).



Ok, so apparently the pee farm is going to get sued and we are all going to lose our jobs (as is everyone at DSS) by not one, but two people! I know! You ask, what on earth did you possibly do to screw up that bad that TWO people hate you and wish that you get fired. Well, obviously we are out to get them and deliberately messed up their test so they showed up positive INSTEAD of negative like they were supposed to because they...."never done did drugs in their WHOLE life." Hahaha, sound familiar? If you're a good reader, it will. If not, do some backtracking and get back to me. Also, these people have not only NEVER done the drugs but they HATE drugs. HATE EM! Would never touch or go near them and don't even hang out with people that do. So, how all that cocaine got into their system, I have no idea. But I guess I better figure out quick, or it'll cost me my job! Haha! Not really though, so don't get all anxious and concerned for me (as I know you were headed) because we don't even do the test here at the office, so if anything, those jerks at the laboratory are going down. In fact, as the crazy man put, "those people that do the test must be on crack cause I don't do no crack." So yeah, watch out lab tester, people are on to you. And while the man was amusing, the crazy woman was even better. She was fired up, let me tell you! And she was not pleased with me or Brad (my coworker) because we were "lying on her" and didn't want her to get her daughter back. I'm like, ok, first off lady, all I do is report the results...I don't test the hair or just arbitrarily decide whether or not people are positive...I just send the results that are sent to me. Secondly, I have no knowledge of why you're involved with DSS, so I didn't know, nor do I care whether or not you get your daughter back. And I hate to be rude, but the way this lady was acting, she didn't need to be any one's mama. And if she wasn't on drugs like she insisted, then she needed some other kind of help because she was acting some kind of crazy. Also, she peed all over the floor. Seriously. Who does that? And, my personal favorite...she accused Brad of lying to her and telling her that the hair test took 2 weeks to come back when it really only takes 2-3 days. And that doesn't make any damn sense because a.) Brad knows it only takes 2-3 days and wouldn't say it took 2 weeks b.) I'M the one that did her hair test, so I would have been talking to her about it and c.) what the hell difference would it make anyways? Two weeks later, she still would have been positive. Also, she called her case worker and was like, bitching her out and going on and on about how she was going to get her fired and all this and then at the end she's like..."God bless you. Have a blessed day. Bye." So funny.

All in all, people are crazy. It's funny. More to come later.

19 July 2008

A lot of brown bread is just white bread colored brown

Um, so I'm a retard and don't know how to upload the actual video to this thing, so here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMBXJ9I3pJM

Please enjoy.

Also, I don't believe that is how that woman makes bread. Her coat is way to heinous for her to score a man like that baking bread for her.

16 July 2008

I hope you go to fart and accidentally shit your pants instead

Oh goodness, how crude and disgusting is my title?! But seriously, I think my audience (of 2...possibly 3) will appreciate it. At least I hope they do, otherwise I'll be down to zero readers...how sad would that be? But just to be on the safe side, here is a disclaimer: This blog is slightly gross. Read no further should you have a weak stomach or would rather not think about bodily functions at this time. Scroll down to the stars and you will be spared. Thank you.

So anyways, Sarah's blog (http://sarah-hot.blogspot.com/) got me thinking about farts. And how I've always thought they were the funniest thing ever. And I mean ever. Sometimes, other things make me laugh really hard...but farting does it every time. Think about it. It's always funny. It's universal...two people that don't even speak the same langauge can laugh about a fart. Nothing is funnier. I mean, other stuff is funny...like falling. But, what if someone (or you) fell and farted at the same time? Hysterical! It never fails! I mean, I realize I am gross for laughing and I kind of fail at being a girl for thinking it's funny and not disgusting (seriously, Katrina hates me for it), but I just can't help it. I've always thought I was missing a few girl genes anyways. Not important ones like boobs or anything, don't worry. Just minor things like thinking burps and farts are funny, actually liking video games, and not wanting to have babies. Small potatoes.

The title of the blog refers to sharting, though. That is an entirely different matter. Again, I'm disgusting, but for some reason, this subject has been coming up a lot lately. Sharting, for anyone that doesn't know, is just what my title says. When you think you are going to fart and a little more comes out instead. It's actually not all that funny. Well, it's not funny until you have distanced yourself from the actual event, have had time to come to terms with it, and are comfortable enough to tell the story to someone else. I haven't really come to terms with my story yet...so I'm not going to share. I will say it was horrible though. I cried a little. I am hoping it never happens again. I have been told other people's stories, however, and those were funny. So I have hope that one day mine will be amusing as well. Not today. And as far as me wishing it upon someone else (like the title says), I didn't really say that to anyone. Rather, someone said it to me. I know, awful right?! But he was just kidding, no worries. It was the only line an email and to this day, it cracks me up. I've gotten some pretty awesome emails in my day (including ones with poetry from the fabulous Sarah), but that one remains my favorite.

So, in summary, yay farting, boo sharting.

****************************************
Ok, so this is the not gross portion of the blog. Not too much to report here, sadly. Had a terribly lame last week and weekend. Seriously, you might think your weekend was lame, but mine consisted of reading, sitting outside (by myself..not even at the beach), doing laundry, more reading, more laundry, and sitting at the beach with my grandparents, mom and stepdad, and uncles. No one under 40. I am so awesome. But whatever, because the next two weekends are going to be awesome and will hopefully make up for what this past one lacked.

Oh, and last night I got called a "perfect little bitch" by my uncle. I know, so nice right? Granted, I was being kind of bitchy..but he was still a little out of line. Esp since I wasn't even a bitch to him, I was a bitch to his partner. Who, instead of talking to me about the problem, decided to go upstairs and pout. I mean, how old are you? Right. So anyways, I felt bad because I kind of put a damper on my grandparents FIFTY SECOND wedding anniversary (more about that later), but I apologized so I think all is well. At least my grandparents seemed ok and I don't really care about the other two, so whatever. My mom decided to yell at me as well, but again, whatever. She'll get over herself. Also, I know I can be a bitch..but I am far from perfect. Come on now, let's at least be realistic.

But yeah, my grandparents have been married FIFTY TWO freakin years! How insane is that? Hm, I feel kind of bad about lumping this information in with farting and sharting, but what can you do? Anyways, I can't even begin to imagine being married to someone for that long. It's complete madness. I can't even imagine being that old! Or being married at all! And they are still kickin too....both of them are healthy and alert and live on their own. It's pretty awesome. And this is awesome too...this week, they are going to Texas to visit my grandmother's college roommate! I think that is so cool. I really hope Mary and I will be visiting each other when we are super old and have been married for a long ass time. Well, maybe she will...when I'm 75 I'll either not be married at all..or will have only been married for like, 25 years, haha.

Ok, I think I've covered enough random topics for one blog. Oh! One more thing: http://icedcocofashion.blogspot.com/
Yet another fabulously funny website to make fun of celebreties and the stupid ways they spend their money. (Thanks Kami!) Enjoy! :)

Ciaoooooo!

02 July 2008

My Bucket List

So, guess what I just watched...."The Bucket List!" Gee, how did you ever guess? Yeah, so I'm sure I'm just like every other person that saw that movie and then was like, hmmmm...I wonder what my bucket list would be. Honestly, other than travel anywhere and everywhere...I couldn't come up with very much stuff. I think I am already on the right track though. I read one once that was in a magazine and was geared towards women, and I had already done most of the stuff...get a tattoo, cut all your hair off, go skydiving, live in another country...check check check. There was other stuff too, but some of it was pretty lame. I did come up with a pretty lengthy list of places I want to visit, but I decided a bucket list can't all be about going places. I need stuff to do as well. So I also added "have a one night stand" and "go on a cruise." Yeah, I'm feeling pretty shallow these days apparently because I really couldn't come up with anything else. I also want to do the Peace Corps as well, so I guess that balances things out a little. Hm, I also think I want to get my writing published one day. So maybe my list isn't so bad after all. Anyone else have anything cool they want to do? I always steal other people's good ideas though, so keep them to yourself if you don't want it added on to my list as well. I have no shame when it comes to bucket list theft. I've never really had any goals for myself or my life...no direction really so I'm not that surprised that I have so few bucket list items. The ones in the movie were ok..but not really things I would want to do. Maybe drive a race car instead of a mustang or whatever, but everything else (kiss the most beautiful girl in the world) would not make my list.

Um, so in other news...I am back to working at the pee farm solo these days. So far, it really hasn't been that bad. I still hate testing people, but we haven't had any crazies or any especially rude people so I haven't lost it yet. Hopefully Wednesday and Thursday will go smoothly and I'll be set after that. We have Friday off and hopefully we will hire someone to start next week and I will pass all the testing on to someone else. We have been interviewing, and so far everyone seems nice and capable. One guy was way overdosed in cologne though, so that is not going to to work because I seriously couldn't breathe while he was in here. I was kind of hoping to hire a hottie, just to make things interesting, but I don't think that is going to happen since only about 4 guys have replied and like, 30 girls have. And they are all mainly older people and we all know I don't do older. Well, maybe we all didn't know that, but we do now.

Softball is going well. There is one girl I would really like to hit in the face, but she rarely shows up for games, so it's all good. When she does I just stick her in the outfield. We had a game yesterday and only had 4 girls show up at first (eventually 3 more came), but it's aggravating because I mean, if you sign your kid up for something, you need to make sure they participate! It's not that hard people! Actually, I wouldn't know, it probably is really hard to have kids and make sure they are where they are supposed to be at the right time. But, that is why I'm not having kids...way to much hassle.

Hm, well other than that, nothing exciting going on. I am super pumped about 4th of July fireworks though! Something to look forward too! And, planning the 80s birthday bash as well...I need to get started on that....

Ciaooooo :)

26 June 2008

Days Like This

First off, "Days Like This" is one of my very favorite Van Morrison songs. It's a good one. Even though I get confused about the lyrics because I can't decide if he is talking about the day (like this one) as a good day or a bad day. I think it's supposed to be about a good day, but I can't be sure. I like to think it is though, because when I listen to it, it makes my day better.

Moving on, this past week has been a plethora of emotions. I have been on quite the rollercoaster of feelings. And I'm not going to lie, I don't like it at all. Let me start at the very beginning (because it's a very good place to start). I had the BEST weekend. Seriously, it was so fabulous. I journeyed to Atlanta with Jean, where we met up with Mary and Katrina..so yay, the suite was back together again! And we all got along really well, there was no drama, no awkwardness (ok, so maybe a little) and just overall fabulouslessness. The four of us hung out by ourselves Friday and then Saturday we went to Nate's (Katrina's boyfriend) pool and hung out with some other cool PC people that live in the area. And that was fabulous as well. The weather was perfect, the pool was fun and it was a really great group of people. Some of my favorite people, actually. And it was especially nice because in the past, things have been somewhat weird with some of the people, but all that was gone and there was nothing but drunken good times. It was kind of just like college...which isn't bad at all, because I won't lie-I really miss college (sometimes). Then we all went dancing that night which, duh, is my favorite thing ever, so you know I was in heaven...I made it a place on Earth. hahahaha, yes. Um, so anyways, all in all, it was such a good weekend and I was seriously depressed when I had to leave. Jean and I drove back to Columbia, where I got in my car and literally teared up. Right, so pathetic. But it just made me so sad because I was going back to my real life where my favorite people aren't and life in general is just not as fun.

Don't get me wrong-I do enjoy my life here in Charleston...I love my little house (come visit, ahem, SARAH), and the weather is great and I LOVE going to be the beach...but I just get so down sometimes. I think it's because I let myself get overwhelmed with thinking about what I am supposed to be doing...like starting my career. But I don't know what my career is supposed to be! Ah! It's all very lame. Also, I have let a certain someone back into my life and that is making things crazy, just as it was before. I apparently have blocked some memories cause I was all, yay, a boy is back in the picture. But, that was dumb because I forgot about all the stupid drama that comes along with the opposite sex. And it's about the dumbest shit too..mainly miscommunictaion and stubborness. Then it causes problems and I get all crazy thinking about it and then I finally say something and it turns out to be some huge misunderstanding and then I'm all, wtf?! why didn't I say something sooner, this all could have been avoided. And then I'm like, well no, why didn't YOU(boy) say something sooner. And here we go again. Stupid, stupid drama.

So yeah, I have been bouncing around between yay, good weekend, I love my friends to uggghhh, I need a new life and boys are dumb. I need some middle ground asap. I think things are finally starting to level out today though. And I have high hopes for this weekend. Next week is going to suck because I'm going to be back to working by myself (long story, more later, I'm PISSED), so I have to figure out a way to stay happy or someone might get bitch slapped at the pee farm.

Anyways, feel free to leave cheerful messages next week. Also, feel free to come VISIT...esp if, I don't know, you've been saying you were going to for the last three months and still haven't made it happen. Just saying.

Later dudes.

PS-HOW I could forget about this little gem, I don't know, but we had a super fabulous client come in today. His name was.....(drumroll please)....MISTER WRIGHT. I swear on all things holy that was his real name.

16 June 2008

Ignorance is not bliss

So this weekend wasn't bad...it just had a an incident that kind of tainted the rest of it. I went out to Folly Beach on Saturday for a friends birthday, which I never do. Mainly because Folly Beach is far, it's crowded and parking is a bitch. I would rather go to Sullivan's, park at my dads, and walk to the beach, knowing I will not get a parking ticket...even if I do have to go by myself. But whatever, it was a friends birthday, she wanted to go to Folly, so that is where I went. And my stupid self thought I found this great parking spot, only to come back to a car with a ticket on it. And not just a $30 ticket for parking in a prohibited area, but a freaking TWO HUNDRED dollar ticket for parking within 15 feet of a fire hydrant. I mean, are you serious?! Ok, yes, I was a moron for not even realizing that was not allowed, but come on, $200?! That is craziness! I mean, most places are really good about having signs for where you can and can't park..but not so with Folly. I think that is how the town makes most of their money in the summer, is with parking violations because I saw a ton of cars with tickets. So yeah, I'm a little upset and am going to try my best to get it reduced. I can think of a hundred things I would rather do with $200 than pay a parking ticket. Ugh, so that sucked a lot.

BUT, good news! This is a couple days later and I got that shit dropped! YAY! Long story, but basically I met a really nice police officer on Sullivan's that knew some people on Folly and a dozen doughnuts later, I got the ticket dropped. WHEW. Thank goodness, cause $200 is a ridiculous amount of money to be paying for a parking ticket.

Moving on, we had our first softball game Monday and honestly, we didn't do that bad. We only had 6 players, so that hurt us a little, especially in the outfield. It's kind of funny because JC and I are super serious about the team and we discuss it like the games matter. We had some pretty good hits and we got three outs in an inning! Now you're thinking, um, duh jacky, that is how the inning ends. Not so in machine pitch my friend. With kids this young, you just run through the batting line up and then the inning is over. And the ump was impressed with us becaus he said he's never seen a team get three outs in an inning. Oh yeah, that's right...and we only had 6 players bitches! Mills Brothers Heating and Air ROCKS! Another game tonight, we'll see how it goes.

So I've been watching Katt Williams lately and that shit is SO funny. Go check it out. He is kind of a potty mouth and it's a little in your face, but it is still really funny.

I would say more, but nothing else is really going on and besides, I got shit to do today n***a.

Peace.

04 June 2008

Hola bitches!

Si si, the title of this blog fits in nicely with my Spanish themed weekend. Well, really just Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. Whoa, ok, first I need to back up because it has been quite some time since I showed this blog some love. And I'll tell you why..it was because I was in a funk. And when I'm feeling funky (the bad kind of funky, not the cool, get your groove on kind), I don't really like communicating with the rest of the world. I get in my funk and I'm all like, screw everyone. Don't be offended, it's not because I don't like you. It's more because I let my horribly negative thinking hinder my ability to rationalize and I get to think that everyone else has it way better than me, and/or is the cause of my silly problems and then I just shut everyone out. Honestly, it's better for everyone because I can get pretty nasty to undeserving people if someone crosses my path. For example, some stupid ass woman that called the office last week got a little taste. I will say, however, that the bitch deserved it because she copped a tude first AND she was being a complete retard. Either way, she is still the customer so I should have been nice to her but I have horrible customer service skills, so that didn't happen. And instead of saying something to me, she walked her stupid ass down to our office and complained to my boss/dad! The nerve! I mean, whatever, it's not like I am going to get fired, but I did get a lovely lecture that I definitely could have done without, thank you very much. I really do have terrible customer service skills though, it's bad. I need to work on them...but I also need a job where I don't have to talk/deal with complete MORONS all day, every day. Seriously, some of the people I have to talk to fell off the turnip truck like, yesterday. That doesn't even really make sense, but I hope you all get what I'm saying. So anyways, she was a sort of innocent victim..just be glad it wasn't you. The rest of the week was retarded as well but things picked up Saturday for real.


Well, first Friday...I went on a date. It was alright. Call if you want details, but lets just say I will not be going out with that person again. I looked super cute though in my new Target skirt, so it wasn't a total loss.


On to Saturday...laid on the beach for three hours..by myself. Which is good and bad. The beach is always good, duh. But laying on it by yourself gets old. I do it a lot these days. Most of my friends live on the other side of town and/or they have other things to do. Also, I have a very limited number of friends here in Charleston, so it's hard to find people to do stuff with sometimes. Sad. Anyways, things got interesting that night when some friends and I went SALSA DANCING!!! Yesssss. One of my favorite things to do EVER. And it was great because the people I went with had never gone before and they were all nervous and were like, is this hard? I don't know think it will be fun. And then we get there and BAM! They are hit in the face with the amazingness that is Salsa dancing and they are forever hooked. I was a sketchmaster, as I always am at the salsa club (or any club really). But I'm not going to lie, I LOVE being sketchy. Sketchy jacky rarely comes out, but man, she is just fabulous and I love when she does. She's hott too! I mean, smoking hott! [The more I drink, the hotter I think I get]. She likes to sneak out of the club and make out with however snuck out with her. In this case, it was a cute Mexican...with a tongue ring...and an eyebrow ring...and a rat tail. AHHHHH-Oh SHIT-did I just say rat tail?!?!! Si, I did. It's true. I know, I know, I have sunk to a new low. But did I mention he had a tongue ring? I think that is a acceptable substitute for a neck tattoo. Don't judge. However, I did make the teensy little mistake of giving sketchy Mexican my phone number. Ooops. Yeah, bad idea...especially since he has called ELEVEN times since then. Haven't answered a one. You'd think he get the picture by now.

So anyways, Sunday I had a double header softball game. That was Spanish related because half my team is Hispanic. And they are all pretty terrible at softball...but they're fun and nice, so whatever. It was hot as HELL though playing outside Sunday afternoon. I was struggling too, after my wild and crazy Saturday night. But, I was still ballin'...I scored two runs and caught a pop fly. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

Ok, so posting this now cause I know my readers are getting desperate. You're welcome. More to come soon.

Ciao ciao!

23 May 2008

All you gotta is watch me, look what I can do with my feet

Yet another fabulous Chris Brown quote. That is one of my very favorite lines from a song...ever. I had a love/hate relationship with his new song ("Forever") at first...but I have grown to love it. I don't really know what the problem was at first, but who could not love a song that has that line it? I know I couldn't. Another favorite line of mine is from "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads. But only because when the guy says the line, he says it in this awesome voice that reminds me of my good friend Blakely. And he makes a good point I guess...he says "Say something once, why say it again?" I mean, I don't really agree because sometimes I do nothing but say the same thing over and over. Sometimes it's because I have to tell the same story to lots of different people. Sometimes it's because I think I'll make my point better if I say something multiple times. And a lot of times it's because I think I said something extremely funny, but no one is laughing, so I assume they didn't hear and I say it again until someone laughs...or tells me shut up.

I went to Jacksonville last weekend with another good friend, Katrina. We had quite the fabulous time. I got sunburned...again. Seriously, you would think I would know how to protect myself from harmful UV rays since I GREW up at the beach. Apparently the rays are stronger these days, so I guess I kind of have an excuse. But looking like a lobster is just embarrassing...I look like an amateur. And then I peel and that's not fun either. I don't let my face get burned though...it's usually just my chest...and last weekend my back too, but whatever. Anyways, it was so nice being with Katrina in Jacksonville. Number one, I was going back to my roots...St. Vincent's hospital, represent! Yeah that's right, yours truly comes straight from the streets of Jville. And number two, we actually went OUT and danced and partied. It was a fabulous change from going to bars and just chilling. I am in no mood for chilling these days. I want to go dance and be drunk and sketchy and make out with random people I don't know...possibly ones with neck tattoos. Don't judge...I got a late start with the drunken sketchiness. Most people start freshman year. I didn't really until junior year, so I've got at least another year or so to get it out of my system.

Well, now that I've gotten extremely up close and personal with my reader(s), I should probably shut up. I will say, as a parting note, that JC (my brother) and I are going to coach a machine pitch girls softball team together and I'm pretty pumped about it. JC went to the meeting tonight and he said he was not only the youngest coach there, but he was also the only male softball coach. I thought that was pretty funny. We have 7-8 year old girls (couldn't handle the littlest ones again) and I bet those girls are going to love him...can't wait! Hopefully this team will be better than my last. ::Fingers crossed:: I'll keep you updated, don't worry.

Alright, later dudes.

13 May 2008

Be my wifey

So I went to a wedding this weekend. And it was a lot of fun. Ok, I sound awkward. Let me esplain. Every time I go to a wedding I just feel so bizarre. First off, I still have a hard time believing that people my age are getting MARRIED. So crazy to me. Like, they are for REAL in the real world. Not this fake little real world I'm living in, but the real thing. It's insane. I can't even really explain what I mean, so I hope you understand what I mean. It involves bills and buying a house and merging bank accounts and talking about having kids and all kinds of other serious big people stuff. Additionally, just being at a wedding for someone my age makes me feel weird too. Like I don't really belong or something. I think part of it is because the idea of me getting married is SO far off for me in my fake world. Don't get me wrong, I am going to have one kick-ass wedding (Kami knows this), but it is not going to be until I'm like 35. So, faithful readers, you better keep in touch with me to insure an invite.

OH my, I've been rambling. This is not about me. This is about KATIE BROWN-who got MARRIED. And now she's Katie Head! Whoa buddy. And it was such a lovely wedding too. She looked so pretty! I'm not going to lie, her wedding was so simple, but so fabulous at the same time. It was fabulous because it was so perfectly Katie and Caleb. I think my favorite was that those two goobers just wandered into their own reception and got into the buffet line without being announced or anything. I guess they were just hungry. But here's a picture so everyone can see how cute they are:
Doesn't she just look so grown up?! Complete insanity.

Love you KB turtle :)

Ciaooooo.

04 May 2008

1, 2, 3, Go Grassroots!

Dear reader(s), please forgive me and my slackness as of late. Although I posted on the last blog that I was feeling fine and dandy post retrieval, that did not turn out to be the case in the days following. In fact, I have been feeling pretty darn shitty. But no worries, I feel much better today. No more feeling super bloated and wincing when I stand up or sit down. Don't get me wrong, it was totally worth and it really wasn't that bad, it was just uncomfortable. And, I'm a big whiner...so yeah, I'm better, no big deal.

Anyways, we had our last soccer game yesterday....and we tied! YAY! Seriously, Grassroots definitely saved the best for last. A tie is HUGE when you've done nothing but lost by at least 3 or 4 every game. I was pretty proud of the team. Given my fragile state, I let Allison coach on the field while I managed the sidelines. That, believe it or not is actually harder than coaching on the field. Those kids are squirming all over the place and whining about one thing or another. Someone always has to go to the bathroom, or is sweating, or is thirsty, or wants to go in or play goalie. There is just no pleasing them! It's entertaining though. The craziest things come out of their mouths. They were all psyched up about getting trophies and kept asking about them. I told them they only got trophies if they didn't whine. There was still some whining, but I feel like it was minimized a tiny bit. So anyways, after the big TIE, we had a cookout, which turned out to be pretty fun. I got this awesome cake from publix:

I told all the parents I made it myself...and they totally bought it! Yeah right, like I have the time OR the talent to do something like that. Come on people. The parents also kept asking me if I was going to coach next year. Hmmm, something to think about. I actually had a lot of fun and it was definitely an entertaining experience. However, I think if I did, I might coach kids that are a couple years older. Just because they might be a little more responsive to actual coaching. We'll see. Anyways, then we handed out trophies and it was the highlight of their little lives, I'm sure.
I wish it were a closer and better picture so you could see everyone's face and just how funny they all are. More pics on facebook, check it.
k, well nothing else exciting happened at the party...other than someone leaving their shoes. Now I have to track down someone with a missing pair of soccer cleats. Seriously, now do you just wander off with no shoes on? I feel like that is a pretty major part of your ensemble. But that's just me.

Off to softball. Later dudes.

30 April 2008

Ah, Infertility

Yay! The eggs came out today! And it actually went much, much better than I thought it was going to. I was really afraid I was going to be super sore and nauseous, but I am feeling pretty good. My dad is the one that ended up taking me to the place...that was a little awkward. Only because the nurse and everyone was talking about girl stuff with him right there. Also, when I woke up from the anesthesia, I felt like I was super drunk and kept saying retarded things. I mean, I say stupid things anyway, but I just couldn't make myself stop. And in all honesty, I thought it was pretty funny, but the neither the nurse or my dad looked particularly amused. So I kinda wish I had someone more fun there. But oh well. Either way, I now am $3500 richer and seriously, that was the easiest $3500 I have ever made. It's almost as much money that I made at the ranch, and I had to spend four months in hell for that! The only thing that stinks now is that I can't drive for the rest of the day and all I really want to do is go to the beach and/or go shopping. I need a chauffeur. Too bad my sister is not all that nice, she'd be perfect.

Anywho, I'm going back to my heating pad now. But I feel fine...just a tad bit crampy, no worries people.

Later dudes.

24 April 2008

You're Welcome

I'm really tired and will be returning to this post to add more later, promise. But for now, my dear loyal readers, I wanted to share with you this little jobby I found on the Go Fug Yourself website:

Fuggifer Fugpez Fugoa Fugdd almost-Fugfleck Fugthony

It is perhaps my most favorite of all the pictures. First off, I love that they do J. Lo's section in her voice. So fabulous. And also, that outfit? Seriously? Celebrities kill me. They are the biggest waste of space and money. I mean, someone got paid to make that shit and then I'm sure J. Lo had to pay big bucks to wear it. Those shoes make me hurt. And I won't even discuss the rest of the outfit. She looks like a complete idiot. As do most celebs. However, I guess it's not a total waste because without their idiot selves, how would I entertain myself at work?

I also found this website: Stuff God Hates. It has potential to be funny...but I think it's trying a little too hard.

Also, the egg retrieval is going to be Sunday (fingers crossed)! As long as my follicles cooperate, we should be all systems go. Get excited!

More later bitches. Ciaooo

16 April 2008

White Hot

This particular blog was created pretty much only because I want to discuss the crazy lady at my gym. She actually kind of scares me a little. bit. First off, she's there ALL the time. I've been to the gym at really random times before and sure enough, there she is. 9:00 on Monday night, 11:00 Saturday morning, 3:00 Sunday afternoon, she's there. She is either on the elliptical machine or the stationary bike. And she is super skinny already, so she really doesn't need to be working out in the first place (that is what I think about all skinny people-they need to stop working out and get fat like me). But here is the really crazy part-she is always exercising in spandex, a sweatshirt and with like, 8 towels piled on top of her head. I really think she has problems. She looks like a wrestler trying to sweat off extra pounds before a match. Only she's like, 60 and clearly not a wrestler. I think she needs help. I've thought about saying something to the people that work there, but it's like two high school boys, so I don't think they would really care. It also makes me sad that I have to go to the gym alone and don't have anyone there to laugh at her with me. I look around at the other people there sometimes, but no one else seems to notice.

Soccer game monday. We scored. So we're improving. The other team scored three times as many goals, but we're going to focus on the two that we scored. The other team had a beast too, so it was a little unfair. I think out of the eight goals they scored, this one girl scored six of them. We had some crying, as always, but it was a little more justified this time...she got hit in the face with the ball. So I'm hoping Saturday is going to be our big comeback. It's going to be great.

Since I've been reading the "Stuff White People Like," I have been very aware of just how white I am. I thought maybe I would have some credibility since I dated a black person, but I think even if did, it's been lost by now. I mean, first off, the person was a complete loser, secondly, it's been awhile since that, and lastly (and also my personal favorite), I got replaced because I was in fact, not black. So anyways, it was cracking me up yesterday because I was so extremely white. First I went to the gym and listened to white people music on my ipod. After that, I went home, grabbed my reusuable grocery bag and walked myself to the farmer's market. Then I walked back home, planted some flowers and made myself a lovely white person dinner. All in all, a fabulously white afternoon.

Holy crap, new favorite website- Go Fug Yourself. Just discovered it at work and it is freaking hysterical. I will no longer be looking for a job, I'll be reading this website instead. And will be jealous and wishing it were my job to judge stupid ass, fugly celebrities.

Hm, so this deviated a little from just the crazy lady, but whatever.

Ciaoooo.

15 April 2008

Oh What a Miracle Am I

So this blog is going to be really random and retarded because I don't have anything really to write about. I'm at work and it's freezing in the office. But I guess that's not really anything new, so whatever. But just wanted to warn people (all my adoring fans that read this) that extreme randomness is coming your way.

First off, Sarah rocks my face off for taking the time to actually research what Chris Brown is talking about. It all makes sense now. That Chris Brown...not only is he super fine, but he is also so clever with his witty analogies. I'd be his Jordans EVERY day, you know what I'm saying? Holla Chris.

My mom was telling me the other day about how she sings songs to her first grade class and I started singing some of the million camp songs I have learned over the years and I wanted to share one of personal favorites (I have four). It's called "Oh, What a Miracle" and I don't know the tune to tell you, but if you're ever around me, I'll sing it for you. Here goes:

[chorus..there are movements involved as well]
Oh, what a miracle,
Oh, what a miracle
Every little part of me
I'm so special, so very special
Ain't nobody quite like me!

[then you make up a few verses]
I've gotta ____[nose]___ (point to your nose)
I've gotta nose
Watch me ______[pick it]____ (pick your nose)
Watch me pick it
OH, what a miracle am I!

[more verses, then the chorus again]

So you can make up all kinds of good stuff for the verses, like, I've got a appendix...watch it do nothing...I've got eyes, watch me watch you. Get creative...it's fun.
My other favorites are This Little Light of Mine, Be a Great Boy/Girl, and the Y song. Oh, and Camp Greenville High. So I guess I have five. Oh man, I am such a nerd.

To further prove what a nerd I am, I am now going to talk about facebook and how it is getting completely out of control. Ok, first off, it needs to back up out of my business and quit telling me who I should be friends with. If I wanted to be friends with those people, I probably already would be. Especially with a school like PC...if I'm not already their friend and they are friends with lots of my friends..it's probably because I don't really like them. So back off facebook. I also don't need facebook making me feel like a loser with the "Wish you weren't lonely?" ad. Of course I wish that, but I don't need fb rubbing it my face. And the super hot guy that is pictured on the ad probably isn't interested in me. And even if he was, he probably lives really far away and/or has already been picked up by some other facebook loser that actually clicks on those ads. I also don't want to look at some fatty's muffin tops while I'm facebook stalking. They're distracting, as well as disgusting. And really, I feel sorry for the poor girl who's nasty back fat is featured on facebook for millions of people to see. That's just embarrassing. And lastly, I don't care what kind of pin-up girl, dog, vampire or princess I would be. That seriously has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. And I will say that even though I refuse to add the "top friends" feature to my profile...it does make me a little bit sad when I'm not in someones top friends.

Another crazy work story-a young guy came in (my age) with his mother and I guess grandmother but couldn't pee at first. So he's drinking water in the lobby and the mom looks at me and is like, well if he can't go, you can just take mine can't you? Um, what?! No, crazy lady, I cannot substitute your pee for your sons. It doesn't work like that. I swear, some people are just beyond ridiculous.

In other news, in every game I've played in this week (cause I'm ballin'...oh yeah, and speaking of ballin, there is a caseworker for DSS who's last name is Baller and I think that is so awesome and am thinking of asking him to marry me so that can be my last name too), my team has gotten murdered. It's actually quite sad. We did alright in kickball and in softball we were pretty rag tag, but we at least scored. However, in soccer on Saturday..we were struggling big time. I don't think my team even got down to the other end of the field. I think it was like 11-0. They were all crazy too...I don't know if it was because it was Saturday or what (maybe they were all excited about new Jordans?) but I think everyone on the team cried at least once. Hopefully we can pull ourselves together tonight. There's no crying in soccer!

Ok, this is getting out of control. So I'll stop.

Ciao!

08 April 2008

Burning questions

Here's what I want to know: why do middle aged men think wearing push-up socks with shorts is acceptable? At what point in a man's life do they make the change from ankle socks to push-up socks? Or, are there two different kinds of men, those who wear ankle socks and those who wear push-up socks? If that's the way it is, then I definitely need an ankle sock wearing kind of guy. This burning question came about after I went to my first softball "practice" on Sunday. I don't know if it counted as a real practice since it was me, five middle aged men, a muddy, unusable field and one extremely heavy wooden bat. I think you need a little more than that to constitute a real practice. I could be wrong though. I hope the team works out though, because I really want to play softball. I was hoping to meet some cute guys that are my age, but it's looking like everyone is going to be at least 15 years older. Maybe they can get me a job or something...or maybe they have kids. We'll see.

So I did the Cooper River Bridge Run on Saturday. And by run, I mean I walked it. And even though it took me an hour and a half, I still beat about 20,000 people. So yeah, I'm pretty awesome. Not quite as awesome as the Kenyans that won the whole thing. They were finished, showered and receiving medals before the last people had even crossed the finish line. Isn't that insane?! That nonsense just blows my mind. And they fact that they ran 6.2 miles (nearly 2 of them uphill) in 28 minutes. TWENTY-EIGHT MINUTES. Complete insanity. I can't even imagine being able to do such a thing. And just in case I ever think that I could ever be capable of doing such a thing, I'll hopefully remember how sore I was in the days after walking 6.2 miles. It's really quite sad and I am working on forcing myself to change that. I'm counting softball practice as a step in the right direction.

The housewarming party was fun. Nothing too crazy happened. I apparently made some bomb ass hunch punch. I don't actually know, since I stuck to wine all night. Don't really have anything else to say..what happens on Fairmont, stays on Fairmont. Ok, I'm just being dramatic...it's just that nothing much really happened.

So here's what else I really want to know: what is Chris Brown talking about when he says "You're like Jordans on Saturday?!?!??!" I know I've asked this before, but I would really like to know. I would also like to know why a company would send me an email with the subject line, "Open Position at Blackbaud," make me all excited thinking there's an open position they'd like me to fill and then have the actual email tell me they decided to go with someone more qualified. That is just asshole right there. Someone at Blackbaud is mean.

That's all I got for now. No more questions your honor.

Ciaoooo

02 April 2008

Ballin'

Literally. But I'll get to that later.

oooooh-GOOD weekend! (I started writing this post on Monday and am just now finishing it...oops) 100% fabulous. Wait, maybe 90%...car not starting was less than fabulous. But, Ralph (the car) is better than ever now, so all is well. So, let's talk bachelorette party. Whoa, crazy times. I'd never been to one before, so I didn't really know what to expect, but it turned out to be really fun. Nellifers came down and we partied it up with Katie and her friends at Pantheon. Yes, that's right. This would be my second visit to the gay club in the last two months. Both times were fun, so I'm not ashamed. Other than the penis party favors, my favorite part of the evening would have to be when a girl danced up to me, asked if I was straight and then danced off when I told her yes. I was a little sad to see her go, I'm not gonna lie. JK..she wasn't that hot.

On to Saturday. Things didn't look that promising after it turned freezing and Ralph wouldn't start..but thanks to indoor heating and Ray letting me borrow his car, things picked up. Not only did I get to leave, but I also did it with class, red BMW convertible style. Um, it's a 94 so don't get too jealous...and it was raining and freezing, so I couldn't enjoy the convertible part. Anyways, I went to Columbia and met up with some of my absolute favorite people. Had some fabulous pizza and ice cream with the fabulous Kelly and Sarah. Kelly is off on her Asian adventure soon! I'm excited for her, but also super jealous and sad that I won't get to see her for a long time. And Sarah rocks my face off. I mean, not only is she one of the only people that read this (hey Sarah!) but she's also just all around awesome. And she needs to come visit asap. Anyways, then I met up with Katrina and Jeannie, my wonderful college roomies and we had fun, even though we hung out with slightly awkward boys at a slightly boring bar. I loved hanging out with them though. And I MISS them..and everyone! I hate being out of college and having all my best buds spread out all over the world. :( But I need to get over that...so onto my real life....

We won our first soccer game! Gooooo Grassroots! Well, kind of.... it was raining Monday afternoon, so only three kids showed up. The team we were playing (white team) had a full roster, so we combined with another team (Harris Teeter), who also only had three kids, and played against the white team. Two kids on the other team were a-mazing! Probably better than me. One scored in the first five seconds of the game. So yeah, we won. I am not looking forward to the day we play Harris Teeter though. Maybe it'll be raining again. Their coach said some of the kids had been playing together for three years...since they were three! That's crazy!

Ok, so the ballin part. I went to my kickball meeting and signed up for a softball team! I am a sports coaching/playing fool! Well, I don't know if the softball team is for real yet..but I really hope so because I actually wanted to play softball instead of kickball, but didn't have anyone to play with. But some guys came up to us a the kickoff meeting last night and said they needed more girls for their team, so I offered. The only thing holding me back is the fee, but since they are desperate, I might be able to strike a deal and get some of it paid for. ::fingers crossed::

So, yeah, I'm pretty awesome. The egg donation thing started as well, so I have to give myself injections ever day. It's really not that bad. Needles don't bother me and it doesn't hurt, so I'm doing fine. I just have to remember to do it every day..which might be difficult on the weekends since I have to do it in the morning. Maybe the money will go towards a new car...we'll see. That's not really what I want to spend it on, but I don't know how much longer Ralph is going to make it. Maybe if I wash him more often he'll start behaving. Also, I learned today that one of my roommates not only stole my dental floss, but also broke it. He thought it was his...I guess he figured since he is so awesome and in dental school, he is the only one that flosses. Nay nay friend, I also care about my teeth. Especially after my four cavity visit to the dentist in December. How embarassing is that?

That's all folks. Ciao!